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OTHER YEARLING BOOKS YOU WILL ENJOY
SHREDDERMAN: SECRET IDENTITY, Wendelin Van Draanen
SHREDDERMAN: ATTACK OF THE TAGGER, Wendelin Van Draanen
SHREDDERMAN: ENEMY SPY, Wendelin Van Draanen
SAMMY KEYES AND THE HOTEL THIEF, Wendelin Van Draanen
I WAS A RAT!, Philip Pullman
THE CRICKET IN TIMES SQUARE, George Selden
NIM'S ISLAND, Wendy Orr
BLACK-EYED SUSAN, Jennifer Armstrong
BABE: THE GALLANT PIG, Dick King-Smith
THE FLUNKING OF JOSHUA T. BATES, Susan Shreve
WenDelin Van DRaanen
For my shredder-nephews, Bryan, Jefferson, and Kyle. And special thanks to Leslie Parsons for her help with research.
BRIAN BIGGS
For Cheryl and Michael, who never told me not to draw on things.
CONTENTS
1 Big News
2 Impossible!
3 Secret Knock
4 Meeting The Gecko
5 Joel the Mole
6 Time to Slime!
7 The Mole Tastes His Own Medicine
8 On the Set!
9 And … Action!
10 Hot off the Press!
11 The Mole Returns
12 Back to the Motherboard
13 Stowaway Gecko
14 The Boys Who Talk to Geckos
15 Scared Circuitless
16 Crazy Idea
17 Alvin Emerges
18 Out of Control!
19 National News
20 Bye-bye, Big Butt
21 E-mail #2,543
CHAPTER 1
Big News
I was in the middle of updating my Shredderman Web site when Dad barged through my bedroom door.
“Nolan!”
I shot straight up, banging my knee against the desk. “Da-ad!” I spun to face him. “Dad, you're supposed to knock!”
A month ago this would have been a mammoth problem. A month ago Mom and Dad didn't know that Shredderman—Cedar Valley's very own cyber-superhero—was just an ordinary fifth grader.
Me!
But my parents had discovered my secret identity, which turned out to be okay. They liked having a cyber-superhero son. So Dad barging into my room as I was working on my secret Shredderman site wasn't a problem.
It was just painful.
I rubbed my knee. “You know—K-N-O-C-K?”
“I know, I know,” Dad said. His head was bobbing like it was on the end of a big, boingy spring. He stepped outside my room and started making big knocking motions on the signs taped to my door.
DO NOT DISTURB!
Knock-knock-knock.
KNOCK !
Knock-knock-knock.
Shhhh … CONCENTRATING!
Knock-knock-knock.
Sometimes parents can be so annoying. I rolled my eyes and called, “Come in!”
Dad charged back in and sat on my bed.
His eyes were big.
His smile was practically cutting his face in two.
And he was bouncing.
Bouncing.
“You'll never guess what,” he whispered.
I had to laugh. “What?”
Boingy-boingy-boingy. He grinned. “I couldn't have come up with a better birthday present for you if I'd tried.”
“Stop!” I put up my hand. “I hate it when you tell me what my present is. It ruins everything!”
He froze, mid-bounce. “Even if that's how you get exactly what you want?”
“Yes! I'd way rather be surprised.”
“Oh,” he said, then started bouncing again. “Well, this isn't exactly your birthday present. It just happens to be happening on your birthday.”
“Da-ad!”
“Ready for a hint?”
“No!”
He picked up Sticky, my giant stuffed gecko, and shook it at me, saying, “Ay cha-wow-wow.”
“Da-ad!”
He bounced about two feet in the air, laughing like a madman. Then he whipped his sunglasses out of his pocket and put them on Sticky. “Hey, hombre,” he said in the worst Mexican accent ever, “Aaay'm comeeeeeng to your town. How would you like to meeeeeet me?”
“Da-ad! What are you talking about?” And then every hair on my body shot straight out. “Do you… ? You don't… I mean, they can't…”
Boingy-boingy-boingy, went my dad and Sticky on my bed. “Oh, yes they can, and they are!”
“But why? When?”
“That's my boy, asking the who, what, when, where, and why! A chip off the old block. A reporter's reporter! A fellow investigator! A man after my own—”
“Da-ad!”
“Sorry, champ. Sorry.” He cleared his throat and said, “The whole cast and crew of The Gecko and Sticky are coming into town to film back-to- back episodes. They think Cedar Valley's Old Town will make the perfect setting and have rented the entire Historian Hotel for four days. And because I'm the Gazette's number one reporter, I get to cover the event!”
“Wow!”
“And,” he said, leaning in, “I've arranged an interview with ‘The Gecko. ’”
“Really?”
“Uh-huh. On your birthday.”
“And I… I get to come along?”
“That's right! I told their publicity coordinator that it was your birthday and that you were a huge fan. She said, ‘By all means, bring him along. ’”
My jaw was dangling.
My eyes were bulging.
I looked at the giant The Gecko and Sticky poster on my wall and whispered, “I get to meet The Gecko?”
He put my super-sized Sticky aside and said, “Well, you get to meet Chase Morton, the boy who plays The Gecko.”
“Oh…oh, right.” I was still staring at the poster of him—blue jeans, T-shirt, baseball cap, shades—he was the coolest superhero ever. He didn't need some funny disguise. The Gecko was a regular kid just like me, only older.
Which had taken my parents forever to catch on to. I'd been watching the show for at least six months when my mom asked, “The Gecko's the boy? I thought The Gecko was the lizard.”
She was having this revelation in the middle of a really great episode.
“That's right,” I whispered, hoping she'd get the hint.
“But… why isn't the boy named Sticky and the gecko named The Gecko?”
“Mo-om!”
“I'm serious, Nolan! I don't understand this at all!”
I said really fast, “Sticky's named Sticky because he's a kleptomaniac. He steals stuff like crazy!”
“But I thought he was a good gecko.”
“He is. He's just got a bad habit.”
“But—”
“Mo-om! I'm trying to listen!”
“Okay, okay! I'll talk to you later.”
When she and Dad finally figured it out, they became fans, too.
Especially of Sticky.
You just can't help it!
“And Sticky,” my dad was saying as I stared at the poster, “well, I imagine he's largely computer-animated. I mean, there's no such thing as a talking gecko lizard, right?”
I looked at Sticky, grinning away on The Gecko's shoulder. I knew he wasn't real, but he sure seemed real on TV. And yeah, The Gecko's
the superhero—he's the one with the magic Aztec wristband that gives him powers. Like walking up walls, or disappearing, or super-strength… that sort of thing. But Sticky's the one who found the power-band and gave it to him in the first place. He's the one who's funny and sassy and smart. It's easy to forget he's just… animated. Or a robot. Or…
“Nolan?” Dad waved a hand in front of my face.
“Huh? Oh! Oh, right.” I scratched my head. “Computer-animated. Of course. Cool.”
After all, I love computers, right? Computer animation is totally cool.
Dad seemed a little concerned. “You okay, champ?”
“I'm great! This is so, so cool!”
“Sí, señor,” my dad said, ruffling my hair. “The Gecko and Sticky meet Shredderman.”
My eyes got big.
My heart started racing.
“You didn't tell them, did you?”
“'Course not! It's top-secret, I know that.”
I let out a deep breath. It was weird enough that my parents and teacher knew I was Shredderman. No way did I want a kleptomaniacal lizard to find out!
Or The Gecko.
After all, they were superheroes on TV.
I was one in real life.
CHAPTER 2
Impossible!
Bubba Bixby is someone I don't talk to if I can help it. He's big. He's mean. He's got breath like moldy onions, and believe me, he's not afraid to use it.
Bubba used to make fun of everyone and every-thing. Then I turned into Shredderman. I caught him in the act of bullying. And stealing. I posted his crimes, and his big butt, on the World Wide Web and challenged him to change his ways or pay.
My teacher, Mr. Green, says it's been a partial success. He says all the teachers watch Bubba more closely. He says Bubba is showing signs of maturing, and that if we keep working at it, someday we'll find the key to his kindness.
Ha! No matter what I do, Bubba still calls me Nerd.
Bubba still steals stuff.
Bubba still lies.
Which is why Bubba's Big Butt is still on the World Wide Web. It's the only revenge I've got, and as long as he's a jerk, that's where it's staying.
Then the day before my birthday, I saw Bubba at school and barely recognized him.
He was smiling.
Bubba has lots of teeth. Dirty, fangy teeth. And when he smiles, it's more like a big dog snarling. So normally when Bubba Bixby smiles, kids run.
But this smile was different.
It was… happy?
He was talking to his friends, Max and Kevin, acting like he'd just found a million bucks. His hands were waving in the air. His eyebrows were flying up and down.
His ears looked like they were trying to flap!
I wasn't the only one who noticed it. Kids all over the playground were staring. They were circling around him, a safe distance away. Nobody knew what to think.
Nobody had ever seen Bubba Bixby look like this before.
Then I heard Ian McCoy say to his friend Vinnie, “Wow… is that weird, or what?”
I did a few steps of my power-walk until I was right next to Ian. “What do you think's going on?” I asked him.
“Gotta be really diabolical,” Ian whispered.
“Yeah,” Vinnie added. “Maybe even deadly.”
“Whatever he's planning,” Ian said, “I hope I'm not on the receiving end of it.”
Then Vinnie snapped his fingers and said, “Hey! Maybe he's figured out who Shredderman is.”
Uh-double-oh! I tried to act cool as I asked, “You… you think so?”
“Yeah!” Ian whispered. “That must be it! What else would make the Bubmeister that excited?”
Ian and Vinnie walked off, leaving me to sweat bullets alone. What if they were right?
What if he'd figured it out?
What if this was my last day on planet Earth?
I watched Bubba a little while longer, then decided that there was only one way to find out.
I took a deep breath.
I snugged down the straps of my backpack.
Then I walked right up to Bubba and his friends and said, “Hi, guys,” pretending I was cool as dry ice. “What's going on?”
Bubba stared at me. “Who's this guy?” he said to the other two, pretending that he'd never seen me before.
“Dunno,” Max said. “But he sure looks like a…”
“Nerd!” they all cried together, then started laughing.
I'd never been so happy to be called a nerd in my whole life. It meant they didn't know! They didn't have any idea I was Shredderman.
I let out the breath I'd been holding and started talking really fast. “Hey, you don't have to call me names. You were just looking pretty excited, that's all. I thought it might be something, you know, great. Fantastic. Amazing! Maybe even awesome! Astounding! Or… or out of this world!”
Wow, I was a regular yapping machine.
Bubba thought so, too. “Shut up, Nerd.”
“Yeah,” Kevin added. “You sound like a stupid thesaurus.”
Both of Bubba's eyebrows shot up at Kevin. “Thesaurus? Thesaurus?” He hitched a thumb my way. “You sound like him, dork.”
Max said, “Kevvy was just tryin' to explain things in a way the nerd would understand.”
Kevin nodded like crazy, saying, “Honest! I ain't never even touched a thesaurus!”
Bubba shrank back down to Godzilla size and snorted, “Good thing.” Then he turned to me and said, “Now scram! You're ruining my good mood.”
So believe me, I started power-walking out of there. But then I overheard Kevin say to Bubba, “So go on. I want to hear more about meeting The Gecko.”
I came skidding to a halt and froze for a whole nanosecond. Then I threw my power-walk in reverse and asked, “Did you say you're going to meet The Gecko?”
“I said, scram!” Bubba shouted.
“Yeah!” Kevin added. “Scram, Nerd!”
“But… but… are you really going to meet The Gecko? How?” A crazy part of me wanted to tell them that I was going to meet him the next day. For my birthday!
Max leaned at me and said, “He'll figure out a way, Nerd. He's, like, his number one fan!”
I almost said, No, he's not! but then they all shouted, “Scram!” so I zoomed out of there.
But still, I couldn't believe it. This was impossible!
Or, at least, the weirdest thing since the discovery of quarks!
Bubba Bixby and I had something in common.
CHAPTER 3
Secret Knock
I've never had a big party for my birthday. My mom tried to make me have one last year, but I couldn't figure out who to invite. Trinity Althoffer is the only person who's halfway nice to me, but she's a girl. Besides, she's into horses, not computers. Or math. Or science.
Now that I think about it, I have more in common with Bubba Bixby.
Scary!
My parents always give me a really great pres-ent for my birthday, though. That's how I got my digital camera.
And my scanner.
And my bike!
They always take me someplace cool, too. Like bowling, or to an arcade, and once even to a theme park. I love roller coasters!
All those lateral G's.
Vertical G's!
Think about the science involved!
Roller coasters employ gravity, centrifugal force, momentum, and acceleration.
They're amazing!
The wildest roller coaster I've ever been on had five loop-de-loops and seven in-line twists. I thought for sure I was going to die!
My head was dizzy!
My body was shaking!
My stomach kept flying up in my ears!
But it turns out twelve inversions on a roller coaster was nothing compared to meeting The Gecko.
My stomach was so topsy-turvy I thought for sure I was gonna barf!
And that was before my dad picked me up at school.
I didn't tell anyone at school
where I was going. I was dying to, but now that I knew that Bubba wanted to meet The Gecko, it was way too dan-gerous to talk about!
If Bubba found out, he would want to pound me!
The only person I could have told was Mr. Green, but he was in Oregon, visiting his brother, who was having a heart operation. So I kept my mouth zipped at school, but it was hard! And when the release slip came from the office and our substitute, Miss Newby, told me I could go, I tripped over my feet and my seat and molecules of thin air racing out of there.
My whole body felt like it was going to burst!
On the drive over, my dad let me sit up front with him. I wouldn't exactly call it sitting, though. It was my turn to bounce around!
As we got near Old Town, Dad said, “Hey,champ. Take a deep breath, okay? He's just a guy.”
I tried, but my lungs were closed up tight.
“You've got your camera, right?”
I nodded.
“And your poster for him to sign?”
I nodded some more.
“So, relax. He'll like you fine.” He tousled my hair. “How could he not? You're a superhero, just like him!”
“Da-ad!”
He just laughed.
Cedar Valley has one fancy hotel, and that's where The Gecko was staying. The hotel's called the Historian, and it's part of a bunch of buildings that make up Old Town Square. Not that the Square is really a square, which has always kind of bugged me. It's more a U.
Mom says I shouldn't take things so literally.
Dad says I should look at the park area in the middle of the U because it's a square.
I say they should quit calling it something it's not.
Or build a fourth side.
Anyway, all the buildings in Old Town are wooden and connected with a big, wide, creaky walkway. The Historian is wooden, too, only it sticks way up in the sky. It's seven stories tall!
As we drove past, we could see people setting things up outside the hotel. There was a giant scissor crane!
Rolling dollies!
Big silver reflectors!
Lights!
Cameras!
Pretty soon there would be action.
I was looking all around for The Gecko. Was he there?
Dad was leaning across me, looking out my window, too. “Do you see him?”
“Not yet. Do you?”