“This all I can do,” he says.
Mack hands him a fuck load of cash, I stare with wide eyes but don’t argue. The doctor takes it, nods, and leaves. Krypt turns to the group.
“Time to go home. It’s also time you all fuckin’ pray that he makes it.”
I’m praying.
I haven’t stopped.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
2014 - Santana
I’d never thought being home would bring me so much joy. The relief I feel when we touch down is so overwhelming, I drop my head into my hands and force my emotions down. Pippa is beside me, here eyes wide as she takes it all in. The pilot’s second in command, and the owner of this plane, comes out, glancing down at Maddox once the plane has touched down.
“If I didn’t respect him so damned much, I would have never let him con me into flyin’ you mob over there.”
I don’t know much about Jeremiah, the man who owns the plane. All I know is he’s got a fuck load of money and travels the world for work. He doesn’t like flying airlines, so he got his own plane. Maddox helped him at one point, and Jeremiah owed him. I’m thankful for him, regardless of how he feels about us now.
“Thank you,” Mack says, offering his hand.
Jeremiah takes it, and glances at Maddox who we had to strap down to the floor so he wouldn’t be jerked around with turbulence. “Take care of him,” he says. “And tell him he owes me, now.”
Mack nods, and orders the guys to get Maddox off. I don’t leave his side; I help them down the stairs. The moment we’re out, I see Ash and Indi, both of them waiting anxiously. The moment Ash sees Krypt she lets out a pained cry and runs towards him. They meet in a tangle of arms and legs. My chest aches.
Indi stares at Zaid, her eyes watering, her hand over her mouth. He stares right back at her, and then she drops to her knees. He’s by her side in a second, scooping her into his big arms and nuzzling his nose into her neck. She’s holding him tightly, I can tell even from this far. A cool hand slips into mine, and I look down to see Pippa, holding onto me.
“He’s going to be okay.”
I nod, my eyes burning...but no tears slip out.
“I know.”
He’s made it this far. It was a bumpy ride, and a few times on the flight his breathing become gurgled and shallow. I held onto his limp hand, begging him to keep fighting. I lay awake with him when everyone else slept, my hand never leaving his. I don’t care if I die from exhaustion, I won’t leave his side.
Ash lets go of Krypt and rushes towards me. The moment she reaches me, she throws her arms around my neck and I let her. Indi is there in seconds, and together we all hold each other. I bite back my tears, still not letting them go. Not until he’s safe. We finally pull apart and Ash turns her eyes to Pippa, and they soften.
“You must be Pippa,” she says, extending her hand. “I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m Ash.”
Pippa hesitates, staring at me. I nod softly to her and she takes Ash’s hand, shaking it wearily. Ash doesn’t hold back, she wraps Pippa in a hug. The look on my sister’s face would make me smile any other time. She looks both overwhelmed and humbled. Ash pulls back but keeps an arm around her. “Come on, I’ll bring you back to my place and you can rest.”
Pippa looks to me again. “It’s okay, honey. Ash will take good care of you, I promise you that. I’m going to be at the hospital.”
“I promise I’ll bring you as soon as you’ve rested,” Ash assures Pippa.
Pippa nods. “O-o-okay.”
I hug her, whispering into her ear, “Trust them, they’ll be as much your family as they are mine.”
She squeezes me tighter, but she’s a strong girl. Stronger than she looks. She pulls back and Ash gives me a warm smile before leading her away. We all separate then – Krypt calling an ambulance. They arrive twenty minutes later, asking a lot of questions but not getting a lot of answers. They take Maddox all the same. Mack and I follow in a cab and the guys that are injured come along also. Austin is quite sick, so he went in the ambulance. The rest of them go back to the club.
The moment we arrive at the hospital, doctors swarm Maddox, whisking him off. A tall man, probably around fifty years old, stops me before we make our way to the waiting room. His cool fingers curl around my arm. “Miss, I’d like to ask you a few questions.”
Mack steps in. “She ain’t givin’ you any information.”
The doctor flicks his eyes towards him, but I step in before he can say anything.
“About his condition, I’ll answer your questions.”
The doctor nods, still giving Mack a weary look. He turns to me. “Can you tell me what exactly happened to him?”
“There’s only a few people that, ah, know,” I turn to Mack. “You might need to call Krypt.”
He nods, taking out his phone and disappearing.
“He’s been stitched, his bones very basically aligned. Who did that?” The doctor asks when Mack is gone.
“I can’t tell you that, but he was a doctor.”
“You don’t need to be afraid of me, I can help...”
“Please,” I say, giving him a hard stare. “I’m safe and well. I need you to focus on that man in there.”
He closes his eyes a second, opens them and takes a deep breath. “Very well. Can you tell me as much as you know?”
I do. I give him everything I’ve got. Mack comes back twenty minutes later with a list that makes my stomach turn. Kicked, punched, starved, broken bones, and a stab wound that was explained so horrifically, my legs give way. Twisted. Inside him. Oh God. Mack kneels when my knees hit the cold tile, and his arm goes around me. “She needs help, too.”
“Bring her in, I’ll check her over,” the doctor says.
Mack lifts me, carrying me into the room. I don’t fight. The very thought of Maddox having a knife driven into his chest, and twisted, makes my stomach turn so violently, I gasp out, “I’m going to be sick.”
The doctor has a little bag in front of me in a matter of seconds. I throw up into it, Mack still holding me. He lays my body down onto the bed, and the doctor checks me out. He’s happy with how my leg has been dealt with, but says I need to spend at least a night. That’s fine; I wasn’t planning on going anywhere.
“When will he get out of surgery?” I croak before the doctor leaves. “How long until I know if he’s okay?”
“It’s going to be a good, solid four hours. Get some rest. I’ll let you know the moment I know anything.”
I nod. “Thank you.”
He nods in return, and leaves. Mack pulls the covers back, not giving me a choice but to lay in them. A nurse comes in a few minutes later, connecting me to a drip at the doctor’s request. She also gives me an injection. When she’s gone, I slide into the cool sheets. Mack sits beside me, and he looks exhausted.
“Your leg?” I croak, noticing on the plane that he was injured.
“It’s nothin’, I’ll get it fixed soon.”
“Mack...”
“Sleep,” he says, ignoring my protest. “You need it.”
“I can’t...if I close my eyes I’ll see him like that and-”
My voice breaks.
“He’s in the best hands now. You gotta rest, Tana. If he wakes and you’re not...”
“I know,” I whisper.
He strokes a thumb over my cheek.
“Mack?”
“Hmmm.”
“Will you...please...just lie with me?”
He doesn’t hesitate; I guess he just knows I need it. He climbs into the bed, tucking me into his arms.
And together, we sleep.
Still praying.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
2014 – Santana
I curl against the man I adore, my fingers running up and down his heavily bandaged chest. I’ve been sitting with him for three hours now, at least, that’s how long I think it’s been since he came out of surgery. The doctor said he’s critical, but stable. The next twenty-four hours will t
ell. Hell, if he wakes up will be a big enough sign of things to come.
I’m tucked into him, tubes and wires gently resting on me. The doctors tried to move me; I told them there was no way in hell I was moving and that they’d have to carry me out. They adjusted things around me and this is where I’ve been sitting since. I still haven’t cried. Ash and Krypt came in, and Ash told me just how bad it is that I haven’t cried.
I know.
But he needs me to be strong.
Ash told me Pippa is at Maddox’s house, with four of the guys standing guard. Indi is with her, but apparently she fell asleep and has been that way ever since. I’m glad she’s getting rest. I’m just glad she’s with me. Things have been so hard; I can’t lose the man I love when I just got my sister back. I won’t trade one for the other.
Ever.
He has to make it.
I close my eyes, breathing him in. I’ve been praying for him to wake, hell, to move. He hasn’t. He’s been steadily breathing, though. I figure that has to count for something. Mack has been in and out; the poor man looks exhausted even after our sleep. None of us will get the rest we need until Maddox wakes.
Mack told me the club has been informed of Rhyder’s death. They’re preparing a funeral now for him and the other men lost. My heart aches at the very thought. Poor Rhyder. He didn’t deserve that. Non of them did. Maddox will be devastated when he’s forced to wake and attend a funeral. I can’t change it though, I can only hold strong for him.
It’s all for him.
“Chante?”
I turn my face to see Mack standing by the bed, a coffee and bagel in his hand.
“You need to eat.”
He’s right. I do...but I don’t want to.
“Please,” he says.
If it wasn’t for the fact that his eyes are so exhausted and broken, I would have refused. Instead, he helps me slide out from my spot beside Maddox and sits me down on a nearby chair. I sip the coffee, barely tasting it.
“You should go and rest.”
He shakes his head. “Can’t leave you or him alone, not now.”
“There are other guys, Mack. They can watch the door.”
His eyes grow hard. “I said no, end of discussion.”
“Mack...” My voice is soft, and at the sound of it, his eyes soften.
“Can’t leave him, Santana. You know that.”
I nod because I do know that. There’s no way I’m leaving him, and I shouldn’t expect anything different from Mack.
“Eat,” he says, pointing to my bagel.
I lift it, taking a small bite and struggling to chew it. I manage, though. Half way through, I can’t push anymore down. I place it on the tray and continue to sip my coffee. A nurse enters, her eyes travelling over Mack and I. She smiles, and goes over to Maddox, checking his vitals. Satisfied with his progress, she leaves.
“How long until he wakes up?” I whisper to Mack.
“The doctor said it could be any minute, or it could be days.”
“Do you think he will?”
“Yeah,” he responds, his voice hard. “He fuckin’ will.”
I nod, swallowing back my emotions as I stare at the lifeless body in the bed.
“You should go catch a shower,” Mack says. “Get some fresh clothes and come back. I’ll stay with him.”
I hesitate. I don’t want to go home. I don’t want to leave his side...but I do need to shower and freshen up.
“Can anyone take me?”
He lifts out his cell. “I’ll call Tyke.”
“No,” I say quickly. “He’s probably sleeping. Call someone else.”
He nods and calls another club member. When he arrives, I stare at Maddox, then to Mack. “Please, call me if anything changes.”
“You know I will.”
I hug Mack and then...hesitantly...I leave.
~*~*~*~
Pippa is awake and sitting at the table with Ash and Indi when I come in. I smile at them, allowing hugs all round before taking a few steps back.
“How’s Maddox?” Ash asks.
“Nothing has changed,” I answer, tucking Pippa into my side.
“I’m sorry, honey.”
I can offer nothing more than a grateful smile.
“Mack sent me home to shower and change, I won’t be here long,” I turn to Pippa. “Are you okay?”
She smiles up at me, looking better than I’ve seen her since she’s been back. She’s clean, her hair soft. Her eyes are bright and her cheeks pink. It’s going to take a long time to take the dullness from her locks, and put some flesh on her bones, but at least she’s home and she’s safe.
God answered one of my prayers.
“I’m fine,” she says in a small voice. “Ash is really nice and Indi said she’d stay over, we’re going to watch movies.”
I give the girls a grateful look, and they both smile warmly at me.
“We’re going to have a great time,” Indi announces.
I love them in that moment, more than I ever thought I could. They’re worried about their men, no doubt wanting to hold them for days on end, yet here they are supporting me. I let go of Pippa and hug them again, forcing my tears back.
“It’s okay,” Ash says, even though I haven’t said a word. “Our men are home, safe. Yours isn’t. We’re going to take care of Pippa until he is.”
My nostrils burn and my throat constricts. Not now, Santana. Not now. I pull back, nodding because it’s all I can do.
“Shower,” Ash says softly. “I’ll get you some clothes.”
I nod, turning and rushing off up the stairs. I skid to a stop when I reach Maddox’s room. With shaky legs, I enter. I sit on the bed, pulling a shirt into my hands that had been tossed onto the dark covers. I breathe it in, and the burning in my nose increases until I’m sure I can’t hold back my tears.
Not now. Come on.
I swallow until my throat hurts, and drop the shirt. He’s going to be okay, he is. I can’t lose him now. I force myself to my feet and into the bathroom. My clothes come off without any clear acknowledgment of the act. I’m not thinking, not even really in the moment. My body is slowly going numb from the pain swirling in my chest.
Over the next half an hour, I wash, shave, clean and scrub any parts of my body that need it. Then I get out, dry and brush my hair, and then pull on the clothes Ash left on my bed – a pair of jeans and a turtle neck sweater. When I’m done, I make my way back downstairs.
That’s when my phone rings.
The sound is surprising, and it takes me a moment to realize it’s mine. I rush down stairs as fast as my sore leg will take me, but Ash has already answered it. She’s saying something I can’t hear, she nods, and then she hangs up. Turning to me, she whispers, “He’s awake.”
~*~*~*~
Driving to the hospital has never taken so long. The walk down the halls seems to go on and on; even at the fastest pace I can manage. By the time I reach Maddox’s room, I’m shaking. I hesitate at the door, my hand hovering over the handle. I close my eyes when I feel the hand curling around my shoulder.
“It’s okay,” Ash whispers. “Go on.”
I take a deep breath and push the door open. The first thing I see is Mack’s back and a whole lot of nurses and a doctor. I take a shaky step in, my hand going out to rest on Mack’s shoulder. He turns, staring down at me with a smile. I don’t take long to focus on it; instead I let my eyes travel past him to the blue eyes set on me.
Something inside me breaks as I take in the face of the man I love. His eyes, God, so perfect, are bloodshot. His cheeks seem slightly sunken and his lips are paler than usual. He looks beaten, broken and sore. I shove past the nurses in my way, ignoring their protests. I reach Maddox and my hand curls around his. There is so much inside me, so much hurt and emotion, yet none of it comes out.
“Hey,” he croaks.
“Hey,” I whisper, my voice too shaky.
“Miss,” the doctor says, “can you step back.?
??
“No,” I growl, so low it has him stepping back.
I turn back to Maddox, lowering my face and pressing my forehead to his. A gesture that means so much to us. It means more than a kiss. More than a hug. It’s our love. His breath comes in short bursts against my cheek, and I breathe him in. Even in the hospital, I can still smell a slight amount of him coming through.
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper.
“No,” he croaks. “Fuckin’...no.”
His big hand lifts, curling around my cheek and he holds my forehead to his. His arm shakes and I know how hard it is for him to keep his hand up, but he does. My big, beautiful, strong man.
“I understand you’re relieved,” the doctor begins. “But we need to check him. Please, miss.”
I pull back slightly and Maddox nods, weak and short. I press a kiss to his cracking lips, feeling that familiar burn in my nose. I step back, my entire body breaking out in shakes that weren’t there before.
It happens. There and then.
Everything I’ve held in, all the strength I’ve shown, it all crumbles. My entire body begins to shake and a heart-wrenching sob rips from my throat, causing everyone to turn and stare at me. Maddox’s eyes fill with a pain I’ve never seen coming from him, and it only makes it worse. I back up towards the door.
God.
Why now.
“Sweetheart.”
A soft voice. Mack’s...I think.
“Come on, let’s get you some fresh air.”
I shake my head. “I c-c-c-can’t leave him.”
My voice comes out broken and pathetic. Tears are streaming down my face.
“Let’s just-”
“I can’t leave him!” I scream. “Don’t you fucking dare take me away.”
The doctor looks at me, stepping away from Maddox.
“How about we give them a minute,” he suggests to the nurses. “His vitals are good. We’ll return in an hour.”
Before I know it, the room has cleared. Maddox is still watching me, his face breaking my heart even more. Mack looks to his brother, then back to me and says, “I’m going to get coffee.”