CHAPTER XXXI
MILLION BUCKS UP
MISS MILLION has returned, her troubles for the moment forgotten; hersmall face rosy from the sunshine and the outdoor air; also as radiantas if no Assizes loomed before us in a few weeks' time.
"You'll be glad to hear, Smith, that I've settled what to do about allthat fuss and botheration about the money," she told me as I kneltbeside her on the carpet, unfastening her grey suede shoes. "Me and mycousin have fixed that up."
"Have you?" I said, delightedly glancing up at her, and pausing with oneof her small but dumpy feet in my hand. "Have you really settled it withMr. Jessop? Oh, I am so glad! I hope," here I gave an affectionatelittle squeeze to that grey, silk-sheathed foot, "I do hope you'll bevery happy."
"Well, he will, that's pretty certain," said Miss Million in her mostmatter-of-fact tone of voice; "but whether I will is another matter.
"All depends upon whether this here bomb-dropper turns out a goodinvestment or a wild-goose chase. 'Twouldn't surprise me a bit if it didthat. Still! He's been talking to me again about it this afternoon,explaining it all while we sat on two green wooden chairs under thetrees on the grass, as grave as two judges. And I'm taking the chance."
"I think you're so right!" I said enthusiastically. "I'm quite sure he'sexactly the sort of husband for you----"
"Husbands?" echoed Miss Million, and gazed at me stonily. "Who's talkingof husbands?"
"Why----Aren't you?" I exclaimed, utterly taken aback. "Don't youmean----When you said you'd fixed it up with Mr. Jessop didn't you meanyou'd said you'd marry him?"
"Ow! Now!" ejaculated Million in her Cockniest voice, vigorously shakingher little dark head. "Marry him? Not much! When I said I'd fixed it upI meant I was going to 'come in' with the money to float this hereinvention of his. No going to Lawr at all. I shall just pay him over somuch.
"We'll get old Mr. Chesterton to arrange about that, and let him do thebest he can. We're goin' shares, and we're going to share profits inwhat he makes over the thing--if anything. He seems to me just like aboy we sor in Kensington Gardens when we was out; a boy with a modelyacht, mad with joy over the machinery of it, and the what-not!
"That's just like my cousin Hiram. Men are kids!" added Miss Millionwith a profound smile.
I looked at her with surprise as I fetched her little indoor slippers."And you're giving him the money to play with this yacht of his?"
"Yes. He talked me round to that," said my mistress. "But talk me roundinto marrying him into the bargain was a thing he couldn't do."
"Why not?" I ventured. "You like him. He's nice----"
"Yes. But marriage! Not for me," said Miss Million, again shaking herdark head. "I've been thinking it well out, and that's what I've cometo. I'm better single. I've plenty of money, even after I've paid Hiramall he wants for the blessed machine--sounds like a sewing machine onthe hire system, don't it?
"As I am, I'm my own mistress," said our little ex-maid-servantexultantly. "Go where I like, do what I like----"
"Except for being arrested and put into prison," I put in ruefully.
"Ow! That about the old ruby. Hiram'll fix that yet, see if he don't,"said Miss Million, in tones of pride--family pride, I suppose.
"But, as I was saying, while I'm single I can go about as I choose,nobody saying a word to me. And nobody can twit me with being an oldmaid, neither, for when a lady's got money there's no such thing! Sothere's one reason gone why she should worry to get married. After all,what does a gel get married for, mostly?"
I waited expectantly.
"Home of her own," went on Miss Million oracularly. "And I can get thatany day of the week. Two or three I can get. I've been looking at someo' these illustrated ad-verts in the papers.
"And, Smith, d'you know there's a place down in Wales that u'd suit medown to the ground if I want a bit of a change, furnished and all. Ialways liked the idea of Wales. I'll ask Hiram's advice about thathouse."
This reminded me of another young man who had once hoped to have hisadvice asked for on subjects of this nature by the little heiress beforeme. Poor Mr. Burke, once hero-worshipped by this funny little DollarPrincess!
I couldn't understand her.
I had to remind her gently: "It isn't only a home of her own, surely,that a girl's thinking of when she gets married. I--I never thought youthought so, either, Miss Million. What about--what about being in lovewith the man?"
Hereupon my young mistress, sitting there on the corner of the pinkhotel couch, proceeded to give me some (changed) views of her own on thesubject of love.
"It's all very well, but love is not what it's cracked up to be in thosetales out of the Celandine novelettes that I used ter be so fonderreadin'," she said decidedly. "The fack is, I've had some. Look how goneI was on that Mr. Burke. Fair sloppin' over with love, as they call it."
"Miss Million, dear, do try not to talk quite so--err--quite like that,"I ventured mildly. But my mistress was no longer to be guided by what Ithought suitable or unsuitable expressions to come from the mouth of ayoung lady of fortune.
"Hiram thinks I talk lovely, and what's good enough for him ought to begood enough for the rest of the people I'm likely to meet, so I'm notgoin' to break my neck no more trying to talk like your AuntNasturtium," announced Million defiantly. "I'm goin' to talk straight,the way it comes natchrul to me. Now about this love. As I say, I beenlet down once with it. And once bit, twice shy. I'm not goin' to letmyself get buzzed, as Vi calls it, no second time. S'no use any moregood-lookin' young gentlemanly men comin' round to try and get on thesoft side of Nellie Million, and fillin' her up with a lot of Tales ofHoffmann jest because she happens to have a bit of her own. That was ashock to me, Smith, that was. That about the Honourable Mr. Burke beingsuch a liar. It's a good job, in a way. Because it's put me off love forlife!"
"I wonder," I said, standing there, and looking thoughtfully down at thewell-dressed, sturdy little figure with the black hair that I can stillsee looking neat and glossy under a cap. "If it has done that, it may,as you say, be 'a good job.' But it might be--a great pity!"
"Ar, go on. Don't you believe that, Miss Kid," returned my mistress witha funny little echo of England's Premier Comedienne in her voice."Love's all right for anybody that hasn't got anything else to hope for,and that's about as much as you can say for it. But what about yourself,Smith?"
Here my mistress's bright grey eyes gave me a very straight glance.
"What about our young Mr. Brace, him from the bank? I sor him in court,and it wasn't at me he was looking at all. Then there was at lunchto-day. Several times Vi has passed the remark about him and you beingvery thick----"
I repressed a wish to check this expression. After all, if "Hiram"considers it lovely, and it comes "natchrul" to Miss Million, why shouldI worry any longer about her flowers of speech?
She then put a "straight" question:
"Has that young gentleman bin makin' up to you?"
I answered her in a "straight" manner:
"Yes. He has. He's asked me to marry him."
"Oh! Good for you!" exclaimed my young mistress delightedly. "Marry you,already? That would be a step up for you, wouldn't it, Smith? From beingmy maid to being a bank manager's wife! Something like, that is. Ialways liked him--always thought him a very nice, gentlemanly, superiorsort of looking young feller. And so did you, Miss Beat--so did you,Smith! In the old days at Putney, with his garden-hose and all!(Artful!) Well! Of course, it'll be a bit strange for me at first,having to have somebody fresh to do for me, after getting accustomed toyou. But I've got my clothes now; and I'm sort of used to things. Ishan't feel quite so lorst as I should at first. I shall be sorry to saygood-bye to you, o' course. You and me have always hit it, Smith,some'ow, whether when you was the maid--or I was," concluded my youngmistress simply, looking up at me with genuine affection in her eyes."And I shall always remember you, wherever you are, and I hope you'llcome round and have a
cup o' tea sometimes when you're Mrs. Brace, and Ihope you'll accept that two quarters' salary from me now as a weddingpresent--not that I won't try and find you some sort of a littleresermenter when it comes to The Day! How soon 'ull him and you begetting married, do you suppose?"
She was at the end of this long and kind-hearted speech before I couldfind breath to interrupt.
I said hastily: "Oh, but now you're making the same mistake that I didabout you! I may not have to leave you at all, Miss Million. I don'tknow if I shall ever be 'Mrs. Brace.' I don't know if I've made up mymind to marry him--I told him I must think it over----"
"Better 'ook him while you can, dear. Young men are fearful ones forchopping and changing, once you leave 'em to go off the coil, so terspeak," Miss Million advised me in a friendly, motherly little tone."Not too much of your thinkin' it over. You're suited; well, you tellhim so!"
I said nothing. I didn't know what to say.
"Or," pursued Miss Million, "if you reely think he's the sort to thinkmore of you for 'keeping him guessing,' as Hiram calls it, well, I tellyou what. Me and you'll go down to my country house----"
"Where?" I asked, astounded. I had forgotten Miss Million's new plan ofcampaign. "Where will we go?"
"Why, to this Plass or Plarse, or whatever they call it, in Wales, thatI'm thinking of takin'," said Miss Million, rustling the glossy leavesof the _Country Life_ with the advertisement that had taken her fancy."We'll go there, Smith, and chance the ducks. If the perlice want usagain----"
She gave a little shiver.
"Well, they can come and fetch us from there, same as they did from the'Refuge.' Any'ow, we'll have a bit of peace and quiet there first. Ialways did like the idear of scenery, and there's lots of that there.And we'll have down people to stay with us, so as to liven things up abit," enlarged Miss Million, wetting her finger to turn over the pagesof the magazine. "Vi Vassity we'll have; must have her, after her bein'so decent to us. A friend in need, that's what I call her. And Mrs.Flukes----" (This is the ventriloquist's wife.)
"We'll have her," planned the future mistress of the country house."Give her a bit of a change, and get her strength up again after thatbaby. We'll take them down with us after we've been at the 'Refuge' fora few days; and the nurse. And then we'll ask this Mr. Brace of yours tocome down, Smith, after a week or so. Y'orter be able to give him word,one way or another, after all that time, didn't you?"
"Yes--I ought," I said.
"Well, there you are," said Miss Million complacently, getting up fromthe couch. "I'll dress for late dinner now. Did you think to have mecerise ironed out a bit?"
"No; and I'm afraid it's too crushed for you to wear," I said, with agreat show of penitence. "I'm afraid I shall have to dress you in thecream, instead." She was ready dressed in the cream-coloured frock, withthe little golden shoes; she was just going down to join her cousin inthe big dining-room when she turned with a last word to put in on Mr.Brace's account.
She said: "Your Auntie would be pleased about it now."
I said: "I don't suppose I shall hear anything more about what my auntwould like me to do."
I was wrong.
For by this morning's post there has arrived a note from my aunt atPutney. Not for me. For my mistress!
The note is short enough. It is signed only "Anastasia Lovelace," andall it says is:
"Enclosed find notes to the amount of thirty pounds, being the sum advanced by you as salary to Miss Beatrice Lovelace. She will now return to Putney, bringing your receipt."
"Will," again. Will she?
And the notes!
Both Miss Million and I have been gazing in amazement upon the rustlingsheaf that my mistress took out of the registered envelope.
Where, in the name of all that's unaccountable, did Aunt Anastasia"raise" all that money, and in such a short time?
When could she ever have put her hands upon thirty pounds of Englishmoney?
Borrowed--pooh! Who has she to borrow from?
Beg--so like her!
Steal--I'm the only member of her family who's ever been accused ofthat!
Surely--oh, surely, she can't have got the money from the HonourableJim?
I can't think how else she can have got it, though.
There's only one thing I know.
I'm not going back to be Aunt Anastasia's niece any more!
I'm going on being Miss Million's maid; I shall go to this new place inWales with her!