Lady Pamela had more brains than to join Billie in her venture. She could hardly snare a rich gentleman from the hallowed halls of a whorehouse. Instead she chose to stay at the Jackson Plantation with Jennifer until an opportunity presented itself.
Nicholas was uneasy about the number of rag-tag soldiers passing through on their way to Virginia, so provided Brute with a rifle and ammunition to prevent any looting of Paradise. He gave Samuel a pair of pistols and asked him to keep them loaded at all times to ensure Amanda's protection.
He saw that there was gold in the safe, and again told his wife that if he was detained and the household needed money, she was to contact Gabriel DuBose, his Charleston banker.
The day before Nicholas left for his last trip to England he arose early and inspected the fields. Since the cotton would be ripe before he returned, he left Brutus in charge of gathering the crop and storing it for the future.
As he returned to the house, he spied Mandy on the upper gallery. She had come out into the morning sunlight in her nightgown, and he was held in thrall. He came and stood beneath her. "A true Goddess of the Dawn."
She laughed down at him.
"I want to spend the whole day with you, but don't get dressed yet. I'll be right up."
Thinking he wanted to make love, she obeyed him implicitly and stayed where she was.
He came out onto the gallery and swept her into his arms. As he carried her into their bedroom he whispered, "Will you indulge me in one of my fantasies, Mandy?"
She brushed her lips across his mouth. "You know that I will."
"Wear that pale green batiste dress, but don't put anything underneath it. When I look at you, I want to know that you're naked beneath your gown."
She laughed. "Is that what men fantasize about?"
"Yes," he told her softly. He watched avidly as she pulled the filmy material over her bare breasts and let it fall over long, slim legs.
"Let's go down to the kitchen and pack a picnic basket." She took his hand and led the way. Like thieves they raided the larder, guiltily realizing food was becoming scarce. They stole corn bread and smoked ham, two peaches, and a sweet-potato pie.
Mammy Lou spied them on their way out the kitchen door. "Y'all better take yore parasol for protection."
Mandy favored her handsome escort with a sidelong glance. "I'll need more than a parasol for protection against him."
"Ah mean de sun. It sure is hot today."
"Don't worry Mammy, I'm dressed very coolly."
Her husband's arm stole about her to capture a soft, round breasts as they strolled toward the reflecting lake. He helped Amanda into the flat-bottomed boat, then he poled them from the shore.
She lay back beneath her parasol and watched him. "You do that very well."
"I had lots of practice on the Thames with a real punt. They are pigs to steer and hell on the ankles."He removed his shirt and sat down to row them to the far end of the ornamental lake.
Her eyes wandered over his bronzed skin. The sunlight reflecting from the water turned him golden as it rippled over his muscled torso. His maleness cried out to the female in her.
They passed under the bridge and glided into the secluded wildlife refuge. They were very still, only the plash of the oars gently dipping disturbed the solitude. It's so beautiful here, it's otherworldly.
As she watched a white egret with delight, Nicholas gazed at her beauty. He saw her breath catch as a heron flew up into a cypress, and saw how the ruffled dress clung to the curves of her body. He clenched his hands on the oars to stop them from removing her gown.
He rowed out into the Ashley and along the bank to a small cove that formed a leafy bower. There he lifted her from the boat onto the grassy bank, then went back for the basket of food.
She stretched yearning arms wide to him, shuddering her great longing.
His blood surged as he stooped and caught her in his arms. His warm breath touched her throat and he could feel his great love for her trembling in his heart. His hand found its unerring way beneath her skirts to stroke and caress each bare thigh, and what lay between.
"Sweet, darling love, I want you so."
She let him remove her gown, then lay stretched upon the grass in invitation.
He played with her until her pleasure grew so intense, she begged him to stop.
"I will, after I've seen your body's love-blush."
"What do you mean?"
"When a woman is fully aroused, legend says a deep pink blush spreads across her body. There! My God, it's true," he marveled.
"Take me. Take me now."
He towered above her, shuddering with desire.
The moment his shaft touched her she turned to fire. He had aroused her to a lovely madness. In a frenzy she cried the words he loved to hear, and he whispered all the special love words he gave to her alone. He knew how much she could endure and when she reached her peak, he gave her long, slow, shuddering release.
Love gave them an appetite and food had never tasted so delicious as it did today. He fed her the peach, and between bites tasted the sweet nectar on her lips.
They caught sight of the lily pads at the same moment. "Remember that terrible day you were bitten by the snake?"
"That day when you put your mouth on my groin, it was the most erotic moment of my life."
The dimples peeped out. "Is the scar still there?"
He nodded.
"We could do it again."
He groaned. "That dress has to come off again. It's the most arousing thing in the world to know that beneath it you are naked."
Later, as they lay drowsing in the sun, he told her of a beach he'd seen up the coast past Murrel's Inlet. "It's hard to believe that the lovely warm water is part of the same ocean that surrounds England. I love our warm Carolina sunshine and hate the cold Atlantic shores on the other side. I'm going to take you up to that beach when I get back. It goes on for about twelve miles. It's truly a paradise, filled with beautiful shells and sea birds. It's so secluded we could spend a week without seeing another soul. Just think, a whole week... naked!"
They tried to hold back the sunset, but as all other glorious days, it too ended. The memories of this one however would last them a long time.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Amanda was amused. Jennifer must have a second sense about Nicholas. He's only been gone hours, and here she is back at Paradise.
"There's absolutely nothing left to eat at home. Mammy, would you be a darlin' and get me some hot chocolate and croissants?"
"Chile, der ain't no chocklit in de whole South. Ah git yo' some milk an' corn pone."
Jennifer turned to Amanda. "It would have been much better if that Pamela had gone back to England. I have decided she is an unscrupulous woman. All that unpleasantness when Nicholas came home was her fault, I hope you realize. Now she's gone off with Daddy to Richmond, and him such a sweet, unsuspectin' man. He doesn't realize she's after his money."
Amanda smiled. "Jenny how you do run on. Bernard Jackson may be many things, but sweet and unsuspecting he is not. I imagine they'll both get what they want from each other. Don't fret about Daddy's money. He's in no hurry to marry her."
"Amanda, I declare you are turning into a cynic."
Amanda's lips twitched. "Recent events have caused me to take off my blinkers and see things... and people... as they really are. Forgive me for being critical Jenny, but you have a habit of pretending unpleasant things never happened, and you assume if you ignore them long enough, they'll go away."
"I'm sure I don't take your meaning."
"Yes you do. This business of Beau must be settled."
"I never want to hear his name again," Jenny declared passionately.
"In that case I think we'd better visit Mrs. Hampden and you can explain that you are quietly calling off the engagement. You can't let everyone think there's going to be a wedding when there isn't."
"You'll come with me?" she asked hopefully.
"Of course I will. Come on, let's get it over with. We'll ride over."
The two girls never got to say their piece. When they arrived at the magnificent plantation house they learned with horror that a dispatch had informed Mrs. Hampden that her son had been killed as his troop had crossed into Maryland. It informed her that she could take pride in the fact that the Union was routed.
The lady sat dazed. Julia Hampden was in hysterics, mainly because she did not know the whereabouts of her new husband, Ty Caldwell. Clay was angry and couldn't stop the profanity from spilling out.
Jennifer Joy had enough common decency to keep her mouth shut about Beau, and the mother and the fiance of the dead young cavalry officer clung together as the shock of it all sank in.
Amanda took Clay apart from the women. "Clay love, I'm so very sorry, but you mustn't keep threatening to go and teach those bastards a lesson. Now that this has happened, and your daddy's off fighting, don't you realize it would kill your mother if she lost you too? Right now she needs a man's strength, Clay. I know it's hard, but it will take more maturity and courage to stay home and take over here, than it will to go running off and joining the Cause."
Later at home, Amanda made Jennifer rest on the chaise. She poured a measure of corn liquor and urged the pale-lipped girl to drink it straight down.
Jennifer's hand trembled. "Oh Lord God, Mandy, I'm so glad I'm not Beau's wife."
Amanda put her arms about her sister, then drew back in disbelief as she heard her say, "I'd have to wear hideous black mourning again. Thank heaven I've been saved from that."
But Jennifer's troubles were not over. Within a month she sought out Amanda and swore her to secrecy. She carefully checked the hallway outside the bedroom door, then closed and locked it. In hushed tones she said, "Cross your heart and hope to die Mandy, that you will never reveal what I tell you?"
Amanda, fearing the worst, nodded her head and sat down quietly.
"I'm in a fix, Mandy. I'm having a baby."
Amanda's eyes went wide. "Are you sure?"
Jennifer nodded quickly. "This is one thing for certain sure won't go away if I ignore it."
"Well, we'll just have to give it out that you and Beau were secretly married."
"Are you lunatic? I can't have this baby. Why no man would ever marry me, and Mandy you know the scandal would just kill Daddy!"
Amanda sighed wearily. "Who knows about this, Jenny?"
"Absolutely no one. Not even that nosy Mammy Lou."
"Jenny honey, I'll bring up the baby with my own. Nicholas is such a good man, I know he'll agree.
"No Mandy! No, no, no! I'm going to get rid of it. You have to help me."
Amanda bit her lip and said slowly, "I think you are wrong Jenny. But in my heart I don't think any woman should be forced to have a child she doesn't want. It has to be your decision and nobody else should have a say in it."
"Get something from Old Jessie."
"You'll have to do that yourself."
"I can't-- she mustn't know its for me. The darky grapevine is the fastest way to spread gossip across the whole county."
Nicholas is due home any day. If he hears of this, he will forbid it. Mandy hoped fervently he would be home this week. On top of Jenny's problem, the cotton was ready to be picked, and his return would relieve her of the responsibility of overseeing it. As well, the fields of potatoes and corn she had planted at Jackson Plantation needed harvesting. She knew she would have to organize the house servants to help her, as there was no one else to do it. Already she had picked one crop of peas and put them to dry, and a second crop was ready.
She went out on the balcony to glance worriedly at the sky. If a storm was coming, she'd never have the courage to harvest the potatoes. She saw a man coming toward the house. "Rafe! Rafe Collins!" she cried happily. She flew down the stairs to meet him, hair flying in disarray. Wherever Rafe is, Nicholas is never far behind.
She saw the pain in his eyes and stopped dead on the bottom stair.
Rafe opened his mouth to speak and closed it again.
Instinctively she put out her hand to ward off the evil tidings.
He came and stood before her and reached for her hands. "Mandy, I'm sorry," he said hoarsely. He saw her lovely pink mouth tremble and the golden eyes took on a queer glitter. She gripped his hands until her nails dug in painfully.
"Tell me!"
"We formed a convoy when our ships met up with the Alabama. We hadn't arrived in England yet, we'd just entered the English Channel from the North Atlantic. A Union warship had been following the Alabama from Cherbourg, France. The minute we entered the Channel it opened fire. It was a terrible battle. The Alabama and the Rattlesnake went down. I was lucky-- there wasn't enough damage to sink the Hornet." Rafe paused and took a deep breath before he continued. "The water was full of men. Everything was a mass of confusion. The Alabama alone had a crew of a hundred and fifty. There was an English yacht, the Deerhound, rescued forty men to Southampton, but Nicholas wasn't among them, Mandy. The Union ship Kearsarge picked up about seventy prisoners, but Mandy love, there were many men unaccounted for. Many missing and presumed dead."
"No," she whispered. "He hated the cold water of the Atlantic. I hope they took him out quickly, even if he is a Union prisoner."
"Honey... the Union issued a list of prisoners they took from the sea. Nick's name wasn't there."
"Rafe, I have to believe he's a prisoner," she said wildly. "The alternative is unbearable."
"Well, there's always a slim chance," he found himself lying to her.
Amanda felt herself going down into a vortex and she tried to grasp onto something, but it was thin air. She felt strong arms lift her and a voice from a great distance called out, "Lou!"
As her eyes closed she told herself that Nicholas was home. Deep sleep protected her both physically and mentally, and she didn't awaken until the next day.
Her heart constricted sharply as her memory flooded back. She turned her face to the wall in an effort to block out everything and everybody, but slowly it came to her that such behavior would defeat her. While there is hope, while there is breath in my body, I must try to find out if Nicholas is alive.
Amanda bathed and went downstairs. The whole household was shocked to see her up and about. They had expected her to be shattered.
"Mandy baby, yo' git back t'yore bed an' ol' Mammy bring yo' breakfast."
"No, Lou," she used the name Nicholas always used for Mammy, "there are things that must be done without delay. Rafe, could you do me a great service and take a message to my father in Richmond?"
"Of course, Amanda. Your father has such good connections with Congress and the army, he may be able to find out if Nicholas is in a Union prison. Write the letter and I'll take it today. I'll tell him everything that happened that day."
Within the hour, Rafe departed and Amanda sat looking out the window and remembering the harsh words she had exchanged with Nicholas. Paradise isn't big enough for both of us, he had said angrily. How prophetic his words were. She began to cry and the servants left her alone. Suddenly she stopped.
My God, if I sit here doing nothing, I'll drown in tears.
"Lou, get Cleo and Fanny, yes and we'll need Porter too. I already know I can count on you, Samuel. Those garden crops at Jackson Plantation need gathering. Samuel, we'll need shovels and pitchforks and burlap sacks. It will take us days. I think there are yams, turnips and some yellow squash growing over there too. We've got to keep some of these things for ourselves, I know there are hard times coming."
The servants exchanged glances, wondering if the news of Nicholas's death had unhinged her mind, but they went off to get the things she had ordered.
Amanda's glance fell on Jennifer who huddled on a settee with her arm flung over her eyes. "Jenny, I'm sorry, I clean forgot about your trouble."
Jennifer let her arm fall from her face. The movement showed hopelessness and defeat. She looked at Mandy. "Well, what now? We're both in th
e same damned boat and it's sinking fast. Both our men are dead and we're both in a fix."
Hot words of denial rose to Amanda's lips, but she bit them back. How cruel it would be to say Nicholas might be alive, when there is no hope for Beau. "I'm going to the Jackson Plantation to get the garden crops in. I'll get the stuff from Jessie today while I'm at the cabins."
"Don't say it's for me, Mandy," Jennifer pleaded.
"No, of course not. Under the circumstances, Jessie will think I want it for myself."
"No, ah will not!" Old Jessie looked majestically down her wide nose. "Furst yo' wants a love potion t'make a baby, now yo' wants a hate potion t'kill it."
"I'll slap you flat if you don't give it to me," Amanda threatened.
Jessie just looked at her for a long time.
Amanda, her nerves screaming, sat down, suddenly very tired. "Jessie, my son was conceived in love. I would never do anything to harm him. He's part of Nicholas, perhaps the only part I will ever hold in my arms again. Having said all that, I still ask you for something that will abort an unwanted child. Trust me, Jessie, it's not for me."
Jessie weighed Amanda's words, then grinned. "Yore pretty sure it a boy, ain't yo'?"
"I'm sure," Amanda said simply.
Jennifer took the potion and stayed in her room for a whole week, keeping secret the terrible ordeal between herself and her sister.
When Mammy Lou and Cleo complained that Jennifer should be helping harvest the vegetables, Mandy said, "Leave her be. It's delayed shock from Beau's death. If we let her rest awhile, she'll be just fine."