Chapter Eleven
‘Do you feel it too Martin? Do you feel it too Martin? Do you feel it too Martin?’ I kept hearing the same question, over and over in my head. I slowly opened my eyes to get my bearings – surely the voice in my head must have been from my dream? As I awoke, or thought that I awoke, there was Sarah, standing right in front of me. There was definitely something very odd going on, but for the moment I did not know really where I was, or what the hell was going on. I tried to look around, but to my disbelief and horror, I found that I was completely paralysed and unable to move at all. It slowly dawned on me that I was actually shaking hands with Sarah who like me, was standing there, completely motionless. The only sensation that I was aware of, was that it felt terribly cold, and then I began to remember.
This strange scene that I found myself in, this is the very same that both Sarah and myself had experienced when we were standing together for twenty four minutes outside my room – but wasn’t that… days ago? How can this be? No sooner had I begun to try to try to reason out what was going on when I saw, just for an instant, what I can only describe as a vortex of swirling fog appear right in front of me. The moment this fog appeared I immediately started to feel faint and I completely blanked out.
I could again feel myself waking up. However, I decided that before opening my eyes, I would try to remember where I actually was. I could clearly remember Sarah giving me the injection in the complex, falling asleep and then…waking up in that really weird scene. Did that really happen, or did I just dream it? Where was I now? I could hear the sounds of cars very close by, and the faint sounds of people talking. It felt as though I was sitting upright. I began to slowly open my eyes.
Now, I had a surprise! I was sitting behind the steering wheel of a car, and was a Porsche! I’ve never liked the bloody things, and there I was behind the wheel of one. I looked around to see where I was. It looked like I was parked in a motorway service station. I had obviously fallen asleep in my car, or at least, I assumed that this was my car.
I again started to look around the inside of the car, before lifting my hands to look at. Yes they were my hands, and then I looked at myself in the mirror. Well, that was me – no doubt about it. I had a good look above my eye and, unlike the time before, there is no scar there. I was definitely a different Martin. So that made three of us. There was me, the last Martin I had been, and then there is this Martin, whoever he was. The last time I had done this I could remember waking up in Caroline’s bedroom, absolutely terrified of where I was. This time was different. This time I knew and expected to find myself in a place that I did not know. How long would I have to sit there before the other Martin’s conscious mind made some form of contact with my own? I did not know, but I did expect that experience to be very confusing.
After sitting in the car for perhaps fifteen to twenty minutes, I had yet to experience anything strange, and I still knew exactly who I was – I had never expected this at all. I decided that I would get myself out of the car to stretch my legs, and to walk around a little. It was only after I had got myself out of the car that I really noticed what I was wearing. This Martin was very flash. I found myself in a very fancy expensive designer suit, with expensive chunky cufflinks, and silk tie, as well as fancy shoes. I looked at my new watch – it was a Rolex and it was definitely genuine. I did not know what this Martin did for a living, or how he had come by his money, but he was rich, and he liked to show it. What a bloody show off! I myself was pretty well off, but I had never dressed in clothes like these – I wondered who he really is?
I took myself off to the men’s toilets so that I could have a good look at myself, or this new Martin, in a proper mirror. And there I stood - what a strange sensation, looking just as I always had done, except for my new ridiculous clothes. I didn’t feel flash at all. In fact, I felt that I was more like a clown. I really did feel most uncomfortable.
I walked back to the car. This was damn funny, I was still me, but in this other Martin’s body. This was not how it was supposed to be. So what on earth was I supposed to do if I stayed like this? I looked at the car – another problem, I couldn’t just stay here. I had to drive the car somewhere, but where? For a start I didn’t even know where I, or rather, this Martin lived or worked. Was he even married?
Realising that I felt thirsty, I started to walk towards the café, before stopping abruptly. Money? I felt in my pockets and pulled out a large fat wallet from my inside jacket pocket. No problems there! Whoa - this guy was loaded – I had never seen this much money in a wallet before. Was I a drug dealer? I chuckled to myself with the thought that I was in the body of drugs dealer, or was he a hit man? Maybe he was a pimp! I delved deeper into the wallet, pulling out numerous credit cards, all embossed with ‘Mr M Chalfont.’ No secret names in there, only my name, but no clues to where I worked or lived. I sighed and decided to get myself a drink now that I knew I was okay for money – but I was still no further forward with who I really was.
I got myself a coffee and sat down in the café. Sipping my coffee I remembered the really odd sensation I had experienced as I crossed into this dimension. It definitely seemed very real, that weird connection with Sarah, just standing there, not moving. Was it all real? Did it really happen? Or was it just a dream, before waking as this Martin? It certainly felt real, but if it did happen for real, what did it all mean? I didn’t know. It was all so very wearisome, and then of course there was now my new predicament. There I was, giving not me, but this other Martin a drink of coffee? Did he even like coffee? This really was a strange situation to find myself in. Just what was I supposed to do?
With my coffee finished, I aimlessly headed back to the car and just as I reached for the door I heard a mobile phone inside the car stop ringing. I wondered who had tried to call me? I was intrigued. I got in the car and picked up the phone to look at. It informed me that I had missed one call, and there was one text message waiting for me. I had not thought about going through the contact list in the phone before, and so that’s what I did next. Strangely, I found that there were only two numbers saved. One was ‘Home,’ and the other was ‘Office.’ That did not really help me – I could hardly phone my own office and ask for directions, and what about phoning home? Who was I going to speak to, and what would I, or could I say?
I accessed the text message and frustratingly only a number was displayed with no name. I decided that I would open the message. It read ‘where are you? Missing you…deeply xx.’ I laughed to myself, just who was missing this Martin? Should I reply? I thought about it for a few minutes. After all, if I were to answer, I could really be interfering with somebody else’s life. However, I couldn’t help myself, and typed in the reply, ‘Will make it up to you. Missing you too.’
I had no idea if this Martin would have answered this message, maybe he didn’t even know her. Maybe it wasn’t even a she! I laughed again before finally pressing ‘send.’ Oh well, what the hell, it was just a bit of fun!
I opened the glove compartment to find a bundle of business cards – brilliant, just what I needed. They all read ‘Pannikin Instrumentation.’ And there was me, ‘Mr M Chalfont, Sales Director.’ So that’s who I was – a Sales Director, and clearly a successful one too! However, most importantly as far as I was concerned was the company’s address. ‘Pannikin House, Connaught Close, off Tamara Road, Kenwyll.’ So that’s where I worked, all I had to do was to work out where I was, and then somehow get myself to Kenwyll, wherever that might be – I had never heard of it before.
I again sat there thinking what I should do next; I couldn’t really turn up at the other Martin’s work could I? What about trying to find my way to where Martin lived? If I was not going to do any of these things, then what? I had not noticed at what time I had become this other Martin, but I was more than sure that it was well over an hour, and yet I was still me.
Just then the phone beeped, there was another message waiting to be read. I picked up the phone. Should I read
this message? I had already been just a little mischievous by sending a cheeky reply back to a private message that was not meant for me. I reasoned that if I did stay as me inside this other body, the only way that I might get some answers to my current predicament was to grab at any opportunity that might come my way. This could be just one of those opportunities – I would read the message. Once again there was no name, only a number to say who had left it and I couldn’t remember if this number was the same as the last. It read ‘Darling, I need you back at the office…I want you xx.’ I sat there thinking for a few moments. Was this my, no not mine, but the other Martin’s girlfriend back at the office? It did not look like the sort of message sent from his wife…so he probably wasn’t married – or maybe he was! I didn’t know. Should I answer this message? It was very tempting, but I shouldn’t really, should I?
I got out of the car and made my way to the shop in the services. I stopped and looked at the top of a newspaper. It was Friday, the same day as when I left. I wonder why the guys on the project always sent me somewhere on a Friday? Who knows? Who cares? Then I found what I was looking for, the road map on the wall. It was one of those maps that for some reason boasted where all their other motorway service stations are located around the country. I never understood that one. Anyway, for once it was now doing something useful as it showed me exactly where in the country I was. I was parked in a place called North Bridgecoat, now I had heard of that and I knew just where I was. I made my way over to where the road atlases were being sold, and quickly located the small town of Kenwyll. I reckoned it to be about an hour and a half away and, before putting the road atlas back on the shelf I memorised the route.
Having returned to the car I was again at a loss to really know what I should do next. I was keenly aware that I could not just stay here, and realistically could not drive myself off just anywhere. In fact the more that I sat here doing nothing, the more it was going to impact on the other Martin’s life. Whoever had sent Martin the text message had sent it from his office, and it would seem that he was expected back. I looked at my expensive Rolex, it was ten past two. If I drove to the office, I would be there easily before four o-clock. By the time I got there, the other Martin may have got his conscious mind back, and if he hadn’t, well I would have to think about the problem then.
I picked up the phone and retuned the text message, ‘Be there in 90 minutes. See you soon.’ Well, I might as well have just a little more fun! I just hoped that I wasn’t returning messages to one of Martin’s stalkers – I really had no idea!
The car engine roared into life as I turned the ignition key, and for the first time I began inspecting the instrumentation in front of me. And there it was - a Sat-Nav. I fiddled with it for three or four minutes until I worked out how it functioned. I carefully entered my destination. Brilliant, I would let my new toy take me to my new office.
My journey was very uneventful and, as far as I could make out, my new world that I was now living in was just the same as where I had come from. The Sat-Nav had done its job and I now stopped the car. There in front of me was my new office, Pannikin Instrumentation. It was quite a large modern building – it certainly had the appearance of being a wealthy company. I took a deep breath. I was still me, lost in this new world. I was beginning to come to terms with the fact that I may well remain like this for some time, maybe even for all the time that I remained in this other dimension. If I drove into the car park and walked into the building I was certainly going to have to think on my feet, and very quickly. That was about the only advice Davila had given me before proceeding with both runs, ‘To think on my feet.’ I made up my mind, I would go in. I could feel my heart starting to pound that little bit faster.
I drove into the car park and quickly found my own reserved parking bay. I began to walk towards the entrance of the building. My heart was really doing its stuff now as I could feel it pounding away. The large automatic doors parted as I reached them. There was about a further twelve feet to walk, and then the second set of automatic doors parted, letting me through. There on the other side of the doors was the security man waiting to evict, or greet me.
‘Good afternoon Mr Chalfont, isn’t it a lovely day?’
I looked at the nametag above his pocket before replying, ‘It certainly is Roger, let’s just hope it remains like this for the weekend,’ and I purposefully walked past him towards the reception desk. I can recall thinking to myself, ‘That’s one down!’
Sitting behind the desk was a woman who I reckoned to be in her fifties with a face that did not tell me if she was going to be friendly, or just plain difficult. Just before I got to her desk she answered the phone. ‘Good afternoon, Pannikin Instruments, Anne speaking, how may I help you?’
After she finished dealing with the call I said to her, ‘Good afternoon Anne, any messages?’
‘Nothing here for you Mr Chalfont, I think Sarah must have got them all for you.’
‘Good, do you know if she is still here Anne?’
I could see her thinking for a moment before answering, ‘I am pretty sure that she is still in your office.’ As she finished talking, she pointed up.
I could only assume, and I hoped, that she meant my office was upstairs. ‘Thanks Anne,’ I replied as I turned and made my way towards the stairs behind the desk.
I walked up to the first level. Damn, there was a second floor, so where is my office? I began to search this floor, looking at all the names on the doors. Only some of the doors had names on them, this could turn out to be very interesting indeed. Unable to find a door with my name on it, I now made my way back to the stairs. I had almost reached the stairs when I heard a voice behind me.
‘Martin, I didn’t think you’d be back today.’
I spun around to see a total stranger in front of me, dressed in a smart business suit. He obviously worked here, and he clearly knew who I was.
‘Well you know me, can’t keep away from work, that’s what it is’ I answered him.
He winked at me and smiled as he replied, ‘Of course it is. I believe your office is another two flights up, I’m sure you have a lot of work to catch up on! Anyway, I’m away home – you have a good weekend.’
What was all that about? ‘Yes you too,’ was the only thing I could think in reply as I quickly turned and made my way up the stairs.
As I slowly made my way up the stairs I could feel my legs beginning to feel heavy and I was getting rather light headed – what was I getting myself into now? Maybe I should just turn back now. It was a mixture of thinking, ‘So far so good,’ ‘That was too bloody close for comfort,’ ‘My office is on the third floor, when I had only assumed there to be two floors,’ and, ‘What the hell was that cryptic answer from the man that I didn’t know all about?’ I could still feel my heart pounding away and now here I was, on the third floor. There are only two doors. One marked ‘Private’ and the other door marked ‘Mr M Chalfont, Sales Director.’ I stood at my door for a few moments, hoping that once I entered the room, I would finally start to get some clues to the other Martin’s life.
I opened the door, and stepped through. I found that I had actually entered a small reception area, and to my right was the door that led to my office. To my left was a reception desk, and on the front of the desk was a nameplate. It read ‘Miss Sarah Soames.’ I was stunned, and simply could not believe what I was looking at. Anne on the main desk had told me that ‘Sarah’ had got all my messages. Was this the same Sarah? It had never crossed my mind for a moment. It’s funny how so many things can go through your mind within just a matter of seconds. The very first thing that entered my mind was the relief that Sarah was not at her desk. I then began to reason that Sarah was not only Martin’s personal secretary; she was in fact much more. It would seem that she was also his girlfriend, and if that were true, then that’s who had been sending those silly text messages. I also quickly concluded that some, if not all, of the staff knew of this affair going by what my colleague ha
d said just a minute ago down-stairs.
Then it dawned on me, Sarah and I having an affair, no not I, but this other Martin, this is exactly what the other Sarah had said in my own world. She had said that the feeling she had whenever we were in close contact was as if we were once lovers. What an extraordinary thing, how could I begin to reason that one out? I heard the door to my right begin to open, and turned to see who it was.
‘Martin, where have you been?’ enquired Sarah. She stood in the doorway, dressed in a very sexy business suit, although judging by how short the skirt was, I was not entirely sure that you could really call it a suit. She was just as I remembered the other Sarah, very sexy and very sultry. I realised that I was going to have to think very quickly on my feet – this was going to be more than interesting!
‘Sorry I’m a little late Sarah, how are you?’
‘Much better now that you’ve come back to me. I’ve got your messages on your desk Martin. Shall I go through them with you now?’
‘Good idea,’ I said following her into my office. I noticed that she not only closed the door behind us, but she also locked it as well. Just as I was about to pass Sarah to get to my very expensive looking chair at an even more expensive looking large desk, she grabbed and embraced me. We then passionately kissed each other as we held each other tightly. I was enjoying every moment of this. It was as though I was on autopilot. I was just getting carried along with all of Sarah’s leads, and after all, I was only doing what the other Martin would be doing, wasn’t I?
We finished kissing and then Sarah stood back a little before saying, ‘I know your text said that you would make it up to me Martin, but that was some kiss!’
‘I like to keep my promises,’ I responded as I now completed my journey round my desk and sat in my chair. Sarah sat in the chair on the other side of the desk and I could see she was trying to compose herself after our embrace a moment ago. I didn’t know about her, but the only thing on my mind just now was Sarah. In fact, I was unable to have any coherent thoughts about anything else at all.
‘Where shall we start? asked Sarah, trying her best to look like she was now my secretary.
‘I’ll let you fill me in.’
I listened to Sarah going through her notes for around five minutes. I did my best to look interested and tried to judge when it was best to nod and acknowledge what she was saying to me.
‘And that’s about it Martin,’ she said getting out of her chair. She now slowly walked around my desk and very deliberately sat on my knee so that I could see as much of her legs as possible. I could feel my heart beginning to race again. This other Martin was a lucky bastard! What an incredible life he had, what a sexy girlfriend, and what sexy long legs she had! She took my hand and placed it high on her thigh and then she leaned forward and once again we kissed. I was again getting carried away on autopilot - this sure as hell felt good.
Before I even realised what I was really doing we had made mad passionate love on my large desk. Several items had flown off the desk and were lying on the floor. I can remember thinking that I was not really doing anything wrong - I was simply living the life of the other Martin. I might as well enjoy it, and I was doing just that! As we were both dressing, I could not see how I could have got myself a better deal. There I was having an affair with a gorgeous sexy young girl, and there was absolutely no danger of any come back on me at all, because it wasn’t really me! What a deal, this was going to be great! I just hoped that I didn’t finish my time in this world too quickly. An amusing thought went through my mind. This was more than likely going be very embarrassing to the other Sarah when I begin re-telling my adventures on my return!
Sarah came up to me and kissed me on the cheek before saying, ‘Thank you Martin. So what changed your mind then?’
‘About what?’
‘You know just what I mean,’ she responded. I returned her a blank stare, and she added, ‘You know, your little golden rule – no sex in your office. So what changed your mind?’
‘Your legs Sarah…I just couldn’t help myself.’ As I replied I realised that without thinking or realising it, I was actually changing what Martin did and didn’t do. Mind you, I really didn’t think that what I had done would really impact greatly on his life. After all, they were definitely a couple and clearly in love with each other.
Sarah was now busy gathering up all the items that had very unceremoniously fallen to the floor from my desk.
‘Oh dear,’ she exclaimed in a very insincere manner. ‘I’m afraid the glass has broken on your favourite picture,’ she said as she passed the picture to me.
I carefully took the picture from her and turned it over, and there was Caroline. It was a picture of both Caroline and myself, looking like the perfect couple. My heart started to sink. Was this my wife? Was Sarah just my bit on the side? I looked long and hard at the picture before again looking at Sarah.
‘Martin, why do you have to put up with her?’
I knew right then from Sarah’s tone and mannerism, that Caroline was my wife. I didn’t feel quite so any more. Not after what I had experienced with the other two Caroline’s. It was becoming very clear to me that I was having quite a serious affair with Sarah. What I didn’t know, was how I related to the Caroline in this world.
‘Haven’t we been through this before Sarah?’ I was sure that we must have discussed this before.
‘I know Martin, I know. It just doesn’t seem fair that’s all. We both know that she doesn’t love you. The quicker you can leave her the better, then we can be together, all of the time. Do you really have to go back to her tonight?’ as she finished talking she came over and again embraced me. She started to kiss me before saying, ‘We could be together tonight.’
I returned her kisses and replied, ‘There is nothing I would want more Sarah – you know that, but it’s like I said before, I really do have to go back this weekend. I will make it up to you. I promise.’
She sighed before resting her head on my chest, and I began to slowly stroke her hair.
‘I know it’s not fair on you, and for that I apologise. We will get this sorted out, but I must go back this weekend. I suppose we should be finishing up now,’ I said glancing at my watch. ‘It’s just gone five.’
We kissed and cuddled for another few minutes before we said our goodbyes, and finally she left for the weekend. I returned to my chair and just sat there for a good few minutes, looking blankly into space contemplating yet another difficult situation I was in. Why does it always seem to be so damn difficult and complicated with all these different Martins? I was now beginning to understand why Sarah and I had shared that weird connection in my own world. Well no, I didn’t understand, but nevertheless it must surely have something to do with the relationship between them in this world, mustn’t it?
If I could begin to get my mind round that one, what about this strange triangle of relationships that also took in Caroline? The very fact that I could interact with three different Caroline’s as well as two different Sarah's in the way that I had, and was still doing, seemed to be beyond any form of logic, or at least it did to me. It was as unexplainable as finding my very own car in the very first magazine that I bought when I did the first run. None of this made any sense at all.
I carefully went through the desk drawers for ten or fifteen minutes, and at last I found what I was looking for - my own address. At least I knew where my house was. Finding the address was the easy bit. All I had to do now was to decide what I was going to do next.
It could have only been about an hour ago that I had been having the time of my life with Sarah right there in the office, on my desk. In fact just thinking about our brief time together was still putting a smile on my face. I was really looking forward to the rest of my time here in this world, but now everything seemed to have gone pear-shaped and horribly complicated - yet again. I suppose on balance I really should go back home to see Caroline. I really didn’t know what to expect. Did she know abou
t the affair? Maybe she was the unreasonable party in all of this, just as Sarah had indicated. However, I had this nasty nagging feeling that the only guilty party here was this new Martin – me. From what Sarah had said to me, and the way she had said it I was convinced that Martin had been screwing Sarah and promising her the earth, and that also included telling her he was going to leave Caroline for her. Judging from the fancy show off-clothes that he wore, I was sure that I knew who this Martin was – he was a bit of a bastard, and that included his attitude to both Caroline and to Sarah. Of course, I could have got it completely wrong, and the only way to find out was for me to go and meet Caroline.
I left the office and got back into my car – the Porsche. The very fact that he was driving this car should have warned me about him from the start – not to be trusted! It had got quite cold outside, and there was also a little drizzle in the air. The weather was very much like my mood - pretty miserable and dark. I again input my new location into the Sat-Nav. At least this device knew where it was heading, unlike me who was totally lost in a strange world.
Before I set off on my new journey, I remained sitting in the car for a few minutes reflecting on what I had just done. I had managed to fool everybody, and nobody had for a moment suspected that it was me, and not the ‘real’ Martin. I had handled that pretty well I thought. Yes, it definitely did make me feel pretty good and more positive. There was certainly no doubting that I had enjoyed my time with Sarah. That was some experience, and now I simply couldn’t stop thinking about her! It was only now that I could think back on it that I realised that I had not at any time, had any weird or strange feelings when I was in her company. I had no idea what that really meant, but it was duly noted, and would be reported on my return. The project: I wondered how much more time I would have here in this world before I returned?
Before driving out of the car park, I noticed that it was almost six o-clock. I wonder how far away I lived? I didn’t really care, and although I was feeling fairly relaxed, I had to contemplate how I was going to have to handle my next adventure - meeting Caroline. I just knew that it was going to go horribly wrong. When I was back in my own world I had been looking forward to meeting up with Caroline again, even though I realised that it was going to be a different person. But now, after I knew that this Martin was having a very serious affair with Sarah, well it has changed everything. It was funny, in spite of the fact that I knew that there was only one Caroline and one Sarah in my own world, and that I had no relationship with either of them, I was nevertheless finding it very difficult coming to terms with my own emotions. I had no idea what to expect, or how to act when I finally reached my new home. How many homes did I have? I began to realise that my ‘what if’ imagination was getting a little too weird, and so I determined to concentrate on my driving instead.
The traffic was pretty grim and very heavy, more so in the driving rain, and I had also forgotten about the wretched Friday evening rush hour. However, my little Sat-Nav did a wonderful job, and it eventually informed me that I was entering ‘Merton Close.’ and there was my house, number seventeen. I parked the car on the driveway directly behind the car sitting there already. Was this Caroline's car? I turned the engine off and glanced at my watch as I got out of the car. It was now half past seven. I looked at the front door, and my heart was again starting to pound away. I really did hope that this is where Martin lived, if I had got it wrong, this was going to be very awkward and difficult.
I looked around so that I could take in what sort of housing Martin lived in. I was fairly certain that most of the houses around me were built in the seventies, and they all looked to be three or four bedroom detached houses. It was clear that this was an affluent area, and the more upmarket cars sitting in the driveways all shouted ‘money.’ So, Martin had an expensive car, expensive clothes, an expensive house, and judging from his job title and size of office, he was very successful in his current job. Successful with the ladies as well!
I looked at the keys in my hand. It was obvious which one was the car key, but which was the front door key? There were three other keys on the key fob. I was sure that I could dismiss one of them, so that left me with a choice of two. I approached the door, and had to look very hard to find the lock on the door, as it was getting quite dark. I found it. Now all I had to do was try one of the keys. I inserted the first key and turned it. I could feel the lock turning, and with a click, it unlocked – success! I pushed open the door, and stepped into the well-lit hallway. I closed the door behind me, with a rather loud thud. Was there anybody home? In the background I could hear what I assumed to be the television in the room to my right. That’s where I would start.
I walked into the room that was clearly the sitting room. My eyes were immediately drawn to the very expensive set of brown leather chairs, as well as the expensive-looking large television sitting in the corner of the room. Nobody here then. I started to take in the room. It was a large sitting room that was ‘themed’ with a Spanish feel. They had clearly spent a lot of money in this room. I walked up to one of the pictures so that I could give it a better look.
‘Hello Martin,’ came the voice from just behind me. I knew it was Caroline, I recognised her voice immediately.
I spun around and there she was. I could feel tingles going right through me - she looked so much like the first Caroline I had briefly known. She was very well dressed, radiated confidence, and she was really very pretty.
‘Hello Caroline. How was your day?’ as I finished my question I moved forward to kiss her on the cheek, but she deliberately moved her head away. I knew in an instant that there was something wrong, but what?
‘My day was just fine Martin. Just what do you think you are playing at?’
I did not know what to say, I didn’t know what she was getting at. However, I could pick up very quickly the very negative attitude aimed in my direction. I returned her a blank stare.
‘And how was your day Martin? Did the office bike manage to keep her hands off you, just for once?’ came the bitter response from her.
Bloody hell – just what the hell had I got myself into? So it wasn’t only the rest of the office that knew about the affair. How long had Caroline known? Where were we with our relationship? I had absolutely no idea, and I really was at a loss as to what to say next. I only had myself to blame. After all I could have stayed away, but no – I could not keep away and I had to drive here to see Caroline. Now she wanted some answers, or was it an argument? It didn’t matter, I had to answer quickly.
‘My day was pretty good Caroline thanks for asking, it was only work, and nothing else.’
‘Of course it was. You know your trouble Martin? You don’t know the difference between business and pleasure, that’s your problem. And I know you, working in the same office as her, don’t even try to tell me that it’s over. You also forget Martin that I know when you’re lying to me.’
‘Caroline I really don’t know what you expect me to say to you.’
‘Good, then why not try saying nothing then. At least you won’t be lying for a bloody change!’
‘Can’t we change the subject?’ I asked really more in hope.
Caroline gave me a very long ironic look before replying in very angry tones, ‘And change it to what Martin? What would you like to talk about? When was the last time that we really sat down and talked together? I know, I have an idea - lets not talk about us at all Martin, why not talk about Sarah? You remember, Sarah the girl that was made to be your secretary, when apparently she cannot even so much as type a letter. So tell me, what is it like to be working in the same office, with the very same girl that only last month you went and did the dirty to by breaking off your little romance? It must be very difficult and awkward. The poor girl, she must have been so upset when you told her that it was really me that you loved and that you could no longer go on seeing each other. All those months that you were screwing each other. Remind me again Martin, ah yes you were screwing in her f
lat, in your car, oh yes and let’s not forget in our bed upstairs. I bet she really got a thrill out of that one! And God knows what goes on in your office, very little work I suspect. All those stolen little moments when you whispered sweet nothings in her ears, all those little gifts, all for nothing as now it’s over. She must be absolutely heartbroken. But why should I really be so upset with her, when it was you all along. But we are not going to talk about us, are we Martin? You would rather change the subject, but to what? What shall we talk about?’
‘Caroline I know I have been selfish, inconsiderate, all of those things and…and I suppose I have been a fool and a bit of a bastard towards you. I know these things, and for that I am sorry, I really am. I cannot turn back the clock, I wish I could. The last thing I wanted to do was to hurt you. I don’t expect you to forgive me for what I did. I also know that saying to you that it really is over between Sarah and me and that I really am sorry is not going to resolve anything between us. I know these things Caroline: I just wish I knew what I should do now.’
I didn’t like this new horrible scene that I found myself in, however, I did realise that I was not really part of it. I could therefore really say or do whatever I wanted, and be safe from any fallout from whatever I had said. I had also quickly come to terms with what was really going on around me, and it was just as I had originally thought. This Martin was lying through his teeth to both Caroline and to Sarah, and he really wasn’t overly concerned about any of the repercussions. So, I had apologised to Caroline as best as I could, on behalf of the other Martin. I was sure that he would never offer such an apology in the way that I had. At least when I said I was sorry it was genuine, in a very strange roundabout way.
I looked at her who in turn was now staring back at me. I could see her thinking for a moment or two before she said in a much calmer voice, ‘Sometimes I really don’t understand you at all.’
I was now sure that the other Martin had never apologised to her, she was clearly surprised, if not actually taken aback by what I had said. I watched her as she sat herself in one of the chairs to watch the television.
I needed a little space, and so I said to her, ‘I’m going to have a shower.’
She looked in my direction and answered, ‘Okay’ before turning back to watch the television, at least she had stopped snapping at me! I left the room and went upstairs to find a change of clothes, and to also find where the shower was.
I found the bathroom right at the top of the stairs. There were four other rooms to investigate. I felt as though I was snooping in somebody else’s house and that I had no right to be there. In fact on reflection, that is exactly what I was doing, and it made me feel quite uncomfortable.
I opened the first door, this was strange I never expected this, it looked like a children’s room. I went around the room looking at the various movie and pop star posters that were pinned to the walls. I could tell by everything in the room that this room probably belonged to a young girl. Who was she? Did we have a daughter? Wow, it had never crossed my mind that we might have kids. I had only recently accepted that I was married. No - this I had not been prepared for. I wondered where she was? I wondered what she looked like? I sat on the bed so that I could take in everything in the room and then I saw it, there was her picture beside the bedside clock radio. I picked it up to look at her. I had no idea how old the picture was, and I could only assume that it was her. She had the biggest grin on her face, and had a large Mexican hat on her head. She was sitting upon the back of a beautiful white stallion that was flanked by Caroline and myself. The proud parents? I looked even closer at her; she was without doubt Caroline's daughter. I could see it in her eyes and cheekbones, even her smile. I didn’t know if I was the father. I wondered what her name was? I turned the picture over and pulled the photograph out of its frame. She had written ‘Cordoba, Spain, 2011. Mum, Dad and me. Great holiday.’ I returned the picture to its frame. The picture was only a few months old then, and I reckoned that she must be about nine, possibly ten. I walked over to the messy desk and found several school books to find she had written the same name on each of the inside covers, ‘Pauline Chalfont.’
I left the room and opened the door of another room. I knew straight away that this must be our room. Before investigating any more rooms, I decided that I should really find my clothes and then have my shower. I looked around the room and found a very welcoming en-suite bathroom. Perfect. I couldn’t wait to get showered and have a few moments of peace and relaxation.
It took me ages to find the clothes that I wanted, but at last I had them, and I also found myself a towel. Caroline came into the room and asked, ‘Shall we get a Chinese in?’
‘Yes, good idea.’
‘Fine,’ was her reply as she left the room.
Then it hit me. Chinese food on a Friday - that’s just what the other Caroline and Martin had done when I had done the first run. How strange. They had a different house, this Martin was very different to the first Martin, there was a daughter in this world, and yet they still had Chinese food on a Friday.
I got myself undressed and went into the shower. I stood there for ages waiting for it to get hot, but it never did. It just remained icy cold. I kept fiddling with the stupid controls, but try as I might I could not get the damn thing to work. I was getting really pissed off and I was bloody freezing.
‘Are you mad or what?’ Caroline shouted behind me. I turned around to face her.
Realising that I had nothing on, I held my towel in front of me, completely forgetting that we were married. ‘I can’t get any hot water!’ I replied.
‘Of course you can’t, it’s broken. What’s wrong with you? It’s not been working for weeks!’
Shit! Now what was I going to say? There was only one thing I could say, ‘Bloody hell! I had forgotten Caroline, I don’t know what’s come over me. I will go and use the other shower,’ I said wrapping the towel around me as I walked past her to get to the bathroom. I could see her questioning looks as I walked past her.
I got this shower going and began to finally relax under the hot steaming water. This was some bloody adventure I had found myself in. The quicker I returned to my own world the better. There were far too many complications in this one for my liking. It was difficult enough having to tiptoe around Caroline, and now I might have to do the same with my daughter, Pauline. I wondered where she was? How much more difficult is it going get?
I thought back to my time back at the office with Sarah. Now that had been good, should I feel guilty about what happened? I don’t know really. However, there is one thing that has been playing on my mind. Is it possible that the other Martin was trying to distance himself from Sarah, only for me to get the wrong idea and end up by making matters worse? I just didn’t know - how could I? I realised that the longer I remained here and interacted with all of them, the more I would end up actually interfering with their lives. I knew this was very wrong.
I finished showering, got dressed, and hesitantly made my way downstairs to find Caroline preparing the table in the dining room. I was convinced that whatever I said or did in front of Caroline, was going to land me in even more trouble. However, I knew that hiding was not an option, I had to face this and now. I would just try my best to be as diplomatic and helpful to Caroline as I could.
‘Would you like me to go and get the takeaway Caroline?’
She stood and looked at me in a very puzzled way ‘Martin, you have been acting like a different person ever since you came home. I don’t know what it is, but it’s bloody weird. I can’t put my finger on it. First, you come home and your mannerism no… no, your body language is completely different to normal. Then, you forget that our shower is not working, work that one out if you will. And now you ask if you should go and get the food. I have already ordered it by phone, and it’s on its way, just as we always do. What’s got into you Martin?’
‘I don’t know Caroline, I suppose I must be tired or something.’
&nb
sp; She leaned across the table a little so that she could address me directly, ‘Martin, I hope you’re not trying to play one of your silly games…’
‘What do you mean by that?’
‘You know just what I’m talking about. Trying to look a little lost, looking for a little sympathy from me. Is that your game?’
‘Of course it’s not. It’s like I said, I must be a bit tired I…I don’t know, but I’m not play acting’ was my bumbling response.
Caroline now stood upright and fixed me one of her stares before replying, ‘I just hope so Martin, because I’ve had just about had my fill of your crap and…’
The doorbell rang - thank goodness. Caroline left the room to get our newly delivered food. Saved by the bell!
Why me? Why did I have to land in this new ghastly world? Why is it that each time I travel to another world, I end up by somehow upsetting Caroline? I can clearly remember parachuting into enemy territory during the dream sequence given to me back in the lab. That all seemed so easy, and it was pretty much child’s play in comparison to the predicament I was now in. I really could not wait to return to my own world and normality and the sooner the better.
I could hear Caroline in the background preparing the dishes. I had no idea what I should be doing to help, so I decided that it would probably be best to stay out of the kitchen, and harm’s way.
She appeared with our food and started to put the dishes onto the table. ‘Martin, the wine?’
Oh bloody hell! And just where do you keep the wine in this house? That’s what I really wanted to ask, but I knew that was out of the question. I was already in enough trouble. This was getting worse and worse by the minute. I could only assume that the wine was to be found somewhere in the kitchen, and where would I find the bloody corkscrew?
‘Yep, I’ll go fetch the wine,’ I replied marching into the kitchen. The kitchen wasn’t too big - where shall I start? I could hear Caroline walking in behind me.
‘Martin it’s getting cold, what are you doing?’
‘I’m getting the wine – you did want wine?’
‘Are you trying to piss me about or what? You know that the wine is under the stairs – God I’ll get it myself,’ and she stormed out.
Resigned to my fate, I slowly made my way back to the table. As I began to take my seat at the table, she reappeared with the wine, and corkscrew in her hands. ‘I’ll open it,’ she said looking at me as though I was completely bonkers. I decided that I would not say anything more about anything – just shut up and eat.
Caroline poured the wine for us both and we now started to eat in complete silence, which pretty much suited me. As far as I was concerned, the less said by anybody the better. It was definitely a lot safer that way, especially as the atmosphere around the table was pretty grim and serious. We were not quite the happy couple that I had seen earlier in the photograph in my office. We must have been about half way through the meal when I began noticing Caroline giving me some funny intermittent stares.
‘Everything okay Caroline?’
‘Have you done something to your eyes Martin?’
That was a strange question, what on earth was she getting at now?
‘My eyes?’
‘Yes your eyes. Now I realise what’s different about you since you came home. They’re different, there’s something funny, or not right about them. I can’t put my finger on it, but I’m sure about it.’
Then it came back to me. The first Caroline had also commented that my eyes were different, and now this. Maybe this Martin somehow had my eyes now? I didn’t know, but it must be something like that.
‘Well I feel fine Caroline, maybe it’s just because I’m tired. In fact I think I will turn in after dinner and take a book to read in bed. I could really do with an early night.’
Caroline was giving me her puzzled look once again, and shaking her head at me she silently returned to her meal. With the food finished, I had the last of my wine. I had it all planned. I would leave the table, take my plate to the kitchen, find myself a book, and head straight for bed.
‘What time shall we leave tomorrow Martin?’
Tomorrow? Now that was a bloody good question, and I knew that my answer whatever it was was going to get me into even more trouble.
‘I hadn’t really given it too much thought. What time would you like to leave?’
‘Well I promised your mother that we wouldn’t be late for lunch this time, so just to be on the safe side, I don’t think we should leave any later than half ten.’
My mother? Was I going to see my mother tomorrow? I had completely forgotten about that. I could feel tingles going right through me as I came to realise that I could actually see my mother again. Was I pleased? I didn’t really know…
‘Martin? Are you okay?’
‘Yes? Oh…yes, I’m fine. Tomorrow, yes half ten. How long will it take?’ Oh shit, why did I ask that stupid question? I wasn’t thinking was I?
‘How long will what take?’
‘No it’s nothing Caroline. It’s okay, I was just daydreaming that’s all.’
Caroline stood up and started to take the plates into the kitchen. Before she reached the doorway she stopped and looked round at me, ‘I don’t know what the hell has got into you,’ and then she disappeared through the doorway.
I left the dinning room and walked into the sitting room. Where had I left my book? I glanced round the room, yes - there it was, on the speaker. That’s where I had put it down a couple of evenings ago. I picked it up and looked at it’s cover, ‘Fifteen Tents and a Mountain,’ yes, quite a funny book, and just what I needed right then. Taking the book with me I made my way to the kitchen to find Caroline.
She was about to go out the back door with the rubbish. ‘I’m going to bed now Caroline. Goodnight.’
She barely looked in my direction as she replied, ‘Night, Martin. See you in the morning,’ and then she disappeared out the back door. I left the kitchen and started to make my way up the stairs.
Bitch! Instead of making my life a misery, why can’t you do us both a favour and step out in front of a lorry? I could then be with Sarah, at least she understands me, and we have great sex together.
I got to the top of the stairs and made straight for the spare room. After firmly closing the door behind me, I got myself comfortable in bed and picked up my book to read. What page had I got to? I scanned a few pages, yes - page eighty-seven. I had barely begun reading before I slowly closed the book and put it down.
What the hell was going on? Where was I? I looked around the room. How did I get in here? I began to retrace my steps. I was in the kitchen, after finding my book I made my way up the stairs. I remember thinking about Caroline and Sarah. Bloody hell…was I going mad? I never thought that about Caroline did I? Why did I think that? I looked at the book I had just put down. I really felt that I was losing my mind. I had never seen this book before – what was it doing in my hands? This was damn funny and unsettling. I knew where I was of course - I was in the spare room, banished from our room. I knew that, but how did I know that? This was getting very weird and spooky again…
After looking into space and racking my brains for a few minutes it finally dawned on me what must be happening. For just a few minutes there I had become the other Martin and, I had experienced what he was thinking and doing. His mind must have been more conscious and alive than mine for a while. Was this a sign that his mind was becoming more dominant? Was I soon going to have to view this world through his eyes, just I had originally done with the first Martin? I didn’t know, and although I could guess what was going on, I nevertheless understood that guessing was all I could do. I really did not understand what was happening to me. However, the thought that I could become this other Martin sent a chill through me. I did not like him at all; he really was a bit of a bastard.
I sighed to myself, what the hell was tomorrow going to bring? Would I wake up still stuck in this world? Assuming I remained here, would I
become this other Martin, or would I remain as me? Maybe it would be both of us, just to confuse us both. I had never really thought about the other Martin before. Was he seeing through my eyes what he was doing, but under my control? Maybe he felt trapped, rather like a prisoner in his own body, unable to control what he thought or did. I didn’t know - I only wanted to return to my own world.
The door of the room opened and in walked Caroline. She was still talking into the phone, ‘Here is your father, darling yes…yes, see you tomorrow.’ She passed the phone to me. ‘It’s your daughter,’ she said leaving the room as quickly as she had come in.
I held the phone in my hands for a few seconds, not knowing what to say to a daughter I didn’t know. This was going to be very difficult and awkward, yet again.
‘Hello,’ I said trying to sound as cheerful as I could.
‘Daddy! How are you?’ shrieked the excited voice. I could only assume this to be Pauline. I did only have one daughter, didn’t I?
‘I’m just fine darling, and what about you – what have you been doing?’
‘Granddad took me to see ‘Little Guzzumby’ this afternoon. It was really great.’
Little Guzzumby? What the hell was that? ‘Did he now? And I bet Granddad bought you too many sweats as well, didn’t he?’
I could hear a girlish giggle before she replied ‘Not too many Daddy, but he did get me a little Guzzumby hat. It’s great! You want to hear it?’
I decided that this could only be Pauline so I now answered, ‘Go on then Pauline, let’s hear it then.’
‘Right, now listen carefully as I put it to the phone.’ There was a few moments silence before I heard a ghastly electronic voice saying in sickly loving tones, ‘Hello my name is little Guzzumby and I love Pauline. She is my best friend.’ There was silence for another few moments and then Pauline said down the phone, ‘Isn’t it just great Daddy?’
I could tell from her voice that this toy, or whatever it was, was for the moment the very best toy that she ever had. ‘I suppose its okay…why did little Guzzumby say your name and not mine?’
‘You’re being silly Daddy.’
‘I know, it is great darling. I just hope that you’re not going to use up the batteries too quickly. Anyway, how’s Granny and Granddad, are you looking after them?’
‘They’re fine, Granny wants to speak to you in a minute,’ there was silence for a few moments from Pauline before she then asked, ‘Are you and Mum talking now?’
Before I could answer her I realised that I would be talking to my mother again – and soon. I could again feel myself getting warmer, with my heart beginning to race very quickly.
‘Things are a little better with your Mum and me,’ I responded in not very convincing tones. I really had no idea how to answer her. I had no idea if she knew what had really been going on. Did she know about Sarah?
‘I hope so. I don’t like it when you are both fighting - I love both you and Mum.’
I took a deep breath; I couldn’t believe I was having this conversation ‘I know darling it’s…it’s not been very fair on you.’
‘Granny is here. Right, bye then.’
Before I could answer or even think to myself I immediately heard my mother in a very stern voice, ‘I just hope that you really heard what your daughter has just said to you Martin.’
‘Of course I did. Hello mum, how are you, it’s been a while?’ as I finished my response I could feel my mouth becoming very dry. It was so damn strange, I could remember her funeral as though it were yesterday, and there she was mouthing off at me over what I had done to Caroline and Pauline.
‘We are all fine, which is a lot more than I can say for you and Caroline. So tell me Martin, when you come to collect Pauline tomorrow, what kind of a home will she be going back to? The war zone that she left? The war zone that you alone created!’
‘It will be okay Mum, we are working this out…’
‘Are you Martin? I really hope that you mean what you say, I really do. I still find it difficult to come to terms with what you did to poor Caroline. If it had been me, I would have thrown you out. Your father is still so angry with you that he is making a point of not going to be here when you arrive tomorrow. And as for Pauline, well I just hope that you have really thought things through, I really do.’
‘Look Mum, I know I have created this situation, but we are working this out.’
‘So you keep telling me. Look I’m not going to talk about this anymore, and just now I have nothing else to say to you. You just think about how many people you are upsetting Martin – and get it sorted out.’ And the phone went dead - she had hung up on me!
I could feel myself smiling and shaking my head, almost as if in disbelief as I stared down at the now silent phone sitting in my hand. I just sat on the edge of the bed, starring at the open door for what seemed an eternity. I could feel a tear roll down my cheek, I wasn’t sure why. I suppose it must have been because I had heard my mother’s voice again. It’s funny, after everything that had been said to me I was actually feeling guilty about what had happened. I don’t know why, I knew I hadn’t done anything wrong - it had been the other Martin. I got myself up and closed the door. After turning the light off I climbed into bed and began to think back on my roller coaster day.
My first real memory was back in the office and what happened between Sarah and myself. It was really strange, I felt absolutely fantastic when we were having sex, and even for sometime afterwards I still felt on top of the world. I can even remember being amused at the thought of returning to my own world and then telling the real Sarah what we had done. How could I have thought such a terrible thing? I couldn’t tell her that, not only was it going to be very embarrassing for her, but for me as well. What the hell had come over me, and just what would I say when I returned? I would worry about that then; as far as I was concerned I had a lot more to worry about right then.
What on earth was tomorrow going to bring? It could only get worse for me, far worse. I could see me having to go through the motions once again with Caroline. It was pretty obvious that she despised me, and I could only guess that she had caught Martin and Sarah in bed together. How else would she have known about it? As far as I could see, the only reason that they were still under the same roof was because of Pauline. There was really nothing left for them, not now.
Then of course I would have no idea where I was to drive in the morning, and once that little problem was resolved we would then be in the same car together. What would we talk about? It was going to be hideous, and just thinking about it was making me cringe. Assuming that she had not killed me en route, I would then come face to face with my daughter. Talking to her on the phone was difficult enough, but trying to act as a father to her, for real? How was I going to pull that one off?
I would also be coming face to face with my mother, once again. Under any normal circumstances anybody given this once in a lifetime opportunity would be overjoyed. But this was different, I could tell by the anger in her voice that tomorrow was going to be very unpleasant. I could picture her waiting for me with a rolling pin. Tomorrow was going to be bad, and I knew it.
I turned over in the bed to get more comfortable, and within a few minutes I could feel myself falling off to sleep. I really hoped that when I did awake, that it would not be in the same room. The sooner I could escape and return to my own reality the better – for everybody.