****
Days passed with more hand holding, shared smiles, a couple of kisses on the cheeks, sitting at lunch on occasion and sitting together at pep rallies, but nothing more. It felt right. As much as I hoped for more, I was finding myself falling hard for a girl whose intelligence and quiet humor abounded as much as her beauty.
I’d even begun driving her home. To my shock, today when I pulled in front of her house, she asked, “Want to come in?”
Nodding, I said, “Sure,” hoping my astonishment didn’t show through.
Following her up the walk, my nervousness calmed a little when I noticed her hand shaking as she turned the lock. We were both a little scared of what was going to come. Walking in the house, we moved into the living room where unceremoniously, she dropped her backpack. On her heels, I didn’t notice her pivot when we crashed into each other.
“Uh, you want something to drink?” she asked, wide eyed.
“Coke,” I replied feeling a blush fill my cheeks. Our little crash had put us closer together than before. I couldn’t deny the soft flesh that pressed into mine and my body tensed with how good it felt to have her close.
Moving around me, she said, “Okay.” She left me in the room to look around. The walls were white but the furniture was colorful. The yellow sofa screamed for me to sit, so I did. Pillows with flowers on them confirmed that only girls lived here. Mercy had shared with me her father had died before she was born. Today, I was planning to share with her the reason behind my fascination with baseball caps. I’d grown comfortable enough with her to share a piece of myself, I didn’t share very often. Reaching up I felt for it, my cap, to make sure it was there when she walked in the room.
In her hand, she held two cans of Coke. Hesitating, she didn’t seem sure what to do next. Finally, she moved and sat next to me. Handing me a Coke, I took it and set it on the table while she opened hers. The time felt right. I would make my move, I thought.
“When are baseball tryouts?” she asked.
“Next month,” I said a little too enthusiastically. At least officially, technically these early practices were warm ups for those needed to get in shape before the season began. We all knew everything was riding on this. That is why we all attended the voluntary practices. “Are you going out for softball or track?’
Hoping for softball so I could continue to see her at least briefly every day, I held my breath for her answer. “Softball probably,” she said.
“Cool,” I said, looking around the room. The small talk had thrown me. Now it would just seem weird if I kissed her out of the blue.
“My mom’s not going to be home for a while,” she said, garnering my attention again. My head had snapped back to face her to read her expression. She looked away, the heat in her face said she’d heard the invitation in her words. Did she want this as much as I did? She’d asked me in and now this comment. It had to be the green light to go for first base.
Shifting to sit straight from my previous hunched position, I decided to just go for it. The worst that could happen would be she could slap me for being too forward. But I didn’t think so. I really thought she wanted this as much as I did. Further, I hoped she wouldn’t judge me harshly if this kiss turned out to be awkward.
Turning my head and leaning over a tad to call her name, she turned and our mouths lined up like it was fate. Her lips were just as soft and warm as I imagined. I felt like I was being pulled closer yet I couldn’t get close enough. My body warmed and chilled as it felt like she was tugging at my heart and at my soul. This kiss was more than I imagined. My heart raced like I was running and I wanted to get my hands on her to pull her closer still. My head wandered at unbidden thoughts of what it would be like to take this even further. Visions of taking off her shirt and looking at what had to be the most perfect pair of breast god created, nearly had me groaning in her mouth.
I wanted to fight those feelings. Mercy wasn’t just a piece of ass, but her ass. My hands, god I wanted to have my hands on her ass. I felt as if I wasn’t breathing through this kiss. I felt dizzy and lightheaded. I need to speak, to pull away, but I couldn’t. It was like some unseen force kept us pressed together.
Dimly, I felt Mercy pull away. My thoughts were clouded. I couldn’t speak when she called out to me.
I think she even said to someone, “Should I call 911,” before darkness claimed me.
As awkward as it was, I found Mercy the next day at school. Her eyes were puffy and red.
“It’s okay,” I said holding her in my arms.
“No, it’s not,” she sniffed at my chest.
Stroking her hair, I didn’t know if I was consoling her or me. “I still want to be your friend.”
Pulling back, she looked at me with tears streaming down her face. I wanted more but it wasn’t possible between the two of us ever. With my thumbs I was wiping her tears away when Maggie chose to walk up to us. “Eme, what the hell,” she said, glaring at me.
Voice cracking, she said, “We broke up.” Looking at me, it was a silent understanding that this would remain between us.
“You asshole,” Maggie spat.
“No, Mags,” Mercy said. “It’s not his fault. We just thought it would be better if we were just friends.” The sad smile she gave Maggie tore through me. This wasn’t fair. She and I wanted to be together. But her mom had been very clear on the matter.
“It doesn’t look like you are okay,” Maggie said, the death rays were only a precursor to the main event of tongue lashing I was yet to suffer through. But Mercy wasn’t having any of it.
“Really Mags, it’s fine,” she said taking one step back.
Before she could totally retreat, I kissed her forehead. Then, I whispered, “Are you going to be okay?” She nodded and I added, “I’ll see you at lunch.” She nodded again. But I didn’t see her at lunch.
Walking around the corner to class, Bellman and his friends were standing around their locker. “So you bagged her and dumped her. Bowman, you’re my hero,” melon asshole said.
Snapping, anger coursed through me. I tunneled into the guy with fists flying. When he went down, I gave a final upper cut that had bone cracking. Then I was pulled back by two guys. “Don’t ever talk about her like that,” I spat.
Bellman stood with the help of his friend spitting blood. “What the fuck Bowman. She’s just a dumb bitch.”
“Mercy’s no bitch and if I ever hear you speak about her, I’ll finish what I started today,” I promised.
It was then I was let loose. Flynn stepped from my side and got in Bellman’s face. “Don’t speak her name,” Flynn said with his hand wrapped around the guy’s throat.
Then Luke stepped over adding, “Don’t even think her name.”
Hands raised, Bellman knew his limits. “Whatever, I don’t even know who you are talking about.”
“That’s a good boy,” Flynn said, using the hand that just held the guy’s neck to pat him on the head.
Flynn tugged me away. “I’ve got your back. No one will talk about your girl like that again.”
“She’s not my girl,” I said, the rage gone in its place was a hole I didn’t think I’d ever fill.
“What,” Luke said catching up to us.
“We’re not together anymore,” I said, going along with Mercy’s excuse. “We broke up.”
Flynn stopped and I thought it was because of what I said. And maybe part of it was. The other was the principal and two teachers marching in our direction. My bloody hand was a dead giveaway. I was so fucked.