Chapter 9:
Gabriele phoned in too ill for work again the next morning and spent the rest of the day in her apartment, preparing for the night with Joshua.
She was nervous; she knew that they had parted on tenuous terms the night before. It would take only one false move and Joshua would have the excuse he needed to break their agreement. She knew also that she had drawn him into emotionally deep water – and that Joshua was floundering and unsure how to navigate his way through the turmoil of his feelings.
Joshua was not the kind of hot-and-cold man who could turn his emotions off or on like a tap. The process was much more arduous for him. He was cursed by a loyalty that transcended even death, and that devotion restricted his freedom to feel for others. Gabriele had become a temptation that challenged him.
Would Joshua continue to resist his instincts through the awesome will of his discipline, or would he finally surrender to the basic desire that boiled in the blood of all men?
Gabriele didn’t know.
But she knew what she wanted and needed. She needed Joshua to take her; to fuck her, and thereby make an emotional and physical claim on her body. If she could draw him across that moral line, then the ground beneath him would crumble, and he would be unable to circle back behind the high wall he was hiding his heart behind. If the emotional and physical bond of sex did not bind them, then at least Joshua would be beyond the borders of his past; caught in a no-man’s land of new feelings.
Then Gabriele would have a fighting chance.
At the moment, Joshua’s memories of his dead wife and his vows to remain detached from her were stronger even than his instinctive desire for her body. She desperately had to change that. Somehow Gabriele had to find a way to encourage Joshua to fuck her… and then to make that experience so powerful and intense for him that he would feel compelled to unshackle himself from his past.
But how?
How could she tempt Joshua to take her; to throw her down on the ground and fuck her with all the restrained desire that she knew was churning inside of him? God knows she had tried! She had practically offered herself to him, panted for him, pleaded to him… and always his resolve and will had won the private war in his heart.
What else could she do?
She had bought the most expensive lingerie she could afford, and she had perfumed and powdered her body until it was scented and glowing with the glossy sheen of her youth. She had willed him with her mind, and she had stood naked and wet before him. She’d had her mouth an inch away from his hard cock, and her pussy also. Joshua had defied her every temptation.
Gabriele prowled around the apartment, her arms wrapped around her shoulders, hugging herself as she thought furiously. Perhaps if she had been more experienced with men, then she would know some feminine secret to make herself irresistible. Perhaps mature men like Joshua were so much harder to tempt than boys like Randall, who thought only with their cock, and thought only about their next fuck. Joshua wasn’t like that, and the realization frustrated her and fascinated her at the same time.
Joshua was a man who was immensely knowledgeable in the world, and highly experienced with women. Gabriele wondered how many other girls just like her had reached out to him for submissive training. A dozen? A hundred? Had Joshua fucked them all as a part of their training process? Had he forced them all to obediently suck his cock and learn to pleasure a man with their mouths, while he stood before them with his hands on his hips and his gaze clinical, feeling nothing?
Had he settled himself between their parted legs and licked them to the brink of orgasm, just as he had done to her?
The more Gabriele thought about Joshua’s submissive training, the more uncertain she became.
Why hadn’t he instructed her on how to suck his cock?
Why hadn’t he bent her over the table and fucked her?
What was wrong with her?
Did Joshua not find her attractive and desirable? Were the other women he had trained more sexually skilled or more experienced with men? Did they present themselves to him more provocatively? Were they more overt in their desire to be fucked?
She threw herself down on her bed in a tantrum of frustration. After two days of rain, the sun was back, high in the sky. It burned through the glass of her window and painted warm bright light across her body. She was still wearing just the panties she had slept in. She clutched at a pillow. It smelled faintly of her shampoo.
Damn you Joshua! Gabriele pounded the pillow into shape with a bitter thump from her fist. Her frustration began to change form; twisting and writhing like smoke until it became like the scratching irritation of insects crawling beneath her skin. Her thoughts drifted away from the dilemma of her uncertainty, and when they re-formed, they were sexual. She fantasized about Joshua with other women; kissing them, sucking on their breasts. Then she saw the vision of Joshua with a beautiful blonde girl. The woman in her mind was the same age as Gabriele, her skin tanned the color of honey, her eyes dazzling blue. She was on her knees before Joshua in the training room, sucking his cock and humming contentedly to herself as her head bobbed back and forth along his thick glistening shaft. Joshua had his head thrown back and his eyes squeezed shut. The blonde girl in Gabriele’s fantasy was calm and composed, pleasuring Joshua with secrets she had learned from the men she had known before him.
Gabriele groaned. She needed to cum, but Joshua still hadn’t given her permission. She slipped a hand down inside her panties anyhow; she was very wet. She could feel the ache and the heat of herself, and just the merest touch of her pussy set aflame the dormant ashes of a fire that had been left untended for far too long.
Gabriele rolled onto her back on the bed and spread her legs. The sun was warm across her breasts. She toyed with her nipples, plucking at them with her fingertips and reveling in the delicious tingles that filtered down into her abdomen.
Her eyes were shut. The vision of the blonde woman filled her mind. The blonde was smiling as she sucked Joshua’s cock, playing the length of his shaft like a skilled musician, and Gabriele hated her; hated her for the sexual skill and ability that she herself lacked. Joshua was groaning, gasping for fresh breath to fill his lungs. Then the blonde let his cock slip from between her perfectly painted lips and turned her head to stare directly at Gabriele.
“A girl will never win this man,” the imaginary blonde confided to Gabriele in a whisper. “He needs a real woman.”
The vision shattered; the blonde faded into swirling blackness. Gabriele opened her eyes. Her hand was deep inside her panties, one finger teasing her clit. She withdrew her hand with a soft sob of aching regret and sat up on the bed, startled.
When Gabriele arrived at Joshua’s home just before 8 pm, she saw lights burning in the upstairs bedroom. She paid off the cab driver and straightened her clothes. She was wearing the black dress again; it clung to her figure and was so short that it had ridden high up her thigh during the journey out from the city. She stood on the sidewalk and tugged at the hem, then went quickly up the driveway to the front door.
Gabriele settled herself on her knees at the front door just as she saw the bedroom light turned off and the interior of the house seemingly plunged into darkness. She heard Joshua’s footsteps echoing through the house, coming towards the foyer.
Gabriele clasped her hands obediently behind her back and opened her mouth. Joshua swung the door open and stared down at her.
He was wearing faded blue jeans that were fitted tight to his muscled thighs and grimy from outdoor work. His shirt was sweat-stained under the armpits and clung damp against his chest. There was a wind-swept tousle to his hair and a shadow of gunmetal blue stubble on his chin and jaw.
“Hello, Master,” Gabriele said softly, her face lifted to his gaze.
Gabriele had spent a fastidious hour on her hair and makeup. She knew she looked as perfect as she could make herself. The dress accentuated every curve and contour, and the white lingerie she wore beneath the garment was she
er and brief.
“Come inside,” Joshua’s face was a mask.
Gabriele rose to her feet and stepped into the warmth of the house on a cloud of intoxicating perfume.
In the foyer she stood silent and waiting. She saw Joshua’s eyes roaming over her body, and she felt secretly thrilled for the attention. She waited with her back straight, feet together like she was standing at attention. At last Joshua nodded his approval, and she let out the breath she had been holding.
She had fretted about these first moments. She had feared that Joshua would reject her; worried that he would be remorseful about agreeing to continue to train her. But Joshua seemed slightly distracted and unprepared. It wasn’t like him at all. Her fear of being sent away was replaced by a little tilt of uncertainty.
“Shall I undress for your inspection, Master?” Gabriele asked with polite indifference – even though his answer mattered very much to her.
Joshua – ruled by his discipline and conventions – nodded his head curtly. Gabriele saw that his hands were raw and scratched.
She unbuttoned the front of the dress and shrugged it off her shoulders then shimmied her hips to let the garment fall in a pool about her feet. She turned to face him, clad in just brief white lace panties and a half-cup bra that lifted her breasts high and exposed her hard nipples.
Despite himself, Joshua’s eyes blazed, and Gabriele delighted in the little victory that showed as smoldering lust in Joshua’s expression.
Joshua ran his eyes over Gabriele’s body, soaking in every inch of her exquisite perfection. She had her legs slightly parted, displaying the enticing gap between her thighs and the soft mound of her sex beneath the gauzy lace. Joshua fought against the hypnotizing allure of her.
“Very good,” he said abruptly. “You have made an effort for tonight. I can see that in your preparation. I am pleased.”
Gabriele bobbed her head. “Thank you, Master. I always like it when you admire me.”
There seemed nothing more to say and they lapsed into a brief awkward silence. Joshua was frowning and Gabriele became bothered. Joshua seemed to have no clear intention for her night’s training.
He seemed to come alert suddenly, like waking from a dream. He ran his hands through his hair. “I’ve been working in the yard all day,” he looked down at his clothes as though in explanation. “There was a lot of damage from the storm that needed to be cleaned up. I’ve only just finished thirty minutes ago.”
“Do you wish me to do something, Master?” Gabriele asked.
“No,” Joshua shook his head. “I’m going up to take a shower. While I’m cleaning up, I want you to spend the time practicing your positions in the training room.”
Gabriele nodded her obedience. “Yes, Master.”
From the training room, Gabriele could hear the soft sound of running water through the walls. The bathroom was on the other side of Joshua’s grand bedroom. She lowered herself to her knees and clasped her hands behind her back.
She knew it was the time when she should be training her mind to stillness, directing all her attention on to the pleasure of her Master. But the sound of the shower was a maddening torment. Gabriele knew what it meant, and the harder she tried to block out the distraction the more dominant it became in her mind.
She was tormented by the fact that just a few yards away from her, Joshua was now stripped naked, standing under the scalding spray of hot water. Gabriele saw the bathroom in her mind’s eye; imagined the pile of Joshua’s sweaty clothes discarded on the floor while he lathered his naked body under suds and spray behind the frosted screen of the shower door. She tried to visualize what he would look like; she knew he was toned and broad chested. And she knew that his arms were muscled. She had seen and brushed her fingers across the flat of his abdomen…
Her good intentions of obedience dissolved into a hot flustered mess of wicked fantasies.
She began to fidget in her position, moving her knees wider apart and then restlessly gripping and releasing the grasp of her hands. She could hear the drumming of her heart in her chest and the soft rasp of her breath. She recognized the sound; it was a dull panting of her own desire.
The sound of running water intensified. Gabriele clenched her teeth and closed her eyes, lifting her face to the ceiling as though beseeching some unknown force for strength. Her prayers went unanswered. The urge to steal a glimpse of Joshua naked was so irresistible that she recklessly surrendered herself to it.
Quiet as a thief, she crept out of the training room and crossed the bedroom to the bathroom door. It was ajar. She pressed her eye to the crack in the door. She could see soft tendrils of steam and hear the hissing water from the shower. She imagined she could see the faintest outline of a dark figure behind the frosted glass, but knew it was merely a fantasy of her wild imagination.
She had to get closer.
She edged open the door, her teeth gritted against every slight sound. When it was barely wide enough for her to slip through, Gabriele crept into the bathroom, crouched and poised with the stealth of a cat.
The bathroom mirrors were a fogged blur. Steam boiled from over the top of the shower recess. Gabriele felt a lump of anxiety and keen desire in her throat. She felt herself beginning to perspire. The bathroom was humid with the heat.
On the floor, emerging from the swirling mist, she saw Joshua’s crumpled shirt. She licked her lips. She took another stalking step towards the shower. Her heart was pounding in her chest, loud as a beating drum.
“Find what you were looking for?” Joshua asked calmly. He was standing behind her – concealed behind the ajar bathroom door, with his arms folded across his naked chest, arms bulging, and his face hard as stone.
Gabriele shrieked with fright and spun on her heel. She felt the blood drain in horror and panic from her face and her mouth fell open on the hinge of her jaw in shock.
She stood, frozen and gasping, caught red-handed.
“Master,” she flustered in wild panic. “I… I thought I heard you call my name. I came in response.”
Joshua arched a mocking eyebrow in disbelief. His eyes were hard, and his mouth was wrenched into an attitude of strict disapproval.
“You’re lying.”
Gabriele lowered her head in shame. The lie had been an impulsive mistake. Now she regretted it and feared the terrible consequences.
“Yes, Master.”
Joshua was leaning back against the wall, but the nonchalant pose betrayed his stern attitude. He drew his eyes over Gabriele’s body again, this time with such blatant sexual lust that Gabriele felt herself shiver. Then, quick as a striking cobra, Joshua’s hand lashed out and caught Gabriele around the throat. His touch was incredibly light, deliberately gentle – but the power behind the gesture made her eyes flash wide.
Joshua pinned Gabriele against the wall, and the set of his face changed from disapproval to leering lust.
“What did you hope to see?” Joshua growled.
Gabriele swallowed hard. Joshua’s fingers around her throat were like nothing more than a loose collar. She felt no pressure; no restriction. He was not choking her. She was choking herself on her own panic.
“Your body, Master,” she confessed. “I wanted to see you naked. You’ve never let me see you before.”
Despite the flutters of her fear, Gabriele was writhing in acute arousal. She could feel her pussy clenching fiercely between her legs and the rush of blood from her head to her loins had left her giddy. The wetness between her clenched thighs felt like a molted flood that soaked through the sheer lace of her panties.
Joshua dominated her by his presence. He was like an avalanche of raw power and muscle, poised over her. Gabriele stood like a beautiful butterfly pinned to a taxidermy board.
“You wanted to see me naked?”
“Yes!” Gabriele blushed. Absently, she noticed a faded tattoo on Joshua’s right bicep. It was the image of an American flag, and below it were printed letters and numbers.
“You wanted to see my cock?”
Gabriele’s eyes dissolved into dark pools of writhing desire. “Yes, Master!” she gushed.
Joshua stood back and reached for the buckle of his belt. Gabriele’s eyes swam with her need. Joshua’s torso undulated with the ripples of his abdomen muscles. He unbuttoned his jeans and hooked his hands into the belt loops. Then he stared fixedly at Gabriele.
“So that itch between your legs is driving you crazy, is it, Gabriele? You’re so fixated with the need to have your mouth and pussy filled with my cock that it’s driving you to distraction?”
“Yes,” Gabriele felt suddenly ashamed.
“After just a few days without an orgasm, you’re twitching between the legs and desperate for sex?”
“Yes,” she sobbed. Somehow she felt like a failure. Her desperate sexual need had driven her to this place, like a drug addict denied the lure of a fix for far too long, she was frenzied by the temptation that had stubbornly remained out of her reach; out of her control to seize.
“You’re weak.”
“Yes,” she hung her head.
Joshua still had his thumbs hooked into the waistband of his jeans. The zipper had been drawn down, and Gabriele realized with a throbbing shock that beneath the denim, Joshua wore no underwear. She could see the pale flesh of his groin and the dark whorls of hair that nested between his legs.
Gabriele was holding her breath with lewd fascination.
Joshua drew down his jeans, and his hard cock sprang from between the denim.
Gabriele widened her eyes and gasped, “Oh, dear God!”
Joshua’s cock was as hard as an iron bar; thicker and longer than she had ever seen on a man before. The shaft was like a brutal weapon, though amazingly beautiful to her – like a great prize to be won. The length of him was ridged and veined, the crown swollen. Possessed by a fascinated spell, Gabriele reached tentatively out for him. Her fingers could not entirely wrap around his thickness.