We left Frank’s place and headed to Damien’s apartment in my car. He didn’t say a word the whole way there.
“Are you going to be okay?” I asked, “You’ve been quiet.” The night was silent; we were the only two souls on the entire street.
“Come up first?” asked Damien, “I have a few more books for you to take home.”
I couldn’t resist Damien’s somber eyes. It’s like all the color in them was gone.
His student housing apartment was a little barren. Save for what amenities came with the house as part of the lease he signed when he first rented the place, few homely touches existed to make the place feel cozy. The apartment exuded a kind of non-committal vibe.
“Nice place,” I said. That’s what people say, isn’t it?
“Its home,” said Damien, heading toward the single bed. He sat down and sighed.
I followed Damien toward the bed and scanned his apartment again. There wasn’t anything interesting about it, but I worried I’d fall into a pit of sadness if I stared directly at him. I sat down.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
Damien ran his hands through his hair and sighed. “I didn’t know her,” he said, “I thought I knew her, but I didn’t even know she had a girlfriend.”
My heart broke for him. I couldn’t imagine not knowing everything about my immediate family. Corey and I didn’t speak, and it killed me that I didn’t know what she was up to. If anyone could relate to Damien in that moment, it was me. “I’m sorry. I know what it’s like.”
“I just wished she’d told me something. Anything. I don’t know what I ever did to make her feel like she had to keep me at a distance.”
“Maybe it was nothing you did. Some people just like to keep things close to their chests. I’m like that too. I don’t tell Eliza everything, and I tell Corey even less—and she’s my real sister. But I keep things from Eliza to spare her sometimes. I’m sure that’s what Lilith was doing with you. Lilith loved you.”
Damien looked up at me. In the dim light of his living room his features became more pronounced than they’d ever been. I gave him a comforting smile and reached for his hand, squeezing it caringly.
“Thanks,” he said, “For going through this with me. It’s been… tough.”
“You don’t make it easy,” I said.
“I can say the same about you.”
“Oh? And why’s that?”
“Because I…” Damien trailed off and fell silent. I could see the storm building behind his eyes as he gazed at me. The air in the room charged up with electricity. We were still holding hands. In an instant I remembered every glance we ever stole, every smile, every flutter of my heart. I thought back to that night on the bed at the cabin. Phantom fingers trailed down my ribs causing the skin to tingle.
He leant toward me.
“Damien,” I whispered.
“What?” he asked.
I didn’t know what to say. My eyes darted all over his face, from the glint in his eyes to the shine of his nose. His lips came close enough to touch mine. His warm breath tickled my mouth. Damien carefully wrapped a hand around the back of my neck and tilted my face to his, closing the gap.
Thousands of volts of electricity surged through me at the point of contact. I couldn’t move, frozen and melted all at once. He cupped my cheek with his other hand and pressed further into the kiss, parting my lips with his tongue. I snapped out of the reverie and took his slender face in my hands, finally participating in the kiss.
Damien pushed me into the bed with his lips and arched over me, not once allowing the kiss to break. I kicked off my boots. With the taste of his lips on mine, the warmth of his face and the feel of his hair between my fingers, I lost myself in the moment—and in him.
My fingers had a mind of their own. They searched for a way into his shirt, craving to feel the softness of his skin. I wrapped my arms around his back savored the moment. He pulled away from me and stared into my lips. I gazed back at him, heaving, and dove in for another kiss.
I pushed against him and sat him straight. Straddling him, I lifted his shirt over his head and tossed it aside before going for his neck and collar, hungrily kissing his skin and drinking in his scent. Damien’s hands explored my skin beneath my shirt and his touch lit a wildfire inside of me. I removed my lips from his chest, gazed into his eyes, and pulled the hem of my dress up over my head. I reached behind my back and unhooked my bra, slipping it off my shoulders and exposing myself to him.
Damien took me by the back of the neck again and pulled me to his lips. I caressed his shoulders and arms while we kissed. Each stroke of his fingertips on my skin left trails of electricity in their wake. I stared into his eyes and smiled as with bold hands I undid the buttons on his jeans and slid my hand into the empty space between his jeans and his briefs. Damien lost his breath as my fingers stroked the length of his member for the first time.
He drew my body to him and bravely brought his lips to my collarbone. Inside, I begged for him to touch me and taste me. I suspected I’d never wanted someone nearly as much as I did Damien, and when he wet my nipples with his lips and tongue I lost all doubt.
I sighed loudly and pushed myself into him, grabbing his head with both hands and pressing my breast into his mouth. Damien shuffled around beneath me and pulled down his jeans removed his boots. The thin fabric of our underwear was the only barrier between us. I ground my hips along the length of his shaft and began to moan as he worked on my breasts.
We were both heaving almost in unison as we kissed. His soft hands traced the curve of my backside. He slid his fingers into the line of my panties and pulled them down to my knees. I removed myself from him and stepped out of my underwear completely. Damien stared at me, in awe of my form.
Damien took my lead and got off the bed. He shuffled out of his underwear and stood before me, naked and erect. My blood was on fire. Gazing at Damien’s naked body, excited at the mere sight of me, was empowering and sexy. Without saying a word he took my hand and brought me to him, leading me toward the bed.
I climbed onto the bed and lay on my back. Damien followed. I spread my legs for him and he fit himself into the empty space between them with ease, arching over my body. His hair dropped on either side of his head and obscured his face. I brushed it away and kissed him.
As my tongue found his, Damien guided himself into me. I moaned into his mouth and drew my nails down his back, but there was no pain this time, only a steadily quickening rhythm and euphoric bliss. I sighed with him, groaned with him and rocked with him as we made love on his bed, both of us completely detached from the rest of the world… and of the consequences of our actions.
CHAPTER 34
The cold light of morning washed me out of the dream I’d been having. I tried to chase it, to get back into its sleepy embrace, but most dreams are happy to evaporate as soon as one’s primary consciousness kicks in. I’ll write it down, I thought, but as I shuffled onto my side I became all too aware of the arm draped around my back.
For a moment I’d forgotten where I was and who I was with, but when I glimpsed his sleeping face—his rosy cheeks—my stomach sank through the bed and into the ground. I blinked and ran a replay of the night’s events in my mind as they came to me. Butterflies performed aerial acrobatics in my stomach to an almost nauseating extent. Damien and I didn’t just go once. The clock had gone way past four in the morning before either of us got any sleep.
If Aaron was a quick, hot and sweaty sprint, Damien was an exhausting marathon run.
The bed creaked as I snuck out of it. While wiping the sleep from my eyes I went around the room and found my panties, dress and bra and slipped them on before going for my boots. Damien writhed around on the bed and breathed in deeply. I caught him staring at me with a sleepy smile.
“What?” I asked, smiling back.
“Good morning,” he said.
I came up to the bed and sat down next to him, stroking his hair out of his fac
e. “Are you feeling better?” I asked.
“Yeah, I am. Thanks.”
“What are you thanking me for?”
“For last night.”
“You don’t have to thank me for that.”
Damien sat upright. The sheets rolled down his chest toward his abdomen. My eyes wandered. You can really tell how beautiful someone is first thing in the morning. Aaron and I never had this, but even if we did and I had a real chance to compare them, Damien with his messy mop, sparkling hazel eyes and rosy red cheeks… I wanted to jump on top of him again and kiss him, take him in, stay with him in that sleepy room. But I couldn’t, and Damien sensed my hasty departure was imminent.
“Let me take you to breakfast,” he said.
“Breakfast? Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“Everybody’s got to eat. C’mon, I’ll buy.”
I wanted to decline, but my stomach grumbled in protest. “Alright, breakfast sounds good.”
We left Damien’s apartment after he got changed and went across the road to a little café called Breakfast 2 Go; a tiny establishment with, somehow, plenty of seating available inside and the tastiest, warmest, and most authentic French croissants this side of the continent.
I ordered myself a pancakes and a vanilla latte—white with plenty of sugar—and Damien did the same, though he didn’t quite need nearly as much sugar in his coffee as I did. We glanced at each other from across the table as the world passed us by on the other side of the window, but mainly sat in silence. Neither of us wanted to burst the bubble we’d made for ourselves.
Damien’s face lit up into a smile, and I caught myself smiling back while chewing a delicious piece of my pancake. I brought a hand to my mouth, embarrassed, and finished.
“I had fun last night,” I said.
“Me too,” said Damien. I could see him running an instant replay last night’s highlights.
“But I know it isn’t gonna happen again.”
Damien’s smile deflated like a hot air balloon with a hole poked in the side. “Is it because of Claire?”
It occurred to me that in our time as friends I’d never asked him for his girlfriend’s name. I didn’t know who he was talking about until the penny dropped.
“It was a moment of weakness on both our parts, Damien.”
Damien pursed his lips and nodded.
“I don’t regret it,” I said, “but I can’t do it again if you’re with someone.”
“You’re right,” said Damien. “I probably shouldn’t have…” I wondered if the guilt over what he’d done was wringing his insides the same way it was twisting mine.
“I had a part to play too,” I said, “We just have to not let things get weird.”
“I’m not having the best time with Claire,” said Damien, “This long distance thing, it’s tougher than I thought.”
“Damien, you don’t have to lie to me. I know you’re doing fine.”
“What makes you say that?”
“I told you; I’m more perceptive than you think.”
Damien glanced at the window to the street and let out a sigh. I didn’t disbelieve him—I had a feeling his relationship wasn’t easy on either of them—but I also thought he may have been exaggerating on account of the high. I forgave him for it in an instant.
“I’m a big girl,” I said, “I know what this was, and I can handle it. Let’s just not go back there again and everything will be fine.”
I meant what I said, too. No need to dress the incident up in clean clothes. The whole thing was a dirty interlude, just another secret to add to the already heaping pile, but it was worth it.
CHAPTER 35
After paying for my breakfast I left Damien alone in the café and took the scenic route. From the ground, the dark tree line in the distance reminded me of little spears, teasing the belly of thick coal clouds crawling overhead.
On days where the clouds were low and grey, when the previous night’s light rain made the streets slick and clean, I could always sense a kind of charge in the air. There are some who believe that bad weather—rain, wind, dark skies—is a conductor for spiritual energy. It’s an old superstition, but when I think horror I think of thunder and lightning first, not ghosts and ghouls. Maybe there’s truth to it?
I’d personally grown up used to seeing symbols in everything. For me gloomy skies weren’t necessarily a bad omen, quite the contrary, rain is cleansing, but too much rain only causes problems.
Crisp air hit my face as I stepped out of the car and I welcomed it. I made my way to the front door of my house, searching for my keys, and spotted a note scribbled on a white piece of paper pinned to my door and flickering in the breeze. It had bene pinned to the door by a crude nail and simply read:
“You’re next, freak.”
The words cut through me like a hot knife through butter. At once my body went hot and cold, seemingly unable to settle on one or the other. Do I get back in the car and leave or go into the house? Screw that. I yanked the note from the door and headed for my car with adrenaline pumping through my system.
I drove recklessly, barely making it out of my neighborhood without slamming into another car—or person—along the way. If there’d been cops nearby I would’ve been pulled over immediately, but I didn’t care. My home, my most sacred place, had been violated. They knew where I lived.
Rain yet hadn’t fallen from the coal clouds, but I expected it at any moment. I drove hard toward the outskirts of town and stopped by the side of the road. From the trunk I retrieved a large black bag I’d left there since the weekend at the cabin. Inside it were all the trinkets I’d decorated my room at with. I was glad I hadn’t moved it into my house yet. With the bag swung over my shoulder I ran into the thicket of trees and bushes.
The forest was wet beneath my boots and full of life. Birds chirped, frogs croaked and leaves and twigs cracked and crunched. There wouldn’t be a human out here for miles, only me and nature. I found a wide enough spot in an enclosure of trees and set my bag down. From within the bag I pulled out a few tall candles, matches, sage, a small bowl and the note which I’d found nailed to my door. I knelt before the candles, lit them and placed the sage-filled bowl before me.
“Goddess, hear me.” I said, between tired breaths. I handled the note in my hands. Every miniscule groove and bump became sand dunes to my sensitive fingers, ready to be sifted through. “I call to thee as your child of light and invoke thy presence.” A droplet of rainwater kissed my nose, another reached my hands. Goosebumps crawled up my arms and shoulders. “Grant me your intuition and insight,” I pleaded.
Striking a match, I lit the sage and let it burn in the bowl. A Raven fluttered into my periphery and landed on the damp leaves ahead of me. The bird cawed, but I kept my gaze on the steady flame rising from the bowl and allowed myself to sense the Currents of Magick as they flowed through and around me.
Impressions came forth into my consciousness like the echoes of feelings and concepts; indifference, authority—bravado—the ethereal imprints made me taste male sweat. But the thoughts evaporated like clouds, disappearing before I could truly hold onto them and analyze them. The sage turned to ash and the feelings vanished.
The Raven hopped further into view. It could’ve easily been the same bird which led me to the river that day at Briar Park, but the mere suggestion was ludicrous. A rustle in the bushes beyond the Raven’s form caught my attention. The bird fluttered away and I snapped to my feet.
“Who’s there?” I called out, hands clenched tightly by my side. “Come out!”
I advanced. My body trembled, but I was poised and ready to lash out with all the power of the Southern Watchtower—to hell with Damien’s disclaimer. The sky above grumbled at my thought. A gust of wind strong enough to kick leaves and twigs up from the ground enveloped me. The bushes rustled again and a figure darted out of them! I gave chase only to discover my quarry was an animal way faster than I could ever hope to be; a grey furred wolf.
/> The wolf scattered through the trees and disappeared in moments, but the roiling wind didn’t cease. I gazed up at the sky. The clouds churned like rushing rapids. Sparks of purple light flickered within, revealing near monstrous shapes. I raised my palms and imagined a calm sky, free of lightning and rain. I thought I could undo whatever I’d done.
Lightning struck so close to me I nearly jumped out of my skin. I protected my face with my hands and backed away from the sound of crackling wood as a tree branch snapped off its trunk and fell to the ground, smoldering. I dashed toward my makeshift circle of power, grabbed my candles and my bag, and ran back the way I came, following the trail until I reached my car, breathless.
I threw my bag into the backseat and made it into the car before just as the sky opened up into a waterfall of torrential rain. The Goddess was angry with me. Damien told me not to invoke the South on my own. Fire is difficult to contain. But fire is what you call to when you want to defend yourself, when you want to feel safe. What I couldn’t understand was why this was all happening. I’d only thought about calling the Watchtower. Is that all it took now?
The rain picked up and incessantly hammered my car. With the windshield wipers swaying from side to side as fast as they could to keep the water out of my view I drove back into town. A traffic jam on the road, probably thanks to the rain, gave me enough time to think about what’d happened in the woods and calm down.
Who could’ve left that note? I ran through a list of all of the people who checked the boxes; freak, bravado, arrogant and authoritative. I finally landed on a name, and all time stood still. I stared at the display on my dashboard. The hum of the engine and the roaring rainfall drowned my senses until, through gritted teeth, I said the name aloud.
“Aaron.”
CHAPTER 36
Though the drive down from the woods gave me time to relax, the closer I got to Aaron’s place, the more my hands would shake. Blood rushed to my cheeks. My heart pounded against my chest and temples. Aaron couldn’t be behind this. He chased off my attacker on the night I came under attack, unless I was too hurt to truly understand what was going on?