MR. 'POSSUM EXPLAINS
HOW UNCLE SILAS TRIED TO PLEASE AUNT MELISSY
WELL, you remember that the Hollow Tree people took four of theirfriends to live with them and called it the Hollow Tree Inn. Mr. Robincame, and Mr. Turtle, also Jack Rabbit and Mr. Squirrel, and they made ajolly crowd after they got settled and knew about each getting his ownthings to eat, because the Hollow Tree people--the 'Coon and 'Possum andthe Old Black Crow--found they couldn't suit their guests exactly whenit came to a steady diet. So they all kept house together, and used togo out days (and nights, too, sometimes) and get nice things. Thenthey'd bring them in and fix them to suit themselves, and have them allon the big table down stairs, nice and comfortable, where they could sitand talk as long as they pleased.
It was a good deal like a big family when they were all together thatway, and they used to say how nice it was, and once Mr. 'Possum said healways did think a big family was nice, anyway. Then Jack Rabbit laughedand said he should think Mr. 'Possum was just the kind of a man for abig family, being fond of good things to eat and not very fond ofgetting them for himself, and mostly fat and sleepy like. He said ifthere was just a nice, spry Mrs. 'Possum, now, to keep house and lookafter things he should think it would be ever so much better than livingin bachelor quarters, or, rather, thirds, with Mr. 'Coon and Mr. Crow,and not having things very orderly. Of course, with himself, Jack Rabbitsaid, it was different, but even at his house it got lonesome, too, nowand then.
SHE TIED HIS TIE FOR HIM]
Well, Mr. 'Possum thought a minute, and then he said that there was sucha thing as folks being too spry, and that it was because he had alwaysbeen afraid of getting that kind that he had been pretty well satisfiedto live in the Hollow Tree just as he was. He said that he had once hadan uncle that something happened to in that line, and whenever hethought about poor Uncle Lovejoy he didn't seem to care much abouttrying anything he wasn't used to. Then they all wanted him to tellabout Uncle Lovejoy and what happened to him. So Mr. 'Possum did tell,and it went this way:--
"Once upon a time," he said, "Uncle Lovejoy--we always called him UncleSilas then--he was uncle on my mother's side, and lived with AuntMelissy in a nice place just beyond the Wide Paw-paw Hollows--once upona time, as I was saying, he had to go to town on some business, and thatwas something that never happened to Uncle Lovejoy before.
COUSIN GLENWOOD MET HIM AT THE STATION]
"Well, Aunt Melissy was always a spry woman, as I said, andstirring--very stirring, and primpy, too. But she was never as stirringand spry and primpy as she was the day that Uncle Silas started fortown. She dressed him all up neat and proper in his very best things,and tied his tie for him, and while she was tying it she says:--
COUSIN GLEN TOOK UNCLE LOVEJOY TO THE STORES]
"'Now, Silas,' she says, 'when you get to town you buy a few littlearticles right away and put them on. You don't want folks to see thatyou come from the country, you know, and you don't want Cousin Glenwoodto be ashamed of you before folks. Cousin Glen will know just whatthings you need and where to get them.' Then she told him not to get runover by anything, or blow out the gas, or let anybody see that he wasn'tused to things, because, you see, Aunt Melissy was proud, being aGlenwood herself. Then Uncle Lovejoy promised all those things, and thathe would use his napkin and not eat pie out of his hand or drink out ofhis finger bowl, and a lot more things that Aunt Melissy remembered atthe last minute. So you see by the time he got on the train he had agood deal to think about, and he kept thinking about it until by thetime he got to the city he'd made up his mind he'd try to do for onceeverything she told him to and give her a pleasant surprise with the wayhe had fixed up and improved his manners when he got back. Uncle Lovejoywas good natured, and always anxious to please folks, especially AuntMelissy.
WHERE THERE WAS A MIRROR UNCLE LOVEJOY WOULD STAND BEFOREIT AND ADMIRE HIMSELF]
"Well, Cousin Glenwood met him at the station, and about the first thingUncle Silas said was to ask him where he got his clothes, and to tellhim that Aunt Melissy had said he was to fix up, so's folks wouldn'tthink he came from the country, which, of course, she had. That justsuited Cousin Glenwood, for he liked to spend money and show off what heknew about the city; so he took Uncle Lovejoy 'most everywhere, and toldhim to buy 'most everything he saw. And of course Uncle Silas did it,because he wanted to surprise Aunt Melissy when he got back, and makeher feel happy for once in her life.
"Cousin Glen took Uncle Lovejoy to the stores first, and then to a goodmany different kinds of places afterward, and every place where therewas a mirror Uncle Lovejoy would stand before it and admire himself andwonder what Aunt Melissy would say when he got home. He kept buying newthings every day, because every day he'd see somebody with something onor carrying or leading something, and when he remembered what AuntMelissy said, he made up his mind he'd have to have all the things toplease her, and he got them as far as he could. Even Cousin Glenwood hadto commence buying things pretty soon to keep up, and before long peopleused to stop on the street and look at them when they went by. UncleSilas didn't want to go home, either, when the time came, but of coursehe had to, and he put on his best clothes for the trip, and took a youngman he'd hired to wait on him, and started.
PEOPLE USED TO STOP ON THE STREET AND LOOK AT THEM]
"He didn't tell Aunt Melissy just what time he'd be there, so it was asurprise sure enough. He walked right into the yard, and behind was theyoung man he'd hired, carrying his things. Aunt Melissy was gettingdinner, and had just come to the door a minute to see what time it wasby the sun, when all of a sudden, as she looked up, there he was! He hadhis hat in one hand and a cane in the other, and was leading a gamechicken by a string. All his boxes and bundles and the young man werebehind him. Uncle Lovejoy wore an eyeglass, too, and smoked a paperthing he said was a cigarette. My little cousins, who were there, toldme afterward that their pa had never looked so fine in his life beforeor since. They didn't know him at all, and neither did Aunt Melissy. Shethought he was somebody with something to sell at first, and when hesaid, 'Aw, there, Melissah!' she threw up her hands and was about tocall for help, when just that minute she saw it was Uncle Silas.
HE WALKED RIGHT INTO THE YARD, AND BEHIND WAS THE YOUNGMAN HE'D HIRED]
"Poor Uncle Silas! He meant to surprise her, and he did it sureenough. He meant to please her, though, and he didn't do that worth acent. It seemed funny, but she was mad. That's just the trouble aboutwomen folks; you never know when you're going to please them. My littlecousins said they never saw their ma so mad before or since. She madeUncle Lovejoy take off all his nice clothes, and the young man, too, andshe cooked the game chicken for dinner. Then, right after dinner, shepicked up a bag of shinney sticks that Uncle Lovejoy had brought home,and she says to him and the young man:--
"NOW YOU GET OUT IN THE GARDEN, BOTH OF YOU"]
"'Now you get out in the garden,' she says, 'both of you, and try toearn back some of this money you've been spending.' And Uncle Lovejoydidn't feel very much like it, but he went, and so did the young man. Sodid Aunt Melissy, and she used up most of those shinney sticks on UncleSilas and the young man before fall, and Uncle Silas never saw any ofhis nice clothes again, though they had the best garden they ever didhave, so my little cousins said.
"And that," said Mr. 'Possum, leaning back in his chair to smoke,"that's why I've always been afraid to try family life. It's easier toplease one than two, especially when the other one is a spry, stirringperson like Aunt Melissy Lovejoy."
"What became of all the good clothes?" asked Jack Rabbit, who was alwaysvery stylish.
"Why, I've heard," said Mr. 'Possum, "that Aunt Melissy made some ofthem over for my little cousins, and that she traded off the rest ofthem to a pedler for patent medicine to give Uncle Silas for a weakmind, and I think he needed it some myself for trying to please her inthe first place."
Mr. Rabbit nodded.
"It takes all kinds of people to make a world," he said.
Mr. 'Coo
n yawned and rubbed his eyes. The others were fast asleep.