“London!” Janie called when the last cub was born.
“London?” the vet questioned with a peculiar look.
“Yes, you know, The Tower of London, St Paul's Cathedral and the Globe Theatre. Notting Hill, the Cabinet War Rooms, Buckingham Palace.” Janie explained in awe of the newest and last cub. She was so passionate about it. It didn’t matter to her one bit that none of the cubs would keep her names, she didn’t care, she’d call them what she wanted.
“I’m going to keep that name; you just won a contest for naming the only female. It’s so powerful, just hearing the name sounds powerful, don’t you think?”
Janie couldn’t have asked for a better birthday. We ate zoo food with the workers, watched Zelda cuddle all four of her cubs, and then waited at the office for a parent to come and pick us up. Unfortunately for me, my dad was the only one available. Needless to say, I lost my phone and got grounded for another week.
Five
“Oh my God Blake, you idiot, I thought it was Farah who named Pea, London. Why didn’t you tell me that story before?”
“Farah did name her London, she knew the story, she named her that.”
“But it was for Janie, wasn’t it?”
“I guess so.”
“Now I am going to have to start calling her London again, it means something.”
“No you don’t. Janie would love the nickname Pea, and she would love the meaning behind it more than some dumb lion cub. They can call her London when she goes to school. I like Pea for now.”
“I want you to tell her that story; she would love to hear that.”
“Maybe I will. I wonder if we can find a lion around here to go with it,” Blake questioned, looking around the street fair. I would make sure we found one before we went home. That was a brilliant idea. Pea would love it.
Blake and I stood with the rest of the crowd when we heard the marching band. I leaned into his chest and he wrapped me in his arms. I could not wait to see Pea’s face. She’d better throw me candy. All of the floats were decorated in daisies, even the patrons dressed in some sort of flower costumes. I knew Pea would be wearing a pink and white daisy hat, she told me. She also told me it was a secret and she wasn’t supposed to tell me. She was just getting ready tell me about the sign she was going to hold when Grace dragged her away to help with the sprinkler in the backyard.
The floats were so much fun, clearly a lot of hard work and preparation went into the designing. “Where is Pea? Geesh. Are they clear in the back?” I whined, wanting to see her float. She was so excited about it.
“She’ll be coming. I’ll be right back, don’t move from this spot,” Blake said, planting a kiss on the back of my neck.
I held his arms to keep him from walking away. “Where are you going?”
“I have to pee,” he whispered in my ear, “don’t move.”
“Want me to come?”
“No, stay here in case she comes.”
I didn’t argue. I didn’t want to miss one second of Pea’s face.
I knew it was her before I could see for sure that it was; I looked around with a frown afraid Blake was going to miss it all. He should have waited.
The closer the float got, the more excited I became. Their float was out of this world, hands down the best one in the parade. Blue gerbera daisies made out of mylar balloons hovered above the flower covered float. My ridiculous smile broadened and then curled in the wrong direction when the floral contraption neared me. What were the Holden’s doing in Nashville? Why were they riding in the parade? He didn’t even have a hotel in Nashville.
I waved to Pea when her little arm frantically waved. I didn’t even notice that I was being shoved forward; I thought it was just the crowd moving for a better glance. Watching Pea hold up her daisy sign was when I noticed I was almost on the road and no one was behind me, they’d all stepped back. What the hell was going on? My eyes shifted back to Pea’s sign and I frowned even more.
This was crazy.
I read Pea’s sign loud and clear.
‘Will you be my mommy?’
I read the next flower held by Barry.
‘Can I be your dad?’
And then the last daisy sign held by both Grace and Sarah.
‘Can we be your mom’s?’
Where the hell was Blake?
My hand went to my mouth when the float passed slowly by and Blake magically appeared on the other side. He knelt down on one knee, he held a single daisy and a small box.
“Come here,” he said with a crazy smile. I frantically shook my head. No way. Oh my God. How? When? Crap.
His finger motioned for me to come to him, a shove from behind, and a pull so forceful even I couldn’t stop it, caused my feet to move. I’m going to blame that one on my mom.
“Blake? What are you doing?”
“I love you, Makayla. When I lost Janie, I took a vow to never love that hard again. I avoided my own daughter to keep from it. You taught me to love like that again, Makayla. You opened my heart to a life I wouldn’t let myself think about. I owe you so much and you don’t even know it. There isn’t another finger on this earth that I want to place this ring on. Will you marry me?”
I don’t know if I was swallowing tears or where the hell all the saliva was coming from, but my mouth was producing it in copious amounts. I swallowed again and noticed my trembling fingers. Why was my hand extended? I didn’t say yes, I didn’t give him my hand, did I? I heard my shaky voice say yes, convinced that I hadn’t just said that too. The next thing I knew Blake’s lips were on mine, my arms were around his neck, the crowd was cheering, and Pea was hugging my leg. What the hell just happened here? I said yes. Shit. I said yes. Everything was so surreal. Like it was happening, but not really. The Holden’s? Wow.
“I need to sit down,” I confessed when Blake squeezed me so tight my eyeballs bugled.
“Come on, we have dinner plans,” Blake said, scooping Pea into his arms. The crowd clapped and cheered again when Blake led us away. I followed because he was pulling my hand and I was too distracted to protest. My eyes went to the diamond on my left hand and I swallowed the pool of water again. What? I said yes? Seriously?
That wasn’t my only surprise of the day. They just kept coming. We didn’t have the dinner reservation I was thinking we were having. No. That would have been too easy.
Blake led us away from the trumpets and the drums, away from the crowd and through a couple alleyways. I didn’t say a word, I just followed, being led to who knew where. I think we walked a mile before Pea finally whined.
“I changed my mind, I want to ride with my grandma’s,” she said, being dragged by the hand too.
Blake lifted her to his shoulders again and kissed my lips. He was still wearing the same ridiculous smile, “I love you.” I only snorted with somewhat of a returned grin. I was still in shock. “We’re almost there, Pea,” he assured her. Almost where, I had no idea. I couldn’t ask; I wasn’t sure I would ever speak again. Thoughts swam in and out of my mind, but not one of them matured into words.
I knew without an explanation that the building with the old ticket booth was the new theater. Blake was planning on staying in Nashville. I knew without knowing this was his next adventure. What I didn’t know is what Barry had to do with it. The three of them were already inside the abandoned structure when we entered. It smelled like a wet dog and musty basement, tenfold.
“Are all of you conniving liars?” I asked when Sarah embraced me in a warm hug. She had tears in her eyes which made me have tears. Yes, I was one of those people who cried because you cried, I couldn’t help it. Grace hugged me next and of course she had to be crying too. I almost felt bad when I saw the happy yet sad expression on Barry’s face. I wasn’t hugging him, I couldn’t. The next one came right next door. The hotel next door had new owners and so did the office building beside of that. Not only was Zazen Resorts coming to Nashville, it was the only one left. Barry sold out. He was in the process of s
elling his successful chain of hotels to be near Pea. They were all conniving liars.
One would think that was enough for a one day, but no. It kept coming. Our dinner plans consisted of barbequing on the back patio. The wow factor was when Sarah explained that they wanted to be near Pea, they didn’t want to spend the rest of their lives being successful, they wanted to blow bubbles and ride ponies. Who would have thought? Their new house was lovely, situated on a corner lot in a new allotment. Pea would love the pool.
My mind was in a fog for most of the night. I mean, I was in heaven, loving life. This could have been it. This could have been my family. They all loved me. The food was delicious, and red wine slithered down my throat easily. By the third one I was feeling it, but at least it had calmed my nerves.
I stood at the door looking out after a trip to the ladies room. Holden was helping Pea make a pretend fishing pole out of a stick and dental floss. They had to get all the piranhas out of the pool. Grace and Sarah were talking about a spring wedding and Blake was staring right at me. Our eyes locked through the clear glass and I breathed in a subtle, long breath of air. I loved him so much. Why did it have to go this way? Why couldn’t I have my happy ever after? I wanted the happy ever after too; I wanted Blake and Pea to have it. They deserved it.
I smiled when I read his lips. ‘Come to me.’ The door slid open and I walked right into his welcoming arms.
“We’re going to go. We’ll see you guys when you get home,” Blake announced just before six in the evening. I was ready to go. What a day. I needed an ink-pen and some quiet time to process it all. The only problem with that was—
“Now what? What is this? Where are we?” I found myself asking seven minutes later. I knew it was seven minutes exactly because I looked; the clock said six zero four, now it was six eleven. What the hell was he doing now? My mind thought about the mindless numbers on the clock while I waited for Blake to open my door.
“I had nothing to do with the theater or the hotel that was all the Holden’s; I don’t have a penny in any of it. Them buying a house here was my mom and Sarah, I had nothing to do with that either. This, however is all me. Well, I hope so anyway. I didn’t sign anything yet, but I want to. I wanted your opinion first.”
“On what?”
“Do you like the house?”
“Is this for us?”
“Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a house for sale on Begonia Drive?”
My eyebrows took a sharp turn to the center of my nose, “What?”
“Come here, look,” Blake boasted, pulling me from the car. I looked to the green sign at the end of the drive.
“I don’t understand,” I confessed reading the sign with the same street name as my old house. The one I lived in before my mother got sick.
“Your eyes light up when you talk about Begonia Drive. I want your eyes to light up every time you come home.”
I laughed and wrapped my arms around his neck. It was the thought that counted. “You put that sign in the driveway,” I accused.
“Yeah, I know. That’s because I really, really, really like this house.”
“Let’s go see it,” I said, feeling the dream. There was nothing I wanted more in the world than to live this life with Blake and Pea.
I loved the house. I mean LOVED it! I couldn’t have picked a better one if my life depended on it. It was perfect. I loved the openness of it, the high ceilings, the second floor with our own little balcony, the pink and white room for Pea, and the pool with the matching hot tub out back. This was every girls dream. This is the dream I never had growing up. I never thought about this day, or my wedding. I thought about my mom getting better.
“Blake,” I quietly said, walking into his arms.
We kissed, standing in our magnificent kitchen. “What?” he whispered to my lips and then kissed me again.
“I am on my period and you proposed to me. You’re the stupidest boy on the planet.”
Blake’s forehead dropped to mine and he groaned, “I never thought about planning around that.”
“I can’t believe this day. We’ve been here for two weeks, how did you do all of this?”
“I told you, I only did this,” he said, looking around the house. I loved the house. I loved it so much. “And this,” he added, taking me hand, “I love seeing this on your finger.”
“I love it there too,” I admitted. I couldn’t help it. I knew I was leading him on and I knew this was going to hurt like hell when it all came crashing down. The best thing I could do was go along with it; at least until I knew everyone was in their correct positions. It was all coming together and I didn’t have a thing to do with it. Everything fell into place, including me. A few more months wasn’t going to hurt. Maybe I would wait until after Christmas. I wasn’t about to miss that. At least one more time anyway. I just had to do it before we got too deep into wedding plans.
“Wanna go to Toys‘R’Us?”
“What?” I giggled in his mouth.
“We didn’t get a lion.”
“Yes. Let’s go find the biggest lion we can find.”
That’s what we did. We bought a life sized lion and four cubs. Pea was going to freak. With a cart full of lions, Blake and I drifted through the store, flirting and full of life. I would have never kissed him in public like this. I didn’t care if the entire world saw us kissing. Not even when we really kissed by the bike rack. It took a giggle from a couple of passing girls to pry our lips apart.
“Guess what I picked up back there with the animals?” I asked, teasing his lips with my tongue. In a sultry tone he replied with a moan and a kiss. “This.”
I literally had to sit on the floor to keep from peeing my pants. I never heard that shrill, girly voice from him before. Oh my God. This was better than scaring Pea behind doors. Blake was terrified of snakes, even rubber ones, that may have been the best day of my life. Well, besides the period thing.
“I missed you today,” I said, dropping the seat on the toilet and joining Pea.
“I forgot to throw you candy.”
I smiled and picked up the cup to rinse her hair. Listening to Pea’s childlike banter was the icing on the cake. She talked about her grandparents, the pool, the theater, the parade, on and on, she told me about her day and I listened, hanging on to every silly little word.
“Come on,” I coaxed when she shivered. I wrapped her body in a warm towel and hugged her tight. “I’m glad you had a good day. I love you soooooo much,” I said, squeezing harder.
“I lost my balloon way up in the sky,” she said, topping off her story.
I scrubbed her body dry with the towel. “Your daddy bought you something better than a balloon today.”
“Where?”
“Go ask your dad. Here, lift your leg,” I persuaded. She wobbled and held the sink while I slid panties over her butt.
“What is it?”
“You’ll have to go find daddy and see,” I countered, sliding her nightgown over her head. I called after her to brush her teeth, but she was gone, tangled hair and all. I cleaned up the bathroom and started water for myself. I needed a long hot bath. Maybe some of this crazy day would soak in.
I turned it off when Sarah dragged me to the end of the hall. Blake and Pea were laying on the living-room floor with the five animals. Pea was holding two of the babies while her body leaned against the mama. She moved to his lap when Blake told her the names.
“Why didn’t my mommy name this one?” she asked, holding up the only one with no name.
“She did, baby, but I can’t for the life of me remember what it was. I only remember, Zelda, Kensington, Winston, and London. I can’t remember that one. Maybe you could name it.”
“No, we better find out, maybe the zoo can tell us.”
“Hmm, I doubt it, but you could try Grandma Sarah. Maybe your mommy told her about it.”
“Call her.”
“Now? It’s almost nine o’clock, she might be in bed.”
> “Please, daddy.”
And there it was; the magic words. Grace and I exchanged a smile when he moved her a little bit and retrieved his phone.
“Grandma, my dad bought me a mommy lion and four babies from the zoo. I can’t find the last one’s name.”
I covered my mouth to keep from laughing. Sarah wasn’t going to have a clue what she was trying to say with that description.
“No, no. My mom already did name them. My dad can’t remember the other name.” Pea nodded her head and let out a meek uh-huh.
“Why did you hang up?” Blake questioned.
“It’s Fashion.”
“Oh my God it was. Your mom named it Fashion because of London’s fashion week. That was part of the idle chatter while we were waiting for the babies to come. Your mom made me promise I would take her there for it someday.”
“Did you?” Pea questioned, holding Fashion the baby cub.
“No, I didn’t get the chance. She was too sick.”
“Mikki’s mom was sick like my mom too,” Pea said in a yawn.
“Yes she was. Come on. I guess you probably want to sleep with all of these lions, huh?”
“Yes, all of them. They need to hear a story.”
“Grandma Sarah brought you a new book. Did you read it yet?”
I ducked off to the bathroom and Grace ran to her room. My heart was so full. I was so in love with this life. I undressed in front of the mirror while vanilla aroma filled the air and bubbles filled the tub. Tying my hair up in a messy bun on top of my head, I slid the thick pink straps over my shoulder. I stood naked with my arms over my head, just like my mother had taught me to do. There was no lump staring back, but the indent reminded me that it was still there. The tips of my fingers circled every inch of my breasts, saving the poison for last. I sighed and dropped my hands when I circled it. It was still there. It wasn’t any bigger, but it wasn’t smaller either. Whatever. There was nothing I could do but let fate take the reins. I knew this disease like the back of my hand, and I already knew there was no controlling it. Doctors lied and they didn’t do everything that they could do. If they did she would still be there.