CHAPTER 7 - Love is in the air
At our university accommodation, I did mention that we were a group of 5 guys and 2 girls, and we used to hang out all the time. But one girl from our group became very close to me and she was very pretty. With fair skin, nice features and tall posture, she immediately caught my eye when I first saw her. All the guys from my group were extra nice to her and at times, it almost felt like a competition. Everyone wanted to be with her and somehow, I ended up getting very close to her. We both had common subjects at university and our combined studies at the library is what brought us closer. I was very good at this one particular subject and used to tutor her on that.
As we spent time together, we realised how similar how tastes were, we loved the same movies, same spots in London and it felt we were perfect. She used to love my bookish/film based knowledge and thought I was very clever. We spent lots and lots of time together. The thing that brought us closer was the second semester results. She failed in a subject and I scored high marks in that. She was devastated and ashamed as it was the first time she ever failed in something. She was a total wreck and I couldn’t see her go through that. Knowing how failure is treated in our families (epically Telugu families), she couldn’t even tell her parents back home. And she was too ashamed to face me, but I was very supportive. I arranged for us to have a chat with the professor and see where it went wrong, I arranged the paper to be re-evaluated. But the fail was final, only chance she had was to retake the examination in a month’s time. Now according to our University’s rules, we get one more chance to retake the exam if we fail the first time. But if fail in the same subject second time, we have to redo the entire semester by paying the complete fee for the semester, which is like 4000 pounds.
So the retake was very important for her. And seeing her like that, I couldn’t just sit quite so I ended up studying/tutoring her in the subject. We spent days and nights together studying and soon it was the day of the exam. I was waiting outside our university for her and she came out with a huge smile on her face saying she definitely did better than last time. But we had to wait for another month for the results. Days passed very slowly and when the day of the results came, I was more nervous than her. Luckily, she passed the subject and she was soo pleased that she broke down into tears. I tried to console her and that is when it happened, she hugged me very closely saying she couldn’t have done without me. She kissed me on my cheek and said she was ever grateful!
I was on cloud-9!! I already fixed in my mind that she will be my girlfriend and we will get married and have beautiful kids together. (Reminds me of one of the very first episode from the TV show, The Big Bang Theory, where the main character Lenard gets a hug from Penny and he gloats to his friend Sheldon that their kids will be beautiful and smart!!). So I was counting my chicken even before the eggs were laid.
Coincidentally, it was Valentine’s Day the very next day, love was in the air. Asda superstore was tastefully decorated with heart-shaped balloons and tags were stuck everywhere which read, “Do not forget Valentine’s”. I was specially assigned to the Valentine’s section at the superstore and I put all these cute hearts, chocolates, champagne bottles along with sensuous lingerie on the shelves. Valentine’s is a bigger deal here compared to back in India and I loved all of it. I couldn’t buy Lingerie at first go, but I bought a card which read, “Will you be my Valentine” along with box of chocolates and a beautiful bouquet.
After the hug and kiss, I officially wanted to ask her the question, so with a romantic heart and a huge grin on my face, I went into her room. I made her sit on the bed and proposed to her, I said I love her and will be with her until the end of time! She had tears in her eyes, I knew they were tears of happiness!! Few seconds, she stayed silent and then said, she would be very lucky to have me in her life, but she cannot!! She told me that she is not allowed to!! It all went blur for a moment, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I didn’t know what to say, I was shocked!
She then began to explain, how her parents are very strict and how she is not allowed to marry anyone from a different caste! And this was the main thing which prevented her from proposing to me months earlier, when she really felt life with me would be great!
Now, let me get into a little detail about caste system in India. Even though all of us are Hindus, we belong to different caste. I don’t know how this came into existence, but this was something which was there right from the beginning. I thought it was based on the occupations of our ancestors but it was far more deep-rooted than is should have been. We have castes which are considered higher and some which are considered lower and then there is downright bottom of the pile. Maybe during olden days this caste system made a huge difference and even now, in rural areas and villages, it is still held as the most important thing, but when people became educated, they cared less and less about the caste system. I mean, my parents never cared about this and they were quite open.
But not all parents were like this. There was this set rule that you only have to marry someone within the caste and that too, they wanted that to be arranged! In the current times, this really sounds ridiculous right?? If I ask this question to British girls, how would you feel if you parents come up to you and say you can only marry within the caste and we will arrange it for you!!
That is exactly how the system works back in India, sadly, this is 2016 and I feel even now there are parents who strongly consider this. It isn’t just enough if the boy is educated and independent, earning his own livelihood, he also needs to be from the same caste!
And sadly, this girl’s parents were hard-core when it came to caste. She has a sister who is about 6 years older to her, who was in love with someone outside her caste. When she wanted to marry this boy from other caste, all hell broke loose, her father being a heart patient suffered a stroke when things heated up and they now have broken all ties with her sister. She is not allowed into their family and they have severed all ties with her! This is how particular some parents are, when it come to their caste and their social status amongst their communities.
To be honest, even though I belonged to a slightly lower caste compared to this girl, my parents are well off and hold high positions compared to hers. So, anyway you look at it, we were in a better position. But all of that wouldn’t matter for her parents, all they wanted was someone from their own caste.
By the way, I forgot to mention a name, her name is Pooja, which means “Prayer” in our language. It is a common female name back in India.
So, considering all what happened with her sister, Pooja doesn’t have any other alternative but to listen to what her parents say. They even made her promise not to repeat what her sister has done and her father seriously came up to her and said if she doesn’t anything like her sister, he will not have the heart to be able to bear it!! Can you believe the heights of this emotional blackmail from her parents, I feel they should be locked up in a cell for this!! It’s like saying, “Oh, I will pay for your education, I will love you and support you to be independent, by the way if you marry anyone outside our caste, I will commit suicide and you will have to live with that for the rest of your life!!”
You think I am making this up, I wish I was too. I really really wish I was making this up!! Because I was deeply in love with this girl and how can I say “Screw your parents, it is your life!! Let them die with their stupid beliefs, they do not have a place on this planet!! “I wanted to scream on top of my lungs and say this, I wanted to punch her dad in his face!! But I cannot, it is very sad, I was totally helpless.
I mean your son or daughter has to marry someone of your choice and live their whole life because of your stupid beliefs?? What if that someone turns out to be horr
ible?? You would destroy their whole life but still be happy because your caste and beliefs have been protected?? Alas, you know what?? Those arranged marriages are the strongest. We have a record of broken love marriages, but these arranged marriages are strong and most couples end up being together for the rest of their lives. We had a lot of arranged marriages in our family, my parents, uncles, cousins, all of them had arranged marriages and they all are very happy and very much together after many-many years! So, most of the parents take this for granted. They know better when it comes to finding a suitable partner who can love you, take care of you and also be a part of their family!!
Coming back to my proposal, I got my answer. She said she likes me very much, but she cannot put her parents though that terrible situation once again, like her sister did. She will always have a special feeling for me in her heart and would love to be my friend forever!! I painfully replied, I cannot be a friend after having such strong feelings towards her and left her room.
I really was very angry and sad. Angry at her foolish parents and sad because I have lost the person whom I love so very much, once again! I really am very unlucky when it comes to girls. I was dejected the whole day and avoided her. She came over to my room to talk to me and asked me not to be like this. I tried to reason with her saying, we are already in a different country, after completing studies we will get a job, settle down and then I will go and personally convince her parents. She then dropped the ultimatum that their parents are already considering a proposal from one of their close friend whose son is settled in America. So her engagement will be more or less fixed once she finishes her Master’s course! I didn’t have anything to say!!
I stayed at my friend’s apartment the next two days and wanted to take a break from being sad. Two of their roommates were moving out and my friend suggested me to move into their apartment. That really sounded like a good option, I didn’t want to me in a place where everything reminded me of Pooja.
The next day, I told my friend that I will be moving out. I started packing my stuff and that’s when I heard a knock on my door. It was Pooja, she came in and asked me why I was doing that. I told her it is better as staying near her, my feelings towards her with only get stronger. Then something unexpected happened, it was very shocking and sudden. She hugged and started kissing me. This was not on the cheek, but deep French kiss. I stopped her to ask what she was doing, she put her finger on my lips asking me not to say another and started kissing me. We kissed for about 15 minutes. We sat on our bed and she was in my arms hugging me closely. I had about thousand questions in my mind, but I really didn’t want to say anything, I wanted to totally get lost in the moment. If that was the final goodbye kiss, then so be it, I will preserve that moment all my life.
She finally broke her silence and said that she will be my girlfriend until the time comes. She will be with me, love me and keep my close to her heart as long as she can. But when the time comes, she wanted me to let her go. She wanted to make as many beautiful memories with me as she can and then when the call comes from her parents, she wanted me to promise not to stop her! What could I say to such kind of an offer?? Should I have walked away saying that would only prolong the pain or should I give in, live today to the fullest and not think of tomorrow?? I really didn’t want to let the girl in my arms go, I wanted to keep her close to my heart, even for those few precious moments. I opted for the later. I said I will try and live an entire lifetime with her in the short period which we have together. Typing all this, I really feel so sad again!
So suddenly, time was very precious to us, her parents expected her to come back and get married after she finishes the Master’s course. We already were in third semester, this gave us about 6 months. And we had to make every moment count.
She wanted not to think of the future and talk about something else. She wanted to go on our first official date the next day and wanted to talk about all the exciting thing we could do. We started talking and soon it moved over to making out. It was heavy kissing at first and I slowly started to move down to feel her boobs. This went on for a while until we were tired and dozed off. This was the first time a girl spent the whole night with me. It was strictly PG rated, but I was soo much lost in the moment that I forgot about the future and enjoyed the present to the core!
The next day, we got ready for our first date, Pooja wanted to keep this on the down-low and not let any of our friends know about this. I agreed. We went to the central London and took an amphibian boat ride on Thames. We had a romantic ride on the London eye. We headed to the aquarium after that and went to the play zone. We played a few games and I won this Wonder Woman plush from one of the machines and I gave it to her. Most of the time we hugged each other and our lips were always together whenever we found a chance.
We ate at a nice Indian restaurant in Central London and then went for a movie in the Warner Village theatre. The film was Bruce Almighty and it was simply amazing. We loved it!! And we constantly kept on making out in the darkness of the cinema hall.
Our first date went on amazing and we came back to our dorms late night. She decided to sleep-over in my room and this was the time we experimented a little more. We started making out slowly and then I removed her top. She was wearing a very pretty maroon coloured bra. And before I proceeded further, she stopped me and requested that we will not have penetrative sex. That is where we draw the line as she didn’t want things to get complicated and wanted to remain a virgin. I didn’t know how to respond and that is when, she unzipped my trouser and took mine out and began to give an oral. I gave in to the moment and it felt heavenly. It was the very first time, I mean Anitha masturbated me, but she never went down on it. Pooja didn’t go all the way though, after a little while, she started to jerk me off instead. The deed was soon done and we established our rules of getting physical that day. Even I used to masturbate her with my fingers but never have full-on sex with her. I still was a full-on virgin with heavy physical sexual activity and a time-sensitive girl friend. Talk about things being weird, for me, this is as weird it gets!!