I forced myself to breathe. “I just slept with him. I didn’t have sex with him. I know I’m a humiliation to my family, but I won’t be one to myself.”
His eyebrows furrowed. “I wasn’t implying you’d done anything at all. I—”
I waved my hand. “What’s the difference? It doesn’t matter what you think of me. It’s already low enough.”
He didn’t argue, and I made yogurt parfaits. Clay came into the kitchen, groggy and adorable, looking for it. He leaned over and kissed my cheek, taking his breakfast. I brought some to Thomas, and I sat down next to Clay. In the other room, Keith yawned loudly, apparently waking up. He stumbled into us, swinging by to kiss my forehead before he grabbed his yogurt from the fridge where I’d stuck the ones I wasn’t sure would get eaten.
He flopped down at the table. “Morning.”
“You’re up?” Clay raised his eyebrows. “You okay?”
“I went to bed at one in the morning. Slept all night. Was losing anyway. Someone couldn’t sleep because of the wind. I came down to see her and ended up passing out. I’ll have to caffeinate tonight, but I loved sleeping when it was dark.”
“And with your arms all around Paloma, all night.” Thomas shot Keith a look.
Keith lifted his eyebrows. “Jealousy isn’t attractive on you.”
Clay finished his breakfast. “Now, now boys. Paloma doesn’t need to hear us bicker. Men share nicely where she’s from. She’s got another day with us here, thanks to the weather. We can show her a good time.”
Thomas pointed at me. “I was not implying before that you had done anything wrong with Keith. I am sitting here stewing over whether I said something wrong. I didn’t. You’re sensitive, and I get that, but don’t put it on me.”
Keith blinked rapidly. “What the hell did you say to her?”
“Boys.” Clay slammed down his hand. “It’s too early for this. Retreat to morning voices immediately. I’m not ready to make the peace yet. I haven’t had enough coffee yet.”
Thomas had hollered at me, and now they were all fighting. I couldn’t figure out which way was up or down. These were nice people, and being with me for one whole day had ruined their lives.
I held up my hand. “Please stop fighting.”
They all turned to look at me. I cleared my throat, and my eyes found the floor. “I apologize. This is all my fault. I destroy things. I’ll go back to my room, and I won’t bother any of you until tomorrow when we leave.”
“Oh this?” Clay ducked down until he found my gaze. “This is nothing. You should see us most of the time. It’s a constant bicker-fest. It’s how we love each other. Don’t go hide in your room.”
Thomas stood. “I’m not taking it back. I didn’t in any way insinuate you’re any kind of … I’m not even going to use the word.”
He stormed off muttering something.
“Hey, what is all the screaming about? Why can’t a guy pass out on his system and be left alone to sleep?” Quinn leaned on the second floor balcony and stared down at us. “Morning, P. Got plans for today?”
“Ah … no.” I shook my head.
“You look like you’ve been through a whirlwind this morning. Welcome to breakfast with my family. We cool off by lunch. It’s why I get up then.” He shrugged. “I’ve got some things to do today. Hey, could you make six sandwiches? Please?”
Quinn spoke so fast I wasn’t even certain what I had agreed to. But, okay. I nodded. The sandwiches I could do. That was on my list of things I might be useful at doing. I’d not eaten any breakfast, and I didn’t think I wanted any ever again if this was how mornings were going to go.
Clay patted my back. “Have fun with Quinn. I have no idea where he’s going to take you.” He leaned over and kissed my cheek. “I’ve got to get on the network and get papers to my client.”
Having spent the day before with Clay, I knew he did transactional exchanges—basically, paperwork to set up companies on Earth. He could do it over the networks from wherever he was located. Any planet, any spaceship, as long as he could get an open line.
Keith rushed over and kissed me on the temple. All of the little kisses were leaving me breathless. They were so free with their attentions.
“I loved holding you last night. Slept better than I ever have. You have the most adorable snore.”
My cheeks heated. “I don’t snore.”
He grinned. “If you say so. Have fun with Quinn. I’ll be here. I’ve got a project I need to get done. See you later.”
I got going on the sandwiches. They had meats and cheeses. He hadn’t specified what he needed, so I made a whole bunch of different ones.
Quinn bounded down the stairs and looked over my shoulder. “Oh, and get dressed. It’s raining and cold out there.”
I put on some of the clothes Clay had bought me the day before—a pair of jeans, which felt really weird since I hadn’t worn any in five years, paired with a blue sweater. I didn’t know much about fashion anymore, but the sweater tugged at curves. I took a deep breath. Was it too much cleavage? I didn’t have a choice. These were the clothes Clay had given me. It was this or the Initiate outfit again.
I shoved on my boots and a hooded jacket I’d found in the closet. When I came out, Quinn had the sandwiches in a brown bag.
Never before had I been so happy to have on a coat. He couldn’t see how tight my shirt was, and for that I was grateful. He took my hand and led me to the vehicle outside. I climbed up front. “Where are we going?”
“I have this passion project. We’re going to check on things.”
That was seriously cryptic. “Do I need to be scared? Because to be honest, I’m not entirely sure I can take any more scary situations.”
He shook his head; his smile was sweet. “This is about as non-scary as it gets, P. I promise. So tell me things. What did you used to do on Mars Station? How is it to grow up not on a planet?”
“I prefer space living, actually. I hate the change in weather; everywhere is so cold all the time. I hate being wet. I hate being freezing. I’m tired of living and dying based on the whims of the turning of a planet around a sun.”
He furrowed his brow. “Not all planets are like that. I mean, granted this one is. I wouldn’t want to have to live outside. You didn’t, though. At the Sisterhood you had a room inside. They were horrible. They beat you. I’m not downplaying that element. Just the weather …” His voice trailed off.
“They kept me outside a lot. And I slept on the floor on a thin mat with a thin blanket. I was very aware of the weather in my tiny little cell.”
Quinn clenched the wheel so tightly his knuckles turned white. “I’m sorry to hear that. I-I’m having a hard time with what happened for a lot of reasons. I’m glad you’re out of there, even if I would have preferred things to turn out differently.”
I stared at him. Quinn was very handsome; they all were. He had the McQueen blue eyes, the same that his brothers’ looked at the world through. His hair spiked up, seemingly naturally since I couldn’t see him coifing much. He had high cheekbones, and I wanted to reach out to touch them. Quinn wore black-and-white plaid flannel pants and a yellow collared shirt under a gray hoodie. If I’d been in a position to have a crush on him when I was young, before Rocky, I’d have crushed on Quinn. But then again, I’d have crushed on all of them and their piercing blue eyes.
He had sadness in his blue eyes, deeply set and long-standing. I’d seen it before, but I was used to it in older men. Men who got off ships on Mars Station, years of sadness evident in their gate and the set of their shoulders. But, it was always the eyes that brought sadness to my soul. What things had they seen? It wasn’t that they couldn’t be happy in the future. They could. But it was always there, shadowing everything.
Diana’s uncles and father sometimes showed it, too.
I shook my head. I couldn’t psychoanalyze Quinn. I’d never see him again after tomorrow.
We rounded the road and came to a stop at the end of a
long block. He passed me the brown bag with the sandwiches, and I followed him down the road on foot. We came to a small white house, and Quinn took the steps two at a time.
I followed him slowly, unsure of where we were and what we were doing here. With everything happening lately, I actually considered turning around and running back to the car. Instead, I stopped where I was and didn’t move. “Quinn.”
“Huh?” He turned around in front of the main entrance to the house. “What’s wrong?”
I pointed at the house. “Please tell me what we’re doing here or at least what this place is. I’m … unsure, and I’m not going a step further.”
Quinn frowned and came back to where I waited on the bottom step. “You can trust me. I-I thought you’d like what was inside as kind of a fun activity. I’d never take you somewhere unsafe. You don’t really know me yet, and out of all my brothers, I’m the oddest. I get it.”
“No,” I shook my head. “I don’t think that. But seriously, Quinn, I’m not going to be guilted into not knowing where I’m going because you say something meant to garner my sympathy.” I put my hands on my hips.
He raised an eyebrow. “Well done, P. Inside the house are five elderly widows who were out on the street because the Sisters bought the house they’d all lived in together after their husbands had died. I bought them a house, pay all the bills, and keep them fed and healthy. Once or twice a week I bring them something special. Today I was bringing them you. They like company. You’re smart, gorgeous, and nice to have around. They’d like it.”
The wind and rain batted at my hair. “If I go in there and it’s a bunch of old men gambling and having sex with hookers, I’m going to be really pissed. That five elderly women bit was really good.”
The rain beat down on him, too. The water raced down his face, and he did nothing to stop the drip. “It is. It also happens to be the truth.”
He offered me his hand, and I took it. “Kind of dumb for me to question your motives after I spent nights in your home.”
“Or maybe you’re instincts are just right on. It wouldn’t be beneath me to try a stunt like that to get you to do something. I like to win, pathologically.”
“Oh. Okay.” Good to know …
We walked in together, and sure enough there were five elderly women laughing around a table while they played cards. I grinned.
They all rose when we came in, each in turn letting out a shriek. They hugged Quinn like he was their favorite person on the planet, which he very well might be.
“Ladies,” Quinn finally got a word in edgewise. “This is Paloma Devereaux. She’s lovely and too good for me. Still, I thought maybe you could all talk me up a bit. Give me a fighting chance to win her heart.”
My face must have been bright red. “I …”
He winked at me. “Pathological, P.”
Even despite his strange, disconcerting introduction, I had a wonderful time with Quinn’s harem of old women. Despite his statement that he needed to be talked up for me, the opposite happened. I had no questions about what was going on as far as the widows went. They were making sure I was good enough for him.
He sat back in his chair and watched the whole thing with a grin on his face. By the end of the day, they knew where I was from, how I had been with the Sisterhood, why I had been with them—which shocked me that I once again confessed my bad behavior. Quinn’s ladies didn’t seem at all shocked. They dug even deeper. By the time I was done, they had learned that my best subject in school had been history and if I had a dream job it would be running my own restaurant.
I remembered the sandwiches and hurried to hand them out—they were a big hit.
On the way out, I elbowed Quinn. “That was some dirty pool. Letting them dig into my past for you.”
He held up two fingers. “Two birds. One stone.”
“Check on the women and get my information at the same time.”
He put his arm around me. “No, actually. The second part surprised me as much as anything. I thought they’d fawn over you. Guess I didn’t realize how much they’d get protective. Check on the ladies, spend the day with you. That being said, if I’d followed the steps, I would have predicted this. Not upset with the way it turned out.”
We drove back in silence, so when he abruptly stopped before we reached their home, I was once again left wondering what the hell Quinn had going on.
“Was that too much? Did I … scare you before we went by not telling you? I thought you’d like a surprise, a fun day.”
I placed my hand on his arm. “I had a fun day. You made me nervous, not scared. I used to love surprises. Maybe I’m not ready for them yet.”
He placed his fingers over my own. “Fair enough.”
We finished our drive to their home and got out of the car. Quinn grinned and pointed further up the hill. “Tommy must be checking on the shuttle.”
It was the biggest shuttle I’d ever seen; looked much more like a ship than any shuttle. It took up most of the hill. Painted white with just four numbers on the side. Presumably that was the shuttle that would take me to Mars Station.
A loud boom sounded, and fire shot out the back. My heart rate immediately kicked up. “Is that normal? That noise?”
Quinn shook his head. “Actually, no. Shouldn’t be doing that.” His lips quirked, which seemed strange, but I didn’t have time to analyze. “Son of a bitch. I never see him coming.”
“What?” I didn’t understand. The shuttle revved again, and I fell backwards on my rear end. I shrieked, covering my ears.
I knew that noise. I’d heard it tenfold by what had to have been at least ten similar shuttles overhead. Ships like that one, that made the same noise, had launched bombs at our heads in the Sisterhood. I’d thought I was doing well, but hearing it again brought it all back. The fire. The noises. The death. I covered my ears. Damn, I could even smell it.
Quinn grabbed me, pulling me into his embrace even as he kept me on the ground. “What’s the matter?”
“The bombs. They came on that ship. That noise. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m …”
He kissed my cheek, hard. “Don’t you dare say sorry. Don’t you dare. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I hoped they wouldn’t come. It was a soft target, a nothing, an afterthought. He shouldn’t have taken it so early.”
His words made no sense. All I knew was he was crying, his tears mixing with my own. “I don’t understand.”
“I know.” He kissed both my cheeks again, his body shaking. “Damn it.”
“What’s going on?” Clay appeared next to us. Quinn and I were soaked with the rain, our hoods having fallen down and neither of us having the wherewithal to pull them back up.
Quinn pulled me into his arms. “Tell Tommy to turn off the noise. Now. Fuck. I’m taking P inside. Get out of my way.”
Clay stepped back like it was the most standard thing in the universe for him to be yelled at by his younger brother. Without another word, he ran toward the shuttle.
We got into the house, dripping with water. Quinn once again took the steps two at a time, this time with me in his arms. He set me on the bed and ran to his closet. Next thing I knew, his strong, capable fingers pulled my clothes off me. I should have been embarrassed, except he quickly redressed me in his too-big-for-me gray t-shirt. He did the same himself, turning his back when he did. I tried not to look.
He kneeled down next to the bed and then shook his head. A minute later, he lay out next to me, placing a kiss lightly on my lips. “I’m so happy you’re alive, P. You’ll never know how much. I-I’m so happy.”
I let him hold me. I needed it, and from the way he shook, I thought he did too.
CHAPTER FOUR
Someone to Talk To
After a while, Quinn kissed me hard on the mouth. I didn’t see the kiss coming, but I didn’t object to it either. I was terrified and needy. I didn’t understand most of what he said as explanation, which didn’t mean I couldn’t recognize fear when I encountere
d it. Something had freaked him out, too.
His breath was sweet, and his kisses were firm but kind at the same time. He lured me forward. I let him lead, chasing him but loving it when I caught his momentum, too. I was fully in his arms, and he made the smallest noises in his throat, each one encouraging me on.
Finally, I pulled back. I knew where kissing led to. I’d gone down this path once before with horrific ramifications.
“I’m sorry. I can’t go any further. I know it doesn’t make sense. But I swore to myself I would save myself for my someday-husband. I made a mistake once. The best I can do is say to him, someday, that I didn’t do it again.”
He nodded before he placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. “I only want what you want, P. I don’t even deserve to touch you the way I have. I’m not really worthy of even your sweet kisses.”
I took his cheeks in my hand. “Explain. I can’t believe what you say is true. You’re so … kind.”
“Kind.” He raised his eyebrows. “Maybe in another life.”
A knock sounded on the door, and Tommy poked his head in. “You two okay? Sorry about the ship, Paloma. I didn’t know. Truthfully, the shuttle should not have been doing that at all. Someone screwed with it. And since I’ve sold thousands of this model and know there is no glitch to be found in the design, then I can safely say one of my brothers decided to make my programming glitchy. Want to take responsibility?”
Quinn rolled over onto his back. “I’ve been with the Widows today. P was with me. I didn’t have the time, interest, or motivation to screw with your shuttle.” He rolled over til he looked at me. “I would tell you all my secrets. I would beg your forgiveness a thousand times over. But they’re not just my own.”
“Quinn,” Thomas snapped. “Up. Take a walk or a pill. I don’t care which. But do one. Immediately.”
My bed companion groaned but jumped out of the bed as he’d been instructed. “You know, one day someone who doesn’t already know, will know.”