"Okay, I'll let this go. For now," Malcolm squeezes my side again. "But we will talk about what you went through that night. And this time I'm making you go to counseling, okay?"
"No, I-"
"This is non-negotiable. I couldn't force you to counseling after you were raped in April, but I'm forcing you to go this time. You need it, Saige. You have too much stuff unsettled and overwhelming between your past and your present. There's just too much for you to handle by yourself, and I need you to do this for us. I'll be and do anything you want, but I need you to get all this shit out with someone who can help you so we have a solid chance. Because I need to love you too, Saige. For the rest of my life."
Smiling, I agree because it's non-negotiable, and because Malcolm wants me to. "Okay."
"Ah, there's my wee lass," he brogues making me shiver. "I've missed you so much this past month, Saige."
"You only woke up yesterday," I smile.
"I know, but I missed you when I was unconscious. I know I did. I felt it."
"I missed you every moment of every day. I sang Ho Hey in my head constantly, and I cried all the time. I was just destroyed when you-" Stopping myself again, Malcolm doesn't need to hear anymore. I'm sure he understands what I was going through without him.
"Tell me, Saige. Talk to me."
"There's nothing to say. You were almost dead, and I was dead. Um, that's what the last month has been like for me," I whisper again so he doesn't feel hurt by my sadness.
"You look terrible, Saige. You look so thin and awful, and just so sad. I’m so sorry you went through this alone."
"I’m sorry. And you look way worse, Malcolm," I respond as stubborn as usual which makes him laugh a little against me.
"So we'll get better together?"
"Yes."
"Will you come home now?"
"If you'll have me?"
"Saige... nothing has changed for me. That last night, before everything happened you were coming home to me. You loved me, and you said your goodbye to Tyler and to your past. So I was waiting for you. Before I was shot you were supposed to come home and that hasn't changed. Nothing has changed for me and I still want you. I still love you. I've been unconscious for a month so everything picked up for me yesterday where it left off that night until I thought you ran from me and us, and-"
Sitting up to stare at his eyes, I tell him my absolute. "I never ran. I just gave you up to save you."
Nodding, Malcolm breathes our absolute. "You don't have to give me up, and I'm not leaving you. Ever, Saige."
"Okay," I exhale happily.
Understanding what I always mistrusted and couldn't accept, I trust and accept it now. Malcolm is not leaving me and I don't have to give him up. Ever, apparently.
"I love you, sweet, sweet, Mallie," I tear up a little but smile against his chest when I feel him squeeze me closer to his side.
THE END
Epilogue
Turning to Malcolm shuffling through the kitchen, I reach for his hand to squeeze. "I thought you'd sleep a little longer?"
"Nope. I've got a Thanksgiving to prepare for. And this is the only meal I cook well. So get out of my kitchen, Saige," he smiles and kisses me quickly.
"Thank god," I grin. "The potatoes are boiled, the yams are made, and, ah, that's about the extent of my culinary skills. I'll set the tables while you get your chef on with 2 friggin' turkeys. Honestly, Malcolm. 2?"
"We have 19 adults coming over, plus kids. So I'd rather have too much turkey than not enough. Plus, I don't know how much your mum and her date will eat," he smirks again as I swat his arm.
"I guess she reeeeealy didn't like cocks, did she?" I ask as Malcolm howls with laughter.
Finding out my mother was a lesbian was a complete shock, though a total relief as well. I actually welcomed the news because it took all the anti-male pressure out of the equation for me. Not that it would've continued anyway- Malcolm charmed the bitter old hag right out of my mum and her lovely Scottish girlfriend Mary.
Still grinning Malcolm turns me toward him before I can walk away to set the tables. "Wait. I need to-" Lifting me on the breakfast bar, Malcolm scooches between my spread legs and pulls me to his chest. "This is going to sound so cheesy," he grins placing my face against his chest. "But I'm so proud of everything you've done and are doing. And honestly, I'm so thankful for you in my life, Saige. But I thought I better say it now before the Thanksgiving toasts so I don't make a weepy ass of myself in public."
Pulling away to look at his eyes, Malcolm takes my face in his hands and kisses my lips so softly I melt right on the counter. Pulling away, I look at his bright blue eyes and feel all his love surrounding me.
"You did all of this, Malcolm. Without you supporting me, I never would've turned down Harvard. I wouldn't have finally decided I didn't want to be the old Saige anymore. I wouldn't have applied at the University or talked to Handle about what I wanted to do. And I never would've accepted the teaching placement he pulled off without you telling me I could do it. Everything I am now is all you," I whisper before he kisses my lips again softly.
"I love you, Saige."
"I know," I grin before he kisses me again. A little harder and deeper Malcolm kisses the humor from my lips as my body heats up for him.
"I need you," he groans as I nod.
Tearing at Malcolm's jeans, I rip down the zipper as he lifts my ass off the counter. Yanking my track pants down one-handed, he pulls away quickly to push his jeans to his knees before I'm pulled right to the edge of the counter.
God, he still turns me on and gets me going just from his strength alone. In only 3 months he's put back on most of the weight and muscle he lost in the hospital, and he's been back to work for a month now. Due to his twice weekly physiotherapy appointments his left arm is even back to functioning at 85% from the nerve damage he suffered from one of the 4 bullets he took that horrible night.
Stopping to look at Malcolm completely still in front of me, I'm overwhelmed again by how close we came to ending, how close he came to dying, and how close I was to never knowing this happiness with him.
When I see him like this, sexy as hell, with his intense growly face towering over me it can still overwhelm me that I not only live with this man but that he loves me to the death as he says now on a regular basis to remind me of his love.
"Baby... don't. I'm fine, and you're fine. We're safe and today is going to be a very fun, very loud celebration with all our family and friends."
"I'm not-"
"I know that look, Saige. And I know when the fear and sadness overwhelms you. I know you cuz ‘you're my sweet-heart,’" he gently sings against my ear as I moan in his arms.
Breathing against my mouth Malcolm whispers, "Never again, Saige. Your ghosts have finally passed on, and the bad people are out of your life either in prison or dead. Kyle is still in jail for a long time, and Kaitlyn is awaiting her trial for accessory after the fact and hindering a police investigation. They’re gone, Saige. And- "
"But Tyler- "
"Will deal with whatever happens to Kaitlyn and that child, between them. But I'm always going to be here with you. Okay?"
"Okay," I breathe on a quick exhale as Malcolm kisses me deeply back to our present.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Sarah Walker is a Scottish Canadian living in Canada with her son.
In her real life, Sarah is a devoted mother, and an absolute junkie for coffee, dark chocolate with sea salt, and high heels.
www.authorsarahannwalker.com
Sarah can be found on Facebook
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Sarah Ann Walker, (Mis)Trust
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