“No, I’ve had everything else there for a couple weeks now. We just need the furniture.”
“I tried to get it for you tonight,” he admitted, passing the buck to me.
“Yes, we know. I’m an enigma, like the universe.”
“I never said that.”
“Yes, huh, dad.”
“You stay out of this,” Blake ordered with a pointed spoon. Pea giggled, looking up from the letter P that she was making with the little green peas.
That day will go down in history for best day ever. Pea stayed with Grace and took a nap so she wouldn’t be tired for the circus while Blake and I moved the rest of our clothes to our new home. Everything was there, everything except the furniture that I would have to wait on now. Oh well, I wasn’t about to give up the circus with Pea, or maybe I was excited for me. I’d never been to a circus and I was sort of excited about it.
I was excited until Blake moved the box of photos. “Do you have any circus photos in here?”
“No, I’ve never been to the circus.”
“Really? You’ve never been to the circus?”
“Nope. That’s why I wanted to—”
“What’s wrong?” Blake asked when I stopped hanging his clothes in our closet.
“Nothing. That’s why I wanted to go to the circus with Pea. It’s both our first times.”
“No. You stopped like you were thinking about something. Like a memory. Was it the mention of the photos?”
I pushed the hangers back and straightened them, eyeing the two fingers apart rule my mother used to tell me about. That’s how much space was needed to keep from wearing wrinkled clothes. If they were closer than that, it was time to clean out your closet.
“It wasn’t that at all.”
“Then what?”
“I just put your clothes in the same closet with mine,” I explained. I didn’t realize how silly it sounded until I heard it. Blake smiled and laid the box of photos on the floor.
“You know what?” he asked, moving toward me.
“What?”
“I was thinking the exact same thing when you were hanging yours up.”
“You were?”
“Yes. And you know what else?”
“We’re not having sex.”
“We’re not?”
“No.”
“Why? We have plenty of time. I kind of wanted to fuck you in the shower.”
“You did?” I asked already feeling the throb.
My lips parted for the kiss that was just a quick peck. “Yeah, with the door open.”
“The door open?” I questioned. Blake’s hands went up my shirt and his tongue dove inside my mouth. We spent a few seconds engaged in a rapturing kiss, before he replied with a pant on my lips.
The snap on my jean-shorts popped and the zipper sound was deafening. “Yes. With the door open, I’ll be able to watch you pinned to the tile with your legs around my waist while I fuck you.”
“Oh,” I replied like that made it all okay. My mind had stopped rationalizing the moment he was within reaching distance. I tugged his shirt from the bottom and lifted it over his head. The beating in my chest picked up a couple extra beats when Blake slid my fingers inside my shorts with his. The emotional kiss helped keep me balanced while his hand guided mine along my wet folds. No. Not wet. Drenched. Jesus…
“Does that feel good?”
I moaned in his mouth when he didn’t give me time to answer, “Mmm hmm.”
“Keep moving your fingers,” he whispered to my neck while he lifted my shirt over my head. Sliding my shorts down my hips, Blake left a trail of warm kissed down my body, stopping to slide his tongue between my fingers and to my throbbing nub. My fingers stilled while his tongue danced and I stepped out of my shorts. “Keep moving,” he persuaded, using his hand to coax mine to move again. That’s when it dawned on me that I was standing in front of the closet door. The one with the full length mirror. No wonder he kept looking over my shoulder. This charade went on until we were both naked and over the moon aroused; like it couldn’t get any more erotic than this. Holy—
Or could it?
Blake spun me with an unexpected twist. My eyes landed on his through the mirror and I briefly froze. Blake’s hands went to mine, helping me get started again. Oh dear lord. I couldn’t do this. “Make yourself come, Makayla,” he whispered to my neck and shoulders. He kept his hand over mine until he knew I had the rhythm again.
I only tried begging for mercy once. “Blake, I can’t do this like this.”
“Yes you can. You let me watch last night,” he reminded me of the other embarrassing fact.
“Yeah, but I wasn’t watching and you made me.”
Blake smiled through the mirror, “Come, Makayla.”
And so I did. I had to. There was nothing I could do. This was another one of those moments my mom was talking about. The scared, exhilarating, emotional stimulations, pumped excited adrenalin through my veins. Blake lifted my right leg and held me to his body with one hand flat against his chest. “Open your eyes.”
“I can’t.”
“Open your eyes.”
“Blake,” I moaned a moment too late. It was fast; swept through me quicker than I knew what was coming. My fingers moved faster, applying more pleasure, but my eyes closed when my head fell back to Blake’s chest. He didn’t make me open them that time though. I don’t think he was looking at my eyes.
“Yes, Makayla. Rub it. Hmm, yeah baby, make it come for me.”
I don’t know who was controlling my voice box at that time, but it sure as hell wasn’t me. I was never that loud. Ever. Again, before I was even coherent from whatever that was, Blake surprisingly spun me again. The closet door closed behind us and my back was slammed against the cool mirror. My legs wrapped around his waist when he lifted me by my ass.
“Fuck, girl,” Blake, rasped, sliding into me. I think that’s what he said, anyway. I was somewhere else. Heaven I think.
“Blake, I’m not going to…going to…Aaahhhh…Fuck…Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I called, letting dirty words echo through the closet. My hips rocked back and forth and I rode out every single wave until it had passed through me to Blake. The expression on his face tensed and the veins popped in his neck. Jolting inside of me, Blake let go, staring into my eyes. I swear there was something phenomenal going on when Blake and I came together, something only this kind of contact can achieve. It was extraordinary. Out of this world.
“Whoa. See, that’s what I was talking about. You’re as mysterious as the universe, a universal enigma. Those were my exact words. Jesus, Makayla,” Blake exclaimed.
“Why do you think I am mysterious?”
“You keep surprising me.”
“Like how?”
“Like when I looked through that little circle today and watched you mopping the floor. I knew Pea overflowed the toilet or something.”
“Oh my God, she did. She was afraid someone was going to find out that she poops or something,” I explained.
The recollection of the day’s earlier mishap went over my head as being playful. It wasn’t. Blake was being serious. I stopped talking when I witnessed the look. He didn’t want to hear about how Pea used enough toilet paper for ten little girls.
“Like the way you can scold Pea without scolding her. Like the way you can get under my skin as much as Janie used to, but nobody in between ever could. Like the way you do this. I don’t know what this is, but there is something magic about it, something that doesn’t happen with every couple. I know that to be a fact now. I’ve been with plenty of women, and I’m here to testify that this isn’t your normal couple love making. It’s not, Makayla.” Blake explained it to me like he was trying to convince me. There was no need for convincing. I believed him one hundred percent. I felt it too.
“I believe you,” I responded, losing my cheerful, Pea tone, and coming down to his dramatic, soft tone. Blake kissed me with a long, passionate kiss and dropped my legs to the floor
. Thank God for the kiss. My legs would have given out had he just let me go. They were like Jell-O.
“Now will you let me see you with freckles?”
“How do you know I had freckles?”
“I’m just guessing that you did.”
“Because Janie did? Pea doesn’t have freckles.”
“I know, Janie didn’t have them either. Her skin was just like Pea’s, creamy-tan with a glowing complexion.”
“I didn’t have freckles.”
“No?”
“Nope, not one. Let’s grab a shower. We have to leave soon.”
“We have almost two hours. You’ll be ready faster than I am. Please. If you see anything that you think is going to upset you, we’ll stop.”
“Why do you care so much about those stupid photos?”
“Because I know you’re not looking at them for a reason. I want you to face that reason. I want you to be able to lay it to rest and move on; stop thinking about what’s in there and look.”
Well, damn. Blake just slapped me across the face with a realization that I hadn’t thought about. I was dreading the images I knew I was going to see.
“You’re right. Okay, we’ll look at them, but I still want to shower and get dressed first.”
“Deal.”
Blake was made out to be a liar when I procrastinated on getting dressed too. Then my hair needed to be blown dry. Then I needed to add makeup. Then my nails needed to be painted. Then—
“No. No you do not need to confirm an appointment with the internet people,” Blake assured me with a bit of irritation.
“Stop, it’s just an email. I just want to check real quick.”
“Makayla. This is your one and only warning. Put that phone down and sit your ass beside me. That’s an order.”
“You can’t—Aahhh!” I screamed as I was tackled to the floor. “Stop! Aahh! Blake, Stop! Okay! Okay!” I screamed, thrashing my body below his. Gah! I hated when he did that. Hated it!
“Here. Let’s start with this one.”
“You ass! Now my hair’s all messed up. I just fixed it. Hey, where’d you get that?”
“What?”
“That album. That’s not mine.”
“It’s not?”
“No. I’ve never seen it before. Let me see it.”
I sat beside Blake and leaned against the wall. The thin yellow album was decorated in blue gerbera daisies and a tiny blue bow held the book closed. I pulled on the ribbon and opened the first page.
My head tilted while my mind realized that I was holding something my mom didn’t want me to see. That’s why I never knew about it. My eyes narrowed and looked over to Blake.
“Is this like a homework assignment?” I questioned.
“I don’t know. What does it say?”
Orientation Requirement.
My life for the next twelve months.
I, Victoria Rain Carlie, agree to be open and honest, including but not limited to, any and all relationships that I may have. Any Jobs. Any friends. Any holiday’s. I understand that I am putting everything I do for the next twelve months out there for the sole purpose of this social experiment. I agree to keep this scrap book true to the best of my ability and hand it over to Professor Scarlet at the end of the semester for eighty percent of my grade.
Victoria R. Carlie
“She got an A+,” I said, looking at the big red letter.
“And a smiley.”
‘Good luck’ with a smiley-face was written out in the same red pen. I flipped the first page snapped my eyes to Blake. A wet tee-shirt contest? Really? My mom? Seriously?
“Well that looks fun,” Blake joked.
“It’s disturbing.”
“Why? Look at her face. Look how much fun she was having.”
I smiled, “She does look happy. I’m just surprised. She used to preach to me about how she was the responsible one in college, and how I had to hold my own and not get involved in the partying when I went off to college.”
“She lied to you,” Blake teased, turning the next page. She was drunk. She was so drunk with a red solo cup in one hand and an open beer in the other. I loved it. I loved that I ended up with this part of my mom’s life. It made me happy to know that she had friends like this, laughing and living her life to the fullest, like she always did. I guess I just never pictured her like that. I always thought she did the responsible thing. She didn’t. There were photos of her on stage, playing, and there were photos of her dancing all over some hot guy. My mother was a party animal in school. What a little conniver. I learned this part of my mom’s life for the first time and I was glad Blake made me look.
I think we got about a quarter of the way through when my posture straightened. It was my mother in a big pink sunhat. She stood behind a sign stuck in a muddy scoop of mud.
The sign read ‘Under renovation but open for business. Zazen Resorts.’
“This was the year she got pregnant with me,” I exclaimed.
“Do you want to stop?”
“Janie is going to be in here. Do you want me to stop?”
“No, I’m okay. Are you?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I want to see.”
Blake lit the numbers on his phone and informed me that our departure time was in fifteen minutes. The circus didn’t seem so important anymore. This was a big part of my mother’s life. Of my life.
“Let’s wait until tonight,” I decided.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Let’s go to the circus.”
Thirteen
Dinner at Mario’s Pizzeria, where they have the stringiest cheese ever, was so much fun. We had to pry Blake and Pea away from the driving game. I don’t know if I’ve ever heard Pea giggle so hard in her life. Pea busted a gut every time the car bounced them around, she sat on his lap and his big hands completely covered hers. I was sure that Blake was purposely hitting every ramp just to hear her giggle.
“Pea, seriously. We’re not going to get a good seat. Let’s go,” I complained when she wanted another dollar.
“My ticket is for a seat in the front, right Grandma Grace?”
“Yes, sweetie, but we still need to go. We’ll come back here again.”
“Tomorrow?”
“We’ll see. Let’s go. You can ride with me.”
“Okay,” she agreed, letting Grace take her hand.
“Blake, stop,” I yelled when he grabbed my arm and pulled me to his lap.
“No, I want you to shift my gears.”
My face turned a million shades of red and I looked to the smirking faces of Grace and Sarah. Gah! Jerk. I hated Blake Coast.
“You idiot,” I taunted with a glare, jumping off his lap. Even Barry had a smirk. I double hated him when Grace and Sarah laughed.
“Stop getting embarrassed. It’s cute, we love seeing you two in love.”
“I’m not in love with him. I don’t even like him.”
That got a laugh from all three of them. I took Pea’s hand and got away from all of them.
The attempt to be playful was quickly overlooked. As soon as Blake’s hand was in my lap in the car, I forgot I was mad at him again and I did love him. A lot.
The circus was a blast. I have to admit the delight on Pea’s face was more exciting than the show itself. I was pretty sure she would be adding the elephant to her new favorite animals. Especially once she got to see the magnitude of its great size. Grace’s cousin, John, took Pea’s hand and led her to the front of the line. Her expression was priceless when she was lifted to sit on the elephants back. It never changed the entire length of her two minute ride in a circle.
“I want to do it again,” she said when John lifted her down.
“We have to let the other kids have a turn.”
Guess what we did after that? We said goodbye to Barry and the grandmas and stood in line. FOR AN HOUR. Not only did Pea adopt the love for a new animal, she had a new career in mind too. She was going to wear a sparkling costume
and swing back and forth on the rope swings. Let’s hope she changes her mind on that one.
I wore a constant smile the entire ride home. Pea held all her treasures on her lap, including the little gray elephant. She had a blow-up monkey on a stick, a book all about the circus, a bag of half eaten cotton candy, a helium filled giraffe, and an empty plastic cup half full of peanuts.
When we got home Blake lifted her sleeping body out of the car and I gathered the treasures from her lap. Except for the soft elephant, she wasn’t letting go of him. “Oh shit!” I called, reaching for the helium filled balloon.
“Hey, you go get that,” Pea ordered, raising her head.
“I’m sorry, Pea. It slipped.”
“How are we going to get it back now?”
“We can’t, baby. Oh, man. Don’t cry. Please don’t cry. I’m sorry. I’ll get you another one, okay?”
“Okay,” Pea cried, wiping her little fingers down her face. I knew it was a cry of exhaustion more than anything. Pea didn’t normally get upset about the small things, she wasn’t wired that way, she was too busy being happy to sweat the small stuff. I knew she would forget it by morning, but it still broke my heart. I hated to see her cry.
Blake set her on the floor and I walked to the bathroom to help her get ready for bed.
“I will just brush my teeth in the morning. They’re too sleepy now, okay?”
“No. You’ll brush your teeth now,” I overruled. “You had pop, cotton candy, chocolate, and lord knows what else. The rotten teeth monsters would eat on your sweet teeth all night. Raise your arms,” I said, lifting her shirt. “You don’t want that do you?” I questioned, shoving the pasted brush to her hand. “Brush.”
“Grrrr,” she grumbled around her vibrating toothbrush. I unbuckled her sandals and slid her shorts down. She stepped out of them and spit.
“Keep brushing. I’m going to get your pajamas.”
“No, Grandma Sarah gave me a shirt. I want to wear that.”
“Okay, where is it?”
“In my backpack, but it’s clean. I promise.”
I laughed and went to fetch the backpack. I laughed again and held the long shirt up for Blake to see. It had two thumbs pointing back to where her chest would be and it read, ‘That’s why I’m a princess like a boss.’