CHAPTER 1 - The Indian Hindu
Since I have moved into this country from India, most people ask me if I am a Muslim. I know we do share the same skin colour but we are a world apart. Culturally and in several other aspects, we are very different. My religion is called Hinduism and I am a Hindu. We have lots of gods, we go to temples to pray and you probably heard of Diwali or Holi, which are our main festivals. Diwali is the one where we lit lamps and burn fireworks and Holi is the one where were besmear each other with colours.
Most of the Hindus (especially from the South part of India) give a lot of importance to education, so we mostly are computer engineers or doctors. And I cannot stress this enough, we are the most peaceful people on Earth. I mean have you ever heard of a Hindu being involved in anti-social activity or robbing a bank!! Just check the history, we probably are the most peaceful people and I am quite proud of that. Mostly that is due to the teachings of our religion, our upbringing and our general set of mind. For instance, I was working as a part-time stock attendant when I was a student and the guys who work there wanted to nick some items which were left to be restocked. I simply didn’t want to be a part of that and quietly walked away. Not saying that I am great for this, but doing something like that is totally against my principles.
So yes, next time please do not generalise us, most of us are here legally, pay taxes, work our asses off and if we are in a good position, that is because for nearly 20 years we struggled hard, working our way up through high school, university and further education, plus we had our parent on our asses for every single day of that 20 year period, pushing us to be even better. True story, I know so many friends here in the UK, who after completing the compulsory 16 year of education, wanted to take break or travel the world or just give up education and work at a superstore, their parents were totally fine with that. On my side, if I would have said that I would give up education after 16 years, my dad would have literally killed me. Actually, I don’t even know anyone from my family or friend’s family or friend’s – friend’s family whose parents allowed them to stop education after 16 years. See, that is how serious we were about education.
There was also a very strong impact of society back in India and our parents always compared us with other kids of same age pressuring us to work even harder and be the best! Now compare that to the flexibility which you have here, I know a guy whose father had university education, but he wanted to become a carpenter as he was very skilled at building things and his dad just let him do that! I seriously miss that and always wondered what life would have been if I was allowed to follow my heart. (But now, I know I can and I couldn’t be more thankful to this country for providing me that which was devoid for the past 30 years in my life!!)
I am 33 years old, Indian, Hindu male, born in a city called Hyderabad (in India). It is down south, located relatively close (ish) to Goa and it is the city famous for the recent Information Technology boom and the yummy dish, Biriyani. Actually, you should try the food in Hyderabad, it is simply amazing and totally authentic Indian, nothing like the Tikka Masala which you get in Britain.
Every country has different classes of people. I belong to the educated class, our parents are job holders and also had good education themselves. We are not high up with the rich, we do not drive Mercedes Benzes but yes, my dad owns a Suzuki Swift and a three bedroom apartment in the centre of the city. My dad also has some ancestral property to his name which he rents out to get some additional income.
I grew up in a close knit family with lots of cousins around, so there was this constant pressure and comparisons to perform better. I always got average score throughout my education and was not exceptional. My parents always pushed me to be better but I was more interested in movies and music. I could play some decent guitar and loved watching cinema. I loved all kinds of movies, Indian, Hollywood, World Cinema, etc. and there were times when I used to watch a movie every day on my computer.
Studies didn’t come naturally to me, I always had to struggle to clear my examinations. I used to envy some of my cousins who used to understand subjects easily and clearing examinations was so effortless for them. It wasn’t the same in my case, I used to slog all day long before examinations to get about 70%. I always wished to do something else, something different. In my family, you hold respect only if you are an engineer or a doctor. Most of my family didn’t even consider any other profession as an option. Out of the two, to become a doctor, you need to put in quite a lot of effort and years. Engineering was the other options and Computer Science was the most preferred major.
That’s how I ended up becoming a Computer Science Engineer. When I moved to London, I met a British student going to the same university as me and we ended up chatting for long time. He was majoring in Film and Media and I soo wanted to be him! Back home those options were there but unless you are exceptional, the chances of making it are very less. So our parents opted for the safest route for us. The world needs computers, even a pizza joint needs an application to take orders, so there is a lot of demand and my parents saw that as a gold mine.
I studied Engineering for 4 years and then did Masters, which was a further 2 years totally against my wish. I couldn’t raise my voice or oppose them as I knew, the moment I complete my Masters programme, I will get a job straight away. And yes, I did. It wasn’t right away, but a few months of struggle, I landed a Developer’s job in London which used to pay me 24,000 pounds per year.
So that is the first big difference, actually I was lucky as my parents were strict but not nearly as some of my uncles. If you send a British kid into those homes, they would probably call the services unable to cope with that pressure. It really is that bad! I totally pity my cousins, their parents put soo much pressure on them that I cannot help but every time I meet them, I tell them to endure for a few more years and then, when they leave home and go abroad, things will totally change.
Coming back to my case, I cannot totally be against my parent’s decisions. It is because of them, who by the way paid for my entire education until Masters, I have the confidence that I could live and earn in any place around the world. It’s just a shame that they did not consider any other major apart from Engineering or Medicine as a viable option.