“What is it?” I asked, starting to feel frightened about what it was to make him act so odd.
He gripped my hand before sitting down on the couch and pulling me down with him. He looked so serious it was making me nervous. Then he said, slowly, “I think we should try to make this marriage work. I don’t know how to explain it, but waking up in that hospital, all I could think about was where you were. There’s something inside me that wants to make sure you’re safe and sound and I don’t think I can do that if we separate at the end of the school year.”
I looked at him in disbelief, thinking that whoever hit him across the head had caused some serious brain damage. This wasn’t the same guy from a few days ago who gave me the cold shoulder whenever we were in the privacy of his home. “Brandon, I don’t know. That’s a huge commitment that I’m sure neither of us is ready for.”
“I know that Kami, but after you fell asleep in my arms in the hospital, I knew I wouldn’t be able to relax until I was able to see for myself that you’re safe. Ever since that night I found out the truth, I knew I couldn’t walk away from you and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to, even after graduation. Just think about it please,” he tried to explain, making me question if we could make this marriage work like it did for his parents.
I looked into his warm brown eyes and realized he had been trying to change his ways since we had been together. He hadn’t been with any girls since then and had kept his word on being faithful to me. However, I was still unsure about staying married to him. “Brandon, are you saying this just so you can take me to bed?” I found myself asking.
This made him laugh and shake his head. “Yes, Kami,” he answered, but when he saw how my eyes popped out, he quickly added, “But not in the way you’re thinking. I want to be able to lie down at night with you in my arms and not worry about you freaking out because we are touching. When you had laid down on my chest and I wrapped my arms around you at the hospital, that was the first time you didn’t flinch but felt more relaxed. I want to feel that every night from now on.”
I shook my head at him. “Brandon, yes, I admit I’ve gotten used to being in your embrace in the short time of knowing you, but I don’t think that’s enough to make this marriage work. And what happens when you find the girl that you truly want to be with but you’re still married to me? Then what?”
“Kami, have you not noticed? I haven’t even looked at another girl since we’ve been married. Even with Jasmine, who was trying to throw herself at me, I simply pushed her away. You’re the girl I want to get to know and I want to make this marriage work.” He gave me a small smile, peeking over at the hall before looking at me. “I also want to show my parents that I’m not going to turn into my father and that I can do something good with my life and not just be in trouble all the time.”
I furrowed my forehead in confusion. “Wait. You want to do this to prove something to your parents? Brandon, that’s no reason to stay married to someone. If you want to prove you’re a better person, then do it. That doesn’t mean you need to be tied down to me.”
“That’s not it,” he insisted in frustration as he stood up. “Did you ever stop to think why I watched you all this time? Has it ever crossed your mind that I might just like you and wanted to talk to you, but was too scared to see how you would react?” I looked up at him, thinking that he had just confessed his feelings for me. “I know you have second guessed this whole marriage thing from the beginning, but I haven’t. This was the best idea I’ve ever done.”
“Brandon, calm down, please,” I said, not liking a bit how his temper was starting to rise. “Yes, I do second guess this marriage because I thought you felt I was holding you back. I didn’t know you had real feelings for me.”
“Now you know. I don’t think this marriage is a mistake and that I do have feelings for you, and that’s besides wanting to keep you safe,” he admitted, sitting back down next to me. “Just think about it, please. I’m not going to push you into something you’re not ready for. All I want is a chance to show you I do care and want to try to make this true.”
“Okay, I’ll think about it,” I answered, leaning over and kissing him on the cheek. “Thanks.”
He just gave me a smile before getting up and turning on a movie as we sat down into one another’s arms, waiting for dinner to be finished.
Halfway through the movie, we were still locked in one another’s embrace when we were called in for dinner. Walking into the dining room, I saw someone I wasn’t in the mood to deal with: my father, along with his new bride. Even though she hadn’t done anything to hurt me, I still blamed her for my father disappearing from my life.
“What is he doing here?” I asked, as we took our seats across from them. “Shouldn’t you be off on your honeymoon?”
“Yes, but we decided to wait to make sure you’re okay before we leave,” his wife answered, smiling at me. “We’ve been worried about you ever since we found you both unconscious on the beach. I’m so sorry we didn’t get to you both sooner.”
As she spoke, I felt Brandon grip my hand from under the table, as if he was trying to help me forget my anger I was feeling at the moment.
I couldn’t help saying coldly to them, “Well, as you can see we’re just fine. No need to worry. Now you can disappear once again and not worry about my whereabouts.” I kept my eyes on my father, who was also giving me a cold stare.
“Disappear?” his wife asked, looking puzzled. “What are you talking about, sweetie?”
I let out a little laugh at how she didn’t know the truth about my relationship with my father. “You don’t know that he just vanished and left me after my grandmother died, to be raised into a life of hell?” I asked her. “Oh and don’t call me sweetie. I’m not your child.”
That must have infuriated my father, because he stood up in anger, causing his chair fall behind him. “No, but you are mine. I won’t sit here and let you talk to us this way.”
I was seeing a different side of the father I knew when I was young. This one was cold hearted and I wanted nothing to do with him. “Really? Well, you should have thought about that before you walked out on me.”
His wife looked up at him and held his arm. “Honey, let it go. You’re losing the fight with her and it’s obvious you forgot to tell me that you abandoned her,” she said, sounding upset about this little bit of information.
I sighed and looked down at my plate, then at Brandon, who was smiling at me. I knew I should have felt ashamed for acting the way I did, but I wasn’t going to let this man walk back into my life and try to control me again.
When my father calmed down and picked his chair back up, the rest of the dinner was quiet besides Mrs. Mitchell and my father’s new wife talking. The latter was saying how they were planning to move back here and all I could think was, ‘Great! I have to deal with seeing my father more now.’ All I wanted at the moment was a quiet and simple life till graduation, but it seemed that my life was far from simple.
After dinner, Brandon and I excused ourselves and went to our room. When Brandon closed the door behind us, he started laughing. “That was great. That's the person you need to be all the time. Forget what everyone else thinks.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked, wrapping my arms across my chest.
“The way you told your father off.” He laughed some more as he walked over to me, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me to him. “Just think of that when someone starts picking on you and just let it go. Tell them what you really think, because right now everyone thinks you’re just the shy quiet girl. I want them to know that my girl is a badass just like her husband.”
“Your girl?” I repeated, raising an eyebrow at him and wondering when he started thinking that way. I’ve heard him call me his wife, but never his girl.
“Yes, my girl. I decided that I’m going to show you my true feelings, even if you want to keep yours locked away. I know that the more I show you about myself, the mo
re you might open up to me,” he answered while looking down at me. “I know it’s going to be hard, but I like a little challenge in my life and when I put my mind to something, I never lose. Just wait. You’ll be falling for me sooner or later.”
“Ok, Mr. Bad Boy, but I’m not the type to easily give in, if you haven’t noticed.” I laughed and pushed away from him.
He looked hurt that I moved out of his hold, but he had a dangerous look in his eye at the same time. Before I could ask what he was thinking, I was tackled to the bed with him leaning over me.
“I have noticed,” was all he said before he kissed me softly on the lips. His lips were soft against mine as they moved in sync. He started to nibble against my bottom lip. I opened my mouth so our tongues could dance together. I tangled my fingers in his hair, pulling slightly and making him grunt, but only to deepen the kiss.
I moved out of the kiss after a while, needing air, only to have him go kissing along my neck. I didn’t understand what he was making me feel at the moment, but I knew I couldn’t get enough and I wanted more. But I could tell he wasn’t pushing it since his hands stayed in my hair. I started to rub my hands down his back and up again, which made him moan into the kiss he was placing along my collarbone.
A few seconds later, he stopped and looked down at me. “Not the type to easily give in, huh?” he laughed. “But I think we need to stop or we’re going to end up doing something that I know you’re not ready for.” That was when I became aware of his manhood pressing up against my inner thigh. I just nodded my head in understanding as he rolled off me.
I got off the bed and walked over to where I normally sleep, pulled the covers back and got into bed. As I was snuggling into my soft bed, I felt Brandon pull me to him. “Night, Kami. Please think about what I said about making this marriage work.”
I didn’t say anything as I snuggled up closer to him. I was thinking how I would let everything that happened in my past go so that maybe I could have a better future with Brandon. That just because my father had abandoned me, didn’t mean Brandon was going to when he was there for me in my darkest hours of need. Before closing my eyes, I knew I couldn’t let what my father did to me, affect my happiness in the end.
13
As the weeks went by, so did the first month. It felt as though all the drama that had revolved around us getting married had died down as well. Brandon was becoming more and more affectionate toward me as the weeks went on and always found a way to make me laugh. People at school had started a rumor saying he was whipped and had become soft, but that shortly went dead when Brandon overheard someone talking about it, which just made me laugh. He was becoming someone I could rely on and I felt myself becoming closer to him as the weeks passed, even though I still had my guard up.
As the second month of our marriage started, my father showed up more. His new wife, Emily, and he had found a small house on the other side of town. When they come over for dinner every now and then, Brandon would pull me back into the hall and yell that we were going out to eat and that we would see them later. When I had asked Brandon why he did that, he simply put, “I don’t want you seeing him change your way of seeing me.”
How he figured out I was comparing him to my father, I never understood. I knew the more time I spent with Brandon, the more I was able to see the side of him that most other people don’t know about. Even though I could feel myself falling for Brandon, I was still scared that one day, he would turn his back on me, just as my father did. My whole life, any man who was a part of it either left me or abused me, and this frightened me of the possibility of getting close to Brandon, who had shown me how much he cared for me and wanted to keep me safe.
At times when we were sitting in our room with me doing homework and him watching television, his phone would ring. I would look at him and he would simply look at me before tossing it down next to him. One day when I asked him about who it was, he simply said it was his friend Jake asking him to go racing. I laughed at it. I remembered when he raced his father to the wedding and almost had us killed in the process.
A little more time went by and I got more comfortable being in Brandon’s embrace and didn’t quite flinch when he pulled me to him as we went to sleep. Sometimes I lie there thinking about taking the marriage further, but I would dismiss the idea when my stepfather’s face came to mind. Would that afternoon, so many weeks ago haunt me for the rest of my life, that I would be too scared to become intimate with Brandon or any guy for that matter?
About a month and a half past the day we got married, I was woken up by hearing Brandon’s phone go off in the middle of the night and him mumbling in his sleep about who was calling him so damn late. When I looked over at the bedside table, I saw that it was a little before midnight. “Hello,” I heard him answer in a sleepy voice. There was silence for a moment before Brandon sat up and yelled down the phone, “It’s none of your business why I’m in bed on a Friday night. Why are you calling me, Jake?”
I felt Brandon pull the cover over me a little closer to my chin before getting up. “Hold on a damn moment, man.” When he got up, I turned in time to see him walk into the closet. I knew there was something going on and I wanted to know what it was. So I waited for a moment till I heard his voice again and got out of bed and walked over to the walk-in closet, slowly leaning against the door.
“Yes, man, I’m married now,” I heard him tell Jake. “Now, can you please tell me why the hell you keep calling my phone and almost waking up Kami?” There was a moment of silence before Brandon spoke again. “Man, let them talk. I’m not leaving Kami here alone so I can go whip some wannabe street racer. No, man, I’m not taking her down there either.” When I heard Brandon moving around in the closet, I knew he was about to come out, so I ran to the side of the bed facing the closet, waiting for him to come out and tell me himself what was going on.
When he walked out and saw me sitting there, a look of worry washed over his face and he looked around the room for any sign of danger. Then he looked back at me. “Kami, what’s wrong? Why are you up? I thought you were asleep?”
“I heard your phone go off again,” I answered with a little smirk on my face. “So what did Jake have to say this time that’s got you all hyped up?”
He walked over to me with one of those dangerous but playful looks in his eyes. “They were just talking about me being a washout because I got married. It seems my disappearance for causing trouble is starting to stir people up.”
“Well, we don’t need that now, do we? When’s the race?” I asked, wanting to see for myself what it was like to watch him race without me in the car.
He raised one of his eyebrows as he stood above me, looking at me as if he was trying to figure out what I was talking about. “Tonight, but I told him I wasn’t going.”
“Why not if it’s something you want to do?” I asked. I wanted him to still be able to do the things he did before we got married. I just hoped it wouldn’t get him into any trouble.
“Yes, I enjoy doing it, plus it’s a great adrenaline rush. Can you imagine being on two wheels with nothing but the wind around you? Feeling the danger of each turn when you almost hit the ground. It’s one of the best feelings I’ve ever felt. It’s like I’m free to move the way I want and there’s no one there to stop me.” He paused and pulled me up from the bed into his arms. “That was till I met you. Now I have a new passion in my life, keeping you right here in my arms.”
“Brandon, that’s sweet, but I can tell you want to go to that race. We can’t always be by each other’s side. Sometimes couples need some space, so go to your race and I’ll be here waiting,” I told him, leaning forward to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Just don’t hurt yourself.”
A smile appeared on his face as he watched me. “You really want me to go?” I nodded my head and he pulled me tighter against him. “Then come with me. I want to have you on finish line, so I can kiss my girl senseless.”
“No, you already said you didn’
t want me to go and I’m ok with that. Go, have fun with your friends.” I smiled back, not wanting him to feel like I was keeping him away from his friends.
“You were eavesdropping,” he said, picking me up and tossing me onto the bed before jumping on top of me. “You know, I should punish you for doing that.”
Then he turned his head to the side, as if he was thinking really hard about punishing me. I looked at his face to see if he was joking, but only saw his normal blank face when he was in deep thought.
My heart started pounding faster, thinking he was going to hurt me now, like my stepfather had done so many years. I closed my eyes waiting for it to come till I felt kisses start along my neck till he got to my earlobe and started sucking on it. “Your punishment for eavesdropping is you have to come to the race with me now and look like a sexy vixen I know you are.”
“Sexy vixen?” I repeated, letting out the breath I was holding in. It was foolish to think that he would do such a thing, but I still didn’t have full trust in him. “Brandon, how do you expect me to look sexy when, first, I don’t have the clothes, and second, I know nothing about being sexy.”
“There you go,” he said, standing back on his feet, but still leaning over me and rubbing his hand up and down my side over the shirt I was wearing. “Just be yourself and you’ll be sexy in my eyes. As for clothes, there are some in the closet my mother bought when we got married. I just didn’t want you to think I wanted you to dress that way, so I hid them.”
“You hid clothes?” I laughed, thinking how silly that seemed. “Why would you hide clothes?”
“It doesn’t matter now. Go change. We’re leaving in a few minutes,” he told me as he walked to the closet and returned with a bag full of clothes. “Here, don’t get mad, but these are pretty tight fitting.” I took the bag and walked over to the bathroom. Before I shut the door, I heard him say, “Oh, and next time I tell you I’m going to punish you, it won’t be painful, but more pleasurable.”