Chapter Fourteen - Lisa
It might seem like I already had enough on my mind not to need or want anything else right then.
But somehow I kept thinking about that boy out there in the swamp, and no matter what I did the thought kept nagging at me. I kept wondering who he was and how he got there and I had an almost irresistible urge to go see him and find out all those things.
I’ve learned that sometimes that’s God’s way of telling you to do something, so finally I broke down and went.
I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to find the place at first. There’s a big black oak tree with a red X carved into the bark, right next to the Three State Stone where Texas, Arkansas, and Louisiana all come together, and I remembered having to turn off the highway right past that. But then things got tricky, because there are a lot of snaky little gravel roads back in those woods, and not too many landmarks to help you remember the way.
It took me a while, and I made a few wrong turns along the way, but eventually I found the mouth of a certain muddy track winding its way back into a cypress bog. I hesitated, not sure whether Mama’s car would make it in there and back without getting stuck. It was a lot lower to the ground that Cody’s truck was.
I decided it was better to be safe than sorry, so I parked on the side of the road and walked it, just in case.
A cypress swamp is a surprisingly pretty place, believe it or not. Black water, still as a mirror under the big gray trunks and feathery leaves. It was awfully quiet, except for a bird or two, and the sound of my shoes squelching on the wet ground. It wasn’t quite mud, but it wasn’t far from it.
The only really bad thing was the mosquitoes. They came out of the trees in clouds, and I stayed pretty busy killing them. I’d probably be covered in bites head to toe by the time I got out of there.
It was only about a fifteen minute walk, even with the bugs and having to pick my way around several mud holes big enough to swallow a cow. But finally I glimpsed the old rusty yellow bus through the cypress trunks, and soon came out onto somewhat firmer ground again.
There didn’t seem to be anybody around, but as soon as I got within sight the dogs started barking their heads off. I’m not really afraid of dogs, but I know better than to get too close. So I stopped right where I was and let them bark, waiting to see if anybody would come to see what was going on.
In a minute the door opened, and Brandon stuck his head out. He had his gun with him, I noticed, but when he saw me he set it down.
“Hush, Cut!” he yelled, throwing a stick at one of the dogs. She stopped barking and retreated under the bus, still growling at me now and then. Brandon paid her no mind. He came a step or two closer, then crossed his arms.
“What do you want?” he asked.
I took the chance to really look at him this time; he’d been too far away when I was sitting in the truck. The first thing I noticed was what impossibly blue eyes he had; just like Cody’s, actually. He was tall for his age, and broad and heavy-set, but it was all bone and muscle, not fat. He had a snub nose and pale skin like me, and an almost invisible dusting of freckles across his cheekbones like Jenny has. He was even handsome, in a youngish kind of way. He reminded me very much of what my dad might have looked like at that age, even down to the cherry-red hair.
“What do you keep staring at?” he asked.
“I want to know what your father’s name is,” I told him, just as brusquely. If he wanted to be blunt then so could I. I must have surprised him, because he took a minute to answer me.
“Why?” he finally asked, and since there was no way to sugarcoat it, I didn’t try.
“Because I think you’re my brother, that’s why,” I said. It was a leap in the dark, and I wasn’t totally sure I was right, but I had a strong enough suspicion to want to know the truth.
“No, I don’t have any sisters,” he said, shaking his head.
“Your dad was gone a lot when you were little, wasn’t he?” I asked.
“Yeah, so?” he said.
“Did he like poetry a lot? Tall and red-headed?” I asked.
“Maybe,” he said, still not willing to commit himself.
“Is his name Crush?” I asked, losing patience. I know I always used to think Daddy had the stupidest name on Earth, on a par with those poor unfortunate souls with names like Dusty Rhodes or Virginia Hamm, but now I was perversely glad for it. I was ninety-nine percent sure there couldn’t possibly be more than one Crush Stone in the world. One was more than plenty.
“Yeah, so what if it is?” Brandon said.
“That’s my dad, too,” I told him.
“How do I know you’re not lying?” he asked coolly, and that infuriated me.
“Oh, for pity’s sake! Why would I lie?” I demanded.
“I don’t know; you tell me,” he said, not ruffled a bit.
“Look, either believe me or don’t. I can’t force you,” I said.
“Why do you care, anyway?” he asked. He seemed to genuinely want to know, so I reluctantly sat down on one of the logs nearby and tried to think what to tell him. I knew well enough what he meant by asking. What he really meant was why should he care, and that was hard to answer.
“Because I want my brother to be part of my life, that’s why. I want us to know each other. I want our kids to be able to play together someday. I want all those things families do,” I finally said.
“Why?” he asked.
“Bran, you can keep asking why till the cows come home. All I want is to have my brother back. Is that really so hard to understand?” I asked.
“No, I guess not,” he said softly.
“So tell me, how’d you end up here?” I asked him.
“That’s a long story,” he said, shrugging.
“I’ve got plenty of time,” I said.
“Okay, then, fine. You won’t like some of it, though,” he said.
“Try me,” I said.
“Well, everything was fine till last winter. Then Mama got drunk and hit a tree one night, and they said I couldn’t live by myself. Nobody could find Daddy or Brian, and my aunt didn’t want me. She said I was too much trouble. So they put me in a shelter for a while till they could find somewhere else to send me, but I hated that place. I kept getting in trouble and they finally said they’d have to lock me up if I didn’t settle down. So I got tired of being pushed around and I left one day,” he said. Then he hesitated, like he didn’t want to go on.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Yeah, well, things happen. I didn’t know where to go at first. I knew I couldn’t go home. So I figured I’d have to take care of myself,” he said.
“So what did you do?” I asked.
“Whatever I had to. I took things. I went to parking lots and swiped the change out of cars that people left unlocked. I went to grocery stores and ate food and then left without paying for it. Got in a few fights, had to run from the cops a time or two, stuff like that. I headed south cause I figured it’d be warmer in the winter, so I walked and hitchhiked till I got this far, maybe three months ago. That’s when I found this old place, and it seemed like a good place to set up camp for a while. Nobody’s bothered me since then,” he said.
“But how do you live?” I asked.
“I fish and hunt, and sometimes I pick up cans for money. It’s hard, but I wouldn’t change it. I figure I’ll be grown in a few years and then nobody can tell me what to do. Just have to slug it out till then,” he said.
“That’s brave,” I said.
“What else could I do?” he asked, shrugging.
“Nothing. I would have done exactly the same thing,” I said, wondering if I would have. I guess you never really know what you’ll do until you’re tested, but that’s one test I truly hope I never have to face.
“So, you still want a brother who’s such a screw-up?” he asked.
“Yeah, I do,” I said softly.
He got a litt
le teary-eyed then, and I saw the misery and exhaustion in his face; he was still only a kid, after all, under a lot of pressure and stress. Exactly how much pressure and stress I was just now beginning to understand. I didn’t try to hold him; guys don’t always like that, and I didn’t want to make him mad. He wiped his eyes and got himself back together again pretty quickly, and I pretended I hadn’t noticed.
“Sorry,” he said apologetically.
“It’s okay. You know, Bran, I really don’t think you should stay here. Especially not in the wintertime,” I told him.
“I’ll be fine,” he said fiercely.
“I’m sure you would, but it’d be a lot harder than it has to be. I don’t want you to have to go through that anymore,” I said.
“What else would I do?” he asked.
“I bet Cody and Miss Josie would probably let you stay at Goliad, if I asked them. You could work a little bit, and you could even go back to school. You might not think you want to right now, but it’ll make life a lot easier later on, I promise,” I told him. I was pretty sure what Cody and Josie would say, knowing them as I did. And if they didn’t, then I’d find some other solution. Either way, I had no intention of letting him spend the winter out there.
“No. I don’t need any help,” he said.
“Yes you do, Bran. There’s no shame in that. It’s not like we’re strangers, anyway. You’re my brother. That’s what family is for,” I urged. I could tell how much he hated the idea, but his face softened a little. Finally, reluctantly, he met my eyes.
“I’ll think about it,” he said at last. I could tell that was the best I’d wring out of him that day, so I let it be. He was stubborn as a boot, whatever else he might be.
“All right, then. Think about it. In the meantime I want you to keep this,” I said, handing him my phone number on a piece of paper. I would have bought him a phone, but of course there was no way for him to keep the battery charged out there.
“What’s that for?” he asked.
“If you decide you want to give it a try, call me and I’ll come get you. Or if anything goes wrong, you know. I don’t want you out here with no way to reach anybody,” I said.
“Thanks,” he said.
“I’ll come check on you now and then, either way,” I said. He nodded.
I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek before I left, wishing he didn’t stink quite so much. I guess it’s hard to stay clean when you don’t have any running water, but it’s still nasty.
I walked back to the car not even paying attention to the mosquitoes and the mud anymore. I hoped Bran would decide to let me help him, after he thought about it for a while. But even if he didn’t, I promised myself I’d go check on him as often as I could and make sure he didn’t need anything. I had an uneasy feeling that come winter he’d have a harder time than he thought. But I knew better than to try to force him. He’d just run away again if I did that, and then he’d never trust me again. There are times when you have to use the gentle treatment, like it or not. He was like a wild dog that you had to tame down slowly.
I debated with myself about whether to tell Jenny or not. I didn’t know what she’d think, and I certainly didn’t want her spilling the beans to Mama. It’s not that it was Bran’s fault what Daddy did, of course, but he looked so much like him I was afraid he’d be a constant reminder to her.
But on the other hand, did I really have the right to keep something like this a secret?
By the time I got back to the car I decided there was no reason to say anything immediately. I could always tell Jenny later, but there was no putting the cat back in the bag once I let it out.
I just hoped I was doing the right thing.
Epilogue - Cody
Brandon showed up about week later, walking up the dusty driveway in his bare feet and dirty overalls. I don’t know how he got here from Ravanna; hitchhiked I guess, and walked the rest of the way. Lisa had already told me what she said to him, so I guessed why he was there even before he said anything.
“Lisa said you might need an extra ranch hand,” he said gruffly when he got within earshot. I didn’t smile or let on like it was anything unusual for a not-quite-fourteen-year-old kid to ask such a question. If that’s the way we needed to play it for a while, then that was fine.
“Yeah, as a matter of fact we do. Are you interested?” I asked casually.
“I might be,” he said.
“Well, you’d have to help with the animals and the crops, and do some carpentry and mechanical stuff now and then, and whatever else we need you to do. And go to school and church, of course. But it comes with room and board and fifty bucks a week,” I said.
“That’s not much,” he said, and I almost did laugh then.
“Put in some overtime and you might get a little more,” I said.
“I’ll take it,” he said.
“Good. Glad to have you,” I said, and stuck out my hand. He shook it, and that was that.
I took him up to the main house and turned him over to my mother, who gave him the spare room and sent him immediately to take a shower and put on some clean clothes for a change. She already knew all about the situation too, of course.
“Be careful how you talk to him for a while. Supposedly I gave him a job with room and board and fifty dollars a week to help out around here, so make sure you go along with that. Don’t baby him,” I warned her in a low voice as soon as he was safely out of range.
“Pshaw. I’ll make sure he makes himself useful, no worries about that. There’s no shortage of things he can do around here to earn his keep. But he’s only a kid, and kids need loving, and if he doesn’t like that then he’ll just have to get used to it,” she said.
“I’m sure he will,” I agreed, amused, and then hugged her.
Two years ago, Mama took me and Marcus on a trip out west, mostly to visit the Grand Canyon but also anything else nearby. We ended up going to Zion, Bryce Canyon, and Petrified Forest, and a few other places I don’t remember the names of, all around southern Utah and northern Arizona.
But even though the Grand Canyon is amazing and Bryce is like nothing you’ve ever seen before, we all agreed that Zion is the most beautiful. To stand there staring up at the Great White Throne at sunrise is one of those images that will live in my mind forever. When you first see it, you really could almost imagine that God Himself might sit there at the end of days while heaven and earth fled away at the fire of His eyes and all mankind who ever lived stood silently at His feet while the Book of Life is read. Zion is full of places like that.
Those kinds of thoughts are what led me to buy the only souvenir I picked up during the whole trip. It was a solid glass ball about the size of an apple, with a sprig of preserved wildflowers inside and a caption that read In Beauty be it finished. Proverbs are notoriously slippery things, of course, but I’ll tell you what that one means to me.
There’s a thing called magnanimity, or greatness of heart, and to me it’s the most beautiful thing that ever there was. It means courage, but it’s more than that. It means to cast aside all thought of yourself for the sake of another, like Moses in Gilead or the martyrs who died with a smile on their face. In its own small way it’s a reflection of the Lord Jesus at Calvary, and therefore of God, the Light so beautiful that no one who sees it can ever turn away.
That’s how I’ve always thought of it, at least, and that’s why I keep that glass ball on my shelf where I can see it whenever I go by. To remind me to love without ceasing. Whatever else I may do with my life, I hope I can live it as a light in the darkness, and that Goliad will always be a place of peace for the lost and a refuge for the hurting. In the beauty of love may life be finished; to the glory of God may all things come to completion. That’s my dearest and deepest wish. I don’t talk about it much, and God knows I don’t always live up to it, but it’s still the one thing that I want most of all.
That?
??s why it was never in doubt that we’d give Brandon a place to live, and in my heart of hearts I loved Lisa all the more for asking me. I don’t think she ever knew how irresistibly beautiful she seemed at that moment, and how it was all I could do not to sweep her up laughing into my arms and kiss her till she melted. In fact that’s exactly what I did do after we finished talking that day, and never in my life has a kiss ever tasted so sweet.
I still don’t know for sure what the future holds. There are times when I lie awake at night and wonder how long it’ll be till the next catastrophe strikes. I haven’t forgotten what Brandon said, and I don’t doubt my dreams. I know there’s a storm coming, sooner or later. Probably sooner, if I had to guess.
But for now, the one thing I do know is that I’ll always have Lisa to stand by my side, and I’m certain that no matter what happens, we’ll both be all right as long as we face it together.
And for now, that’s all I need to know.
End of Part One
Part Two
These White Silver Plains