“Come in.” she gestured
“Hi” he said stepping inside
“Where are you going with my sister today?” she asked quietly
“It is a surprise but you have my cell number in case you need us.” He whispered back “Now go tell her to bring a coat.”
“You are no fun whatsoever.” She grumbled
“I hear that a lot in my line of work.” He said as she walked away
“Hear what?” Rachel asked coming down the stairs
“She told me that I was no fun. And I said I hear that a lot.”
“Why did she say you were no fun?” she asked laughing
“Because she wanted to know where we were going and I wouldn’t tell her. But she can call if she really needs us.” He said loudly for Robin’s benefit.
“Where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise. Grab your coat and anything else you need and let’s go.” He said anxiously
Rachel called to Robin for help in finding her coat and then they left in his car. They had talked frequently over the week but no more face to face conversations. She was still thinking and praying about where they were headed but she was beginning to think she already knew. Rachel enjoyed his company far more than expected. He was kind, gentle, playful and easy to be around. He didn’t treat her as handicapped just someone who needed some extra assistance every now and then.
She had been daydreaming and not really paying attention to the distance they had traveled so was unsure how far they were from her home. Ethan pulled into a parking space and then went around to help her out of the car. “Trust me, I know what I’m doing. I promise.”
“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t trust you. Now where are we?”
“We are going to spend the day in mountains. We are going to ride the tramway to the top and then enjoy the snow.”
“We are at the tramway to the Sandia Mountains! I haven’t been here in years.”
“I’m glad. Are you ready?”
“Yes” she said tucking her hand in his arm “Thank you”
“For?”
“Bringing me here, I don’t have to see it to enjoy it and most people don’t understand that.”
“I understand that. My grandmother taught me that.”
“Then I’m grateful to her.”
“She would have loved you.”
“Really, why?”
“The short list is that you are a wonderful, kind, loving, helpful person.”
“Thank you.” She said shyly
“You are welcome. Sit here and I’m going to go get the tickets.” Ethan said helping her take her seat.
“You don’t get altitude sickness do you?” he asked as he returned with the tickets
“No. I loved coming here as a kid.”
“Good, let’s go unless you want to wander around down here first.”
“Let’s go on the tram.” She said excitedly as she stood up. He tucked her hand around him arm again and they went to board the tram. Ethan positioned them near the back of the car. He stood behind her and whispered in her ear the things he was seeing as they ascended the mountain. She was picturing the images in her head and smiling at his words. “You are very good at this.” She said after a few minutes. He wrapped his arms around her and leaned over her shoulder “I’m glad you think so. I’m having a great time.”
“MmmmHmmm”
After the car reached the top, Ethan waited until everyone else had left the car before he directed Rachel out. It was cold outside. He was glad they had prepared for cold windy weather. He looked at her to see if she was too cold and found her smiling gloriously. “It’s beautiful. I can feel the sunshine on my face.”
“And it makes you look even more beautiful.”
Rachel blushed and said a quiet thank you.
Ethan and Rachel walked and hiked some paths around the top of the mountain. He was still describing to her what he saw and she was appreciating the beauty even though she couldn’t see it. They were walking along quietly when Rachel decided it was time to discuss something. “Ethan?”
“Yeah” he answered
“We need to talk about something.”
“I know. We moved right past the friend stage, didn’t we?”
“Yes, we need to slow down a little here. Don’t we?”
“I don’t know the right answer. I like doing things with you, even arguing.”
“Well, I hate arguing.”
“But you do it so well.” He joked
“I know, unfortunately. I like doing things with you too, but are we doing what we should be doing? Are we taking the time to discover each stage of a relationship? Are we seeking answers from the Lord or just doing what we want?”
“I’m praying about what should happen many times during the day. Maybe something will come along as we progress, but I don’t feel like the Lord is closing this door yet. What about you?”
“I don’t think so either. But we need to be cautious. You have a reputation to think of and we have a witness to protect.”
“You wouldn’t hurt my reputation.”
“Not for anything in the world would I want to do that, but we have moral code to live by and we don’t want to harm your standing in the church or make it seem like you are doing something unseemly.”
“We haven’t done anything wrong.”
“I don’t think so either, but would the members agree with us? You have touched me and some people might think that is wrong.”
“I have to touch you. What am I supposed to do, lead you around with a rope so we don’t touch? Surely they would understand that.”
Rachel stopped walking which pulled him to a stop “I know that you have to touch me, Ethan. Look, don’t argue with me, listen to me. I don’t think the Lord is closing this door either but it still might happen and we need to watch for signs that the church is unhappy with you. And take the steps necessary to fix that if it should happen.”
“Why would they have a problem with you?”
“In case you hadn’t noticed why I need to hold onto your arm, I’m blind.”
“That isn’t an answer to my question, you goof.” He grumbled
“Okay, I’m presuming the same thing as before…assuming we progress to marriage, most people believe that the pastor’s wife has to be perfect and without flaw. She is held to a higher standard; she steps in to fill any open position and basically has to be superwoman. I can’t do all that.”
“First of all, you are selling yourself short. You can do anything and before you argue with me, I don’t want to discuss that right now. Secondly, people are wrong in the way they expect a pastor’s wife to be, and I would tell whoever mentioned it to me. No matter what my wife’s physical condition was, she can’t be anything other than what God has planned for her.”
“I’m not disagreeing with you but it could be an issue to some of the church members and we can’t just be blind to that fact.”
“I hear what you are saying; we need to be cautious and prepared.”
“Yes, I’m not going to announce to everyone tomorrow that we had an excursion today. Robin is the only one who knows and I’d like to keep it that way until we are sure of God’s plan and timing.”
“For the most part I agree, if you want to tell the rest of your family, I don’t mind.”
“I haven’t decided yet. I will not treat you any differently at church than I have the other weeks you have been here.”
“So you are going to call me Pastor Hayes?” He groused
“Maybe.” She joked “No, I probably couldn’t pull that off now. I actually need to apologize for that. That day I called you Pastor Hayes partially was because of respecting your position and partly because I was nervous. It was rude of me and I didn’t mean to be. Robin had already started in on me with her matchmaking and I let it get to me and reacted the wrong way. I’m sorry.”
“I accept your
apology.” He said squeezing her hand and then tucking it back in his arm and continued hiking. “Are you warm enough?”
“Yes, I’m fine. Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“What do you look like?”
“Oh man, I knew that would come up. Ask Robin.”
“Believe me, I will eventually but now I’m asking you.”
Ethan laughed at her comment but went on to describe himself in as few words as possible. “I’m six four, blue eyes, blond hair and I wear contacts.”
“That’s it, that’s all you are going to tell me?” she laughed when rushed through his description.
“Yes.” He hissed at her as she laughed at him. “I repeat, ask Robin.”
“I was going to, but I couldn’t take her gloating anymore.”
“I think we better get used to it, I doubt she is going to stop.” He laughed. Rachel agreed with him and they continued on their hike. When their legs got tired and cold, they headed back to the tram car and headed down the mountain. Ethan again stood behind her and whispered to her what he saw. As the reached his car, Rachel maneuvered to where she was facing him she thought. “Thank you for bringing me here, it was wonderful.” She as she hugged him.
“You are welcome. I had a great time.” He said returning her hug. Ethan helped her into the car and then joined her. He took her to a cozy, warm restaurant that wasn’t too busy so they had plenty of time to talk and get better acquainted.
As they arrived at Rachel’s house, Robin had a message that their mother had called and they were to go over to her house for lunch after church the next day and that Ethan probably had a message at his house with a lunch invitation also.
“Okay, sure. I’ll call her when I get home.” Ethan stated as he helped Rachel with her coat and all three moved to the living room. Ethan and Rachel finally filled Robin in on what they had done that day.
“Sounds like fun.” Robin agreed. Robin and Ethan continued their conversation as Rachel interjected every once in a while. Robin invited Ethan for dinner again but he had to work on his sermon and needed to be heading home. He told Rachel goodnight and Robin showed him to the door. They were still talking several minutes later as Rachel walked downstairs to her office.
Thursday night, Robin and Rachel had a meeting at church. After the meeting, Robin was leading Rachel to their car when she remembered that she needed to ask Ethan a question. “I’ll wait right here for you.” Rachel agreed and sat down on an outside bench. It was several minutes later when Rachel heard some other church members pass by and overheard their conversation.
“Did you see Robin and Ethan talking just now? It would be so wonderful if they got married. They could do so much good here.”
“They did look pretty cozy. But what about Rachel, doesn’t Robin take care of her?”
“She could move back home with her parents if they got married. She won’t ever get married, she couldn’t take care of a household or a husband. Someone thought they saw Ethan and Rachel together earlier this week, I’m glad they were mistaken. Can you imagine her as a preacher’s wife?”
“No, she can’t do anything. She wouldn’t be any help to him.”
Rachel sat stunned on the bench as the voices drifted off. She recognized their voices and knew who had these thoughts about her. She had had those thoughts too but to hear them voiced by someone else hurt beyond anything she could imagine.
Robin and Ethan had gotten along rather well this week. It had all started as he had dropped her off last Saturday. And then on Sunday, Robin and Ethan had joked and laughed as he drove them out to their parent’s house and all throughout the afternoon and again on the ride home. They hadn’t excluded her but they had had plenty to talk about. Ethan had called a couple of time this week but not as much as the week before and each time it had been Robin who answered the phone. They talked each time for several minutes before Robin handed the phone to Rachel.
Rachel sat quietly holding back the tears as she waited for Robin, she wanted to be alone but was dependent on Robin. Those ladies had been right that she couldn’t do anything for herself and would never be a help to Ethan. Dear Lord, I understand your message, you have closed the door on Ethan and I. Thank you for making it clear. Amen.
“I’m back.” Robin announced as she approached Rachel. “I’m sorry it took so long. Ethan was going to come say goodnight but he got a phone call. He said he’d see you tomorrow.”
“Sure” Rachel responded. Robin helped her to the car and then drove them home. Rachel excused herself and went to her room. She fell on to the bed and let the tears fall silently down her cheeks. She had been such a fool, she had messed up everything. She hadn’t let the Lord lead her, she had been selfish and done it her own way. Please forgive me Lord, I did my will and not yours. Help me to know you more and to be restored to fellowship with you. Not my will but yours. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Rachel got ready for bed and crawled beneath the covers. She needed to talk to Ethan but it was going to take a couple of days to work up to that. Tomorrow she would make some arrangements but it was time to move and let Robin have her freedom.
Friday morning, Rachel was working down in her office early. Robin ventured down to see her. “Hi”
“Hi” Rachel returned “What are you doing today?” she asked
“I have a class all day, but I’ll be back to get you for the movie and pie social.”
“I’m not going. What would be the point?” Rachel stated “Don’t worry about me, I have a lot of work to do here.”
“But you should go anyway, you planned it. And Ethan would want you to be there.”
“He’ll know that I won’t be there.”
“Okay, I disagree but I’ll see you when I get home.”
“Sure. Have a good day.”
“You too.” Robin said leaving Rachel’s office.
Rachel heard Robin’s car drive away and then called her mother. “Hi Mom, It’s Rachel.”
“Hello dear. How are you today?”
“I’m okay. Can I borrow Martha today?”
“Sure, let me ask her.” Pearl was gone from the phone for a moment and then came back to Rachel. “She said sure. When do you need her?”
“Most of the day and as soon as she can get here without rushing.”
“I’ll tell her. Is everything okay?”
“Yes. I just need her help. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Bye Rachel.”
Martha knocked on Rachel’s door and then let herself in. “Rachel? It’s Martha.”
“Hi. I’m in my room, can you come in here?” Rachel replied. Martha entered Rachel’s room and saw her sitting at the window.
“Hi Sweetie. What did you need my help with?”
“Before I tell you, I need you to promise me confidentiality.”
“From whom?”
“From everyone. And if you don’t think that is fair, I’ll understand.”
“What is going on?”
“I’ve been doing some thinking and I need to leave here and let Robin get on with her life without taking care of me all the time. Will you help me move into a hotel tomorrow and then help me find an apartment and a housekeeper/nurse?”
“I don’t understand; did you and Robin have a fight?”
“No. She isn’t aware of what I am planning and I’d like to keep it that way. I’ll stay here tonight but I want to be packed and tomorrow when she goes to Pastor Hayes house, I’ll move out.”
“I don’t like this Rachel. You need to think about this very carefully. And why are we keeping it a secret?”
“Because my family will try to talk me out of it and I want it to be irreversible by the time they find out. I understand if you don’t want to be involved. I’ll can call Aunt Lil and go stay with her for a while.”
“I’ll help you. What are we doing today?”
&nbs
p; “Packing up my room. I’ll leave my office until I find a permanent home.”
“How is Robin going to react to this?”
“I’m not sure, probably relief after she gets used to it.”
“I disagree.” Martha said sadly “I think she will hate it and be mad at me.”
“I don’t want to put you in that position. I’ll get help from someone else. One of my volunteers will help me.”
“Rachel, honey, tell me what is really wrong?”
“Robin has given up her life for me and I realized recently that is extremely unfair to her.”
“She won’t agree with you. Please think about this a little while longer.
“What if I am holding her back from having a personal life?”
“She has a life and you do not hold her back.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Please change your mind about doing this today.”
“Okay. But please keep this to yourself, I don’t want to hurt anyone. I want to do the best thing for everyone.”
“I won’t tell. Now, since I’m already here, do you need me to fix you some lunch?”
“No. I’ll take care of it. I appreciate you coming here for no reason.”
“It wasn’t for no reason. I got to see you, didn’t I? I’ll talk to you later at the social tonight.”
“No. I’m not going.”
“Okay. See you later.” Martha said hugging Rachel goodbye.
“Bye Martha. Thanks again.”
The crowd was quite large for the movie and pie social but Ethan hadn’t seen Rachel yet. He had tried to call her today but was only able to leave her a message. He expected her to arrive with Robin anytime. Ethan got up to speak to the crowd and welcome them to the movie night. “I wanted to thank Rachel Hale for planning this for me but she isn’t here yet. But I couldn’t have planned this without her help.” Ethan went onto introduce the movie and then queued the video and sat down in the back to watch the movie.
Robin came in late to the movie and ended up sitting next to Ethan. “Hi” he whispered as she sat down next to him. “Where’s Rachel?”
“She told me she wasn’t coming and that you wouldn’t expect her.”
“Why wouldn’t I expect her?” he asked quietly
“She acted like you would know not to expect her.”
“I’m going to go call her.” He whispered as he snuck out. Ethan was back a moment later. “She didn’t answer.”