The downstairs at Madam Billie's at street level was a barroom. The little trio that entered the bar that midday was not as incongruous as one might have thought. In these bad times beggar women came every day, and it was seldom that Billie turned them away empty-handed.
Gold and Silver were bar men, who also kept the place free of anyone who became too drunk and rowdy, so word went instantly to Billie that the ladies from Paradise were there.
Billie waddled out and ushered them into her private parlor behind the barroom. She didn't climb stairs unnecessarily, and as Entremetteuse of the establishment, needed to be constantly on the scene.
Jennifer sank wearily into a soft chair and Amanda lifted Nicholas onto the safe where he sat round-eyed, fascinated by the fat lady.
Billie nodded. "Well, well, who is this then?" She answered her own question. "He's got his daddy's eyes. I heard Nicholas had been reported drowned, but that you were hoping he'd been taken prisoner. I see you never found him."
"No," Amanda said sadly. "Billie, we want to get away to England, can you help us?"
The old woman nodded her head rapidly while she thought. "All the captains come in here to drink. We'll arrange something. There's still a few left who run the blockade."
"I have the diamonds Nicholas gave me," Amanda said hopefully.
Billie's head bobbed more rapidly at this piece of information. "You all rest and I'll send for some soup. We've always got soup on the stove at Billie's."
"Thank you Aunt Billie. I have no one else to turn to."
The old woman stretched out her pudgy, ring-filled hand to Amanda's knee, and chucked Nicholas under the chin.
Jennifer spoke up in a frightened voice. "We want to go today, Aunt Billie."
A few more rapid nods before she left the room assured the girls that she would do whatever she could. Amanda carefully unstitched the diamonds from inside her drawers and hid them under the cushion of the chair. They each had a bowl of soup, and Nicholas drank two. Then they patiently sat and waited out their vigil.
At about three o'clock in the afternoon, Billie returned to the sitting room. "There's a seaman in the bar who says he can arrange a passage for you. Come on and bring the necklace."
Amanda thrust it into the pocket of her smock and followed Aunt Billie.
The man was of middle age with a barrel chest and a thick beard.
Billie said, "This is Pierre."
Amanda peered at him closely. Does Billie expect me to trust this man? She found her voice. "Can you get us through the blockade and take us to England?"
"You have diamonds?" he asked, holding out his hand.
Amanda showed him the necklace and he readily agreed. "We leave on the midnight tide, but it's a long carriage ride to where the ship's hid. Be in the bar at ten o'clock." He grabbed the necklace and slipped it into his breast pocket.
"No! Leave the diamonds with me. How do I know you will be back for us?"
"This old bitch would have me tracked down and my throat slit if I double-crossed her. Don't worry, someone will be here for you."
She looked to Aunt Billie who nodded as usual. Amanda realized she hadn't much choice, for clearly the man had no intention of handing the necklace back to her.
The next six hours were the slowest Amanda had ever endured. It felt as if she counted each tick of the clock. By nine o'clock the little trio sat ready in the bar so there would be no chance of being missed, if by some remote chance the man returned for them.
At nine-thirty a bearded man entered the barroom, and Amanda examined him closely. "Rafe!" she burst out. "Oh Rafe Collins, I've never been so happy to see anyone in my whole life!"
"Mandy, Jenny, whatever are you doing here in this place?"
"We're waiting for a passage to England. I gave a man the diamond necklace Nicholas gave me in exchange for our passage tonight, but I'm afraid we'll never see him again."
"Sweetheart, it's all right. I'll take you."
Tears of relief flooded Amanda's eyes and she felt her knees sag beneath her own weight.
"Providence must have sent me here tonight. We'll catch the midnight tide." Rafe finished his drink and hoisted Nicholas to his shoulder. Jenny and Amanda had a hard time keeping up with Rafe's long strides as he walked down Calhoun Street to the waterfront. He helped them down some water-steps and into a small sailboat. The cold wind ruffled their hair and Amanda bent her body close to her child's to shield him as much as she could. The sails filled and Rafe tacked quickly into the wind.
The night was dark and Amanda saw only a strip of shoreline and tall water reeds, then they were out of the sea and into a river, but where they were she had no idea. The little boat seemed to run with the tide, then suddenly the dark hull of the Hornet rose up beside them and many hands helped them aboard. There were no lights on deck and they had to feel their way along, guided surely and safely by Rafe. The port holes were blacked out for safety, but he allowed them one small candle in the cabin he assigned them.
"I'm sorry we can't light any lamps, but the Union patrol boats are everywhere. This cabin only has two bunks, so you'll have to share with the little one, honey. If you hear gunfire, don't be too alarmed. Just don't shout or cry out and I'm pretty sure we'll get through. Go straight to bed and we'll talk in the morning. Goodnight Jenny; goodnight, Mandy love."
"Goodnight," she whispered, "I don't know how to thank you."
It was three weary heads that lay in their bunks aboard the Hornet. Amanda listened for her son's deep breathing that told her he was safely asleep, then she relaxed and drifted to the edge of sleep herself. The last thing she heard was Jennifer's voice. "I believe Rafe Collins is a rich man!"
When morning arrived and Amanda opened the portholes, she realized just how richly appointed the Hornet was. The cabin was lined with red, polished mahogany and the fittings were gleaming brass. An Oriental carpet fitted wall to wall, and there was a built-in wardrobe boasting a full-length mirror on its door. There was a dressing table and cozy arm chairs bolted against the wall and piled with luxurious cushions.
Amanda whistled appreciatively, but Jennifer for once in her life was not interested in a man's worth. She was suffering from acute mal-de-mare . "I'll die if the ship doesn't hold still!"
Amanda ventured on deck and saw Rafe striding toward her.
"We'll be in Nassau tomorrow. Are you ready for breakfast?"
"Oh I am, I am, and my poor little Nicholas must be starved. Do you have enough food for us?"
He laughed. "Before this voyage is over, I hope to put all your curves back." As his bold eyes swept over her slight figure, she blushed and felt shy.
"Jennifer is seasick. Is there anything I can do to help her?"
"I'll send some dry biscuit and wine. She'll be fine after a couple of days. Take Nicholas to the galley and eat your fill, Mandy."
She couldn't get over the food. There was coffee and tea and chocolate with real sugar. There was ham and eggs and hush puppies and grits. An assortment of fruit and jam and biscuits made her mouth water. She watched Nicholas carefully so that he didn't overload his stomach with the unaccustomed rich food.
Back in the cabin she tended Jennifer with gentle hands. She urged her sister to nibble the dry biscuit and sip the wine, while Nicholas played contentedly with the wooden stopper from the wine bottle.
It was mid-afternoon before Jenny settled down to peaceful slumber, so Amanda took her son up on deck for some fresh air. The sun shone brilliantly on the waves and the air was soft and warm. Rafe waved and beckoned for her to join him on the forecastle, as he stood at the great ship's wheel.
She watched him with pleasure. Sailing was second nature to this man, like breathing. His open-necked shirt had had the sleeves cut away for freedom of movement, and as his sure hands lightly gripped the wheel, the muscles of his arms stood out, brown and hard. She breathed in the salt tang and shouted, "I feel as if a great burden has been lifted from my shoulders."
"Take supper with
me tonight," he called into the wind.
She nodded her assent. "After I put Nicholas to bed."
"Not tired," the child insisted.
She laughed down at him and hugged him to her tightly. It felt good to be alive and free.
That evening, Amanda felt guilty as she changed her dress and donned the only other one she now owned-- a plain gray with white collar and cuffs. Jennifer had managed some clear broth and simply wanted to be left alone, so when Nicholas finally lowered his black lashes to his rosy, windswept cheeks, she slipped from the cabin, down the narrow gangway to Rafe's cabin.
It was spacious and so well-appointed, that if it were not for the roll of the deck beneath your feet, you would not have known you were aboard ship. A small table and two captain's chairs were bolted to the floor, and as Rafe drew her into the cabin, a young sailor brought in a huge tray filled with silver warming dishes, then quickly departed.
"Come and sit. Tonight we shall do more than eat, we will dine." He lit candles, and when he removed the cover from the first dish, the delicious aroma of lobster bisque teased her senses until her mouth watered. Mounds of Spanish rice garnished with black olives tempted her to take a large portion.
"I can't believe it's been over two years since I've seen you. You look even younger than you did then," he marveled.
"You never came back for the cotton..." she began.
He laughed. "Cotton? I found a more profitable cargo than cotton to take out of the South."
"What?" she puzzled.
"Her citizens were willing to trade their great wealth for safe passage."
"Ah." She thought privately that there was something immoral about such dealings. It was taking advantage and exploiting people's fear to pay any price for deliverance, as she had done. When she glanced up, he was watching her.
"I always loved to watch you eat, Mandy." His voice was intimate and he caressed her name as it fell from his lips.
"I... think I've had enough to eat." As she arose, he was beside her in an instant, helping her from the chair.
His arms swept about her and he bent his head to claim what he'd desired since the day she had become his friend's wife.
Amanda swayed close to his body. Ah God, to have a man's arms about me again makes me feel safe and secure and protected. It was a feeling she'd not had in years. As her resistance melted, she was a little shocked at herself. Am I so starved for affection I will fall into a man's hand like a peach ripe for the plucking? Was it so very wrong to want to be loved? And yet, if it was right, why did she feel so guilty?
She pulled away and he let her go with a whispered, "Go and look in that cabinet. It's filled with delicious things. Brandy, liqueurs, wine. Pick us out something to drink. You'll find chocolates, little pots of Russian caviar, all kinds of things to tempt you."
She opened the cabinet doors and ran her finger over the wine labels. Her thoughts were all in disarray. She knew Rafe desired her, and she also knew she'd been lonely and empty for a very long time. Her attention was caught by a lovely miniature carved chest with gold handles. She lifted the lid and there to her great astonishment lay her diamond necklace. She turned and he was beside her, reaching for her.
He had removed his shirt, and her eyes were drawn irresistibly to his left nipple. His breast had been pierced like a woman's ear and he wore a gold earring threaded through. It was so blatantly erotic, she gasped. Her eyes widened at his closeness. She pushed him away from her horrified. "You're nothing but a bloody pirate! You may have Nicholas's diamonds, but you won't get his wife!"
"Amanda, bellissima. Take the necklace back; just stay with me tonight?"
"The diamonds are to pay for our passage. That is all I want from you. Goodnight, Rafe."
In her cabin, she curled against the warm body of her son in the little bunk and drenched her pillow with silent tears. I don't want Rafe or anyone like him. I want Nicholas.
On the third day at sea Jennifer revived, and from the fourth day forward, Amanda had nothing to worry about as far as Rafe Collins was concerned. Jennifer occupied all his spare moments, and arrived back at the cabin later and later each night.
At first, Mandy worried that Jenny might get hurt. She didn't believe Rafe had marriage in mind. But when she saw her sister sporting a pair of ruby earrings, she realized that Jenny was likely getting what she wanted from the relationship, so she stopped worrying about her.
They arrived in England a few days after Christmas, and the weather was so cold there was snow on the ground. Amanda hated it, but Nicholas was delighted with the cold, white stuff.
Rafe Collins was gallant enough to see them safely to Peacock Hall in Kent.
Amanda held her hand out to him as they said their goodbyes.
"There is a sadness in my heart for what could have been, Amanda." Rafe brought her hand to his lips.
The dimples appeared as she smiled at him. "Rafe Collins, you are a philanderer and an incurable ladies' man. Any woman who gave her heart to you would lead a lonely life, for you never stay in one place long enough to put down roots."
"You're right of course," he said with a wink, "and who knows, our paths may cross again some day."
"If you go back to Charleston, please tell them at Paradise that you delivered us safely." She left him to say his goodbyes to Jennifer, and she stepped away from the carriage, took hold of her son's hand, and gazed with wonder at this great ancestral home where Nicholas had spent his boyhood. She was relieved when she saw Philip come down the front steps to welcome her.
"Mandy, thank God you are here. Come in and get warm." He ushered her into a magnificently furnished room with a roaring fire that threw off its warmth into every far corner. The Christmas decorations of holly and mistletoe still adorned the mantel and the doorways, and the whole house gave off a rich splendor of security. It had stood for a hundred years and would stand there in all its glory for at least another hundred.
The sight of each other loosened their tongues. Philip and Amanda couldn't stop talking and asking each other questions. They spoke of Nicholas, and he told her how he had hired men to investigate the incident of the two ships sinking, but their search was in vain.
She told him how she had sent Samuel to search for him, but he had never returned. Then she told him how finally she had received the letter from Lady Pamela.
"I've never heard from my mother since the day I left Paradise. I want you to tell me how you survived all this time through the long months of war."
"And I want you to tell me how you managed to build a new life for yourself, once you took the reins of your estate into your own hands."
Philip and young Nicholas liked each other instantly, and Philip made such a fuss of him, Amanda knew he would be spoiled terribly.
Jennifer was in seventh heaven. There were maids to do everything from the moment she opened her eyes in the morning, to turning down her bed at night, with a warming pan between the sheets.
There was a curiosity among Philip's neighbors and friends to meet the young American ladies, but before they could meet anyone, both girls needed complete new wardrobes.
Philip took Amanda to see Mr. Gardiner of Gardiner & Higgins to see if she could draw some of her late husband's money. Mr. Gardiner said it would all take time, but assured Amanda he would do whatever he could for her. Philip established a line of credit for her until some of Nicholas's funds were turned over to her, and subsequently all three of them were measured for new clothes suitable to the climate and the social circle in which they would now move.
Jennifer took to her new life like a duck takes to water. She was much sought after and became something of a social butterfly. She was found on a different man's arm almost every night of the week.
Amanda was slower to adjust to her new life. She spent long hours with her son, and a lot of the time Philip joined them. Once the sting left the winter and a hint of early spring could be felt in the air, Amanda spent time around Philip's well-stocked stables. She t
ook a great interest in the horses, as did Philip, and it was a strong bond they shared.
Philip promised that once the war was over and the blockade lifted, he would send for her beloved Miss Louise. Amanda was never as optimistic as Philip. She believed that Fate took a strong hand in your life, and often things never worked out as you wished.
Philip knew he wanted Amanda for his wife, but he also knew he must go about it very slowly and subtly. She was like a well-bred, high-strung filly who would shy off if he moved too quickly, or if he said the wrong word. He had to be content with her friendship, and gradually lead her to something deeper. Philip selected a special pony for Nicholas, and he and Amanda spent happy hours trotting him about the grounds that were now carpeted with daffodils.
Amanda loved nothing better than arising early, saddling up at dawn and taking a solitary gallop out into the Weald of Kent. In places, it was still wild country and she imagined it as it had been long ago, filled with wild horses leaving their hoof prints in the deep green sod where man had never yet ventured.
The English spring was invigorating, filled with a shimmering green like nowhere else on earth. Its weather was ever changing, filled with quick drenching showers, followed by brisk winds that blew away the bed-sheet clouds to reveal bright sunshine, then almost immediately the cycle would repeat itself.
The news from America said the South was going to surrender. Jennifer and Amanda had some sharp words over it. "I'm glad I'm not there to see it. I'm shamed to the bones whenever I think of bowing to the North," Jennifer declared.
"I'm in favor of anything that will save lives. There's been far too much bloodshed because the South was too proud to admit it was wrong," Amanda said quietly.