I looked at her like she was nuts. “Controlled me? Don’t be stupid. That shit only happens in the movies.”
“No, buttfuck, it happens in real life, all the time. Ask my parents, they’ll tell you.”
I was starting to think I’d landed in a nest of mental conspiracy nuts, just like Kootch had said. I wondered if either of her parents had been in a looney bin.
“So … why are they after Rae and not you? That’s the fifty million dollar question. I want to find the answer, don’t you?”
“No. I just want to leave and be left alone.”
She forced her arm through mine and clamped my elbow in her arm tight, dragging me towards the house. “Good, then we finally agree.”
I went along, all the while trying to get her to let go of me with some gentle tugs. I didn’t want to pull her over or hurt her; I just wanted her to leave me alone. “I’m pretty sure I’m disagreeing, or I meant to.”
“Nope. You’re agreeing.” We got to the front steps and she turned to face me, finally letting my arm go. “The only way you’re going to be able to leave and be left alone is if you know what’s going on. Running around in the dark only gets you banging into walls. You need to find out what the hell Holder and Derek were doing coming after Rae and why they weren’t coming after you. Right? Tell me I’m wrong. Go ahead and try.”
I knew she’d never let me leave without a fight, or at least until I heard her out. My stomach chose that moment to let out a huge gurgling growl.
“Good. Even your stomach agrees. Come on.” She walked into the house without looking back, totally confident in her ability to sway me over to her way of thinking.
I stood in the front entrance, half of me wanting to go run down the street and never come back. The other half smelled bacon and heard laughter coming from inside the house and wanted to be a part of it, if only for a short time.
I sighed heavily, taking a step over the threshold. First I’ll have some breakfast, and then I’ll leave.
Chapter Nine: Rae
I SAT DOWN AT THE table in one of the side seats facing the kitchen. Mr. and Mrs. Butts sat on the ends and Kootch sat across from me. The other two seats were empty until first Jasmine came in and then Malcolm.
My heart soared when he came around the corner and took the seat next to me. I wanted to touch his hand or hug him, tell him everything was going to be okay. But he looked so upset, I didn’t. And I couldn’t blame him. What Kootch had said was so wrong. I would be madder at him for saying it if he wasn’t looking so guilty over it right now. He was staring at his pancakes, poking them with a fork, mangling them in the middle but not eating them.
“Thank you for coming back, Malcolm,” said Mr. Butts, most of the evidence of his earlier breakdown gone. All that remained were bloodshot eyes. “I know it was difficult for you to see me like that, so I appreciate you coming back to hear us out. And I owe you an apology. I’m sorry I pushed you to do that.”
Malcolm nodded, saying nothing. He had to feel horrible, and I knew him well enough by now to know that he was blaming himself for everything. It was totally unfair. Mr. Butts had asked for it, according to Jasmine. At least he was apologizing now.
“Thanks to all of you for coming here and staying,” said Mrs. Butts, holding up a plate filled with bacon. “Please help yourselves to what’s here. There’s more in the kitchen for those of you with a big appetite.” She looked pointedly at Kootch, but he still wasn’t engaging with anyone.
“My dad makes the best bacon in the world. Try it, you’ll see.” Jasmine was all smiles.
I wished I could smile back at her and pretend like we were BFFs, but that wasn’t going to happen. The sting of her earlier threats still hadn’t totally worn off.
Malcolm handed me the plate after taking a piece of bacon. Maybe it was my imagination, but it seemed like he purposely avoided touching me during the transfer. I tried not to be hurt by it, but it was impossible. I wondered if he would ever check our secret email account in the future. I shoved a bite of bacon in my mouth to keep myself from crying.
“Let’s go ahead and get down to business,” said Mr. Butts. “I know you two are anxious to figure out what you’re going to do, and we’re anxious to help you do it, whatever it turns out to be. Let’s all be clear about that, okay? You decide. We’re just here to facilitate.”
Malcolm and I nodded.
“Let’s give them a primer about us, first,” said Mr. Butts, looking at his wife.
“Good idea,” she said. “I’ll start, and Joe, you can fill in the blanks.”
He nodded, putting a large forkful of bacon and pancakes into his mouth. His jaw muscles pulsed out with every chew. Kootch finally stopped playing with his food and began eating it. His mouthful was even bigger than Joe’s.
“We are both veterans, Joe of the Army and me of the Air Force. We worked in intelligence. We retired a couple years ago after twenty plus years each, and have been members of a special group of ex-military intelligence providers ever since. Our mission is to identify possible activities occurring in subversion of the government or our country. We work closely with the U.S. government and are often paid as private contractors to deal with issues that are not exactly military standard.”
Kootch kept chewing, pointing his thumb at Mrs. Butts. “Told ya.”
“They’re not conspiracy nuts, jerk.” Jasmine jabbed Kootch with her elbow, scowling at him.
“Conspiracies? Yes. Nuts? No.” Joe speared a pile of cut pancakes, hesitating for a moment before putting them in his mouth to speak. “We’re busy pretty much twenty-four seven trying to keep up with all the shenanigans going on, but right now, you’re on our radar. That’s why we’re here. Cut our trip to Hong Kong short.” In the pancakes went. I looked away, not crazy about seeing him perform the amazing feat of eating eight normal mouthfuls at once.
“Yes, as Joe said, you’re on our radar. As soon as Jasmine called us and told us what was happening, we took a plane back.”
“What’d she tell you?” asked Malcolm.
I was glad Malcolm asked, because I was curious too; kind of like how I’m curious to know all the whacky things my parents do but then cringe when I actually hear what they are.
“I told them that I thought we had some Influencers at school. And I was right.” She smiled, very proud of herself.
“Influencers?” Malcolm sounded confused. I was glad not to be the only one.
“Yes. People who can influence others.” Jasmine said it like it was something we should already know about.
“Influence them how?” asked Kootch.
“Well, for example, to influence them into making out with girls they claim not to like,” said Jasmine, purposely not looking at Kootch.
He dropped his fork loudly to his plate. “Are you going to torture me over that for the rest of my life?”
“Uh, yeah.” Jasmine drank some juice, in total casual mode. I think she was happy to add another way of harassing Kootch to her arsenal. First the rock-to-the-face, and now this. I tried not to be mad about this particular harassment tool existing at my expense.
“That’s not what Influencers do exactly,” said Mrs. Butts. “In your case, Malcolm, I think it’s clear that you can influence people to see the dark side of things.”
“I’m the agent of darkness,” he mumbled at his plate. He was holding a fork over his pancakes, but not eating anything.
“I wouldn’t say that,” said Mr. Butts. “Darkness isn’t a being, per se. It’s not an entity. It’s just an emotion. Somehow, your presence causes people to tap into that emotion more than they normally would or even could.”
He looked up. “So why do some people crave it and others avoid it?”
“An excellent question,” said Mrs. Butts. “We’d love to try and figure out the answer, but we can’t without your help and cooperation.”
“Uh-oh, time for a lobotomy,” said Kootch. “They want to study your brain, dude.” He held up his butter knife and aimed it
at Malcolm, making cutting motions in the air.
Jasmine poked him with her fork. “Stupid people must remain silent until called on.”
He held out his fork pointed at her plate. “Poke me one more time and see what happens.”
She poked him again without hesitation.
“Ow, Butts! Watch it! You’ll get a vein with that fork and I’ll catch some kinda weird infection from the bacon on it! Like mad pig disease or something.”
“Children, that’s enough,” said Mrs. Butts, getting her point across. Now was not the time to be acting like little kids. I was jealous that Jasmine and Kootch could be so casual about the whole situation. I bit my lip to keep from saying something rude.
“No one wants to study your brain unless it’s inside your head and functioning on its own power, okay?” Mrs. Butts said. “But we have some scientists who would like to ask you some questions and conduct some basic experiments, if you ever decide you want to find out exactly what’s going on.”
“No thanks,” said Malcolm, putting down his fork and setting his napkin next to his plate. He stood, pushing his chair back with his legs.
I put my hand on his arm. “Please wait.”
He looked down at me, serious and obviously stressed. “For what? For them to tell me I’m a freak? That I can’t be around people or I’ll kill them? I already know that.” He looked at the Butts family one at a time. “Save your time and money. I’ve lived my entire life like this. In three months I’ll be eighteen and no one will bother with me anymore. Until then, I just need to keep my head down and away from any cops or social workers.”
“And how are you going to do that, son?” asked Mr. Butts, putting his silverware down too, folding his hands loosely over his plate while resting his elbows on the table. “What’s your plan of action? Your end game? Your goal? Have you figured out the logistics?”
Malcolm didn’t answer at first.
“It’s a simple question.” Mr. Butts shrugged and then used his thumb nail to get some food out of his teeth.
“No. I don’t have a plan. But my goal is to just get away. From people. I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore.”
“You gotta have dough, man. How much dough do you have?” asked Kootch.
Malcolm didn’t answer Kootch; he just glared at him.
“I know you’re frustrated,” said Mrs. Butts, using a calming voice. “I know you want to leave and you’re scared that you’ll hurt someone you care about. That’s normal. It’s a good sign, really. Please sit down and let us help you. If you want to go, if you want to run away, we can help you with that. We have money to spend, people who will guide the way, and places you can stay along your route. You don’t have to do this alone, Malcolm. You’re not alone anymore. We’re here for you.”
I could tell Malcolm was fighting himself internally. His eyes darted to the faces around the table and then to the door. His body jerked ever so slightly to the left and then back to the spot in front of his chair, part of him wanting to take off and the other wrestling to stay. It was torture just watching it. I knew exactly how he felt, so it was like I was experiencing it multiplied by two.
“No. I have to go. Now.” He left the table at a fast walk and went out the front door.
I jumped up. “Let me talk to him,” I said in a rush. “Just give us a few minutes.”
I ran from the table and out the door behind Malcolm.
Chapter Ten: Malcolm
RAE CAUGHT UP WITH ME out on the front lawn.
“Malcolm, wait!”
“Just leave me alone, Rae,” I said, not looking back. I hated to be so cold to her, but it was the only way I could see to get out of this mess without causing any more damage.
“No, I’m not going to. Not yet, anyway. Let me just talk to you first, okay?” She came up to my side, breathless by the time we reached the sidewalk.
I kept going, but she stayed with me, walking at my elbow.
“I know what happened back there freaked you out. It freaked me out too. But maybe we can figure this out. Maybe their scientists can tell us what’s wrong with our heads.”
“Oh, so what …? We’re brain damaged now?” I looked at her for a second, just long enough to scowl at her. I didn’t want to admit I’d been thinking the same thing. But I knew better. There were no answers for us or someone would have already figured it out.
“No, not brain damaged. Just different. And I want to know why, don’t you?”
“Not if it means hanging out with them.”
“Why?” She put her hand on my arm and jerked it back. “What do you have against them? They’re just trying to help.”
I turned to face her on the sidewalk. We were two doors down from the Butts’ house. The sprinklers were running, spraying water just inches from my shoes.
“Yeah, trying to help … by making me turn Mr. Butts into a suicidal maniac. That was helpful.”
She sighed heavily. “Rookie move, I agree. But he didn’t know. He wasn’t sure he believed Jasmine. Now he does and he won’t do something stupid like that again. I think he’s just one of those guys who has to see something to believe it.”
“Kind of ironic when you consider he’s a conspiracy nut.” My anger was dissipating. It was impossible to stay mad at Rae. It was probably her Influencer power or whatever.
“I don’t think he’s a nut. Seriously. He and Mrs. Butts seem really cool, don’t you think?”
I shrugged, not willing to admit that I did think that about them. They were nothing like the foster parents I’d had in the past.
“Do you have any money?” she asked me, her tone very sweet.
I gritted my teeth for a few seconds before letting the answer out. “No.”
“A place to go? You told me before you didn’t.”
“No. What’s your point?”
“My point is, let’s just stay with them until we know a little more. If anything gets weird, I promise, I’ll leave with you. We stick together.”
“You and me?”
“Yes. You and me.” She took my hand and laced her fingers through mine. “Together. Us against the world.”
I don’t know why, but when she said that, it’s like all the anger just faded away. Hope crept in, even though I was trying like hell to make it go away. There was a tinge of sadness laced around it, telling me I was suffering under Rae’s Rainbow power, but I didn’t care enough to walk away from it. Not right now, anyway. She looked so sincere, with tears making her eyes shiny. She really wanted me to stay. Maybe she was afraid to do it alone. And she was right … I had no money and no plan. The Butts had offered me both; it would be stupid to turn them down when they weren’t asking me for much in return.
“Fine. I’ll come with you and stick with you on one condition.”
“Okay, anything.”
I smiled a little. “Don’t you want to hear what it is, first?”
She grinned back, the tears disappearing before they could fall. “I don’t care what it is. As long as I can be with you, I’ll be happy.”
My heart nearly exploded with those words. A fire burned in there, lit by her kindness. By the happiness I saw waiting for me in her world. Maybe … just maybe, I could be happy with someone in my life. Rae.
“I want you to promise me that when I say it’s time to go, you’ll go with me. That you won’t fight me or try to make me stay.”
“Okay, fine. But you have to promise me something in return.”
I nodded. “That’s fair.”
“You won’t tell us it’s time to leave until one of us is being hurt or taken advantage of. You can’t leave just because you get scared.”
I frowned. “I wasn’t leaving because I was scared.”
She gripped my hand harder when I tried to draw it away. “Yes you were. Who wouldn’t be? I was pee-my-pants terrified. But it still wasn’t a good reason to leave. We have a lot of b.s. to get over, you know? The stuff that’s happened to us? We’re not going to be okay. Not no
w and probably not ever. But let’s just be the best we can be, together.”
I nodded, the glimmer of hope I’d felt earlier turning into a full blown laser beam, hitting me right in the eyes. “You’re asking me to stick.” I’d never stuck. Not ever.
“Yeah. I’m asking you to stick with me. That’s it.”
I nodded again, unable to speak. No one had ever wanted me to be with them except for the purpose of helping them die. Rae wanted me with her so that she could live. And be happy. It was such a foreign concept, I didn’t know what to say.
“Good. Now come on. Kootch is getting all the good pancakes.”
“He’s probably eaten them all,” I said, turning back to walk to the Butts house.
Chapter Eleven: Rae
WE WERE BACK AT THE table, eating quietly, having put the discussion on the back burner until after breakfast, when Ho Ho the giant monster dog started barking like mad out in the backyard.
“Get downstairs, go!” said Mrs. Butts, looking at Jasmine and then Malcolm and me.
Jasmine jumped up, running around the table. “Kootch, plates!”
I saw him leaning over the table and grabbing Malcolm and my plates and running to the kitchen with them before we left the dining area following Jasmine to the computer room. Jasmine clicked the mouse a few times before pushing me towards the closet.
Once again, we made our way through the hidden door and down the stairs into the panic room. We paused at the bottom, waiting for Jasmine to get in and close the door behind us. She clicked the door shut and raced down the steps. Jumping into the seat in front of the computer monitors, she wiggled the mouse to wake everything up.
“Let’s see who decided to get stupid,” she said peering at the screens. She seemed to be focused on the upper right one.
When the images came in, I could see why. Ho Ho, who looked like a giant bear-beast of some sort, had a man cornered against the fence. The guy had his hands up near the sides of his head and a terrified expression on his face.
“Who the hell is that?” Jasmine asked. She clicked the mouse a few times and the image got bigger.