Chapter 5
The next day at school, kids were all whispering and passing notes, trying to find out why Corena went off on Hope. They kept asking me what I knew, but I wasn't telling. Eventually, the story got around about Corena getting the crabs, and people quit talking about it—nobody wanted to be heard saying something bad about Corena. I knew Corena wanted it to die down. She didn't say anything more to Hope, and Sidney Bouchard wasn't going around trying to stir things up like she normally would.
That night, we cheered at a basketball game, which we hadn't done since before Christmas. Corena was in charge of the cheerleaders, and we only cheered when she wanted to, which wasn't often. Hope even decided to show up. What was more surprising was that her boyfriend, Garrett, wasn't with her. She stood down at the other end of the line, away from Corena, and Corena pretended like Hope wasn't there.
We were playing Eastman, this private school from the city. "A bunch of rich, prissy boys," as Tammy would say. It was a close game, but it seemed like we were always three points behind the other team, and by the third quarter, Calvin, K.P., and Terrell were all in foul trouble. Tammy, who was sitting down by where we were cheering, kept running over to the sidelines screaming at the referees. You could hear her voice bouncing all over the gymnasium, and people were looking over at her waiting to see what she was gonna do next. She kept booing the refs, pointing at them and calling them racists, and saying they only knew how to call fouls on black people. Terrell's mom was sitting nearby trying to talk to Tammy and calm her down. I heard her tell Tammy that God was watching us, and we should let him be the judge. Next thing you know, Tammy starts yelling at the referees, "God is watching you. He sees what you're doing." We were all embarrassed for her, even Corena, who finally turned to her mom and told her to shut up. Tammy said, "Don't you tell me to shut up, girl. I'll say what I want." And she did for the rest of the game. K.P. eventually fouled out, and we ended up losing 38 to 45, but nobody was too upset about it.
After the game, we all went over to Alley's place, which was the new party pad. Like Makayla, Alley didn't have any parents. Her dad had died from a drug overdose when she was in seventh grade, and her mom was in prison. She'd been living with Trent and his family even though she and Trent broke up over a year ago. Then in December, she started getting money from the state to rent her own apartment, and that's where we'd been going to party for the last month or so.
Everyone was there, Corena, the basketball team, Lori, Chelsea, and the rest of the cheerleaders, even Makayla and her boyfriend—everyone but Hope, who I knew wouldn't show. Then Trent and Keenan and their crew came rolling in, trying to be all bad-ass with their funky clothes, stinking of cologne. Trent was in Calvin's class and a year ahead of me. He liked to act like he was some kind of thug, but to me, he just seemed like an angry redneck. And Keenan was Corena's ex-boyfriend, the guy who gave her the crabs. He dropped out of school after Corena broke up with him.
When Corena showed up at the party, I could tell she was in a bad mood. I watched Keenan walk towards her like he was gonna talk to her. When he got close, Corena gave him the finger right in his face and said, "I don't have anything to say to you, asshole." Keenan stood there giggling while Corena held her finger in his face. Then Latisha walked over, grabbed Keenan by the arm, and pulled him across the room. A few minutes later I heard Corena saying to Sidney Bouchard, "I can't believe that crazy bitch is here. She better not get near me." I knew she was talking about Makayla, who she hated.
Everyone was kinda staying away from Corena, which was making things tense, so I went over and tried to make conversation.
I said, "Hey, Corena. What's up?"
She said, "Nothin'," and stood there looking irritated.
"You want some vodka? Lori brought two bottles."
"No. I don't feel like drinking."
"So, whadya think of those cuties on the other team?"
She said, "Some of them were all right." Then she kinda furrowed her brow, looked me over, and asked, "What, are you still looking around?"
"Well, you can always look, can't ya?"
She said, "I guess so," and looked away like she was turning her nose up at me. I got this feeling she was trying to insinuate something, and I thought to myself, What a bitch. Here I am trying to make small talk, and she's pulling this 'I'm more pristine than you' routine. I turned and walked away.
Makayla was being her usual self, running around the room, stirring things up, and acting like she was about twelve years old. She'd take hats off of guy's heads and throw them across the room or goose guys in the ass when they were taking a sip of beer. When she acted like that, girls would think she was flirting with their boyfriends, but it wasn't anything serious; it was just Makayla being Makayla. Her boyfriend, Bobby, was the same way. He was always trying to be cute or outrageous, especially when he talked to girls. He'd been that way since eighth grade, when he still went to Lifegate. Thing was, some people were starting to talk, saying he was gay because of these comments he'd been making. Most of it was just stupid stuff that'd he'd take too far, and he'd always try to play it off like he was joking, but he was starting to freak people out, especially some of the guys. And I guess he was the only person at Alley's party who couldn't see that Corena was in a bad mood. I don't know why he even tried to talk to Corena, knowing how she felt about Makayla, but he did, and he said something to her that she didn't like at all.
I heard Corena yell all the way across the room. She said, "How dare you say that to me!" and she looked like she was about to punch him.
Bobby was standing there, big smile on his face, kind of laughing. He said, "Hey, you don't need to get mad. I'm just saying…"
Corena cut in, "Yeah, well why don't you tell that to your girlfriend." Then she snarled at Makayla across the room, "Hey, Makayla, why don't you get your pervert boyfriend away from me?"
Bobby said, "I'm just joking…" but it was too late. Corena was mad, she was taking it real personal, and wasn't gonna let it drop.
She leaned towards him and said, "I don't think it's funny. Do I look like some kind of a slut to you? Is that what you think I am?…cause I'll beat your ass!"
Calvin, who'd just finished rolling a blunt on the coffee table, got up and walked towards them. He held the blunt between his fingers like a wand, waved his hands in there air, and said, "Hey, Hey, let's all be cool now. We don't need any fighting…"
Corena said to Bobby, "If anyone's a slut, it's you, you fucking faggot…"
Calvin stood in front of Corena, still waving the blunt in the air, and said, "Come on, come on. Just forget what the man said, and let's all relax and have a good time…"
While all this was going on, I heard Keenan and Trent off to the side laughing and making comments under their breath. This just seemed to make Corena more irritated. She gave them a dirty glance, looked around the room at all of us, and said, "Maybe I'll just leave and get away from all you assholes." Then, looking as if she was about to cry, she stormed out of the apartment, and Sidney Bouchard went running after her.
After this happened, nobody was having a good time. Makayla and Bobby got their coats and left without saying bye to anyone. Calvin smoked everyone down, but soon as we got high, Lori started bitching at Keenan and Trent for giving Corena a hard time. Then Lori and Keenan got into a yelling match. Keenan wasn't being real serious, he was laughing and trying to be funny, but Lori was pissed about something, and she wouldn't shut up. She was calling Keenan all kinds of names—an infestation and a drip dick. Then Keenan said, "Who cares what you think, you schizo drunk," which sent Trent and others guys rolling.
Lori was kind of taken aback by the comment. She sat there with a blank look on her face, her mouth hanging open. Then she leaned forward, looked Keenan right in the eyes real serious, and said, "If you ever call me that again, I'll stab you." She got up and went into the kitchen while everyone else sat there looking nervous. Then Jeff Shikes spilled his beer on the floor, and Alley got mad
and started kicking everyone out. Calvin and I left and went to his house, where I spent the night.
We spent our whole Saturday in Calvin's basement watching TV and playing video games. Calvin's parents never cared if I slept over—they were cool. They were the only parents I knew who weren't divorced. I didn't go home until about nine Sunday morning, and when I walked in the house, I was sure I was gonna be in trouble—I hadn't bothered to call or send a text telling my mom where I was. But she didn't say anything about it. She asked me how Calvin was doing and how the game went Friday night. I figured she was really glad Calvin and I were back together, more than I'd expected.
But you see, one of the problems with my mom was that she was so quick to change her mind about things, it was hard to adjust your behavior to make her happy. Usually, I didn't even try. And by Sunday evening, she'd already started reconsidering my relationship with Calvin. I'd gone over to his house right after dinner, and when I came home at about twelve thirty, she was waiting for me.
She said, "It's about time you came home, girly. Don't you know you have school tomorrow?" I could tell she was drunk just by how she was laying on the couch. She'd probably been drinking all evening. She said, "We're not starting this, Macy dear, you staying out all hours and spending all your time over at Calvin's house."
I said, "Yeah? Would you rather have me roaming the streets like I used to? Or should I be hanging around Lori? Which one do you want me to do?"
She raised her voice and said, "Don't get smart. I want you coming home when you're supposed to. It's a school night, Macy." I told her I didn't have any homework and that I'd be up this late anyway if I was home. She asked, "How can you not have any homework? You were suspended for two days last week!"
I said, "I got it done at school. Anyway, there's never a lot of homework at the beginning of the semester."
I knew why she was mad. When she starts drinking, she gets lonely and needs people to talk to.
She said, "You're not going to be spending all your time over at Calvin's. I know what goes on over there." Then she paused to see what I would say. I didn't say anything. She asked, "His parents still let you smoke weed in front of them?"
I said, "We don't smoke weed in front of his parents, Mom. You don't even know. His parents are nice, and they leave us alone. If I bring my friends over here, you spend the whole time talking to them."
"Oh, so you don't want me to talk to your friends?"
"No!" I said. "We wanna be left alone. Nobody wants to sit there and talk to their friend's mom all evening."
"You go over and talk to Corena's mom."
"That's different. She's my principal. We talk about people at school. All you do is talk about your problems, and nobody cares."
She said, "So I embarrass you," sounding hurt.
"Well, yeah! My friends don't want to hear about any of that stuff."
She said, "Well I thought we were friends, Macy. Aren't you the one who is supposed to be such a good friend to everyone?" Then she started crying. She never sobs, just cries real quietly. I could see big tears rolling down her cheeks onto her shirt. She said, "Well, I'm sorry. You're all I got, Macy. How do you think I feel when you're gone every night and I'm sitting here all by myself?"
She wanted me to feel sorry for her, but I didn't want to. I was tired. I said, "You're not by yourself. You've got Justin and your husband."
She said, "Justin goes to sleep at 9:00, and Robert's working. And some stuff I'd rather talk to you about than him. But you don't care about me. You've got your friends, and you're worried about their problems, but you don't wanna hear about mine."
That's why she was mad. She didn't care when I came home or what I was doing. She wanted me to feel guilty so I would listen to her talk about whatever was bothering her. If she hadn't started drinking, she'd be sound asleep, not all bent out of shape. So I stayed up for the next two hours, sitting in a chair, listening to her talk. She started out complaining about her boss, who was so busy sleeping around he'd leave all the work for her to do and was always trying to get her to work more hours. Then it was Aunt Cheryl and her kids, who were a bunch of morons and all dropping out of school—but Aunt Cheryl wouldn't listen to any of the advice my mom gave. She didn't appreciate it and told my mom to stay out of her business. Then my mom started complaining about Robert, which is what I hate the most. She was mad because Robert wasn't spending enough time with Justin, my eight-year-old half brother. I liked Robert, but he was a cop, and he worked evenings and was never home. Sometimes, I wondered why my mom married him. He was a lot younger than her, which is why I think they had a lot of problems.
Problems! There was always a problem, and it changed from day to day. One day, it'd be someone she worked with. The next day, it'd be her sister, or something I did, or Robert, or the next-door neighbors. It was always something real petty or stupid, never important. A lot of times, it was something that didn't even concern her, like with Aunt Cheryl and her stupid kids. And whatever the problem was on any day, that's what she'd talk to everyone about. First, I had to hear it, then I'd hear her going over it again on the phone, and then she'd tell Robert when he came home. And Robert, he'd take her real seriously, like he was her fucking psychologist or something, and make her talk about it more.
Sometimes, I didn't even want to go home because I didn't wanna hear about whatever was bugging her that day. And it was always me she had to talk about it with. She said I was a good listener. I was a good listener because I never cared about what she was saying enough to say anything back. I'd just tune her out and stare at the TV. She was always saying, "You're my best friend, Macy. We've been through a lot together." I'd think to myself, What the fuck is that! It was more like she's been through a lot, and I sort of got drug along. And as far as her problems were concerned, if she'd ever dealt with a really important problem, had actually taken some sort of action, then maybe we wouldn't have had to go through some of the shit we did.
I was falling asleep in the chair.
She said, "You're not even listening."
I said, "I'm tired, and I've gotta go to school tomorrow."
"I know. I shouldn't have kept you up with all this, honey. I'm sorry."
I said, "Good night, Mom. I love you."
"Come give me a kiss."
"Oh, Mom…"
"Come on…"
I went over to where she was laying on the couch, gave her a peck on the cheek, and went to bed.