VIII.
_DISOBEDIENCE._
LILY lay upon her back on the grass, her hands beneath her head, hereyes looking up into the sky. She had been lying thus some time,perfectly quiet, though Belle and Mamie sat beside her, playing withLulu.
"Lily," said Belle at last, "what are you doing?"
"Thinking," answered Lily.
"Oh!" said Belle, surprised, perhaps, at this unusual process; for Lilygenerally had too many other things on hand to devote much time tothought; "you look as if you were thinking sober too."
"Well, yes," said Lily, without bringing her eyes down from the sky;"it was rather pious thinking I was doing."
"Would you mind telling us about it?" asked Belle, interested in thenovelty.
"Oh, no, not at all," answered Lily. "I was thinking about conscience,and what a dreadful bother it is; but how it improves us, and how awfulwe'd be without it. It's a great mercy it was given to us,--to me, atleast; or I should be all the time doing bad things. I think we mightcall conscience a bother blessing, because, though it is best for us tohave it, it is a great inconvenience."
"Is it an inconvenience to you now?" asked Belle.
"No, not particular," said Lily, rolling over on her side, and pluckinga head of thistle-down which grew close at hand. "Here, Lulu, blowthis;" and she held it up that the little one might blow off thefeathery seed-vessels; "not particular just now; but it was a greatinconvenience before dinner. You see, Belle,--once more, Lulu; therethey go!--you see I wanted to do a thing very much, but I did notfeel sure mamma would let me, and she had gone to make a call, so Icould not ask her; and I made up my mind I'd just do it; and do youknow, I really believe I felt quite glad mamma was not there, so shecouldn't forbid me; but then my conscience,--I suppose it was myconscience,--puff away, Lulu,--began to feel badly about it, and so Iput it off till mamma came, and sure enough, she did forbid it. So, yousee, there's a sign that conscience is a bother and a blessing too."
"Yes," said Belle approvingly.
"And then," proceeded Lily, thinking she might as well continue togive her companions the benefit of her moral reflections, "and then Iwas wondering what conscience was. We're so queer inside of us; ourthoughts and our consciences and our remorses, and all that, you know."
"Yes," said Belle again. "Lily, I suppose conscience is a kind of 'ThouGod seest me' feeling; don't you?"
"Why, yes," answered Lily, looking admiringly at Belle. "I neverthought about it that way, but I believe it is; and that was a veryclever idea of yours, Belle. Mamie, what do you think about it? Youseem to have thought a good deal lately about God seeing you all thetime."
"I don'no," muttered Mamie. The conversation was not pleasant to her,and she did not choose to take any part in it.
"I s'pose heathen can't have consciences as long as they don't knowabout God," said Belle thoughtfully.
"No, I'm quite sure they do not," said Lily confidently.
"Hafed, Mr. Stanton's servant boy, used to be a heathen," said Belle.
"Yes, but he's turned now, and a Christian," said Lily. "Belle, Iknow three turned heathen," with an air of great satisfaction in theextensiveness of her acquaintance with converted idolaters. "There'sHafed, and there's that Chinese pedler that mamma buys matches of, andthere's that old black man on your papa's plantation who used to be aking in his own country. Belle, when that old black man gets to heaven,won't he make a queer, awfully ugly old angel?"
"He won't be black then," said Belle; "at least, I b'lieve he won't.But he's very good if he is so ugly; papa says so."
"How will he get white, I wonder?" queried Lily; "he's so awfullyblack; and such a mouth!"
Mamie was glad that the solving of this knotty question diverted thethoughts of her two little playmates from the subject of conscience andthe all-seeing Eye of God. It really seemed that people had a greatdeal to say about it, and were always bringing it up before her mind ata time when she would have chosen to forget it. She was almost vexedwith dear little Belle because she had, at her own request, given herthe text which, not long since, she had chosen as her watchword, butwhich she now strove to put away from her thoughts, and by which shewould not rule her conduct.
"Come, Lulu, we're going home now," she said, fearing that the otherchildren might go back to the unwelcome subject of conversation.
"No, no; Lulu will tay here. Lulu tay wis Belle and Lily," said thelittle one. "Mamie tay too."
"No, I'm going," persisted Mamie; "you come, and Mamie will take you ona nice, pretty walk."
Lulu obediently scrambled to her feet and put her hand in her sister's,tempted by the prospect of the promised walk. Belle and Lily did noturge their stay, partly because Mamie was not in a pleasant mood thatafternoon; secondly, because they both knew that they would shortly becalled to be made ready for a drive with their parents. And there cameDaphne now to bring her little mistress, and to tell Lily to go to hernurse. So good-by was said to Mamie and Lulu, and the four childrenparted and went their different ways.
Mamie was generally kind and good to Lulu, so the pet child alwaysliked to be with her; and their mother was not afraid to trust themtogether within the safe shelter of the enclosures which ran abouttheir hotel, and the next one where Belle and Lily stayed. Gates openedin each of the rows of picket fences which divided the grounds, so thatone might pass in and out, and from one house to another without goingupon the high road or plank-walk which bordered it.
And it was only within these enclosures that Mamie had intended to takeher little sister; but the plank-walk had charms for Lulu far beyondthose of the grass-plots and gravel-path about the houses. Lulu likedto see the world, and thought she could do so to better advantage onthe road.
"We do on de plant-walt, an' see de hosseys an' bow-wows," she saidcoaxingly.
Mamie hesitated. Mamma had never told her she must not take Lulu on theplank-walk; but she was pretty sure she would not allow her to do so ifshe were asked. She could not ask her, that was certain; for mamma waslying down with a bad headache, and she knew she would not be sufferedto go near her. Certainly she found conscience "a bother" now, as Lilyhad done that morning; but she would not listen to its calls, as heryoung friend had done, and put temptation from her. Papa was away, goneto town; of course he was out of the question; but there was her nurse.She could ask leave from her, but with the certainty of being refused,Mamie was sure of that. The nurse was rather careless and indifferent,disposed, so long as she believed the children were safe, to take herease and enjoy her own gossip with her fellow-servants, as she wasdoing now; but Mamie knew very well that she would promptly refusepermission to go outside of the gates.
Mamie was herself anxious to take her pretty, cunning little sisterout upon the plank-walk, and parade her up and down, and show heroff to the passers-by; any other little girl would have liked to dothe same; the temptation was strong, and in her present rebellious,undutiful mood, she did not even try to resist it.
Lulu pleaded again.
"Pease, Mamie, do out dere on de plant-walt;" and what did Mamie do?
She salved her still uneasy conscience by running back to where hernurse sat sewing and talking with some other maids, and asked,--
"Maria, could Lulu and I walk about a little?"
"To be sure, child; just as if you didn't always walk about as muchas you pleased," answered the nurse, not dreaming that Mamie meant totake her little sister, or to go herself, beyond the safe permittedenclosure about the house, if, indeed, she gave it any thought at all.
"Come, then, Lulu; Maria says we may go," said Mamie; and, taking goodcare to pass out of Maria's sight as she did so, she led the little oneout upon the plank-walk.
Once there, all uneasy thoughts were flung to the winds; and althoughshe had intended "only to walk up and down a very little way," she wastempted farther and farther on, and away from the house. Lulu prattledand chattered away, delighted with all that she saw; and to Mamie thenovelty of having her baby-sister in charge upon the public w
alk, andthe pleasure with which she saw one and another turn to notice her,was quite enough to still the last lingering reproaches of conscience.Perhaps some of those passers-by wondered to see those two youngchildren wandering alone by a much-travelled highroad; indeed, an oldgentleman stopped, and said, "Where now, alone by yourselves, my littleones?" to which Mamie hastily made answer, "Oh, just taking a walk,sir; Maria said we might;" and, believing all was right, the gentlemanpassed on, only saying, "Don't go too far then; Maria had best havecome with you."
Mamie did not think so, and made no reply.
She was opposite the breakwater now, the object of so many desires, somany rebellious and undutiful murmurings; she was alone, at least withonly her little sister for company, and Lulu could not interfere withher. The long-wished-for opportunity had come.
To do her justice, she had not started from home with any thought ofthe breakwater, or intention of going upon it, and had only turnedthat way in order to be out of the range of Maria's eyes; but now washer chance except for Lulu. How was she to take the child over thoseruined, uneven stones?
She looked about her up and down the road. There was no one near;the friendly old gentleman was quite a distance down the plank-walk;neither carriages nor foot passengers coming by now, not even a soul tobe seen on the piazzas of the neighboring hotels. There was no time tobe lost; she did not want any one to find her upon the breakwater, andshe would stay there but a moment.
"Come, Lulu," she said; and the two children had crossed the road, andwere at the lower end of the pier.
"Now, Lulu," she said, "you sit down here a moment on this stone. Mamieis just going up there one minute, and it is too hard for Lulu. If youare good and sit still, Mamie will give you some pretty shells when wego home."
The little one wagged her head, and sat down contentedly on the stoneat which Mamie pointed.
"Mamie will only go a very little way," said her sister, and away shewent, scrambling over the stones and rubbish till she reached theextreme end of the pier.
Her heart beat fast, but it was less with the feeling of guilt, for shedid not take time to listen to that, than with haste and excitement.
"Only one minute," she had said; but as she grasped the wooden pileby which she stood, and peered over the edge of the breakwater, sheforgot how moments were passing. No wonder Lily and the other childrenliked to come there. It was so curious and so beautiful to see thewaves come rolling in right beneath her eyes, and break against themass of masonry, solid and resisting still, ruined though it was; sopretty, when the wave rolled back, to watch the water running out ina hundred little jets and waterfalls from between the crevices of thestones; so wonderful to seem to look down into the very heart of thosetransparent green rollers with their crests of snowy foam! And withwhat a booming sound they came against the obstacle which barred theirfarther progress, and would not suffer them to finish their rightfulmarch upon the beach beyond! Oh, it was grand, glorious!
Mamie was perfectly fascinated. Every thing was forgotten but the sightand the sounds before her. Her own disobedience, her mother, her littlesister, had for the time quite passed from her thoughts, as she hungover the edge and looked down upon the sea. A gentle summer sea it wasthat day, or it may be that the breaking of some furious wave wouldhave startled her from her hold, and given her a thorough shower-bath,if no worse; for Mamie's position was by no means a safe one, thoughshe did not think of that.
And meanwhile what was Lulu doing?
The little creature sat still for a moment or two as her sister hadbidden her, singing softly to herself and looking up and down the road.But presently she tired of this; Mamie stayed too long, and there wasno amusement at hand, nothing to do. She called to Mamie several times,but she did not hear; the sound of the booming waters below her drownedall other voices. Then Lulu fretted a little, then looked about heragain, and there came a great, big dog trotting along the road.
Now, although Lulu had begged to be allowed to go and see the"bow-wows," she preferred to view them at a safe distance, or at leastunder the shelter of some protecting hand. And she was not acquaintedwith this particular "bow-wow," and to her infant eyes he wore aferocious and unfriendly aspect. So she must move out of the way beforehe came near; and, since Mamie would not come to her, she must go toMamie.
Lulu was a great climber for a child of her age, and the roughness ofthe path she had to cross had no terrors for her. Rising from her seatwith the fear of that "bow-wow" before her eyes, the baby-feet sooncarried her over jagged stones and crumbling masonry, till she thoughtherself at a safe distance from the dog, at whom she peeped from behinda sheltering pile as he passed by, and then turned once more to go toMamie.
Oh, if the poor, timid mother lying suffering upon her bed had butseen her children then! Mamie on the forbidden spot, leaning over theleaping waters, with only the clasp of her own small arm about thewooden pile to keep her from falling headlong into their depths; herbaby-girl clambering with faltering, unsteady steps over that rough andrugged way.
But now a new object took Lulu's attention, and diverted her thoughtsfrom Mamie.
Tom Norris had gone over to Newport for the day, and had lent hisboat to Walter and Ned Stone; they were careless boys, especially thelatter, and it was with many a charge to be sure and take good care ofthe boat that he had granted the favor.
They had been out rowing that morning, and had come back with aquantity of spoils in the shape of shells and sea-weeds which theyhad gathered. They had returned just before the hour for dinner, and,meaning to go out again as soon as that meal was over, had not madethe boat properly fast to the stake, but had contented themselves withcarrying off the oars, and knotting a rope over one of the stones ofthe pier.
But after dinner some new and greater attraction, _what_ is of noconsequence, had taken their time and thoughts; and, forgetting allabout the neglected boat, they had gone off, leaving it so carelesslyfastened, and liable to slip its hold at any moment when the wavesmight become a little stronger; rubbing its pretty painted sides too,now and then, against the rough stones when the wash of the wavescarried it too near.
But still worse mischief than this was to come from the thoughtlessnessof those heedless boys, joined as it was to Mamie's deliberatedisobedience.
Making her way as she best could to her sister, the eye of the littlechild was caught by the pretty boat bobbing up and down upon the waves;and farther, oh, priceless treasure! by the sight of a few gay shellswhich the boys in their hurry had dropped in the bottom of the boat.
"Dere's Mamie's pitty sells," said the darling to herself; "me will det'em."
And the little feet slipped and slid themselves over the stones, tillshe stood at the very water's edge.
You will remember that this was on the sheltered side of thebreakwater, where the waves had little or no force, but only rippledand washed with a gentle murmur at Lulu's feet.
The boat was still beyond her reach, but the dear little tot generallymanaged to gain what she wanted, if her own small hands or own smallbrains could bring it about.
"Dere's de wope dat pulls it," she said to herself, and in a momentshe had laid hold of the rope, and drawn the boat in so that she couldstep within it. How she ever did so without falling into the water wasmatter of wonder to all who afterwards heard of it, but a kind Handguarded the baby steps, and she gained the boat without harm.
Here she found enough to amuse her and keep her quiet for a few momentslonger, till Mamie, suddenly rousing to the recollection that Luluwas waiting for her, drew back from her dangerous position and turnedaround.
Where was her little sister?
"Lulu, Lulu!" she called in terrified tones, not seeing her where shehad left her as she started forward.
"Here me are," answered the little voice from the other side of thebreakwater; and, making her way in haste, there she found Lulu deeplyinterested in something at the bottom of the boat, over which she wasbending.
"O you naughty little thing! How did y
ou go there, and how am I goingto take you out?" said Mamie.
"Here's a funny ittle lanimal wants to sate hans wiz me," said Lulu,quite unmoved by her sister's reproaches. "Tome see him, Mamie. Tome inde boat."
"What will mamma say? How can I take you out?" repeated Mamie again.
"Lulu not tome out; dere's de wope, Mamie, pull it, and tome see disfunny fellow," urged Lulu; and Mamie, seeing her coolness, and that shecould herself easily manage to step into the boat by drawing it towardsher as Lulu must have done, lost her fears, and grew anxious to seewhat it was that interested the child so much. Besides, she would haveto get in the boat herself to take Lulu out.
In another moment, it was done; the boat drawn close to thelanding-place, and she had stepped within it as safely as Lulu had done.
"Only for one moment, Lulu," she said. "You were very naughty to comein here, and I must take you out. Oh! oh dear! how it rocks!" as theboat, shaken by her weight, rocked back and forth.
Was it Mamie herself, or innocent little Lulu, on whom the blame justlyrested?
There was another thing which she had forgotten, or rather which shehad not considered, namely, how the boat was to be drawn in again; norhad she observed that the rope, carelessly fastened in the beginning,was slipping farther and farther from its hold upon the stone, as theboat rocked to and fro.
The "funny ittle lanimal" proved to be a very small crab, which wasfeeling about him with his claws, in an uncomfortable manner; and ininquiring into his habits, and "poking him" about the bottom of theboat, several moments passed away.
And as the movements of the children gave a little added motion, thattreacherous rope slid gradually from its stay, and--the boat was loose,and at the mercy of the out-going tide!