Waiting out the 3 floors, I run for my own door, check the green house on my phone and throw the door open to punch in my code quickly. Resetting it, I look around at nothing special, and exhale again before texting Malcolm.
'I'm safe and sound, alarmed, and locked in.'
'Good. Have a good night.'
'I have leftover pizza???'
'I'm good, but thanks. See you Saturday.'
'Okay.' Holding my phone I keep waiting for a leprechaun, or a stubborn, or a wee lass comment. I'm waiting for something from Malcolm, but nothing happens. So I eventually give up.
*****
Sitting on my couch, I'm bored almost immediately. I don't have a TV, or even a coffee table, and I'm not in the mood for anything right now. I could read but I'm not in the mood, and I should eat but I'm not in the mood.
Reaching for my cell I decide to call my mum strangely.
"Hello?"
"Hi, mum."
"Saige? How goes the batt'le?" She asks as she always does.
"Good. When are you getting your countertops? This weekend?"
"Ah, noooo... The bloody arseholes measured the sink wrong so now I have ta wait a week or two. Was ye no comin' to visit this week'end?"
"Do you still want me to anyway?"
"No, dunna bother. The kitchens no finished and I hae to go to a dance at the Rite on Satur'day anyway."
"Oh, okay." Pausing, I'm both relieved I don't have to go and a little disappointed she doesn't want to see me just because. "I won't keep you then. Enjoy your dance."
"Hae ye giv'in that scoundrel another chance, then?"
"No. Never."
"Well, tha's good. He dunna deserve it, and you'll no trust him again anyway."
"I know..." I exhale slowly. "Remember I told you about my Scottish friend?"
"Are ye seeing him, then?"
"No, we're just friends. Um, he's really great though. And his dad is from Edinburgh."
"Ah, so he's no half bad then," I can hear her smile.
"No, not half bad," I grin.
"I told ye be'fore, he'll be good in the sack, Saige. But tha's it. Just remem'ber tha and you and the wee bugger can enjoy yer friendship," I can almost see her quoting with a dirty grin.
"He's not like that for me. He's just a friend, but he's very nice and he's not so wee. He's actually kind of a brick shithouse he's so big, though he's always very gentle and sweet when he's with me."
"Well then, throw him yer knickers and enjoy it while it lasts," she actually does laugh when I groan.
"Mum-"
"Wha? You think I dunna know what you and tha cheat'er were up to? I met your father at 19, love, and married him by 20. So I know aboot hormones, Saige."
"This just got really gross so I'm hanging up now," I cringe as she laughs again. "I'll call you next weekend to see about a visit, okay?"
"Sure. Bring the fella if ye want'ta."
"Ah, I'm not sure."
"Or don't. Just remem’ber-"
"Never give anyone my heart again, and I'll be fine. Right?" I ask a little irritated with her.
"Tha's right. And it's sound advice, Saige. Trust me."
"Okay. Anyway, enjoy your dance on Saturday."
"Oh, I plan on it. We'll be speakin' soon," she says before hanging up.
Holding my phone, I regret calling my mum instantly. She's never helpful and she's always jaded. She's the worst at advice on everything and yet I'm always drawn back to her because she's my formerly drunk, formerly crazy mum who I still love.
Plus she's the only family I have.
Sending a text before bed, I'm not sure why Malcolm ditched me other than he actually does have a life, unlike me.
But I like talking to him, and I miss him when he isn’t around.
As a friend.
'Good night, Malcolm.' I text almost sadly.
CHAPTER 22
Dropping off dirty plates in the kitchen I wave when I see Selena walking to the bar 5 minutes early.
“How was your night?” Selena asks
"I was soooooo bored," I whine.
"You didn't see Malcolm?"
"Um, no. He had plans," I almost sneer.
"Huh."
Looking across the dining room I pretend I'm not bothered in the least that Malcolm had plans to do something. Probably with someone.
"Okay, well you have something to celebrate tomorrow night, too," she says pulling out an envelope from her purse. "Here. Open it," she giggles excited when she flips it over so I see the Harvard insignia.
Gasping, I rip it open instantly. With Selena hovering over my shoulder I read as quickly as possible. "I'm in! I'm totally in. The conditional acceptance was lifted and I received the prestigious Beckett Award for scholastic excellence."
"What does that mean?"
"Ah, an entitlement of 25 thousand this year. And I can use up to 20% of it for personal living expenses which will definitely help. The other 80% has to go towards tuition though."
"Holy shit. What is the actual tuition cost this year?" She asks cringing before I even tell her.
"$56 thousand. Um, a year," I cringe myself as she gasps. "But I'll get the Federal Direct Stafford Loan, and I won a scholarship grant from my internship with Dunsdon and Hallaway of 15 thousand a year. So I'll only have to borrow about 30 thousand my first year for the tuition balance and for living expenses in federal loans. And if I keep up my grades, I can probably count on the scholarships to hold out year after year." Speaking fast, I hope she doesn't have a meltdown if I explain it all quickly.
"But you have to pay back the Stafford loan when you're finished school, right?"
"Yeah, but that'll only be about 30 thousand a year.”
"Times 4 years?"
"That's nothing, Selena. God, I already owe 50 thousand from my pre-law degree."
"But that's so much debt. Over, what... 170 thousand?" She actually cries out a little like she's really worried about this.
Looking around, I hope to hell no one can hear us. "I know it seems like a lot, but it’s really not that bad. Honestly," I add when she huffs like I'm full of shit. "It's really not. The average starting salary for a Harvard law graduate is over a hundred thousand annually, so if I live modestly, I can pay off everything in maybe 2-3 years tops."
"But-"
Exhaling, I cut her off before she gets really worked up. "Selena, this is my life. So it's like an investment. I have to do this now so I can have the future I want later. I don't have a choice."
"You have a choice. But you feel like you have to be a lawyer because of Alec. And that's not really a choice. Or a life, Saige."
Stunned she would say that or even think it, I'm a little hurt and overwhelmed by this conversation.
"Selena, I don't mean this badly, but what I do or why I do it is absolutely none of your business. I want to be a lawyer, and this is how you do it. So I'll deal with the debt afterward like every other goddamn lawyer does. I'll struggle, then I'll be free to make my mark."
"For Alec," she huffs totally pissed at me for some reason I can't understand.
"For me. And for him. And for everyone else who needs good council when they're in trouble."
"But-"
"Jesus Christ, Selena. Why are you acting like this? You've known since the day we met what I was doing- you even said 10 minutes ago I had a reason to celebrate. But now you're acting like this is all a news flash to you or something. Did you really think I could be the very best going to a local community college?"
"Like me?" She asks glaring at me.
"Did you want to be a lawyer before Griffin? Because otherwise, I'm not making that comparison at all. I'm merely saying I didn't bust my ass and potentially lose the love of my life just to half-ass it in a community college where I wouldn't get my damn degree anyway."
After a very tense silence between us, Selena finally nods. "I'm sorry. I just hate seeing you waste your life in school with huge debt for something I don't think you actually
want anyway."
"First, I hardly think paying off a debt in 3 years- 4 years from now is wasting my life. Second, it is what I want. And I'm not sure why you suddenly think otherwise."
"Oh, I don't know... Maybe because if you weren't leaving you'd actually start a relationship with the best fucking guy I've ever met in my life."
"Wait, I-"
"Or because you still cry about Alec in your sleep but can't talk about him. Or because you say stupid fucking things like 'the love of your life'," she quotes obnoxiously, "when talking about that lying, using, cheating prick Tyler."
"Okay, we're done. I have to get to work, and I can't talk to you anymore," I snap turning my back to leave.
"Run, Saige," she laughs at me which makes me nearly violent.
Wanting to scream at her, I shake my head and walk away instead. I will not lose Selena over this, but it's getting pretty fucking close and I'm not sure why she's doing this to me.
Storming back into the family side of the restaurant, I put on my happy face and talk to my tables. I only have an hour left to get through, even though I feel that sad, draggy, I need to cry thing I used to get weeks ago suddenly weighing me down.
Entering my desserts slip for table 18, I think of Malcolm, then want to talk to Malcolm, and basically want to see Malcolm.
I'm not sure why he was a little distant to me last night or why he hasn't called or texted today, but I miss him. So deciding to go first, I send off a quick text.
'How’s your day?' And then I carry on for a few minutes bussing my tables as Aileen settles in to trade off with me.
'Good. Yours?'
'It WAS good. Now, not so much. Want to have dinner with me?'
'Want to finally see my splendid manor in Montgomery Park? I'll barbecue us steaks?' Laughing I can almost hear the hoity pretend accent he used when he said Montgomery Park.
'Steak? I'm in. Medium Rare. I like it bloody.'
'You're a wee beast. 464 Orchid Ave. Need directions?'
'No. I'll find it. I have some good news.'
'Oh yeah?'
'Yes. Can I bring anything? Dessert?'
'2 slices of the cheesecake. And whatever you want.;)'
'OK. See you in an hour.'
'Looking forward to it.'
*****
Walking out of the employee lounge after changing, Selena and I make eye contact and when she smiles, I can't help smile back. I mean she was way out of line, but I think she means well even if she gets a little too motherly with me sometimes.
Checking the MapQuest map again, I'm nearing Malcolm's house when all the beautiful homes, and beautiful landscaping, and beautiful everything starts. The roads are immaculate, and I swear even the people I see walking around are immaculate. God, it really is a whole other world when you enter Montgomery Park.
Seeing Malcolm's SUV first, I pull over out front and really look at his home. It's smaller than the surrounding homes, though not small at all. And it's absolutely beautiful.
From the black trim on the white stucco and siding, it fits perfectly in this neighborhood. He even has a burgundy door and mailbox, with matching landscaping which just makes the house that much lovelier to look at.
Grabbing the whole cheesecake I bought for him from D'Vecseys I just step out of my car when Malcolm and a woman step out hugging. Watching in another slow motion trance, you'd think I'd be used to this feeling… but here I am again.
Winded and shocked and just ill.
"Saige?" Malcolm calls out from his front steps. "You're early," he says as the woman steps back into his house like she's hiding from me.
What. The. Fuck?
I can't breathe as he approaches me and I want to jump back in my car but he advances on me quicker than my brain tells my legs to move.
"Is that for me?" He smiles at the cheesecake and I nearly throw up.
Staring up at his eyes, I wish I could even reach to punch him in the face. Instead I toss the box at him and rip my car door open. Almost in, Malcolm's arm suddenly blocks me and when I attempt to just jump in under his arm, he grabs my arm to stop me.
"What the hell was that for?"
"Fuck. You," I groan deeply, ripping the door right out of his hand.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" He asks as I turn to the woman stepping out of his house again with a goddamn baby in her arms.
With my rage barely in check, I stare at her dumbfounded until he turns back to her then back to my face understanding my anger.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" He seethes close to my face. "She's my sister Moira, and that's my little niece." Looking back at his eyes, I see behind him Moira standing in his driveway watching us.
"What did you think? I was screwing some woman in my home minutes before you were expected, and you just happened to catch us?" Unable to speak, I hold the door for support and try to find the words needed to make him not so angry with me. "Did you?!" He growls not looking so handsome anymore but more menacing as I lean back from his face. "Did you really think I was with a woman minutes before you were coming over for a goddamn barbecue?"
"Yes," I cry as the shakes hit me and the adrenaline quickly spikes. "I'm sorry. I just, um, Tyler was with a woman when I came home early."
"I. Am. Not. Tyler."
"I know, I just- it looked like when you hugged her you were happy, and I felt sad," I exhale as I feel the first tear fall.
"I was happy because she's my sister. Did you really think I would do that to you?" He asks barely above a whisper.
"Yes. I'm sor-" Before I even finish the word Malcolm leans in and hugs me. He doesn't wait for me to initiate the hug like usual, he just hugs me. Big, and warm, and so suddenly, I exhale my upset, and inhale his kindness into me.
"I'm sorry I thought that. I should've known better. I just didn't expect to see something like that again."
"You won't see that again. Not from me. Okay?" Pulling away Malcolm stares at my eyes until I agree. "Can I introduce you to Moira and Madeline now?"
"Okay... I really am sorry, Malcolm."
"We're going to talk about it later, Saige, cuz I'm kind of pissed at you." When Malcolm bends to pick up the cheesecake box he also growls, "And if this is a whole cheesecake and you've ruined it our friendship is definitely over. Come on." Tugging my hand, I only have time for one quick cheek swipe of any tears before I'm standing in front of Moira.
"Saige, this is my sister Moira. Moira, this is Saige," he says still sounding a little pissed at me.
"Ah, the wee leprechaun," she grins. "I think you made quite an impression on Tatum."
"Well, if he keeps up with the leprechaun stuff, the fiery red-headed Scot in me will kick his ass," I grin back at her beautiful face. Tallish for a female, Moira has Malcolm's dark tanned skin and hair and his blue eyes as well.
"Will you kick his ass tomorrow night? Because we'd all pay to see that."
"I'll see how annoying he is and make sure Malcolm lets you know beforehand."
"Good enough. This little thing is Madeline," she leans forward with the baby in her arms. I've never really known a baby before so she might be 3 months, or maybe even 6, I really don't know.
"She's beautiful," I whisper gently touching her chubby little fingers. "How old is she?"
"4 months. We have to go but it was lovely meeting you. I'll see you tomorrow at the party."
"You too," I smile as she walks to her car in the driveway.
"I'll be back for you in a minute," Malcolm says very threateningly until I see a little smile as he turns.
Watching Malcolm walk Moira to her car I know there's nothing else I can say to take back my reaction 5 minutes ago. But I hate these quick bursts of irrational behavior, and I want to blame Tyler for this so badly I could scream.
Malcolm strapping in his niece is absolutely adorable. He's so huge all crunched into Moira's car doing whatever the hell he's doing that seems way more complicated then when I strap Griffin into his car seat.
; Waiting, Malcolm finally steps out and says something to his sister who looks over at me and smiles again. "It was nice meeting you, Saige. I'll see you tomorrow."
"You too. I'll see you tomorrow," I wave as Malcolm steps back from her window to advance on me again.
Beside me, Malcolm blocks out most of the sun, and he looks really tanned today I suddenly notice.
"Ready to go inside, or would you like to throw something else at me?" He asks teasing but I flinch anyway.
"I'm so sorry for that. I was just shocked so I had a flashback to that day at my old apartment, and I freaked."
"Understood. But do you understand that I'm not your asshole ex?"
"I do. It's just hard sometimes not feeling- no, more like waiting for something like that again. Malcolm my dad cheated on my mom too, twice actually before he left her and me, and then when Tyler did what he did it just hurt so badly, I kind of lost faith in men, or faith in monogamy, or trust, or just about every other single thing you can think of. Ah, I have a few hang-ups," I roll my eyes as he laughs.
"You don't say?" Throwing his arm over my shoulder Malcolm reaffirms, "I would never invite you over just to have a woman walk out of my home like we were together. It's not my style, Saige, or even a style. Please ask me questions before assuming the worst- I may surprise you."
"You do," I respond immediately. "You always surprise me, Malcolm."
"Good. Want to see my house now?" He asks sounding excited.
"I really want to see your house now. And by the way, it's the most perfect house on the street."
"Outside. Trust me there's still much to do inside. But yes, the outside is nice," he says with such pride, I wrap my arm around his waist and squeeze him.
Opening the front door I gasp amazed. "Oh, it’s beautiful!"
Between the dark tiles that turn into hardwood floors surrounded by white walls, everything you first see walking in is white and dark and beautiful. Even the stairs are dark wood with plush beige carpeting on the middle of each step.
"This is just the entrance. Trust me, it doesn't stay like this everywhere." Turning for the first room to the left I kick off my shoes and walk into his gorgeous library/den combo with browns and beiges everywhere. Photos line the mantle on a real wood fireplace, and all the photos on the walls are brown wood frames on crisp white walls in geometric patterns across the walls.