Chapter Five
I was a nervous wreck that cold Sunday morning as we set off for service. My mind was filled with all sorts of bright colors and scents but the one scent that overwhelmed my senses was Adam Holloway’s. That straw like scent brought goose bumps all over my skin.
Reverend Joshua Smith’s choice of sermons on that day sent my heart riveting when in his characteristic deep husky yet powerful voice he addressed all gathered inside the church.
‘Dear beloved,' he bellowed, 'we are gathered here today, in the name of our risen lord and Christ…'
My mind was in two places.
'….today's reading is taken from the book of Ecclesiastes, chapters twelve, and verse one to eight.’ The church minister went on.
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth
For your love is more delightful than wine,
Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes;
Your name is like perfume poured out.
No wonder the young women love you!
Take me away with you-let us hurry!
Let the king bring me into his chambers…
Adam Holloway was all I could think about. I knew he was seated somewhere in the crowd, listening to this same sermon. How I longed for him. I hoped he too was thinking of me like I was of him. As I made my way out of the church pressed in the midst of the crowd, his sweet voice whispered into my ear,
‘See you tonight ten o’clock, will throw stone at your window. Wait for me.’
Turning around, I was instead shoved by bodies of strangers eager to step out into the open.
On our way back home, mother in her usual excited mood, gathered us to herself. It was her habit to inquire about anything and everything.
‘Call me old Leila but I thought I saw some lad who looked quite similar to that Holloway boy pressed against you by the church stairs.’
‘Mom, I didn’t see anyone.’ I replied. I wasn’t ready to engage her or anyone else again on that subject.
‘When is papa coming back?’ I asked trying to change the conversation.
‘In a week’s time or so he said,' she replied, 'but I still think I saw that boy.'
‘Well, if you did see him mother, why didn’t you say hello to him?’ I shot back drawing chuckles from Abby and Amy who were probably certain it was indeed Adam.
‘So what did he say?’ Abby quizzed as soon as we were alone in the bedroom.
‘He said he’s coming to see me tonight.’ I replied excitedly.
‘Lei, you very well know he isn’t welcome here.’ She interjected.' But tell me again, what time did he say he'd come?'
‘He said ten o’clock,' I replied, ‘and that he would throw rocks at our window.’
‘How will he know which window to throw rocks at and what if Miss Sweeney spots him?' She asked in a low tone. She sounded worried.
‘I don’t know Sis, and then I guess we are done for.’ I replied.
‘Okay, don’t you worry Lei,' sounding firm, 'let us keep the light on after supper, hopefully this will signal to him.’
‘What of annoying Amy?’ I inquired afraid.
‘Don’t you worry about her, she sleeps like a log.’
‘And mom?’
‘You know Leila, you worry too much sometimes. Nothing will go wrong trust me.' She said.
After dinner, Abby made sure the lights in our room didn’t go out. She also kept our window curtains drawn apart.
Soon Amy dropped off to sleep. Me, I was as anxious as ever. I kept my clothes and shoes on. Abby had forbid any conversation between us because these might attract mom or Miss Sweeney’s attention. When the house clock struck ten, my heart accelerated its rhythms and I began to sweat. A few more minutes went by in silence and I began to feel maybe Adam wouldn’t show up after all.
‘He will, come trust me.’ Abby whispered to me. It was as though she could read my mind.
‘I didn’t say he wouldn’t come,’ I whispered back. ‘Am just a little concerned maybe it isn’t worth it, really. ‘Lei, don’t say that, you are worth it. Look at you.’ She whispered, ‘you are as beautiful as the stars in the sky.’
‘You are only trying to make me feel better,’ I interjected, ‘admit it Sis.’
Just then, something struck our window. I held my breath,
‘Did you hear that?' Abby whispered.
‘I did,’ I whispered back unable to hide my excitement.
Again, it struck. It was light and deliberate. Adam had come for me.
‘Quick, let me help you out.’ Abby said grabbing at my hand and steading my feet on a raised object she had readied by the window. She already had the window wide open. I could tell from the rushing wind that greeted my face.
‘God speed.’ she whispered ‘but don’t stay too long. It might be hard to get you back in if you find me already asleep.’ she kissed me on the cheek before helping me drop out side onto the ground in the cold.
‘Over here.’ He whispered, his sweet voice piercing through the air into my ears. I followed its direction. Dear friend, you might be wondering how I was able to locate him in the dark without my cane but I did locate him, eventually, after a few minutes of wandering about in the compound aimlessly.
‘Hey, you came,’ I said once I had felt his arms and smelt the straw scent. I was almost out of breath just from sheer nervousness alone.
‘Yes Leila, I came, I had to see you.’ he replied. The loud sounds of crickets and frogs in the nearby stream almost drowned our conversation. A few more seconds went by without either of us saying a word. It was I who broke the silence.
‘Adam.’
‘Yes?’ his voice was low and gentle.
‘I’m kind of scared about you and me.’
‘Why?’ he asked gently.
‘You know, I have never been in such a situation. I actually don’t know whether this is right or wrong.’
‘What does your heart tell you?’ he asked.
‘I don’t know, all I know is that it beats, fast.’
‘Then it must be telling you something.’
‘Aren’t you scared of my papa?’ I asked him
‘I am, but looking at you drives all my fears away.’ He replied.
‘Adam,' I said, 'let me honest with you. You see, guys like you don’t fall for girls like me. It’s unheard of. I am of no use to you in any way, a burden to you all the days of your life I will be if you choose to be with me. My blindness will only fill your life with sadness. Blind people can’t drive, nor ski. I sometimes wish I got to see first before I was blind, may be then I could be able to relate to people’s conversations.
He didn’t respond.
'Adam, you are quiet, why? Have I made you sad?’
‘Yes a little.’ He said, ‘come here.’ drawing me to himself and gently placing my head against his chest. It felt so comforting to hear his heartbeat. I could feel his breathing and his straw scent on his shirt. For a long while we both remained silent listening to each other's breaths.
‘Is it nice to be able to see?’ I asked him after what I thought was a long enough while. It was a question I’d never asked anyone before, not even Abby.
‘Yes it is.’ He answered in reply.
That for me was enough. I didn’t need any lengthy explanations. I felt deep within me, he spoke the truth and even if he knew it would hurt me to hear, it was the honest truth.
‘We all face certain challenges in life and we all have our limitations.’ He said, ‘but it’s how we cope with them that really matters. I don’t think you are blind Leila, I think you are special and I admire in you, your strength and resilience. I also don’t think of you as a burden or an inconvenience, rather I see a woman, a full woman who deserves to be loved and loved.’
I pulled myself away from him.
‘What do you mean deserves to be loved and loved?’
‘Leila, you deserve to be loved first and foremost because of who you are and not what you are. Being blind is not who
you are, it’s what you are, and secondly you deserve to be loved because I find you irresistible, simply adorable, attractive and beautiful.’
Dear reader, strange sweet colors flushed in my head as each of those words made its way into my ears. I felt strength drain within me and my knees became weak, I was lost in the sweetest moment but again, papa wouldn’t approve. The thought of papa jolted me back into reality.
‘Adam I think you should go now, it’s getting really late. Let’s meet tomorrow here, same time.’ I said not wanting to leave.
‘Leila, tomorrow I leave for Vermont.’
‘I am sorry?’ This hit me like a lightning bolt.
‘Someone it seems told my pips about you and me, so he’s decided to move me back to Vermont for the rest of the Holiday. I don’t think we will be seeing each other after tonight.’
‘Why?’ I found myself asking.
I wasn’t asking him, I was just speaking out my feelings. This couldn’t possibly be happening. A lump tugged onto my throat and I felt tears accumulate in my eyes.
‘I hate you Adam the third, you have ruined this night for me.’ I said feeling angry. What I didn’t say was, he possibly had ruined my whole life.
‘I should go back inside now Adam, it’s getting late.’ I said no longer wanting to stay out anymore.
‘Alright, I’ll lead you back.’ He replied in a low voice.
At the window, he lifted me high gently let me inside.
‘Okay, goodnight Leila, thanks for the evening.’ He whispered.
‘Goodnight.’ I whispered back before bolting the window locks and feeling my way to my bed. A twinge of sadness arrested me because much as I loved him, many challenges stood in our path. I couldn’t help but wonder what was on his mind as he trekked through the darkened corn fields back to filer creek. The prospect of me not ever being with him was all too real now. Vermont? Could I travel there? The prospect of escaping from home to go be with him started to make sense. After all, he loved me and I loved him too. I could quit school, it really didn’t matter that much to me anyway. All I wanted more than anything in the world was to be by his side, to comfort him and love him, that was all that mattered now.
Maybe I could speak to his pips, talk him into changing his mind and keep Adam here in Smithville. Again this would be too audacious. I chose to stick to the first plan, travelling to Vermont. This made sense but I needed money. This too presented another challenge. I didn’t have any. I‘d probably have to steal which meant involving Abby. With my mind made up, I rolled myself inside my cold bed and tried to fall asleep.