I drove steadily all day and just after sunset, stopped briefly at a petrol station made a few texts to Michael, to see about a catch up on the way, and planned to refuel the car, and myself.
As I filled the car, rolling my shoulders as I stood by the pumps, a motorbike pulled up ahead with a large, flaxen headed, Viking looking guy and a blonde petite girl in a light floral dress. The dress did not quite suit her somehow, looking far too casual for her grace. Her hair curled just slightly to frame her face and fell past her shoulder blades. It seemed windblown, but not messy. After she got off the bike she bent down to fix her shoe. As she ran her finger along the lip of her black ballet shoe she looked up and met my eyes. I suddenly realised I had been staring and turned my head away, focusing on my task. She had given the lightest smile, which I saw out of the corner of my eye, just before I turned away.
The Viking headed into the service station while she stretched her body and rolled her neck. She peered at me through her lashes, and had I not been slyly watching her myself, I would have missed it.
I eventually wandered in to pay, standing behind him. I thought Anton made me feel small. As I stood behind the 6 foot five brick wall called a man, I started to feel agitated so deserted the line in search of a Red Bull. I decided the extra caffeine could only help me get where I was going. By the time I made it back to the counter the bike was off and roaring. I looked absently out of the window as the clerk tried to offer me some 3 for the price of two deal and I slowly came back to where I was from my thoughts. I shook my head, paid and was off on the highway again.
I kept seeing the girl’s face. I wasn’t sure why. As the dark set in nicely, I turned the radio up, and kept my eyes on the road. I was thinking about the last few days. How happy I had been, how driven. Tickets, rings, images of Sarah and I on tour busses, sipping wine over dinner, sharing breakfast at a café. I let the images float through my mind, and I didn’t hate them. I was however pretty sure I hated her. She lied to me, smiled at me and said she loved me. She hung her arms around my neck at parties and looked at me like I was the only person in the world. I had had everything planned, and had no idea. She did though. She had an idea. A sucker to take her on holidays, buy her nice things, laugh with, maybe even dance with at parties, drive her places, cook her dinner. While she was carrying on with someone else, smiling with someone else, letting someone else do all those things I had done. I saw that image of her laying backwards over the couch, but her eyes were open, and she was smiling at me, instead of being shocked cracking her red lips over white teeth as she spoke: “Sucker….” she said.
I suddenly snapped to as a motorbike pulled up alongside me, roaring and revving to grab my attention. It was the Viking and the blonde. Both were smiling and looking straight at me. The guy made a gesture that could only mean he wanted to race, but I put my hand up and shook it side to side. No way was I piling that car up on the side of the road.
The girl looked at me and pouted her bottom lip out, to which I shrugged and the two of them laughed and launched off into the dark ahead. Her face stuck in my mind though. Pale, round, with high cheek bones under softly wide, oddly green eyes. When she smiled her teeth gleamed, white and perfect, behind blushing red lips. I kept driving. Another hour I could stop for dinner, another two after that and I would meet up with Michael. At least I could say hello face to face for the first time in months. That alone was worth the trip.