“Want me to help?” he asks quietly. “I can tell you what you normally do at these parties.”
I stare at him for a moment. I know that whatever is going to come out of his mouth will be utter bullshit but I can’t stop myself. I nod.
“Okay. What do I usually do?”
Gavin stares out to sea for a minute, then turns back to me, picking up my hand.
“Well, first you usually eat dinner with me. We grab some fresh crab legs because you love them. I have oysters because, well, you know what they say about oysters and the libido. Then, you drink about a dozen wine coolers. And then, at some point in the evening, you get sick. And I spend a chunk of time hunting for someone else to babysit you so that I don’t have to hold your hair back while you vomit. That’s what usually happens. So, I would suggest not drinking too many tonight.”
I shake my head. I guess he really is telling the truth. I was a party girl. Hmm.
“Good advice,” I tell him. “So, you need to eat oysters for your libido? Your libido isn’t strong enough without an aphrodisiac?”
Gavin stares at me for a second, before he bursts out laughing.
“Touché,” he tells me. “Trust me, my libido is healthy and thriving. Also, I forgot to mention one thing that you always, always do at these parties.”
And now I know to disregard whatever comes out of his mouth next because his eyes are twinkling, his mouth is curving up. But I still smile and ask what it is.
“You always go skinny-dipping with me,” he says impishly. “Always.”
It’s my turn to burst out laughing now.
“You’re crazy,” I tell him. “I call bullshit. You’re insane.”
He nods solemnly. “I know,” he tells me, unconcerned. “But you love me anyway.”
And I do love him.
I realize that right now. I don’t know what way I love him, but I do love him. Whether he’s the familiar brother that I never had or ultra-hot boyfriend material remains to be seen. But one way or another, I love him.
It’s a startling, yet comforting feeling.
Chapter Seventeen
I restrain myself and only have two wine coolers. I can’t imagine drinking any more than that, because honestly, I don’t enjoy the taste. But Reece and Dante both seem proud of me for my restraint, so I decide that I definitely must’ve been a wild party girl of some sort. Gavin had been telling the truth, after all.
Night falls quickly out here overlooking the water and I watch the sun sink down over the horizon in an explosion of gorgeous colors that ricochet off the water and bathe everything in gorgeous light. Reece wraps her arm around my shoulders.
“What do you think, Mi?” she asks. It’s an open ended question.
“About what? How the world began? I think it was divine design. About world relations? I think that Caberra is in a good place- both economically and politically. I know the prime minister, so I feel good about that.” I’m joking now and Reece rolls her eyes.
“I meant, what do you think about your life?” she says.
“Oh,” I answer. “And I thought you were asking a big question.”
She laughs now, but she waits for my answer. Because she’s my friend, she’s actually interested. Drat. I have to give her a thoughtful answer.
Um.
“I don’t know,” I admit to her. “I honestly don’t. I think about it all the time, because I can’t help it. I’m constantly wondering how the new me compares to the old me and which one is actually me. It’s confusing and exhausting. Like tonight, it would seem that I used to be a party girl. But I honestly don’t feel the need to get wild or crazy. It’s like I’ve spun around in a 180 from the girl I used to be. And I wonder if it’s partially because of the head injury. I mean, will I go back to normal? Or was my old “normal” just a façade? Was I pretending to be someone that I wasn’t? I just don’t know and it is frustrating.”
I pause here and take a breath.
Reece stares at me. Her eyes are wide and blue and I can see empathy in them, even though it’s dark.
“Don’t feel sorry for me,” I tell her. “Seriously.”
“I don’t,” she answers. “I just sort of know how you feel.”
I raise an eyebrow. “You’ve had amnesia?”
She laughs. “No, but I’ve had an identity crisis. When Dante and I first got together, I felt a little lost. There I was, in love with Caberra’s ‘prince’, but I was- and still am- a farm girl from Kansas. I’m not from a big, fancy family. I didn’t even know how to act at those black tie functions that Dante always has to attend. If it weren’t for you, I would’ve been totally lost. But I eventually figured out that no matter what situation I am in, I am always me. And that will always include the fact that I am a Kansas farm girl, born and bred. I will always eat steak sauce on my steak and wear cowboy boots and I will always feel more comfortable in worn out jeans than a ball gown. But that’s okay- because that’s what makes me, me. Your feisty spirit makes you, you. You will always be witty and slightly rebellious. No matter how you choose to act, or who you choose to be, you will always be that sassy person that we all love.”
“I do feel sassy,” I tell her. “So that must be an innate trait of mine.”
“Yes,” she smiles. “It is. Now, where did our boys get to?”
Our boys?
I turn with her and search out the crowd. Quinn is sitting next to Elena and they are deep in conversation. He doesn’t see me watching and that is fine. Dante and Gavin are standing together on the edge of the crowd. Gavin instantly catches my eye and grins. And I am instantly reminded that his grin is knee-weakening.
“He’s got a gorgeous smile,” I remark offhandedly to Reece.
“Yup,” she agrees. “And he knows how to use it.”
“Yup,” I answer. Because he so, so does.
Dante motions to Reece to come join him and Gavin makes his way to me. He grins as he approaches, and I feel a little like a lion and its prey. Gavin doesn’t look away the entire time he is walking. His dark eyes are fixed on me.
“So,” he drawls as he stops next to me. “About that skinny-dipping thing? I honestly think you’ll feel more like yourself if you start doing things that you used to do. I’m no doctor, but it makes sense. Don’t you think?”
I smile. “Maybe,” I say playfully and Gavin’s eyes instantly fill with hope.
“Really?”
I shrug and decide to throw caution to the wind.
“Sure. Why not? Everyone else is back over that way and it’s just you and me here. And apparently, we used to do this all the time. So, it’s not like it’s anything you haven’t seen before.”
I know as well as he does that we’ve never skinny-dipped. And he looks a bit startled now, but then he masks it and returns to his ultra-cocky self.
“Great,” he tells me. “I’m glad you’re up for it.”
What he really means is, Challenge Accepted. He’s not going to back down.
And neither am I.
I smile.
“Great,” I say. I walk down to the water and start unbuttoning my shorts. The moonlight hits the water in ripples and makes it seem black, instead of the blue that I know it is. It’s chilly and as I shrug out of my shirt, the breeze sends goose bumps forming down my arms. I rub them as I turn to Gavin.
“Why are you still dressed?” I ask. I know the answer is because he was watching me undress. But I pretend to not know that.
“Um, no reason,” he says as he kicks off his shorts and unbuttons his shirt. He peels it off and then we’re left staring at each other in our underwear. He’s very muscular in a tall and slender way. Probably from swimming so much. I’m still wearing my bra and I suddenly feel exhilarated- although I don’t know if it is from standing in front of Gavin in my panties or whether it is from all the rippling muscles on his abs.
It’s one or the other, though.
“Come on,” I tell him. I turn for the sea and strip off my underwear
and bra at the water’s edge, tossing it behind me into the sand. I dive into the water headfirst, allowing the cold water to rush over my naked skin.
I love this feeling. It’s like I have no restrictions, no inhibitions and I’m totally free. I splash to the surface and turn to find Gavin right in front of me. His wet arms slide against mine and my breath freezes on my lips.
His gaze is dark.
His smile is wicked.
And so is mine.
“Come here,” he tells me, pulling me to him. I slide against him, and every inch of us is naked and pressed together. Every inch.
My heart pounds as he kisses me. His hands are pressed into my back, pushing me closer into his chest. His fingers are warm while the rest of us is cold from the sea. The moon shines onto us, making our skin seem silver in the dark.
His lips slide away from mine, leaving my breath ragged and panty.
“Kiss me again,” I instruct him, wrapping my arms around his neck.
“Done,” he whispers. He lifts me up and I wrap my legs around his waist and he’s pressing against me there. And I like it. I don’t take the time to wonder what that makes me. Instead, I just kiss him again and again.
An image of Quinn pops into my head, but it is quickly overshadowed by an image of Quinn with Elena. Quinn made the choice, I didn’t.
Gavin is right for me. I can feel it. And I’m pretty sure it’s not the wine-coolers talking. I only had two. He knows me. Really knows me. And that’s got to be right for me in a time when I don’t know myself.
His breath is ragged now, his heart pounding against my chest. His gaze is inky black in the night.
“Mia,” he whispers. And he opens his mouth to say something else, but we are interrupted by flashing lights. White pops of light.
What the hell?
I’m disoriented for a minute, looking around to see where the light is coming from.
“Go,” Gavin yells to me, pushing me toward the shore. And then he’s gone. I can’t even see where he went. I’m confused and then I see dark shadows moving on the shore with the white light.
Cameras.
Someone is taking our picture.
I’m astounded. Everything is happening in blurs and I don’t even know what to do but sink into the water so that whoever it is can’t see me naked. It’s all so disorienting.
And then Quinn is striding toward me. His face is grim and set and he is taking off his shirt as he plows into the water. He doesn’t even slow down.
When he reaches me, he stares down at me.
“Oh, the messes you get yourself into,” he says quietly.
He scoops me out of the water and drapes his shirt around me. And then he carries me out of the sea. Men in suits have chased away the people with cameras. Dante’s security detail, apparently. And I see Gavin on the beach, pulling his clothes on.
He starts to talk to me, but I interrupt, still ensconced in Quinn’s arms.
“You left me!” I snapped. Gavin looks surprised.
“What would you have me do?” he asks, still clearly surprised. “They wanted our pictures. If our parents saw those pictures, we’d be in serious trouble.”
“Who are they?” I ask, still aware that Quinn hasn’t set me down. I can feel his strong arms encircling my naked body. His heat is scorching. Or that might be my temper. I can’t tell.
“They are trying to get our pictures for their gossip sites,” Gavin tells me. “They like to sneak out here when they think we might be having a party to catch unruly behavior on film.”
And it dawns on him that these are things that I don’t remember.
“Oh, god. Mia, I’m so sorry. I forgot that you wouldn’t know what was going on. I’m sorry. I thought you would know to run for cover. I guess I did leave you.”
He is genuinely apologetic. But that doesn’t change the fact that he left me. And I’m fairly certain that when I was standing there like a deer in the headlights, they got many pictures of me. Naked.
OhLord.
“Can you take me home?” I ask Quinn. He nods.
“Of course.”
He doesn’t put me down, he just turns and walks over the sand dunes with me in his arms. I ignore Gavin’s shouts from behind us as I look up at Quinn.
“You can put me down,” I tell him. “I should get my clothes. They’re on the beach.”
As if on cue, Reece jogs up with my clothing in her arms.
“I’ve got her, Reecie,” Quinn says before she can even speak. She nods.
“Okay. I just thought Mia might want to get dressed before you go back to the house.”
Of course I do.
I can’t imagine the look on my mom’s face if I walk- or get carried- into Giliberti House as naked as the day I was born.
“Thank you, Reece,” I sigh. “I guess some things don’t change. I’m still getting myself into messes.”
She shakes her head. “Gavin shouldn’t have left you. He feels terrible though. I’ll see you at the house. Here’s Dante’s keys. You can take his car. I’ll find Dante and then meet you there. I’ll have Gavin drop us off.”
I nod. “Thank you- take your time.”
She ducks back into the night and I see her blonde hair fading into the dark.
Quinn still hasn’t put me down.
“There are bath houses up ahead,” he tells me. “You can go inside and change without worrying about someone else taking a picture. I’ll guard the door.”
I am instantly relieved and indebted to him and impressed with his consideration. I am all of these things at once. And because there are so many things, I don’t even know how to express them.
So I just nod and say, “Thanks.”
Quinn grins down at me. “Sure thing, tiny tot.”
He puts me down in the doorway of one of the little bath-houses and I very quickly pull on my clothes. When I walk back out, he is still alone, leaning against the wall of the building. He’s so big, but he’s got such a big heart, too.
“I will always remember you plunging into the water to save me,” I tell him quietly. “Especially because you don’t know how to swim.”
He shakes his head.
“It wasn’t that big of a deal,” he tells me. “Seriously. The water was only chest deep. I saw you out there looking so confused and I knew I had to come get you. I had clothes on,” he reminds me. “You didn’t. That made it a little easier for me to walk in front of everyone. What possessed you to go skinny-dipping, anyway? You had to know that you guys are constantly watched for photo ops. If Dante’s there, there’s going to be photographers.”
“I forgot,” I told him. “I didn’t remember that.”
And I feel deflated.
I feel the total opposite of how exhilarated I felt when I was in the water.
I still feel naked, though—just in a different way.
“Of course you didn’t remember,” Quinn says. “Someone should have reminded you.” He’s sympathetic now. And I hate that. But I don’t say anything.
We ride to Giliberti House in silence. The irony that Quinn is driving Dante’s car isn’t lost on me. I can’t help but constantly feel surprised at how well they get along now, when I know that they were on rocky terms at first.
“What’s with you and Dante?” I ask as Quinn pulls into the Giliberti drive. He glances over at me.
“What do you mean?”
“You get along so well,” I point out. “I figured that since you used to have a thing for Reece that you and Dante would butt heads.”
Quinn laughs, a sound that is husky and rich in the night. Even his laugh has an American accent. I like it.
“Dante and I are fine,” he tells me. “He didn’t know what to think of me at first, but once he realized that Reece and I aren’t a thing, he was fine. He’s really easy to get along with.”
“As are you,” I tell him.
“Well, that’s what I’m told,” he tells me as he uncurls himself from behind the wheel. He com
es around the car to open my door, like a