That's right... I remember Harry used other ways... he once changed me into a rat with a nod.
Jake nods, and POPS outside the back screen door.
JAKE (continuing): And he once shut the door to the cabin with a wrinkle of his nose...
Jake wrinkles his nose from side to side, with MUSICAL SFX, and POPS back into the kitchen.
ANNIE: That's the idea!
JAKE: Whew! All of a sudden, I'm beat.
ANNIE: You're still healing... get a good night's sleep, and start fresh in the morning.
INT. ANNIE'S KITCHEN - DAYS LATER
Jake's bandages are off, and his shirt is mended; only a slightly red forearm and a small pink scar over his eyebrow remind us of his ordeals. He reaches to get an apple out of the pantry, as Annie comes in the back door.
JAKE: Catch!
Jake pitches the apple toward Annie, and it sails over her head. Another Jake (#2) materializes outside the door, catches the apple, and tosses it around the side of the cottage, to where another Jake (#3) is waiting. Jake #3 throws the apple out front, to a newly-appeared Jake #4.
Jake #4 swivels to fire the apple to Jake #5, on the opposite side of the cottage from Jake #3. Jake #5 pretends to tag out a base runner before rifling the apple back to Jake #2, who is still standing outside the back door. Jake #2 gently tosses the apple up to Annie, who catches it and takes a bite out of it.
ANNIE: Who will remember Tinker to Evers to Chance, after they see Timmons to Timmons to Timmons?!
Jake #1, standing by the pantry, winks and fades out of the scene. The only Jake remaining is #2, outside the back door.
JAKE: Annie, you've shown me how to do what I have to do, and I think I sense a departure soon.
ANNIE: So your precognition is finally starting to kick in...
JAKE: It's not completely clear, but I can see a little ways into the future.
ANNIE: That's all you need right now... it'll get stronger as you use it.
EXT. ANNIE'S COTTAGE - THAT NIGHT
Jake is dressed in his newly-repaired tuxedo. Annie stands on her front step and gives him a kiss on the cheek.
JAKE: I can't thank you enough for all you've done.
ANNIE: If you can stop Laszlo, the whole sorcery community will thank you.
JAKE: Okay. I'm off. Wish me luck.
ANNIE: Godspeed.
Jake nods, and POPS out of the scene.
INT. OUTSIDE THE HOUDINI ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Jake POPS into the dining room, much to the surprise and delight of the DINERS seated at their meals. A flash of light and a ROAR come through the half-open door, startling the whole crowd. Jake reaches inside, and pulls Connie out.
CONNIE: Jake! But didn't Laszlo just... destroy you in there?
JAKE: Don't believe everything you see. He only winged me.
Laszlo looks around the door, seeing Connie and Jake, and SNAPS his fingers. Jake nods; he and Connie POP out of the scene. Laszlo carries his finger oddly... it's obviously loaded, and he wonders what to do with it. A querulous VOICE comes from a lady in the dining room:
LADY (O.S.): I love the show, but this meat is too rare.
Laszlo pivots, and points his finger. A filet mignon flashes brightly, on the plate in front of the surprised LADY, and her plate turns negative. She stares down at a pile of ashes.
LASZLO (matter-of-fact): Not rare any more, is it, bitch?
The lady's mouth works silently, in consternation, as Laszlo strides out of the dining room.
INT. MAGIC CASTLE LIBRARY - CONTINUOUS
Jake and Connie POP in behind one of the shelves, and immediately kiss.
CONNIE: I'm so glad you're safe!
JAKE: I spent a long time thinking you were dead... you've got to go hide somewhere, so he can't get to you again.
Laszlo strides into the library. Jake nods; he and Connie POP out of the library.
INT. MAGIC CASTLE ANTEROOM "STUDY" - CONTINUOUS
Jake and Connie POP in, to the surprise of the HOSTESS, standing behind a podium-console-desk construct. The hostess tries to take it in stride:
HOSTESS: Do you have reservations this evening?
JAKE (smiling): No, but I'd appreciate it if my... date... could temporarily hide behind your desk.
HOSTESS: But...
JAKE: It's okay... we're with Merlinsky, and it's part of the performance.
HOSTESS: That explains it.
Jake ushers Connie behind the desk, over her protests:
CONNIE: Jake, this is not necessary...
JAKE: Connie, I just want you out of the line of fire. I'll be next door, in the bar.
He kisses Connie, and POPS out of existence.
HOSTESS: Boy! Nothing like kiss-and-run...
INT. MAGIC CASTLE BAR - CONTINUOUS
Jake POPS in, leaning on the bar railing. He checks his tie in the mirror behind the bar. The BARTENDER does a double-take:
BARTENDER (mutters) I've gotta get a job in a regular bar.
JAKE: If a guy in a homburg and mustache shows up, it might be wise to duck down until the excitement is over.
BARTENDER: What kind of excitement are we talking about?
Jake nods and POPS out, just as a flash lights up the spot where he stood. The ROAR and resulting negative lighting effects terrify the bartender. Jake POPS in at the other end of the bar, and calls out:
JAKE: Something like that.
BARTENDER: Gotcha.
The bartender immediately ducks behind the bar. Laszlo slowly descends the grand staircase toward the bar, measuring his opponent.
LASZLO: Looks like precognition to me. You've been busy, my boy.
JAKE: Jake Timmons is the name. I don't think we've been properly introduced.
Jake advances toward Laszlo, his right hand extended. Laszlo extends his right hand as if to shake, but instead, SNAPS his fingers and points. The usual flash and ROAR finds Jake... not there. He's halfway up the stairs that Laszlo has just left. Jake loosens his tie.
JAKE (continuing): It got a little warmish at the other end of the bar, Mister...?
Laszlo spins on his heel.
LASZLO: Laszlo... the name is Laszlo! A name you'll remember until the moment you die!
Laszlo SNAPS his fingers and points up the staircase, but where once there was one Jake, now there are two: one higher up, and one lower down on the steps. The flash and ROAR miss harmlessly. The lower Jake (#2) slides down the banister and taunts:
JAKE #2: Are you trying to hurry the "moment" of my death, just so I won't have time to forget your name, Lazzy?
LASZLO: Laszlo... I said the name is Laszlo!
Laszlo fires once more, but the number of Jakes increases again, and he's surrounded by them. He doesn't know which one to destroy, and a look of defeat fleetingly passes over his features, only to be replaced by a look of pure malevolence. He SNAPS his fingers, and... disappears.
The Jakes fade out one by one, until only one is left. He surveys the room carefully.
JAKE: It looks like it's all clear, bartender... I think he gave up.
When no one appears, Jake leans over the bar.
JAKE: Are you okay?
A fist shoots up and SMACKS squarely on Jake's jaw; he drops to the floor, knocked out. The bartender rises from behind the bar, rubbing his knuckles.
BARTENDER: Sorry, kid, but Laszlo pays me a lot of money to do things like that.
Laszlo reappears beside Jake's unconscious body.
LASZLO (crisp): Not any more, I don't.
Laszlo SNAPS his fingers and points at the bartender; the flash and ROAR signal yet another hapless victim. Laszlo looks down toward Jake, and SNAPS his fingers one more time.
CONNIE (O.S.): You wouldn't kill a defenseless man, would you, Laszlo?
ANGLE ON THE BAR
Connie stands behind the bar, directly opposite Laszlo, with her hands on her hips. As Laszlo raises his arm to point at her, she blinks once, and disappears. Laszlo's bolt of destruction shoots across the bar, into the mirror, an
d rebounds with a searing flash and a mighty ROAR.
After the barroom turns negative, all that's left of Laszlo is a big pile of ashes. Jake has been conscious long enough to see Connie's stratagem, and cranes his neck to look for her behind the bar.
CONNIE (O.S.) (continuing): I'm here, Jake.
Connie materializes beside Jake, and they find comfort in each other's arms.
EXT. HARRY'S MANSION - NEXT MORNING
Jake and Connie sit in the backyard gazebo, holding hands and looking forlorn. The wreckage of Harry's house is strewn around them, in the weak late-winter sun. Jake picks up a book from the seat beside him, and thumbs idly through it.
JAKE: So you taught yourself telekinesis.
CONNIE: When I thought you and Harry were murdered, I swore I'd find whoever did it...
JAKE (weak chuckle): Just like me.
CONNIE: ...and I knew I'd need to protect myself.
Jake reaches around Connie's shoulders and gives her a squeeze.
JAKE: You protected us both.
A whisper-like BEATING of wings grows louder, and Socrates lands on the railing of the gazebo.
SOCRATES: She saved us all, hotshot.
JAKE (surprised): Socrates?! But how...
SOCRATES (cross): I'm tired of you and Harry popping around to God-knows-where and who-knows-when, and leaving me behind.
JAKE: Socrates, I'm sorry to have to be the one to break this to you...
HARRY (O.S.): Nah, Jake, lemme break it to him.
Jake and Connie turn, mouths wide open, to see Harry standing on the other side of the gazebo.
HARRY (continuing): ...but what is it I gotta tell him?!
Jake jumps up to give Harry a hug, and Connie kisses his cheek.
CONNIE: How did you ever survive?
HARRY: I took a page outta Jake's book... when things got toasty, I took off for Annie's.
JAKE: Did you get hurt?
HARRY: Laszlo fried my leg pretty good... but Annie's a top-drawer medic.
CONNIE: Harry, I haven't seen you in over a month, and I have something to return to you.
Connie picks up the book from the gazebo seat.
CONNIE (continuing): I borrowed this without asking... I hope you don't mind.
Harry indicates the wreckage of the mansion with a gesture.
HARRY: Mind? Ya did me a favor... ya saved my favorite book of spells.
Harry opens the book, and a slip of paper falls out. He picks it up, glances at it, and hands it to Connie.
HARRY (continuing): Looks like ya left some notes in here.
Connie, puzzled, stares at the paper, and suddenly remembers.
CONNIE: Harry... this was a message for you! About a week ago, there was a call for you at the Castle... (reading) ...a Morgan L. Fay wanted to meet you on the San Pedro breakwater at high tide on the vernal equinox.
HARRY (brightening): Morgan Le Fay is in town?! Hot dog! What's today? When's high tide? Let's get this show on the road!
Harry SNAPS his fingers; he, Jake, Connie and Socrates all POP out of the back yard.
EXT. SAN PEDRO BREAKWATER - CONTINUOUS
Jake, Connie and Socrates POP in on the huge pile of rocks. Socrates winds up in mid-air, and has to FLAP his wings, to get himself over to Jake's shoulder.
SOCRATES: I keep telling him to give me some warning... (pause) ...but I guess it's better than being left behind.
JAKE: I just wish he wouldn't snap his fingers... that gives me the willies.
Harry POPS in, reading a small booklet, and munching on a stick of dried meat.
HARRY: Sorry... I had to stop off at a surf shop to get the tide tables. Anybody wanna piece of shark jerky?
JAKE, CONNIE & SOCRATES (wincing, in unison): No, thanks!
Harry looks at his watch.
HARRY: It's 11:15 on the equinox, and high tide's at 11:45, so we'll just...
Harry starts to snap his fingers, but Jake grabs his hand.
JAKE: We'll wait... 'cause if you snap your fingers one more time, I'll personally knock you into the middle of next week.
HARRY (smiling): And you're just the guy to do it... sorry, fella!
CONNIE: What will you do from here, Harry?
HARRY: Morgan probably wants to take me to Avalon.
CONNIE (incredulous): You mean the mystical Celtic island of blessed souls?
HARRY: Nah... out on Catalina Island, the main town is called Avalon. Bill Wrigley built a casino over there, with his chewin' gum money. (snaps his gum) It sounds like a good spot for a high-roller con game!
JAKE: You once told me you came from another time... do you ever want to go back?
HARRY: Mebbe some day... (pause) Television is big, where I come from, and I always thought I'd make a good actor. Could ya see me playin'... oh, say, a judge?
Harry strikes a serious pose, and holds it while everyone looks at him curiously.
JAKE, CONNIE & SOCRATES: (in unison): Nah!
Everyone LAUGHS together... just then, a heavy fog starts to roll in, and a barge appears out of the mist. Harry peers at the robed FIGURE on the deck.
HARRY: You guys wait for me here.
Socrates flies beside Harry, as he walks down the breakwater and steps onto the barge. Harry joyously hugs the WOMAN in the robes. They talk with animated gestures, but their conversation is inaudible. Jake turns to Connie:
JAKE: I think Harry needs to go away for awhile. What are your plans?
CONNIE: I'll keep on working at the Magic Castle, I guess. And you?
JAKE (hesitant): I think we could make a pretty good team, you and I. (pause) I mean professionally, of course.
CONNIE (smiling): Of course.
They kiss.
JAKE: Between the two of us, there's a lot of magic.
CONNIE: A whole lot.
They kiss again, long and lingering.
JAKE: But first, I've got to make a trip back to St. Louis. There's some unfinished business with my father...
CONNIE: Alright.
JAKE: Maybe you could come with me...
CONNIE: I'd like that.
Harry steps off the barge, with Socrates on his shoulder.
HARRY: I think I'm going to Avalon.
Jake looks at Connie.
JAKE: And I think we're going to St. Louis.
Harry smiles broadly, and hugs them both.
HARRY: I wish you guys the best of luck.
SOCRATES: And may your cellar be full of rodents.
HARRY (scolding): Socrates, that's downright raunchy...
SOCRATES (arrogant): It's an old benediction, sacred in the annals of owl history.
Harry turns away from Jake and Connie... stepping onto the barge, and waving over his shoulder.
Socrates' head swivels halfway around, facing Jake and Connie.
CONNIE: Bye, guys!
Everyone waves and ad libs GOODBYES. The mist thickens, as the robed woman raises her arms. The barge glides off, without a sound, or apparent means of locomotion, and vanishes into obscurity. As the fog gradually clears, no boat of any kind is visible on the water. Jake looks quizzically at Connie.
JAKE: I wonder if they ever decided which Avalon they were going to?
ANGLE ON THE BREAKWATER
The CAMERA ZOOMS OUT, as Connie shrugs, and they slowly make their way back to land.
THE END
###
With industry-standard Cole/Haag formatting, this screenplay is 98 pages long. Additional scripts by this screenwriter may be found at: https://9TimeZones.com/scr
Alan C. Baird enjoys referring to himself in the third person. Born down east, he now lives just a stone's throw from Phoenix... which is fine and dandy, until the stones are thrown back.
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