The sun was just rising as the small tub-like steamer, or, to be morecorrect, steam-barge, the Bulldog, steamed past the sleeping town ofGravesend at a good six knots per hour.
There had been a little discussion on the way between her crew and theengineer, who, down in his grimy little engine-room, did his own stokingand everything else necessary. The crew, consisting of captain, mate,and boy, who were doing their first trip on a steamer, had beentransferred at the last moment from their sailing-barge the Witch, andfound to their discomfort that the engineer, who had not expected tosail so soon, was terribly and abusively drunk. Every moment he couldspare from his engines he thrust the upper part of his body through thesmall hatchway, and rowed with his commander.
"Ahoy, bargee!" he shouted, popping up like a jack-in-the-box, after abrief cessation of hostilities.
"Don't take no notice of 'im," said the mate. "'E's got a bottle ofbrandy down there, an' he's 'alf mad."
"If I knew anything o' them blessed engines," growled the skipper, "I'dgo and hit 'im over the head."
"But you don't," said the mate, "and neither do I, so you'd better keepquiet."
"You think you're a fine feller," continued the engineer, "standing upthere an' playing with that little wheel. You think you're doing all thework. What's the boy doing? Send him down to stoke."
"Go down," said the skipper, grinning with fury, and the boy reluctantlyobeyed.
"You think," said the engineer pathetically, after he had cuffed theboy's head and dropped him down below by the scruff of his neck, "youthink because I've got a black face I'm not a man. There's many a hoilyface 'ides a good 'art."
"I don't think nothing about it," grunted the skipper; "you do yourwork, and I'll do mine."
"Don't you give me none of your back answers," bellowed the engineer,"'cos I won't have 'em."
The skipper shrugged his shoulders and exchanged glances with hissympathetic mate. "Wait till I get 'im ashore," he murmured.
"The biler is wore out," said the engineer, re-appearing after a hastydive below. "It may bust at any moment."
As though to confirm his words fearful sounds were heard proceeding frombelow.
"It's only the boy," said the mate, "he's scared--natural."
"I thought it was the biler," said the skipper, with a sigh of relief."It was loud enough."
As he spoke the boy got his head out of the hatchway, and, rendereddesperate with fear, fairly fought his way past the engineer and gainedthe deck.
"Very good," said the engineer, as he followed him on deck and staggeredto the side. "I've had enough o' you lot."
"Hadn't you better go down to them engines?" shouted the skipper.
"Am I your SLAVE?" demanded the engineer tearfully. "Tell me that. Am Iyour slave?"
"Go down and do your work like a sensible man," was the reply.
At these words the engineer took umbrage at once, and, scowlingfiercely, removed his greasy jacket and flung his cap on the deck. Hethen finished the brandy which he had brought up with him, and gazedowlishly at the Kentish shore.
"I'm going to have a wash," he said loudly, and, sitting down, removedhis boots.
"Go down to the engines first," said the skipper, "and I'll send the boyto you with a bucket and some soap."
"Bucket!" replied the engineer scornfully, as he moved to the side. "I'mgoing to have a proper wash."
"Hold him!" roared the skipper suddenly. "Hold him!"
The mate, realising the situation, rushed to seize him, but theengineer, with a mad laugh, put his hands on the side and vaulted intothe water. When he rose the steamer was twenty yards ahead.
"Go astarn!" yelled the mate.
"How can I go astarn when there's nobody at the engines?" shouted theskipper, as he hung on to the wheel and brought the boat's head sharplyround. "Git a line ready."
The mate, with a coil of rope in his hand, rushed to the side, but hisbenevolent efforts were frustrated by the engineer, who, seeing theboat's head making straight for him, saved his life by an opportunedive. The steamer rushed by.
"Turn 'er agin!" screamed the mate.
The captain was already doing so, and in a remarkably short space oftime the boat, which had described a complete circle, was making againfor the engineer.
"Look out for the line!" shouted the mate warningly.
"I don't want your line," yelled the engineer. "I'm going ashore."
"Come aboard!" shouted the captain imploringly, as they swept pastagain. "We can't manage the engines."
"Put her round again," said the mate. "I'll go for him with the boat.Haul her in, boy."
The boat, which was dragging astern, was hauled close, and the matetumbled into her, followed by the boy, just as the captain was in themiddle of another circle-to the intense indignation of a crowd ofshipping, large and small, which was trying to get by.
"Ahoy!" yelled the master of a tug which was towing a large ship. "Takethat steam roundabout out of the way. What the thunder are you doing?"
"Picking up my engineer," replied the captain, as he steamed rightacross the other's bows, and nearly ran down a sailing-barge, theskipper of which, a Salvation Army man, was nobly fighting with hisfeelings.
"Why don't you stop?" he yelled.
"'Cos I can't," wailed the skipper of the Bulldog, as he threaded hisway between a huge steamer and a schooner, who, in avoiding him, weregetting up a little collision on their own account.
"Ahoy, Bulldog! Ahoy!" called the mate. "Stand by to pick us up. We'vegot him."
The skipper smiled in an agonised fashion as he shot past, hotly pursuedby his boat. The feeling on board the other craft as they got out of theway of the Bulldog, and nearly ran down her boat, and then, in avoidingthat, nearly ran down something else, cannot be put into plain English,but several captains ventured into the domains of the ornamental withmarked success.
"Shut off steam!" yelled the engineer, as the Bulldog went by again."Draw the fires, then."
"Who's going to steer while I do it?" bellowed the skipper, as he leftthe wheel for a few seconds to try and get a line to throw them.
By this time the commotion in the river was frightful, and the captain'ssteering, as he went on his round again, something marvellous to behold.A strange lack of sympathy on the part of brother captains added to histroubles. Every craft he passed had something to say to him, busy asthey were, and the remarks were as monotonous as they were insulting. Atlast, just as he was resolving to run his boat straight down the riveruntil he came to a halt for want of steam, the mate caught the rope heflung, and the Bulldog went down the river with her boat made fast toher stern.
"Come aboard, you--you lunatic!" he shouted.
"Not afore I knows 'ow I stand," said the engineer, who was nowbeautifully sober, and in full possession of a somewhat acute intellect.
"What do you mean?" demanded the skipper.
"I don't come aboard," shouted the engineer, "until you and the mate andthe bye all swear as you won't say nothing about this little game."
"I'll report you the moment I get ashore," roared the skipper. "I'llgive you in charge for desertion. I'll"--
With a supreme gesture the engineer prepared to dive, but the watchfulmate fell on his neck and tripped him over a seat.
"Come aboard!" cried the skipper, aghast at such determination. "Comeaboard, and I'll give you a licking when we get ashore instead."
"Honour bright?" inquired the engineer.
"Honour bright," chorused the three.
The engineer, with all the honours of war, came on board, and, afterremarking that he felt chilly bathing on an empty stomach, went downbelow and began to stoke. In the course of the voyage he said that itwas worth while making such a fool of himself if only to see theskipper's beautiful steering, warmly asseverating that there was notanother man on the river that could have done it. Before this insidiousflattery the skipper's wrath melted like snow before the sun, and by thetime they reached port he would as soon have thought of hitting
his ownfather as his smooth-tongued engineer.
OUTSAILED