“Violent?” he murmured, echoing her earlier word.
She nodded. “I'm sorry, I just... I can't accept what I saw tonight. It wasn't right.”
He kissed her forehead, leaning his cheek against her. “I will never apologize for protecting you,” he murmured. “And the more you understand werewolves, the more you will see how very right it was. I am not cruel, Maddy, but an Alpha must be strong.”
She nodded, willing to listen, though she wasn't sure if she agreed. Maybe he was right. Maybe she really didn't know how different things were in his world. These were animals they were dealing with, not people with governments and court rooms... the only laws that existed were the laws of the wild.
Or maybe he was playing her for a complete fool.
She didn't really have a choice, either way. She was stuck here with him — nowhere else to go.
A yawn suddenly overtook her, and she realized that she was growing tired. Sleep tugged at her senses, especially now after her body’s release. All of the excitement of the day had taken its toll on her.
“I haven’t let anything happen to you yet, have I?” he asked quietly, and she couldn’t help but smile. That, at least, was true.
“Maybe,” she muttered.
He laughed, a startling sound, rumbling from his chest and into her ear. “Go to sleep, Maddy,” he said.
She wanted to say something more, something to make him answer her questions, to explain this whole process of joining the pack and how they would accept her as a human… but he was right. She really did want to go to sleep. She was frustrated and tired and couldn't keep her eyes open. With a soft sigh, she let the tension run out of her body and curled up against him. She hadn’t gotten any real answers, but at least one thing was true – she was safe, and she knew that as long as she was with him, things would stay that way. He had promised her, hadn’t he?
With that, she drifted off to sleep.
Chapter 11
Gareth slammed the car door with an extra hard shove; it was the only way to get it to shut. Despite its many deficiencies, he loved the old car. He had rebuilt it from the ground up – saved its life, in a way – and it hadn’t let him down yet. Plus he was the only one who knew how to start it.
But he wasn’t at the garage for car repairs. This was the place he was to meet Kane.
It was a familiar spot. He had spent his youth working in the old shop, tuning up cars and changing oil, doing all the other mundane things that apprentices do. The old pack leader, Isak’s father, Devon, had owned the place… but since his death, it had turned over to the new Alpha’s hands. So Kane now owned himself a car garage, though the fool didn’t know anything about cars.
Gareth felt his hackles rising just from stepping foot on the property. It smelled like old pack and a rush of memories assaulted him; the familiar scent of warm bodies and musk, of forbidden comfort.
He already knew where Kane was. He could easily sense the other man’s presence in such a secluded area. He walked behind the old gray building. It was strangely deserted at this time of day, just before noon. Tall evergreen trees lined the parking lot and the back of the garage connected directly to the forest. It made the perfect hideout for wolves.
Kane was standing behind the building now. Gareth turned the corner casually and slid his hands into the pockets of his worn leather jacket. The man standing between the water heater and a heap of junk metal was short and stout with fiery red hair, and had a way of moving that spoke of a quick temper. The man looked up at his approach but didn’t smile. There was no welcoming glint in his cold, hazel eyes.
Gareth had expected as much. “You got my message?” he said, not hiding the smirk on his face.
Kane’s eye twitched, but that was his only reaction. “You better get out of my town before I run you out, pup,” he growled. His canines were extended.
Gareth felt his own teeth lengthen in his mouth, the wolf coming to the surface. He smelled the threat in Kane’s words. “I hoped we could be civil about this,” he murmured back. “You know why I’m here. Tonight’s the full moon.”
“And you dare to challenge me a second time?” Kane’s eyebrow rose. “I figured the last time was enough for you.”
“We both know what happened last time,” Gareth returned. “And as I recall, someone wasn’t playing fair.”
“That’s how it works, pup, or have you not figured that out yet?”
“I’ve figured out quite a few things,” Gareth growled.
Kane glared. There was a hint of Southern accent to his voice. “Alright, so what d'you want? I came out here to meet you. We’re alone, as the laws state. You can’t seriously be considering challenging me, you know what consequences if you lose. You ain’t gonna be going home this time.”
Gareth had known the consequences for a long time now, and the man’s words meant nothing. “I challenge you,” he said, his voice dark. He thought back to Maddy's abduction the day before and almost launched himself at the man's throat. “You threatened my lifemate; therefore, you threatened me. I’ve come to take what’s mine.”
Kane paused for a moment, as though not truly expecting Gareth's determination, then he let out a sharp laugh. His eyes glinted. “What, a puny human girl? And you’re all bent out of shape about it? That’s not the Gareth I knew.”
Gareth had to struggle to stay calm; thinking about what would have happened to Maddy in the basement if he hadn’t arrived in time made his gut churn. He took a threatening step forward and growled, then whipped out the knife that had been tucked in his belt. It was time to get this show under way.
“You’re right, Kane,” he growled, and he held the knife to his own arm. “This isn’t the Gareth you knew. If you know you’re gonna win, then how about you show me in the ring tonight.” And he drew the knife across his arm, blood blooming from the shallow cut, drenching the blade. Then he flipped the knife back and flung it to the ground – it embedded an inch from Kane’s foot. “I challenge you,” he said, “with my own blood. I challenge you for leadership of the pack.”
Kane stared at him for a long moment, and Gareth’s senses flared, the wolf howling within him, dying to Change right there and rip out the man’s throat. But he couldn’t do that, he couldn’t allow himself the pleasure – rules had to be followed, or else he’d lose everything, the pack’s respect and his claim to the Alpha status.
Finally Kane moved. He bent over slowly, tugging the knife from the ground and studying it, running his thumb over the bloody blade. Then he drew it across his own skin, his blood drenching the blade in turn, and flung it back to the ground. It skidded across the packed dirt to bump against Gareth’s boot.
“Challenge accepted,” the man murmured darkly. “It will mean your death, pup. You better be ready.”
“I’ve been ready,” Gareth growled back. Then he picked up the knife and pocketed it. “And Kane, it won’t matter if you use Wolfsbane this time.”
The Alpha didn’t say anything.
Gareth turned and left, zipping up his jacket against the chill wind, his thoughts heavy on his mind. It was the one thing he hadn’t told her yet, and he couldn’t be sure of her reaction. He had promised Maddy that he would protect her, and although he knew that Isak was reliable, he couldn’t be sure of her welfare if he was dead. And that’s what losing this fight would mean. A wolf didn’t walk away twice from a defeated challenge. He would either fight to the death, or be chased down by the pack if he decided to run. He didn’t have a choice anymore. It was everything or nothing.
His thoughts turned to Maddy as he got into his car. Her sounds had been intoxicating when he had pleasured her, and the feeling of her hands on him had driven him close to insane. He knew he had been rough, but it had been the wolf inside of him, begging him to release the fire. With each passing day the moon had been growing more full, and the wolf was getting harder to control. It demanded that he take his mate, claim her as he should have by now, put a permanent mark on her soul. But he
couldn’t use her that way – and besides, her virginity needed to be spent securing her place in the pack. She would probably hate him for the claiming ritual, but he couldn’t tell her about it now; she would never agree to it, and he couldn’t waste the time chasing her down if she decided to run. She would understand once the deed was done. He would ensure that.
He turned onto the main street and headed back to the hotel, wondering if she was awake. She would probably be hungry by now – she had been sleeping when he had left, and it was already past noon. He would take her to an early dinner, and then they would have to prepare for the fight, which would happen once the moon was fully visible. He would tell her the truth then, tell her what he was really risking, and hopefully she wouldn’t be too upset.
He focused on driving, trying not to think too much about the night to come. He would spend these last few hours with her; at least then he’d have something to cherish if the worst came to pass.
* * * *
He hadn't been at the hotel after she had woken up. At first she had been worried, but he had returned within a few minutes, donuts and coffee in hand. She didn’t know why, but she hadn’t been mad at him anymore. She just couldn’t hold onto her grudge; not when he had brought her coffee, almost like a peace offering. Then they had gone to a movie in a small, shabby theater across the street; it only boasted two screens. She had sat next to him in the darkened theater in front of the big screen, holding onto his arm, laying her head against his shoulder. They hadn’t paid much attention to the movie, just sat together, quiet and peaceful.
Now they were at dinner. He had pulled her into a booth, then sat next to her rather than across, trapping her next to the window, as though even in this public place he was somehow trying to protect her. He had ordered steak, she had ordered pasta – she had never seen him eat anything other than meat, probably another werewolf trait. The food was growing cold now though. She had eaten some of the plate but was too anxious to finish.
“You’ll need your strength tonight,” he said, indicating her hardly-touched plate.
“You’ll need yours more,” she replied, trying to keep the sadness from her voice. He hadn't told her that the official "challenge" had been issued – it had been written all over him when he had appeared that morning, coffee in one hand and car keys in the other. She had seen the blood on the knife that he carried. She didn't know exactly what had happened, but she remembered snatches of the conversation yesterday with Isak – tonight would be the fight. It was the full moon, after all. She didn't know exactly what the fight would entail, only that it was something beyond her imagination. She felt overwhelmed; everything was moving so fast, she barely knew how to react or what to think. Tomorrow was something she didn’t want to consider.
Gareth sighed, glancing at the clock. She could tell he was tense; his leg kept twitching and his shoulders had their familiar stiffness. She wanted to massage it out of him, though now wasn’t the time.
“You’ll do fine,” she said, trying to reassure him and break the tense silence. “No pressure, okay? Don’t feel like you have to do this for me or anything, we can always go home. Well, maybe not, I don't know. But if you lose then life will just go back to the way it’s always been, right?” She smiled, trying to be positive. He didn’t respond immediately, so she kept going; she was probably rambling but not knowing what else to do. “You have a life in Black River too, you know. We’ll just go back there and I’ll go to school and you’ll have your car shop, and we’ll just be happy, alright? No big deal.”
He let out a heavy breath, pushing away his plate. “As much as I like that you’re planning our life out,” he said, “it’s not all that simple.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Alright, then how is it?”
He was silent again, thinking, and his hand traveled to land on her knee. It seemed to be its favorite resting place. He squeezed slightly. “There’s something you should know,” he finally said.
She sighed, impatient. “Okay, what?”
“It’s about the fight.” She didn’t like the shadow in his eyes, and something inside of her grew nervous. “There’s no walking away for me if I lose.”
“What do you mean?” She hated the way her voice quivered.
“A wolf doesn’t challenge a pack leader twice without some kind of consequence,” he said slowly. “If I lose… either I’m already dead, or they will kill me.”
“They will….” Her eyes widened. His words rang in her head in an odd way, echoing. She couldn’t make her brain process the information. “You mean… like dead, dead? Kill you?”
He was studying her closely, gaging her reaction. “It’s werewolf law,” he murmured. “It’s too dangerous to let a lone wolf go free if he has challenged the Alpha more than once. It’s just the way things are.”
“You didn’t tell me….” Her voice was hushed. She sat back after a moment, thinking about his words, and turned to look out the window. Dead. As in, this could be their last meal together. This could be the last few minutes they had before she watched him get torn to pieces, shredded and chewed up like the bodies in her cabin. It made her want to vomit. Despite her past frustration with him, the idea of being without him terrified her. How was she supposed to take this?
He was waiting for her reaction. She didn’t know what to say, but she knew her response would be important; it could make or break the battle to come. With a sudden moment of clarity, she realized how vulnerable he must be right now. He needed to know that she was on his side, that she would stand by him. He was doing this for her, wasn't he? It was obvious in the way he continued to hold her leg. The searching look in his eyes. She slid her hand over his.
“Well, we don’t have to worry about that,” she said bravely, turning to smile at him. “Because you’re going to rip his throat out, right? Just for me?”
He looked at her, and she couldn’t tell if he was surprised, but suddenly he smiled. His teeth glinted. It made her heart flutter. “Just for you,” he murmured. Then he leaned forward and lightly kissed her, though even the light touch stirred the embers of arousal. She had woken up horny and stayed that way the entire day, devouring every touch they shared. By the way he looked at her, she knew he felt it too, but somehow he was acting extra in-control. At times the tension coming off of him was like a wave, a palpable force of high-strung energy. The change was subtle, but grew stronger with each passing hour. She wondered if it had something to do with his werewolf nature and the full moon rising.
“Something you should know, though,” he continued after a moment. “Isak, as my Beta, is charged with your care if anything should happen to me. He will see that you’re safe.”
Maddy frowned. “The pack won’t come after me next, will they?”
“They shouldn’t, but I wouldn’t trust Kane. If anything does happen… go back to Black River and stay alert until everything blows over. You should be safe once you're off pack territory, but caution is always a plus.” He hesitated for a moment. "Take my car if you have to."
Maddy nodded. At the thought of returning to Black River without him, her stomach dropped, leaving her feeling sick and empty. All that awaited her back in town was an abusive stepfather and dead-end future. The only thing that had made her life worth living up to this point was seeing Gareth at the hardware store, or on their nighttime rendezvous. Without him, there would be no point in going to Black River at all. She might as well hop a bus to the nearest bridge and throw herself off of it.
“Hey,” he said suddenly, and tipped her chin up, making her look in his eyes. “No tears, okay? I hate seeing you cry.” And she realized then that she was crying, just a little, a tear sliding down her cheek. She was horrified, heartbroken. How could they be saying goodbye so soon? How could she go on without him?
He pressed his lips against hers with such painful gentleness that it made her want to cry even more. His mouth was warm and she kissed him back, wondering if this was the last time, their final moments before
his destruction. And it was all her fault. She had pushed him to do this. If only he had told her the consequences sooner….
He broke the contact slowly, letting it wind down into a lazy brush of lips. “We should be going soon. The site is on the other side of town, and it’s good to know the area before a fight.”
She nodded, forcing herself to smile up at him, not to cry. He kissed the tip of her nose, a small show of affection, then ruffled her hair. “Trust me,” he said quietly to her. “No matter what happens tonight, you have to trust me, promise?”
She nodded again. “Of course. Promise.”
He squeezed her hand, engulfing it in his own large palm, then slid out of the seat, helping her to her feet. She could see a few heads turn to look at them as they walked out, hand in hand, his motions obviously possessive. She wondered if it was the age difference that people stared at, or her disheveled appearance, or maybe just the pure power of the man who walked next to her. She didn’t care either way.
They stepped out of the door and walked to the Camaro. Only a few hours left. She had to make them count. Her mind was racing as he opened the door and she slid into the passenger seat, then he got in beside her, sitting for a moment behind the wheel. Her heart began to pound as wild ideas flowed through her, intensifying the heat in her body, making her skin prickle. The silence grew with unspoken words until finally she turned to him. She had made up her mind. If there was no going back after tonight, then she wanted all of him, everything he had to give. She was not going to waste her last few hours of happiness.
“I want you,” she said, looking at him, studying his tan, lean form.
His head turned and he stared at her, his green eyes widening slightly in surprise. “What?”
“I-I want you,” she said again, forcing the words out even as the blush grew in her cheeks. She tried not to feel embarrassed saying it. “If this is going to be our last time together, then I want it to count. I… I’ve never had sex before, but I don’t want to waste this. I have to tell you Gareth, I’ve always… I’ve always….” The words caught in her throat, but she swallowed hard, making herself talk. “I’ve always wanted you, okay? Ever since I was young, I waited for those nights when you would come to me in the forest, for those days you would come by the hardware store, though we never even spoke. I used to walk by your house, just to see if you were outside, or maybe inside, watching TV in your living room or sleeping or whatever it is you do… if I had known where you worked, then I would have gone there too.” She kept looking at him, staring into his eyes, hoping he would understand exactly what it cost her to lay these things out in the open. “I think I love you, Gareth.”