Read Memoirs of a Vending Machine Page 3


  ***

  Mike had woken at about 10:00 am, spending an inordinate amount of time staring at some salt and pepper shakers on his kitchen table before managing to put together some breakfast. He liked a slow start on a Saturday. He had enjoyed last night in and around Osaka and decided that he was in a bit of an Osaka mood. He stood up from the table and walked over to his 3D flat-screen TV unit and cranked up his iPod dock, which was placed on a shelf to the side. Mark had introduced him to this band Urufuzu years ago and Mike had grown to love the home–grown, Osaka based rock outfit. He danced momentarily, looking at his reflection in one of the glass windows of a side cabinet, but stopped when he realized that he resembled a top heavy and unstable pogo stick with a small beer belly covered with ridiculous pyjamas.

  He promised himself yet again that he would stop drinking beer or join a gym or something, then felt better about his appearance as he assured himself it was only temporary. Mike took a long shower, emerging a new man, fresh and ready to waste the rest of the day. He dressed in his favorite pair of crap jeans, then matched it with the shittiest t-shirt he had. Feeling well and truly 'at-home', he booted up his computer, singing along to Urufuzu's Banzai as he waited. Using Yahoo Japan, Mike did his first and most important Internet task of the day—his horoscope.

  Leo

  You will first start to notice the effects of this transit around Saturday. You will continue to experience this influence until Sunday after which time it will rapidly diminish. Do you really mean what you are saying? Can you really believe what you are hearing? Are you really ready for what seems to be about to happen next? I may not have listed them in the right order but these are undoubtedly the questions you will be repeatedly asking yourself during this period. The sky will finally facilitate a change that has been trying to take place for a very long time. At an amazing speed, to an impressive depth, due to an almost uncanny convergence of coincidental circumstances, a new phase of your life will begin.

  "Mmmm," thought Mike. "Happen next… New phase… Mmmm." Not really enjoying the uncertainty of the forecast prediction for the day, Mike decided to cut his celestial consultation short and check out the news at home. He punched in an ‘A’ and from the 'most-frequently-visited' section, ABC (Australian Broadcasting Commission) popped up, allowing him to just select and click.

  The headlines featured the same old recycled political rhetoric, so he scrolled straight down to the 'just-in' sections and noticed that the whaling issue seemed to be escalating as Greenseas began the annual chase-the-Japanese-whaling-vessel mission around the Pacific. This jogged his memory and he revisited the events that took place last night at the restaurant. Remembering how Tsubasa had fooled them into eating some whale meat, he wondered why the hell he had done it.

  At home and safe in his shit clothes, Mike didn't really give a damn about who was right and who was wrong, but he couldn't help feel that none of that mattered to the whales. The caption read:

  WHALES THE REAL WINNERS IN DAVID V GOLIATH CONFRONTATION

  He started reading the article, which seemed to be arguing that no matter which side claimed the moral or ethical high ground, as long as the hunt was delayed, the whales were the winners. Mike let out an audible 'Mmmm' this time, as he noticed an odd-looking link to the right of the article.

  There was a You Tube link from a still-shot of a couple of men in suits, who appeared to be sitting at a table in a restaurant. An idea stirred in his mind but quickly dissipated as the ripples of thought bounced off the sides of his hung-over head and back across to the other side, returning his brain to a numb sort of equilibrium as they cancelled each other out. He looked again, this time reading the photo’s caption.

  WHALE MEAT ON THE MENU FOR ONLINE SHOPPING ENTREPRENEUR

  He clicked the link immediately and knew it was about Mark. Horrified, he replayed the video three more times, watching in despair as he saw Mark's business dreams fade further away with every mouthful of meat consumed.