She pressed herself against me, her body heat intoxicating and adding more flames to the fire inside. “Because you never understood what sort of gift you gave me with every origami you folded, every kiss you gave, every safety you wrapped me in. I can only buy you something tangible, but you gave me so many things that can’t be seen or touched. You gave me my freedom, Elder Prest, and that is worth so much more than what money can buy.”
I turned weak. My knees shook for everything she was. “But don’t you see? You’ve repaid me ten times, no, a thousand times over. I’m already well in your debt, little mouse.”
Slotting herself into me, she kissed my chest. “I’ll never be able to repay you, and there are no debts between us. Please, just accept the cellos, accept me, accept my gratitude. Let me say thank you...for everything.”
EPILOGUE
Epilogue
______________________________
Elder
* * FOUR MONTHS LATER * *
HOURS OF HEAVEN.
Days of happiness.
Months of paradise.
Four months of sailing wherever we pleased, exploring whatever we fancied, and enjoying everything I could ever want while fearing it would be all taken away. I had everything. I was so fucking happy, but something niggled my mind, slowly growing more and more persistent.
I’d never been one for trusting in good things. It didn’t matter I’d paid my final sum for the lottery ticket I’d stolen or that Oliver Gold had received the exact amount he’d won. It didn’t matter I’d signed over fifty percent of my company to Selix and he’d grudgingly accepted what he deserved. And it didn’t matter I woke every morning to Pim and Spot, safe and happy beside me.
I was too used to everything being ruined whenever I let down my guard.
Yet, it never happened.
My habits were kept at bay with the occasional joint and Pim kept me centred with her affection. Ever since she’d given me the two cellos, my OCD had once again become manageable.
Some days, I played the black cello, pouring the last of my grief into my music. Its strings lived for death metal, dark punk, or a brutal blend of the two. Some days, I played the white cello, strumming with newfound happiness and love, creating classical and pop and pieces my father would’ve been proud of. And some days, Pim sat between my legs and I taught her anything she wanted to know, slowly taking back, note by note, the past that was stolen from her.
A couple of weeks ago, after chasing the summer, we’d sailed into the Fijian archipelago. Surrounded by beautiful islands, I spent my mornings working, afternoons swimming with Pim, and evenings in tropical hotels.
Pim had taken to caring after little Spot as if he was more than just a dog but a child. I couldn’t deny I’d done the same thing, both of us doting on the little critter.
I’d never had a pet growing up, but Pim taught me to let go and live voraciously through the eyes of a canine. Simplistic joy and wholehearted connection in everything he did from napping to playing to hanging out with us while we watched a movie in bed.
Pim laughed louder, smiled wider, and had so much life compared to a year ago when I’d carried her bleeding and unconscious from that bastard’s house.
I had to admit, having another little soul on board—a soul that was so grateful for every scratch and ball throw, a soul that thrived under our nurturing love—helped my untrusting heart believe that maybe, just maybe, I finally deserved to find happiness.
My fear at losing Pim might never go away, but I slowly stopped searching the skies for chasing ships or new enemies.
The niggle in the back of my mind would hopefully quieten in time and the greed for more perfection, more happiness, more everything would hopefully be satisfied with all that we already had.
That was what I hoped.
However, that was before the niggle turned into a craving.
It happened suddenly.
It happened sharply.
Turning a simple sunset while overlooking an uninhabited island in Fiji into something life changing.
I looked up from amending a blueprint while Pim read beside me. She absentmindedly threw Spot’s favourite ball for him to fetch, and an overwhelming punch of emotion crippled me.
It sank in claws and made me beg for this.
All of this.
Pim and me and Spot and freedom.
Forever.
I couldn’t breathe.
I couldn’t move.
I couldn’t imagine another day of my life without this woman beside me.
All I could do was suffocate at how perfect she was—how perfect she made me.
I’d earned something I never thought possible but in some horrible, awful twist, it wasn’t enough.
With setting sun tangling in Pim’s chocolate hair, I couldn’t ignore the pain of never being able to bring a son or daughter into this world. I couldn’t stop picturing more. Of a precious child who would never know the meaning of hate.
What good was my wealth if I couldn’t use it to make others happy? I’d already given a few million to each of my family members. I’d already paid my debts and ensured Selix would be set for life. I’d called my lawyer and updated my will to ensure Pim had my fortune if I passed far too early. I’d taken care of everything I could think of, yet something sitting there in that idyllic simple moment...something fundamental was missing.
Something I couldn’t buy or steal.
Something I couldn’t bribe or manufacture.
Something that could only be saved...as I’d saved Pim and she’d saved Spot.
I supposed it was karma’s way of completing a full three sixty—the circle of life and all that bullshit.
Adoption.
Pim hadn’t uttered the word since we’d left France, but I’d read the email from Tess a couple of times, wanting to bring up the subject but never knowing how.
At the time, I only wanted to know if Pim was okay with her body’s limitations. I didn’t care if she’d never need more than a dog to fill that need to tend and care.
But now, as I stared at the woman I loved more than anything, fuck, it hurt.
It hurt to think we had so much to give and no one to give to.
It killed me to think there were others out there that needed saving, just like her.
I was suddenly hungry, greedy, downright starving for the chance to do something beyond myself. Yes, it was selfish too, but my reasons were born from the desire to rescue those who’d been forgotten.
I couldn’t shake the idea no matter how preposterous it was.
But is it preposterous?
Mercer had mentioned they were ambassadors and benefactors for multiple charities. They were in the business of saving lives. I hadn’t saved Pim out of the goodness of my heart. I’d saved her because something about her affected me right down to my core. I’d recognised her for being a part of me even as a stranger. I’d felt the shift inside knowing I’d met my other half—even before I understood.
I was selfish because I’d only saved Pim. I hadn’t had a drive to save another as I no longer had any room in my heart to love someone as much as I loved her.
But now...now my heart had swollen, grown, morphed into an empty cavern ready to love again.
Ready to love a child.
The fact that Pim hadn’t spoken to me about the possibility made me think she wasn’t ready. That she still held onto the hope she would one day be able to conceive.
And I hoped that, too.
I would keep hoping that one day she’d become pregnant with our baby. But I wouldn’t pin my happiness on something that might never happen.
There were other ways.
Just as happy ways.
My heart grew impossibly bigger, larger, wiser sitting in this perfect domestic moment.
We had everything we could ever need.
Therefore, we could offer someone who needed saving everything they could ever need.
Three questions popped into my head.<
br />
Three loud, obnoxious, unable-to-be-denied-any-longer questions that needed answers immediately.
Shit.
My hands shook with urgency. My body jumpy with need.
I hadn’t had an over focus episode since needing to clean Mercer’s place after the Chinmoku, but in that moment, all I could focus on was those three questions.
Bang.
Bang.
Bang.
Answers needed.
Now.
Rolling up the blueprint, I weighed it down with an empty beer glass and stood. Standing over Pim, casting her in my shadow, I held out my hand for her to take. “Come to bed with me.”
Her eyebrow rose as she threw Spot’s rubber chicken that we’d picked up in some local market in Viti Levu and placed her hand in mine. “I love it when you get bossy.”
I smirked, pulling her upright. “You’ll love me even more with the mood I’m in then.”
“Mood? What mood?” Her gaze danced over my face as I strode toward our suite. “Everything okay?”
My hand shook harder, thinking how I was about to ask what I needed and what sort of answers I would receive. I knew Pim better than I knew myself most days. I knew she loved her coffee not too hot, she loved the smell of coconuts but didn’t like the milk, she was a morning lark rather than a night owl, and she watched me while I slept because her eyes touched me just as potently as the rest of her.
But I didn’t fucking know the answers to my questions.
I have to know.
“Everything’s fine. I just...have a few things to ask you.”
She paused as we crossed the threshold. “What things?”
I yanked her inside. “Things you’re about to find out.”
Epilogue
______________________________
Pimlico
BEING IN BED with Elder Prest was like going to war.
He was my saviour and enemy all in one. My comrade and opponent with his wicked tongue, talented fingers, and dirty mouth.
I hadn’t stopped thinking about that time at Tess and Q’s where he’d drifted away from a complex cocktail of pain and pleasure.
Tess had called it subspace, and I wanted to try it. I was ready to experiment and embrace anything to do with playing together.
But tonight wasn’t about fun or light-hearted connection. A heaviness existed in his every touch—a fatefulness that made my skin prickle and tummy clench.
He was delicious every moment I spent with him, but when he was this intense? He was mesmerising.
As he stripped me bare and laid me down, I didn’t know if this would be all-out war with three merciless battles or more of a hostile takeover with three well-placed attacks.
I wasn’t prepared as he climbed on top of me and filled me completely with a determination that sent my heart racing. The glint in his gaze and seriousness on his brow worried me. His ruthless thrusts and vicious kisses concerned me.
But even worried and concerned, I couldn’t stop my body from reacting to his touch—inside, outside, his kisses and penetration.
My only choice was to dig my nails into his shoulders as he brought me with him, up and up, building my body for a toe-curling orgasm.
We chased each other onto the battlefield, neither of us soft and both of us violent, feeding into one another a certain kind of anger that I didn’t understand. A thread of fear I couldn’t unravel and a whisper of uncertainty that made my legs quake and voice vanish.
We clashed on that battlefield, riding each other, driving each other, and when we came, we did it together with a tattered groan from him and a breathless moan from me, rippling and clenching for long, blistering moments.
Only once we remembered how to breathe and blink did he push onto his elbows, cup my cheeks with strong fingers, and ask his first question: “Do you like living on the sea in the Phantom or would you like to live on land in the house on the hill in Monte Carlo?”
I hadn’t expected such a thing.
I had no reply.
I loved living on the Phantom, but I also wouldn’t be adverse to spending time in the house on the hill. I still remembered how homely it made me feel. How calm and curious I’d been to step inside. The memories were somewhat tainted thanks to his mother, but I could visualise us living there far too easily.
I squirmed beneath him as he quickly hardened once again inside me, his body preparing for another round thanks to certain chemicals in his brain. “Answer me, Pimlico. It’s important that you answer me.”
He didn’t need to explain why it was important. His OCD appeared in the most unlikely of places, and sometimes vanished altogether. After his cleaning malfunction at the Mercer’s, he couldn’t care less about a little clutter or mess caused by Spot. Some nights, he would play his cello for a few minutes, and others, he’d play for hours. And some nights, he would hold me close and never need a smoke from the marijuana he kept in his bedside drawer while others he’d stand outside smoking for hours.
He truly was an anomaly and totally unpredictable.
Running my fingers through the sweaty hair at his temples, I answered as honestly as I could. “I could live in both. What’s to say we can’t spend a few months on the Phantom and a few months there? Do I truly have to decide?”
He smiled, kissing me. “That’s good enough. I’m of the same opinion.”
Then, as if the conversation hadn’t existed, he thrust up, catching me unaware, making me clench around him.
He didn’t speak anymore—his body did that for him.
He flipped me onto my stomach and climbed inside again, driving me into the mattress with every stroke. His teeth latched onto the back of my neck as his hips arched harder, faster.
I bowed beneath him, my clit pressed against the sheets, finding delicious friction to heat and spindle a second time.
It wasn’t often I came with him for his second release—my body wasn’t nearly as potent as his. But this time, driven upward by his intensity and burning up with questions of my own, I cried out as he bit me harder and spilled inside me.
My pussy clutched his cock, over and over, turning me boneless as well as sweat-misted.
As if he didn’t want to drag out each question, his lips landed on my ear, his chest sticking to my back as I lay on my belly pinned beneath him.
“My second question demands a direct answer, Pim.”
“Okay,” I breathed as he put more weight on me. The heaviness of his body seemed to add heaviness to his question, electrifying the air with anticipation.
Running the tip of his tongue around my lobe, he murmured, “Will you marry me?”
My eyes snapped open. All languidness gone.
I was awake and vibrating and more alive than I’d ever been.
“What?” If I wasn’t pinned beneath him, I would’ve jolted and spun to face him. I needed to see his features, to dive into his eyes, to see if this was truly, truly real. But all I could do was tremble as tears shot to my eyes. “What did you just say?”
“I said...” He kissed the back of my neck, nuzzling. “Will you marry me?”
“Are-are you serious?”
His teeth latched into my skin, biting sharp in warning. “Deadly. And I need an answer immediately. Don’t make me ask again.”
The commitment in his voice. The utmost pledge in his tone.
It’s real.
I wouldn’t deny I’d been living in a dream and enjoying all my fantasies in one incredible adventure for months. That was more than enough, but some evenings, when lip locked in bed or skinny-dipping in the sea, I did wonder if he’d ever ask me.
If he’d ever feel the need to bind us together officially even though it’d happened organically without the need for a piece of paper or name change.
I’d already sewed my life to his in every way I could. My soul was his whether he wanted it or not. I didn’t need this question but it was also the only thing I’d ever wanted.
I melted into the mattress
as his hips thrust once, his cock waking up, hardening under his body’s need for a perfect trio of releases.
“Will you marry me?” he asked again, his body swelling with every heartbeat. “Answer me. I need you to answer me.”
“Yes,” I whispered into the pillow, shock and amazement sending lightning bolts inside me.
“I didn’t hear you.” He thrust again, his fingers digging into the same pillow I’d whispered into.
Turning my head, I looked at him over my shoulder. I fell in love with the black fire in his eyes—the need for me to become his and the overwhelming lust and affection he always carried.
If I married Elder Prest, I would never want for anything. I would never be unwanted. I would never be hurt. It was him I wanted—not his money, his assets, his business.
Just him.
“Yes. Yes, I’ll marry you.”
He swooped down and captured my mouth, kissing me deep and arching my neck to accept his lashing tongue. “Thank fuck for that.” His hips worked faster, digging into me in all the right ways. “Now I can finish this and ask my final question.”
I had no control over what he wanted. After his proposal, I existed in the highest of heavens, and I had no way to float back down.
I let him ride me, consumed with the prickly heat rapidly building in my core.
Rolling onto his back, Elder brought me with him until I lay on his front. His large hands clasped my hips, keeping us joined while my breasts jiggled with every rock. We moved to the same beat, our breathing wild, our skin damp, and when that third orgasm found us, Elder wrapped his arms around me and squeezed so tight; pulling me into his chest, he hugged me as if he could never let me go.
When the shockwaves stopped battering us, he once again nuzzled my ear and asked his third question softly, gently, fearfully. “We’ve adopted an animal. What do you say about adopting a child?”
Epilogue
______________________________
Elder
PIM WENT DEATHLY still.