Chapter 2
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On that day in city center, Comrade Zero again saw the Horizontal Line and shouted, "Stay away, stay away! Horizontal Line! No, no! He is a minus!” As usual, Poor Zero was not heard until another slim number appeared and wailed, “Be careful! He will cut you if he touches you!”
The Horizontal Line stayed still, but the clamor of the fat numbers became louder.
Number One Hundred Eighty Thousand shouted, "You are very welcome here! Since you came here, our pain has reduced. Do you like sweets?”
Seventeen Million said, “Thank you for coming! I have become smaller, as if I were living in a Jacuzzi.”
One Million One Hundred could not walk, but after the Horizontal Line appeared, he quickly lost a hundred thousand and could stand again. “What a good boy you are! Please come a bit closer to lessen our pain!” He leaned over and whispered to the Horizontal Line, “Would you like me to make a some false teeth for you?”
“You know how to make teeth, too? But you said that you only knew how to pull teeth out” The Horizontal Line was surprised.
One Million said, "I know, but this is especially for the great men of Math City.” He cunningly continued, “No one must know! It is a great secret! Do not tell!”
The Horizontal Line was happy, but Professor Six said, “Please, no! I am going to become a zero and die! Please do not come any closer! I am a professor, and I would not like to become a worker that does not exist and in fact has passed away. Do you understand me?”
The Horizontal Line felt sorry for him and did not move. He did not know whether he should go forward or backward. The smaller numbers did not like him, but the fat ones did. “Come! Come here,” they shouted.
“Come here, come…” and “go away, go…” started suddenly.
The numbers gradually divided into two groups: slim numbers on one side and fat numbers on another side, and the Horizontal Line stood between them. Everyone was trying to overcome the others. The terrible quarrel grew hotter and hotter until someone cried, “What has happened? What is the brawl about?!”
The voice belonged to my Father, Vertical line in Horizontal position. People said, “We are from the plus family.” They call my father, “Vertical. H. Line”, and he has earned great respect among the people. In fact, my father made them respect him; otherwise, they would lose their position in society. For example, my father (Plus) had gathered many admirers around the avid boss, Seventeen Million, and he found customers for the sly confectioner, One Hundred Eighty Thousand. Also my father captured criminals for that deceitful dentist, One Million.
All Pluses have four heads; we can lie on the ground and slither in four different directions. We are bald and splendidly hairless, like frogs. Of course, instead of thorns, we have many hands. My father, Vertical. H. Line, uses his hands to help the people, or to add something to someone. We are generous helpers.
Poor tired Zero came over and said, “I was so unlucky, but since this minus arrived, I have been more miserable than ever.”
My father did not hear it, but I saw it and said, “I understand you.” Poor Zero was so surprised, “Oh my God, you can hear me? This is impossible because I do not exist…” even Zero believed Zeros did not exist.
Of course, poor Zero was right because only I could see, hear, and understand it. From then on, we have been friends, and poor Zero has never left me. I wish that it was a woman, so that I could marry her; but it is neither man nor woman, it means that it cannot do anything!
Professor Six then ran to us and told my father (Plus), “We are going to get killed if you do not come here.” Hearing that, my father joined the row.
The Number One Million was scared he might become fat once again. He started nagging and shamelessly told my father, “We do not want you here; we will try to get along without you. Stay away.”
One of the fat numbers shouted, “Yes, the Vertical. H. Line must go away. I am suffocating.”
But Mr. Six said, “The one who must not be here is the Horizontal Line.”
“He is right, minus should not be here,” One of the thin numbers shouted.
My father (Plus) became happier when he heard these words, but he angrily eyed One Million and said, “O, tricky, you should be ashamed of yourself. You would not even be a street cleaner if I was not here. You are a clown.”
One Million was about to answer my father (Plus), but at that moment, Seven Million, the boss of Math City, leaned forward with a sly smile, cleared his throat and began, “Folks, as president of Math City, I should say that we all live in Math City and must not fight against each other. There are a few problems, but we must find a real solution on the basis of bilateral agreements.”
One of the numbers said, “Okay… Of course… A great speech…”
The boss of Math City continued, “We clearly have profited from the existence of Mr. Vertical. H. Line (my father) in this city. Our enemies would have destroyed all of us if he had not been here. Oh yes, he was able to get and save large amounts of money for Math City.”
The slim numbers confirmed that was the truth, but the fat numbers only swore at the boss under their breath because what he was telling them was not to their advantage.
Seven Million the boss again cleared his throat. “We thank the Vertical. H. Line for the help, but… but…” Everyone was quiet, and all the numbers held their breath as they listened to their boss. “But most of us who have been damaged by the plus, do not want him” he pointed to my father “staying here.”
When my father heard these words, he got mad and swore at number Seven Million, who was nothing without my father. “You are stupid,” my father said to the boss, “Damn! You are a cow…”
Comrade Zero started to curse at the Horizontal Line, “You are a witch.” Of course, nobody could hear it except me because he was a Zero.
Professor Six yelled at the crowd of angry protesters --do not forget that he enjoyed being male-- “Shut up! As a professor, I am saying that the minus (The Horizontal Line) is an awful egoist. He is addicted to opium and has a serious caudal illness, which often makes him get violent.”
Someone asked, “What? Caudal illness! What do you mean?!”
The professor confidently said, “Yes, it is a dangerous illness in the tail that…”
Everyone started laughing. “The Horizontal Line does not have a tail, stupid!”
One Million said angrily, “This foolish professor is trying to trick us into thinking the Horizontal Line is a bad person.”
One Million the dentist shouted, “Parasitic professor, I will pull out your teeth!”
But Mr. Lovely Ten told him, “No. It is clear that you are parasitic with your fat body; you are becoming bigger and bigger every day, but we are dying slowly. I have fallen head over heels in love with Lady Fifty-One, but the Horizontal Line ruined my love.”
My father (Plus) came near him and said, “Surely I will help you to reach Lady Fifty-One. I will add you a few numbers from the body of one of the useless obese numbers.”
Upon hearing these words, Mr. Lovely Ten’s eyes lit up, “Oh, my God. Thanks…”
But the confectioner (number One Hundred Eighty Thousand) turned on my father, “It is loose talk because we have hardly tried to reach the position that we are now in. Yes, we want to slim down, but I will never give a part of my body to anyone! Not at all. I only give my body to my family, to my son, or maybe a bit to my daughter.”
One of the other fat numbers shouted, “Oh, that’s right, only to our son and maybe to our girls! No one else.”
But Lady Seven, who had the dream of being a senator, sadly told the fat numbers, “All of you have reached this position because the Vertical. H. Line helped you. I would never say such foolish things, and surely I would dedicate all my wealth to the poor if I could become a senator by helping him(plus). I am a democrat.”
My father (Plus) told her, “I wish I had helped you to become a senat
or. But it is not too late to do it.”
Lady Seven coquettishly covered her face with both of her beautiful hands, and looked at my father with her big blue eyes, but then she got angry with herself because she had let the others see her feminine feelings. She sadly said, “I was a man, but now I am a woman… oh, my God,” (again coquettishly)… “Mr. Vertical. H. Line, I promise you I will remain loyal to you if I can be a senator and a man again; and surely, yes surely I will dedicate all my wealth, Oh yes! I am democrat.”
Professor Six rudely said, “That is shameful. I used to be a woman. You are insulting half of the people on Earth. Women are so important in the new world. I am sorry that I have to live with you!”
One of the numbers shouted, “But you should be ashamed of yourself, Professor. We all know you are proud to be a man…”
My father looked at Professor Six and said, “Would you like to be friends with the Horizontal Line again?”
He quickly said: “never again.” And my father told him: “so shut up.”
Afterward, with utter impudence, they began cursing each other using the foulest language. You would have heard the voices of many animals, like donkeys, cows, goats, etc, if you had been at the center of Math City.
Bit by bit, the Horizontal Line and my father figured out what all this shouting was about, so both of them understood everything.
Finally, Seventeen Million the boss shouted, “This is not true… please be quiet.” At that moment, one of the slim numbers threw a stone at him, but the stone hit the Horizontal Line’s head, and he started bleeding.
In response to that stupid act, the fat numbers also started throwing stones at my father (Plus) and the slim group. The bloody quarrel got worse, as they threw stones at each other. Some stones hit the windows of the stores and houses and broke them. Everywhere, loud voices cried, “Ouch, my head! My eyes! My feet!” And some numbers at the corner were beating one of the numbers to death in the name of justice.
With the passions flaring up, some car tires were burnt, and 25th Street was destroyed. Although many of the stores had been closed, they were broken into and plundered.
Now maybe you will ask me what about the police. Well, unfortunately, Math City did not have any police. Please do not get me wrong; all the people of Math City knew how to use guns, as all groups had some pugnacious people. Math City even once organized a city police force, but soon a stupid quarrel started, and all the police officers returned to their own groups. Yes, their leaders again changed them into brawlers.
Anyway, when the city was full of injured numbers, the bloody quarrel ended. After the quarrel, the slim group carried my father (Plus) on their shoulders, shouting, “Our boss is the Vertical. H. Line!”
The Horizontal Line (Minus) sided with the fat ones. Oh yes, he joined the rich, who only would be friends with somebody or something if they could profit from it.
Finally, the city became quiet and stayed that way for a while. The thick black smoke of the burning tires blended into the darkness of the night and faded. The city was like someone who had faced an awful nightmare and was sweating profusely.