“I’m fine.” My headache was mostly gone, but I wasn’t going to risk it coming back.
“You didn’t eat much.”
“I didn’t eat breakfast until a little after nine.” Shrugging, I used my fork to push some of the food around on my plate and, because he was watching, I scooped up another bite of pasta and took another bite.
It was delicious, the sauce exquisite and if I could have made myself eat more, I would have cleaned the plate. But I wasn’t hungry. I was nervous.
“Perhaps we should have waited until later.” Edward covered my hand with his.
“No.” I turned my hand around and twined our fingers together. “This is fine.”
We’d ended up at a quiet little Italian place, early enough that the lunch hour rush hadn’t really started.
“Would you like to order some dessert?” He was already lifting a hand to flag down a server.
“No.” I found myself having to fight not to snap at him. He was practically hovering at my elbow. I guess he was just feeling guilty after last night, but it was grating on my nerves. And that just made me feel even worse for it annoying me.
“So tell me about the job.”
“The job?” I jerked my head up and found him watching me, his eyes all but glowing. Panic fluttered inside me. “I…”
“Nervous?”
“Oh…oh, yeah.” Realization slammed into me and I rolled my eyes. “I’m very nervous.” I couldn’t even explain just how nervous I was. “I can’t really talk about it though.”
“Why not?” He frowned at me.
Maybe thinking on my feet wasn’t my gift, but I was getting better at it. “Well, it’s a writing thing. I’m doing some writing for a celebrity, but my name is all being kept out of it. I had to sign a non-disclosure and everything just to get the job.” I blew out a breath and shot a look at him. “So, I…well, I can’t really talk about it, but it's a great job and much better pay.”
He lifted a hand. “Say no more. I’m not at all familiar with the writing world, but I understand the terms of an NDA. Congratulations. I’m proud of you.”
Heat flooded my cheeks, but it came from guilt rather than embarrassment at the praise. I’d lied.
He’d believed me.
I lied to him and he believed me.
“Here…we can talk about this instead.” He withdrew a narrow, leather bound notepad. “We need to start talking about the wedding…setting a date, making plans.”
A strange sensation clutched my stomach and I stared at him.
Plans… “Yeah. I guess we do need to start making plans.” I didn't mention that I'd been hoping we'd have a bit longer engagement than we'd had dating. It was all happening so fast. I reached out and touched the notepad he’d placed on the table. “What’s this?”
“Some notes, a little bit of information. Certain people that will have to be invited to the wedding.” He smiled. “I’ve got the name of several wedding planners who come highly recommended.”
I was happy to see that my fingers weren’t shaking as I opened the neat little palm-sized notebook. It was a pretty small notebook. It couldn’t be that bad, right?
Moments later, I was about to lose what little food I’d eaten.
That pretty small notebook was all but full. The list of people who had to be invited? There were double columns of names that took up the front and back of each page for more than half of the notebook. The rest of it? Notes on how many people I should expect to have in attendance...just from his side.
My eyes rounded when I saw the notation: plan for six hundred guests.
“Well, I guess a small wedding is out of the question, huh?” I managed to smile at him when I looked up.
“The Bouviers don’t really do small when it comes to formal events.” He grinned at me.
“You know, my parents got married on the beach in Florida. Mom was barefoot. She looked beautiful.” I looked back down at the notebook and didn't even mention the fact that there was no way in hell my parents could pay for even a fraction of the kind of wedding I saw here. “Somehow I don't think that's in your notebook.”
We ended back up at his place…and I ended up naked and stretched out on the floor.
His hands slid down my body. I sighed in pleasure as he lifted my hips and pressed his mouth to my core. He nuzzled me through my curls and pleasure slashed through me when his tongue flicked out and he licked me. I gasped as he circled his tongue over me and then slowly slid it inside, lapping and drawing me closer and closer to the edge.
When I was hovering right there, he came down over me and spread my legs, settling between them as if he belonged there, made to fit me perfectly.
“Look at me, darling,” he whispered against my lips. I tasted myself there and moaned, rising up to kiss him again, deeper and harder. He slid inside me and it was sweet and lazy and easy.
His cock stretched me and filled me, all pleasure and no pain. I'd been a bit sore from earlier, but he'd more than prepared me now, his tongue having eased the ache, replacing it with a different sort of throbbing.
I brought my knees up and curled them around his hips, arching up and shuddering, urging him on. Catching one of his hands, I guided it to my breast, needing him to touch me.
He dipped his head and I cried out as he caught one nipple in his mouth, scraping it with the edge of his teeth, tugging, tugging, tugging until it was throbbing and pulsating in time to the driving rhythm of his hips.
I tangled my fingers in his hair, arching closer. I could feel each ridge of his cock, the swollen vein, the pulsations running through it and it was driving me mad. My pussy clamped down around him when he pushed in and then held there, right there, grinding against me and my clit, already so sensitized. I tensed, ready for that last nudge to push me over the edge.
He caught my chin, craning my head upward.
“Open for me,” he whispered against my lips, teasing my mouth.
“Edward…”
He rolled his hips as his tongue stole inside, and when I started to climax, he swallowed my broken moan down until his own joined it.
“I missed this.”
Edward wrapped his arms around me later that night and tugged me up against him until my back was snug against his chest. I put my hand on his forearm and stroked it in response. The muscles under his tanned skin were strong, defined.
“You know I’m sorry about the party. I didn’t…well, I can’t undo it. But I didn’t want you to feel abandoned. I knew Cody was with you and I had obligations. I didn’t think you’d be comfortable with some of the people I’d be talking to. I didn’t realize how it would make you feel, handling it the way I did.”
I turned my head to the side and pressed my lips to his chin. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not—”
“It’s done.” Snuggling more comfortably against him, I didn’t fight the yawn that came out, threatening to crack my jaw. “I didn’t sleep well without you last night. I’m tired.”
He didn't press the matter, responding to my not-so-subtle request to let it go. As he drifted off to sleep, I lay there, staring off into the darkness.
We’d started talking wedding plans.
I was wrapped in the arms of a wonderful man.
I should be happy.
So why wasn’t I?
Ten
“Wow. You’re up early. I thought you were working from home this week.”
“I am.” I slid into the chair at the desk and fired up my laptop, glancing up as Kendra emerged sleepy-eyed from the bathroom. “I’ve got…” I grimaced before telling her. “I’m doing some more modeling for Flynn.”
She stopped in her tracks, staring at me. “Does Edward know?”
“No.” I gave her my best pleading expression. “Please don’t tell him.”
“Gabs, this is just going to lead to trouble. You already know what a player Flynn is. Shit, he’s probably just doing this to try to get back in your pants!”
“Give me some credit.” I rolled my eyes at her before looking down at the screen to pull up my email. I’d notified my boss via email last night of my decision to quit, along with the two assignments I’d managed to finish. Hopefully having them done promptly would make her a little less maniacal as she processed my resignation.
Her response was in my inbox.
I gaped when I saw the subject line.
“That bitch!” I breathed out.
“What?” Kendra paused in the rant I wasn't listening to, to come look at me.
“I quit my job with the she-dragon.” I pointed to the screen. “I told her I’d work out my two weeks—longer if she needed an extra week or so to get somebody in—but she just emailed me back and told me I was fired in the subject line. She didn’t even bother to add anything in the text of the email.”
“Why did you quit?” Kendra's eyes narrowed.
“Because I’m getting paid better with Flynn and this way I won’t have to cram it all in early in the morning or make up excuses in the evening when I could be with Edward.” I shrugged.
“So you’ll just lie about what you do for a living?”
Guilt twisted in me, but I shoved it down. “Kendra—”
“This isn’t like you!” she shouted. “You’re making up stories and hiding things from the guy you’re supposed to be in love with. What gives, Gabriella?”
“It’s a better paying job and it makes me happy.” I snapped my laptop shut and stood up, glaring at her. I was really getting tired of her questioning my decisions when I'd never done anything but be supportive of hers, no matter how bad they'd been. “My boss has done everything but shit on me ever since I started working for her. She’s taken ideas that were mine and pawned them off as her own. She makes fun of me, the way I talk, the way I dress. I hate it there but I couldn’t find anything else. Now I have. It pays better and it’s fun. What’s so wrong with that?”
“Two things.” Kendra held up a hand and ticked off a finger as she listed her reasons, her eyes flashing. “Again…you’re lying to your fiancé, that’s one. And the second thing? It’s Flynn. He already used you once. Why are you setting yourself up to be hurt by him again?”
“I’m not!”
Somebody slammed something against the floor below us and we heard a distant shout. “Shut up already!”
Sucking in a breath, I forced myself to be quieter. “He was perfectly behaved during the last shoot. This is business, Kendra. Just business.”
“You sure about that?” She arched an eyebrow.
“Yeah.” I crossed my arms. “Hell, the way you’re acting, I’d almost think you’re pissed off that he asked me to be his model instead of you.”
She sneered. “Not even close. But fine…fuck it. I won’t be worried that my best friend is going to screw up her life.”
She strode past me into the kitchen.
I had to fight tears as she clanged her way through making coffee.
Yeah, I decided. Maybe Kendra was right. Fuck it.
“Come on, Tennessee. I need you to flirt with the camera a little more. Pretend I’m Edward or something.” Flynn’s voice was brusque.
I tried not to think about it as I concentrated on relaxing my spine and letting Cody ease me back into what felt like a ridiculously awkward position. His hand rested high on my hip, almost cupping my butt, but not quite. His other arm was around my spine, steadying me. I closed my eyes and let my head fall back.
Flirt with the camera…
I imagined the dark head bent over my breasts didn’t belong to a gay man who had no sexual interest in me whatsoever, but that it was lighter hair...
Pretend…
“That’s it.”
I heard the whine of the camera, heard Flynn moving around, while in my mind’s eye, I was imagining something else entirely.
Tension slammed into me because the fantasy shifted on its own—and it wasn’t Edward taking center stage in my daydream.
“Okay, take a break,” Flynn called out just as I started to wobble.
“You okay there?” Cody asked softly as he brought me back to stand flat on my feet.
“Yeah.” I managed a weak smile. “This has just been…intense.”
“You get used to it.” He gave me a playful tug on my hair and then gestured to his brother. “Of course, it would help if somebody would yank the stick out of his ass.”
“Bite me, Cody,” Flynn said, his gaze focused on the camera. Studying the images, I knew.
Cody just shook his head and looked back at me. “So have you started looking for a dress? You said that you're talking dates and everything. Looking at next summer? Spring?”
“I don’t know.” Trying to keep my voice casual, I shrugged. I honestly didn’t know if I could handle this tension for that long. I'd thought I wanted to slow it down, but the more I considered it, the more it freaked me out. Months of panicking over a wedding? Over six hundred guests...
“You and Edward are going to get a wedding planner, right?”
I sighed, not wanting to admit how much that bothered me. I'd always imagined planning my own wedding. Going over things with my mother, with Kendra... “Yeah.”
Cody kissed my forehead. “Trust me. You’ll be glad. You’ll need the planner to run interference with my mother and let me look at the people you’re considering. I know some people in that area. I might be able to tell which people to avoid. There are some who’ll just bend over to kiss Mom’s ass, and you'll want someone to back you.”
“Okay, if you’re done talking weddings…” Flynn said sourly. “How about you grab some water and then help me get the backdrop into position, Cody?”
Cody mouthed, He needs to take out that stick.
I coughed to cover up my laugh.
I got a text from Edward a little after one. Guiltily, I realized it wasn’t the first one. I quickly replied.
Got caught up with work. Sorry!
Flynn passed by my shoulder just as Edward’s response came through and I heard him snort. “Would you mind your own business?”
“Sure thing, Tennessee. Make sure he knows the big bad city hasn’t eaten you alive without him at your side.” He gave me a look of mock concern. “You wouldn’t want him calling in the National Guard.”
I flipped him off and then looked back at the text.
It’s okay. I was just worried. Is it your new job that you’re working on? Have you heard back from your boss about your resignation?
I told him that I had, and that she’d fired me.
His response was pithy enough to make me smile.
Call me when you’re done working for the day. We can get some dinner on the way home.
I told him I’d call him and let it go at that. I still wasn't sure how I felt about him referring to his place as home.
Then I turned back to watch Flynn and Cody wrestle the mattress into position under a different set of lights. Had Kendra been right? Should I just tell Edward what I was doing? Logically, I knew the answer, but I also knew he wouldn’t be happy. But I needed to pay my own way in life. I had to.
I knew he couldn’t understand that though. I doubted I could get him to understand the thrill I got standing in front of the camera either. I was just barely starting to understand it myself, although I had an idea just why this appealed to me so much.
I felt seen.
I’d always just been lost. I came from a big family and looking back now, I knew it was just in my head that I felt less important than my older siblings and not quite as loved as my younger ones. My parents loved all of us and I knew that. But this attention fed that part of me that had gone unnoticed as the quiet, middle child…the one who never got in trouble, the one who’d just never really been noticed. I knew it wasn’t just Flynn’s attention because when he’d told me that the client had loved my pictures, it had been one of the biggest thrills of my life.
And I didn’t want to give that up.
But I knew Edward wouldn??
?t understand, and I was afraid I’d give it up because I loved him.
“Not bad, Tennessee.”
That tone of his voice was almost normal and I looked up at him hesitantly as I zipped up the duffel bag I’d brought with me. It had a spare change of clothes in it and toiletries in case I needed to shower. Modeling was hot, sweaty work, something I was slowly coming to realize.
“Thanks,” I said softly.
He jerked a shoulder in a shrug, glancing casually down the hall where Cody was still in the bathroom before turning back to me, a bit of a sneer in his words. “Edward bought you some nice apartment in Manhattan yet? Get you out of that hovel you live in?”
“My place isn’t a hovel,” I snapped. The words stung. I’d thought…
What had I thought?
Sucking in a breath, I faced him, drawing my shoulders back. We didn’t have the nicest history, no, but I hadn’t realized he’d be like his mother. I didn’t think he would look at me and see a gold digger.
“I’m not with your brother because I want anything from him,” I said with as much patience as I could muster. “No, he hasn’t gotten me a new apartment. I don’t want him to. I’m not after his money.”
“Didn’t think you were,” Flynn said as he came a little closer, peering at me like he’d never seen me before, studying me.
I had the feeling he was trying to figure me out, but I couldn’t understand what was so confusing.
“See, the thing is, Tennessee, Edward can’t appreciate you for who you are.” Flynn spoke as if what he was saying was nothing complicated. Simply news that I should already know. “He’ll put you in a bubble if you let him, and he’ll do it because he loves you and he thinks that he’s doing what’s right by protecting you, taking care of you. He doesn’t think his princess belongs in some rent-controlled apartment. She ought to be in a penthouse out near Central Park.”
I looked away, refusing to admit he might be right.
His warmth reached out to tease me and I looked at him. I hadn't realized he’d closed even more of the distance between us. Now, with a faint smile on his lips, he leaned in.