Squeaks refuses to leave my side. I do not care enough to ask why he would rather travel with someone who by all means should be his enemy, then to remain with his own people. The thought, however, niggles in the recesses of my mind almost constantly in the following days.
By the fourth day of flight, I finally break my own resolve. “Why are you insisting on coming with me and not remaining with the other mice? I am certain you would be much safer back there than anywhere I will take you.”
Squeaks sighs forlornly, as though he has known I would ask this very question sooner or later. “I’m an exile.”
Even though he cannot see my face, I quirk a brow more than a little confused by his statement. “An exile?”
“Yeah. Not wanted. They threw me away like a rotten egg” Squeaks explains as if I, an owl, have no concept of what the word exile meant.
I bite my tongue against the retort that bubbles just behind my clenched beak. After letting a few moments pass for me to regain my composure, I clear my throat. “Why were you exiled?”
It is Squeaks’ turn to fall silent. It seems I have erred in broaching this topic. “I am sorry. You do not have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable Squeaks.”
“No no, it’s okay Mist, really. It’s just hard to find the words to explain.” Squeaks starts.
I chuckle a bit in spite of myself. “Perhaps you should start at the beginning?” I suggest, a smile playing on my beak.
“I was never somebody.” Squeaks begins. “I was called a rat because I’m not as refined as the other. It was the same everywhere I went. I had no friends, I didn’t know my family. I don’t know what happened to my family. My eyes were barely open when they vanished. Maybe they thought I was destined to be a loser and just ditched me. I don’t know.” He sighs sadly and I cannot help but feel sorry for the small being.
“You do not have to continue if it is too hard on you.” I offer, my voice barely a whisper and I ponder if he has even heard my words over the rush of the wind.
I hear him take a deep breath. “It’s okay. I can do this.” He assures me, but even I know this possibly the hardest thing Squeaks has ever done in his life. Probably harder even than being alone for as long as he has been.
“I met this girl. Oh she was beautiful Mist, her fur was like moonlight and soft as silk. Her name was Bantam.” His voice takes on an awed quality.
“Wait. The girl mouse was named small? Really?” I cannot help but interrupt. I mean I understand that everything is given a name. I had been named Brown Mist because I was the fastest owl in the owlery and I’m brown, so I literally look like a brown blur, or a mist when I zip by. I cannot fathom why anyone would promote the small stature of their child when naming them.
“Ya, her name was Bantam because she was the smallest, daintiest, prettiest mouse of any I’d ever seen! Anyway, the first time I saw her, I was done for. She was like poison. I had to be near her. I had to touch her!” I feel Squeaks shiver upon my back and cock my brow again.
“Go on.” I prompt when it seems he has apparently drifted off into his own thoughts.
“Anyway, we spent all our time together. It was love at first sniff. I was head over heels for her and her with me..Or so I thought. One day I woke up and she was just gone. She wasn’t in the nest or anywhere she’d normally go. She’d simply abandoned me like everyone else had. Rumors started spreading around and soon Bruno, he’s the leader of my nest, he came and said they’d found a pile of bones and some tufts of silver fur. They were sure it was Bantam. I felt my heart crumble into nothing. She was my everything and now she was gone and I’d never see her again. “Squeaks said. The sorrow in his voice causes my heart to skip a beat. We lost altitude for a moment.
My own voice wavers as I say “I am sorry Squeaks. That must have been rough on you.”
“That was just the beginning of my troubles. I had thought I’d heard all the bad there was to tell, but then Bruno said many had said they’d seen me lead Bantam out where they found the bones. They said because I was the last that saw her, that I had to be the one that killed her.” His voice breaks then. I hear it plain as day. It was as though his very soul wailed over the accusation.
My heart breaks for my tiny new friend. “But you did not kill her did you?” I ask knowingly.
“Goddess no! I’d never hurt her Mist! She was my everything. My very breath! How I’m still alive to tell this is beyond me. Bruno cast me from the nest after he accused me. He said I was a danger to everyone there. I wasn’t too torn up about it, they never liked me anyway. As I ran, I vowed I’d find a way to right this wrong. That I would find whoever killed her and ‘d make them pay.” Squeaks finishes. His voice holds an odd fire to it.
“And you will Squeaks. I promise I will help you any way I can once I find my wizard.” I swear to the mouse. The fact that he should be digesting in my stomach, a thought that has fled long ago. This little mouse was my friend. Aside from my wizard, Squeaks was the only friend I have ever had.
Squeaks let out a small gasp. “You mean it Mist? You’ll help me?”
The excitement that buzzes and weave through his words make me chuckle as I reply. “Of course I will help Squeaks. After all it is what friends do.”