“Wait,” I could hear it in his voice, and I knew I didn’t want to let him utter anything else. “I…had…a good time, too. Do you have plans for tomorrow?” His wishful thinking was a bad sign, and I knew my plan to get him out of the house to meet some, “Miss Wonderful,” had been too heavily veiled.
“Um, yeah, I have some things to do with the police, then I’m going to meet up with Max. I’ll see you later.” The inertia from my body trying to make its way to the garage door wasn’t enough to get him to release his hold on my arm. Not wanting to destroy any of the progress we’d made tonight, I opted to look at his hand rather than his face. “You’re going to have to let go.”
In barely more than a whisper, “Lauren, whatever I did wrong, I know I can fix it. I miss you. I miss us. Don’t leave.” The hopefulness in his voice was nearly unbearable, and I heard Renswa’s voice echo in my head again.
I couldn’t simply rip my arm out of his grasp, but knew that if he saw my eyes, he’d know there wasn’t even a glimmer of a chance for the two of us. He wouldn’t open his heart to another. I couldn’t tell him the truth about Max being my destiny, could I? Definitely, no. Seth was as straight-laced as they came, and if I shared with him anything I had learned from Rewsna, he wouldn’t believe it anyway.
I decided to give him as much truth as I thought he could handle, “Seth, you’re my best friend. I know that isn’t what you want to hear. I know you believe that isn’t enough. I also know there is someone out there who is the right girl for you - I’m just not her. I don’t want to fight with you. I don’t want to hurt you anymore than I already have. I want you still to be in my life…but as my friend.”
Acid seethed through his voice, “So, we’re just friends.”
Without warning, I grabbed his arm. “There is no just about it. We’re friends. I don’t understand why people always describe friendship as just anything. You have been so much a part of me for the last twenty-two years, give it a new name. Call me your comrade, your pal, your insignificant other, whatever you want it to be, except your girlfriend. Everyone, everywhere, has someone, whether they’ve found them yet or not. I know you hate it, but the someone I’ve found is Max.”
He half-smiled back at me. I realized my grip on his arm was excessive, when he snickered, “I like comrade. Maybe we can get matching license plates or something?” He must have been trying to make a joke. I released his arm, confident that his moment had passed, and he wouldn’t try again.
“Okay, comrade Seth, I’m going home. I had a great time tonight.” Without so much as a look over my shoulder, I walked straight to the door and left. When I hit the too warm air outside, I couldn’t help but release the breath I’d been holding. I told myself he just needed a little more time. He wasn’t damaged goods. He’ll be ready for her, whoever she was, in no time.
My parents were already in bed, and I was grateful that I didn’t have to relive my morning for them. I tiptoed to my room and slid silently into bed.