“Sit,” he orders, and I do as I’m told, sitting beside him.
I haven’t taken my eyes off Kennedy this whole time, and my fingers flinch as I reach out for the phone. Maddox does the same beside me and Kennedy on the other side. I press the cool device to my ear and listen as Kennedy’s voice fills the line. “Tanie, oh, sweet Tanie. How I’ve missed you.”
I open my mouth but nothing comes out. A small part of me still feels like a fragile child around Kennedy, but the other part is so angry at him for what he did to Pippa.
“It’s okay, sweetheart,” he soothes. “It’s okay. I’m here now.”
His words have my eyes fluttering closed as old memories fill my head. The comfort he gave me, the feeling of his soft hands stroking me to sleep. Then there are the dark memories, where he plunged that needle into my arm, watching the drugs consume me. I shudder and tears trickle down my cheeks.
“Say something, sweetheart, let me hear your voice. It’s all I’ve wanted to hear for so long.”
“You sold my sister,” I croak.
I finally open my eyes, and Kennedy’s expression is pained.
“I thought you were dead, Tanie. I thought—”
“You promised me that you would take care of her. No matter what.”
My voice is a rasp of pain, causing even Maddox to flinch beside me.
“I know, but . . . they were going to kill me, Tanie. I had no choice.”
“There’s always a choice,” I cry, meeting his gaze.
“You don’t know how hard it’s been for me. For so long I thought you were gone . . . until . . .” He looks to Maddox. “Tell me you’re okay; tell me everything has been good for you, Tanie.”
In other words, tell me the man beside you hasn’t caused you pain.
“Everything is fine, but it’ll be better when I can find Pippi. Please, Kennedy, if you care about me at all . . . tell me where she is.”
He closes his eyes, exhaling loudly, before staring at me again.
“Just let me see you for a minute longer, just a minute. As soon as I tell you, then you’re going to walk out of here, and I’ll never see you again.”
“Just fuckin’ speak,” Maddox barks.
“It’s okay,” I say softly, giving Maddox a look. “We’re in no hurry.”
I’m not saying this because I want Kennedy to feel good; I’m saying it because I don’t want to make him angry. I want him to tell me anything he can about Pippa, no matter the cost.
“Thank you,” he breathes. “You’ve grown into such a beautiful young woman—I always knew you would. Tell me what you’ve been doing, Tanie. Tell me.”
I can feel Maddox’s glare burning into the side of my face, but I don’t look at him. I just focus on Kennedy. “Maddox saved me. I’ve been with him since. There isn’t much to tell, aside from the fact that I’m happy.”
Kennedy stares at Maddox, his face full of disgust. “He isn’t the type I would have picked you to go for, Tanie. I hope he’s good to you.”
I can hardly say, “oh no, he’s not” or “actually we’re not together anymore” because that will give the wrong impression. Instead I force a smile and mutter, “He’s fine to me.”
Kennedy narrows his eyes. “You don’t sound convinced. If he’s hurting you, just say the word and . . .”
Maddox snorts loudly, cutting him off. I close my eyes, gathering my calm, before saying, “He’s good to me, Kennedy. He’s the first—” My voice trembles. “—the first man I’ve ever fallen completely in love with.”
Maddox turns to stare at me, his eyes saying so much, even though his mouth is tight. We hold each other’s gaze for a long moment, before I turn and face Kennedy again. He’s watching us, suspicion filling his features.
“I don’t have long left, Tanie,” he finally says. “We only get so much time. I’m so glad I got to see you; I want you to know how sorry I am. I let you down, and for that, I’ll never forgive myself.”
If he doesn’t have much time, I don’t want to waste another second. I don’t forgive Kennedy for what he did, but I want information, so I smile and whisper, “I forgive you, Kennedy.”
He beams, his eyes filling with tears. “You’ve just set me free.”
“Now set Pippa free, for me, please,” I plead. “Tell me where she is.”
“I don’t know where she is; I didn’t sell her as a slave. I do know the man I sold her to, however. It’s him who would have sold her as a slave.”
“Then give me his name.”
He sighs. “Jamie Whitman.”
I smile through my tears. “Thank you, Kennedy.”
“Come and see me again, Tanie. Please?”
I nod. “Of course.”
Then I hang up the phone, knowing as well as he does that we’ll never see each other again.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
2014 – Santana
“Where’s Maddox?” I ask, walking into the main room of the club house.
“No idea,” Tyke says, lifting a smoke to his lips and inhaling.
“Thanks,” I mutter.
“He’s drinkin’ himself into a stupor.”
I turn to see Krypt with Ash, his arm wrapped firmly around her middle, holding her close to him.
“Oh, right.”
“Not sure goin’ to see him is the smartest move, Tana. You don’t wanna tango with Maddox when he’s drunk, and believe me, sweetheart, he’s drunk.”
I sigh, running my hands over my face. I’m tired. It’s been a long, draining few days. Tomorrow we’re going to see Jamie Whitman, to see who he sold Pippa to, and whether or not we have the chance to get her back. I know sleep won’t come easy tonight, because if the news is bad tomorrow, we’re back to square one.
Each day we waste time, she’s stuck in that hell for longer than she needs to be.
“I need to talk to him about tomorrow.”
“I’d leave it,” Krypt advises, his eyes narrowing in warning.
“Maddox doesn’t scare me,” I say, waving a hand. “Drunk or sober.”
“No, but he can be a fucking asshole, and you don’t need anymore shit.”
“He needs to know I’m leaving, Krypt. You know he won’t like it if I go without telling him. I’ll be a few minutes.”
“Your funeral,” he mutters.
“Just be careful, honey,” Ash says, forcing a smile.
“I’ll be fine.”
I disappear down the halls, checking the rooms as I go. Nothing. Maddox isn’t in any of them. I decide to check the sheds down the back. He isn’t in the first one, but upon entering the second, I see him. He’s standing in the corner, half-empty bottle of whiskey in his hand. I hesitate at the door, not entirely sure what to say.
He looks up when the door closes behind me, and the expression on his face breaks my heart. He looks like he’s just lost his best friend. He sways slightly on his feet, his blue eyes narrowed in pain and his mouth a weak line on his face, as if it’s too hard to scowl or frown. He’s drunk, beyond it in fact. I can see it in his eyes. The bloodshot depths have the answers even before he opens his mouth.
“What do you want?”
His voice is a low slur, not defined, but there all the same.
“I . . . I wanted to see you before I went.”
“Fuckin’ why?”
I cross my arms, tired of arguing. “Because I know you’d want to know.”
“What I want,” he grates out, “don’t fuckin’ matter.”
“It wasn’t my mistake, Maddox. Don’t make me suffer for it.”
“No.” He laughs bitterly. “It wasn’t your mistake. You’ve made that fuckin’ clear, over and over again for the past few days. It’s all on me, and we’re done. So why the fuck are you here?”
An angry pang invades my chest, but I push it back.
“Don’t,” I warn. “Don’t make out like I’m being the selfish one here.”
“Aren’t you?” he snarls, lifting the bottle to his mouth and
taking a long draw from it. “Far as I can see, you’re blamin’ this shit entirely on me. Not once have you stopped and seen that I fuckin’ worked my ass off for you. I didn’t have to pick you up off that street; I didn’t have to support you all these years, I didn’t have to work to find your sister. I fucked up, but you’re equally as selfish as me.”
“Really?” I say, my voice low. “You’re going to throw this back in my face because you’re guilty.”
He snorts. “Fuckin’ yeah.”
“You know what? If you want to sit here and drink yourself into oblivion . . . go right ahead. I don’t have time for your bullshit games.”
I turn to leave, but he’s behind me before I reach the door. His hand lashes out, curling around my arm and spinning me so hard I stumble, falling into his chest. With an oomph, I gather my footing and push back, but his arm is firmly around my waist.
“Let me go,” I grumble against him.
“Here’s how this is goin’ to go. You can either forgive me, Santana, or you can’t. I ain’t gonna sit around and play fuckin’ games. It’s never been the way I roll. You decide what I mean to you, or you walk the fuck outta here and this ends now.”
“Don’t threaten me into deciding right now,” I growl, trying to step back, but he’s holding me too firmly.
“It ain’t a threat, it’s a choice. You need to make it.”
“You hurt me, you lied, you let me fall—”
I stop talking. I can’t say it. Not when we’re like this.
“What?” he growls. “Go on and say it.”
“It won’t change anything.”
“Won’t it?”
“No.”
We’re silent for a minute or two before he mutters, “For what it’s worth, I fuckin’ love you too, Santana.”
Jesus. Why did he have to do that? Why did he have to break every restraint inside me? I squirm furiously, angry, hurt, and confused. He lets me go, and I step back, shoving at his chest over and over. He doesn’t stop me, but lets me go until my wrists burn from the impact.
“How dare you?” I cry, tangling my fingers into his shirt. “How fucking dare you drop that on me? You broke my heart. You lied to me. You let me believe the only person I loved was dead.”
“How long are you gonna hate me for that?” he barks, curling his fingers around my wrists. “I fucked up, but I did it because I care, not because I wanted to hurt you. Do you have any fuckin’ idea how hard it’s been on me to keep this from you? I knew, I just knew I’d lose you when you found out. Do you know what that did to me? Do you know how much it killed me inside to know I was goin’ to lose the only fuckin’ thing I fought for?”
“Maddox,” I croak. “Don’t.”
“You’ve been my life for a little over five years, and I’ve fought with everything I am for you. I fucked up, I lied because I wanted to protect the broken girl that stumbled into my life. I didn’t do it for pain. I’ve spent every fuckin’ day tryin’ to find that girl, because you’re every fuckin’ thing to me, and leaving you without was never an option.”
“Maddox.”
“So go ahead and fuckin’ hate me. Make me suffer for what I did. But know this, Santana: I’m gonna love you for every minute, every hour, every day, every month and every year for the rest of your life, because you’re the only person in my life that’s worth fightin’ for.”
Tears cascade down my cheeks as I stare at the man who has caused so much emotion in me. From love to hate, he’s had it all, but the thing that stands out the most about all of it is that he’s not once left my side. In all my years of pain, heartache, loss and growth, Maddox has stood by me, helping me through it, protecting me. He made a mistake, a huge one, but he did it because he loves me.
How can I hate him for that?
“I—”
I don’t get to finish my sentence, because he tugs me closer to him, growling a fierce, “No more,” before crushing his lips down over mine. His scent surrounds me, alcohol mixed with a smell that belongs to Maddox and Maddox alone. I open my mouth on a moan, tilting my head back to let him take me deeper.
My back hits the wall a second later, and then Maddox’s hand is going down the top of my pants. His warm fingers find my clit while my hands fumble madly at his jeans, needing him out of them and inside me. He growls when I slip my hand in, wrapping it around his cock.
“Hurry,” I plead.
My pants are gone a second later, and his jeans are jerked down, his cock freed. He growls, low and deep, as he lifts my leg up around his waist and plunges inside me with little warning. God, yes. I cry out his name as I push my hips forward. I don’t care about the pain, or the burning sensation spreading through my limbs. All I care about is how good it feels to have him inside me.
“Harder, God, fucking harder,” I scream.
He fucks me harder. He thrusts until our skin slaps together so fiercely it burns. My fingers claw at his back, tearing into his skin. I come so God damned hard my vision blurs and for a moment, I don’t hear my own screaming. Maddox growls his appreciation and then suddenly he’s pulling out of me, fingers tangling into my hair to force me to my knees.
“Taste it,” he orders. “Taste your cum on my cock. Taste. It.”
I open my mouth on a gasp as his glistening cock nears my parted lips. It presses against me and I open for it, letting him slide it in my warm, waiting depths. I moan at the taste that invades my mouth—salty, a little sweet, all Maddox and I. He lets out a ragged hiss as his fingers tangle into my hair.
“Suck baby, suck hard.”
I do. I suck hard, my cheeks hollowing around his thick cock. He lets me do this for a few seconds before pulling his cock out and taking it in his hand, running it up and down my cheeks, swirling it around my lips, and then plunging it back in.
“Where am I goin’ to blow, baby? You tell me where.”
“My . . . f-f-f-face.”
“Dirty, filthy girl.”
I suck him harder, groaning when I feel him swell in my mouth.
“Coming, fuck . . .”
He pulls out swiftly, and his hand works furiously over his cock. A few pumps later, he explodes, his hot release hitting my mouth and cheeks. He barks a few choice words as he watches his cum hitting my skin.
“Looks so fuckin’ good against your skin, so fuckin’ sweet.”
He drops to his knees in front of me, still stroking his cock. He uses his other hand to take a drop of his cum, then he slips it into my mouth. I whimper at the taste, sucking his finger until he groans my name. He carefully tucks his cock away, before taking hold of the closest item of clothing to wipe my face clean.
Our eyes meet. So much passes.
“Tell me you’re goin’ to be by my side, now and after we find Pippa.”
I stare up at him, still on my knees.
“Tell me, baby,” he rasps. “I need to know. My club has been all I’ve had for so long—it’s been all I’ve worked for. Then I found you. Tell me I get to keep you, tell me this hasn’t all been for fuckin’ nothing.”
I push to my feet, reaching out and taking his face in my hands. “You’re not the only one who found something to keep.”
He closes his eyes, almost as if my words hurt him because they bring him such relief. He brings his forehead to mine. “I’m an asshole, I’m overbearing and controlling, and I’ll drive you fuckin’ crazy. But I can swear I’ll fuckin’ lay my life down for you, honey. Anytime. Anywhere.”
“I know that,” I whisper. “Because you’ve proven that to me with how hard you’ve worked to find my sister.”
“I fucked up, I know that. I’ll try not to do it again.”
“You might have fucked up, but in the grand scheme of things . . . I think you saved me, Maddox. You’re right; I would have run after her, not thinking. I would have made it less than a day before my addiction would have crippled me. I owe you my life, and when I find her, she will owe you the same.”
“We will find her, one
way or another.”
I know what he means.
Dead or alive, we’ll find her.
I’m not entirely sure that brings me the comfort I need right now, but it’ll have to do.
~*~*~*~
2014 - Maddox
“Say nothin’, let me fuckin’ speak,” I growl in Santana’s ear as we near the old, fucked up house that holds Jamie.
“I won’t,” she promises, but I can see her fingers fumbling together with nerves.
Krypt trails me, Mack by his side. I didn’t want to show up on a tonne of bikes with demands that would piss this fella off. All I want from him is an answer, and I’ll be on my way. I have no fuckin’ idea what we’re walkin’ into, though. Usually I wouldn’t bring a woman on club business, but Santana knows more about Pippa then any of us. He might need her to refresh his memory.
We make our way up the rickety steps of the house. My hand stays firmly on Santana’s wrist, holding her slightly behind me as we near the front door. I knock loudly, and the old door creaks in protest with each pound of my fist. No one answers for a solid five minutes.
“No one here,” Krypt mutters.
Then I hear the back door slam.
“Fucker is around the back, go,” I bark.
Krypt and Mack take off before I’ve even finished my sentence.
“Stay behind me,” I bark to Santana, pulling out my gun.
She does as she’s told, staying directly behind me as we round the side of the house. Krypt and Mack have a scrawny, greying man on the ground, his hands pulled tightly behind his back. The man is growling protests and spitting nasty words in our direction. I stop in front of him, glancing to make sure Santana is behind me, before stepping on the man’s fingers, causing a cry to escape his lips.
“Tryin’ to run is a really stupid fuckin’ move.”
“I don’t have your information. I told your boss that. I’ve given you all I have.”