46. Flying Coach
“I don’t understand how these talking head pundits can go on and on about how we shouldn’t torture terrorists to find out what they know,” Brandon said as he stared at the 60 inch TV displaying CNN’s Sunday morning show. “What d’ya mean, what kind of inhuman monster are you?” Denny stared at his friend, shocked, dissapointed and horrified. “Look, I’ve flown coach before and if a citizen of the United States has to go through that than I think it’s perfectly fine that some terrorist gets water boarded.”
47. Utopia
Finally, after struggling his entire life he had found true happiness; flying above the clouds of the perfect civilization, Utopia. Massive buildings kissed the clouds, clean and beautiful, everyone was happy, healthy and content; everyone had a purpose and a place and the weather was perfect. He distantly heard the violent ringing of a bell and then he woke up; lifting his head off his desk as sweat dripped off him from the sweltering office, he answered the phone with a sigh, his perfect dream fading into the background already.
48. What Is Your Profession????!!!!!!
Sitting in my small office chair I plant my feet, lace up my shoes, and take a deep breath, stealing myself to get all my warriors through this day. Everyone outside the door is counting on me, I’m their leader and they are going to be looking to me to get them through this day. As a store manager for Bed, Bath and Beyond I knew 20% off sales were huge, and today promised to be no different.
49. Do Androids Dream of Robot Trucks?
Most men dreamt of fame, money, fortune, women, or perhaps sports glory or killing a hated enemy in mortal combat in front of thousands. His day dreams, spare time and even his real dreams were dominated by thoughts big truck beds, four wheel drive, towing capacities, chrome bumpers, horsepower, torque and the intricacies of finding the perfect exhaust note. Although…. if he really considered it, killing a hated enemy in mortal combat probably could be done with a truck.
50. The Agony and The Ecstasy
The ball floats through the air and the receivers catch it for touchdowns, running backs break tackles for huge games, eventually beating the beltway rival Ravens. But for every joyful emotion there are fumbles and dropped passes and worst of all, star quarterbacks whose knees take a beating. With all the ups and downs my emotions take wild swings, literally erasing years off my life as I feel certain I will only live to be 46 years old.
***Bonus Stories***
51. Wolf Dreams
I’ve been separated from my pack and I’m lost without them. Everything I am belongs to the pack, so I do the only thing I know that might bring them back to me. I plant my feet, lift my snout high into the air and howl, howl and howl and howl, desperate for my family to find me again; for I am truly lost.
52. The Cowardly Eagle
The other Eagles soared majestically, brave and strong, hunting to gather food for the flock. The cowardly eagle was a back stabbing asshole, petty and selfish, afraid to fly for any reason except for his own selfish desires; only taking food gathered for the flock and never adding to it. One night his brothers were out hunting and he purposefully unleashed a loud cry, revealing his brothers location to a predator and feasted on their dead bodies after the enemy had its fill.
53. Dreaming of Streaming Playoffs
I had been plagued by the Devil all year in fantasy football, but somehow I made it into the playoffs in one league. I scoured the internet for advice and learned a real gem, the Lions defense would be facing off against one of the worst teams in modern memory; I knew they could be mine. I checked the waiver wire and discovered somehow they were already owned, immediately I threw my laptop across the room, knowing my season was over.
54. Betting Your Life
Craig started the day saying he would only spend $20 at the casino slots, $20 and no more. As time went on he lost everything in his wallet, then emptied his checking account; five hours later he had lost the car payment money, then the mortgage money and his child’s college fund. By midnight he had been relegated to a $1 slot machine with the mobster he owed his life to standing over his shoulder.
55. Weep Blood
Pat had felt crushing fantasy football defeats all year, but he’d never felt anything like this. He’d just spent an entire Sunday not only watching his fantasy team lose, but watching each and every one of this players go down with an injury, players he truly cared about. He’d liked each of these players for years, that’s why he chose them; now his emotions overcame him and he cried so hard that when he looked in the mirror his face was covered in bloody tears.
56. Self Satisfied Sniff
“My new Prius XP gets 55 MPGs, that means I’m not hurting Mother Earth like the rest of you pigs,” Carter inhaled sharply through his nose at the end of his statement. On the other end of the phone Pat said, “Oh really?” and promptly slammed the clam-shelled phone shut as he gunned the engine on his lifted, oversized pick up and rammed it full speed into the brand new Prius. Rolling down the window Pat stared at the now horrified Carter and gave a version of his own self satisfied sharp inhale through the nose.
57. When the Revolution Comes Part 2
“All you mother fuckers are gonna pay,” he said as some jerk in a BMW cut him off. He thought about the appointment with the cable guy who never showed up, the dentist who canceled at the last minute, the many many girlfriends who had dumped him. They would all pay dearly when society finally crumbled.
58. I Need More Guns
“In other news, a man was arrested today for the cannibalistic murder that has some speculating about zombies, ” Pat heard the news reporter and opened his safe. Counting the weapons he knew they wouldn’t be enough when the moment came.
59. The Brave One
The endless pounding on the thick blast door was deafening. They’d been told if one of them was willing to sacrifice their life so the alien could feed then the rest would get to live. Wanting nothing more than the pounding to stop, John closed his eyes and stepped through the airlock.
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