“Thanks.”
~~~~
Sunday, the 4th
Saundra barely heard the busy tone over the wind’s wail. She hung up, dropped the phone beside her on the bed, and buried her head in her hands.
For several years Saundra hadn’t taken advantage of Kellie’s marital insight; now that she had nowhere else to turn, Kellie was two hours away, getting the worst of the storm.
Saundra recalled the days when she and Kellie often celebrated how their lives turned out – happily married, living nearby, and constantly spending time with each other and their families. But when Saundra realized that her marriage was becoming more aggravating than pleasurable, she pulled back from discussing certain things. Saundra knew Kellie recognized something was wrong, because she would often offer advice and encouragement. But her advice was too broad and only showcased her ignorance of the situation.
She grabbed the phone and pressed redial. Seconds later she threw the phone to the head of the bed. She could have called Paul and confided in him. He was almost as good a confidant as Kellie, and he had tried to talk to her multiple times over the past few days. But she needed her sister.
The doorbell rang a few times before Saundra pushed herself from the bed to answer it. When she opened the door, Barbara waltzed in, umbrella in hand.
“Afternoon.”
Saundra pushed the door closed. “Barbara, I really don’t feel like talking.”
“Then listen.” Barbara leaned her umbrella against the wall. “It’s been days, Moody still hasn’t called you, and we know he’s okay because your brother-in-law is harboring him.” She placed a hand on her hip. “I won’t sit around while you get two-timed.”
“You’re two-timing your husband.” Saundra rolled her eyes and walked into the kitchen.
Barbara followed. “He did it first.”
“I don’t know why you just don’t get a divorce.” Saundra pulled a bottle of water from the refrigerator.
“We’re content with how we’re living,” Barbara said.
“That’s twisted, Barbara. It really is.”
Barbara shrugged. “I respect your opinion, but you still can’t get in touch with your sister, right?”
“Right.” Saundra took a sip of water.
“So you need advice.”
“I don’t think I need it from you,” Saundra said.
“Just hear what I have to say,” Barbara said.
Saundra set the bottle on the counter and folded her arms. “Okay,” she said with a heavy sigh.
Barbara took a seat at the table. “What faithful man is accused of cheating and doesn’t make moves to mend trust? It’s been days, Saundra. He’s guilty, and he’s putting off telling you.”
“He could be waiting to see if I’m still upset.” Saundra fished for reason. “Or what if he doesn’t know how to respond because my question was so farfetched?”
“It’s a yes or no question, hun.” Barbara crossed her legs. “And do you really think your questioning his fidelity was that farfetched?”
Saundra met Barbara’s gaze and couldn’t respond. She pulled out a chair and sat down. “I just…there’s no proof he’s cheating. Paul even said that he’s not cheating on me.”
“I’ll be honest.” Barbara nodded. “It might not be enough to prove he’s sleeping around, but it is enough to prove he doesn’t want to talk to you. That should tell you something right there.”
“Maybe I should call him.”
Barbara looked away but quickly turned back. “You want to know why I haven’t gotten divorced, Saundra? It’s because of Todd and Amy. They’re the only reasons. Having kids changes things.”
“Losing them changes things too.”
Barbara bit her lip and hesitated before she said, “I just don’t want to see you linger in a relationship where you’re not wanted. If I was in your position and I knew my life would become what I’m living right now, I’d leave.”
~~~~
Monday, the 5th
Moody tossed the two salad containers in a plastic bag and slouched back to the kitchen table. He felt strange inviting someone over to Paul’s place without consent, but he felt Paul would’ve only jumped to conclusions had he asked permission.
He looked across the table at Jessica who was readying herself to leave. “Do you really think I’m doing the right thing, Jess?”
Jessica snapped her purse closed. “I know you’re in an awkward position with Paul telling you to talk to Saundra, but that never worked, remember?”
“I just…maybe I didn’t try to communicate with her as much as I thought I did. I did continue ignoring her.”
“Moody, you’re a terrific guy. You deserve to watch your games without interruption.” She smirked. “It’s what guys do. Saundra should understand that.”
Moody shook his head, “I don’t know if that’s what I want.”
“What do you mean?”
“After some thinking, I realized it was only after Connor died that my focus turned to sports… I don’t know if it’s crazy that I’ve been subconsciously mourning my five-year-old’s death for three years,” a faint smile formed, “but Connor loved watching the games with me.”
“Connor was lucky to have a dad like you.” Jessica grinned and glanced at her watch. “I better get going.” She stood, and Moody followed suit. “Moody, I understand that when you watch sports, you feel closer to your son. I think it’s a common manner of grieving.” She put her purse strap on her shoulder. “Your wife might be over the accident, but she shouldn’t fault you for still feeling the pain.”
Moody sighed and said, “I think it’s more habit than it is grief at this point.”
“Okay.” Jessica nodded. “I’ll see you later.” She stepped forward, put her hands on Moody’s arms, and gave him a peck on the cheek.
With a hand on her back, Moody saw the apartment door swing open. His eyes shot wide and he stepped back. But Paul was already staring at him with his head tilted. Moody found that gesture more disconcerting than if Paul’s expression was one of shock.
Jessica spun around and walked toward the door, hand extended. “Hi, I’m Jessica. You have a beautiful apartment.”
Since Jessica blocked Moody’s view of Paul, Moody could only assume Paul shot her a hostile expression because she withdrew her hand and hurried out.
Mouth dry, Moody turned to retrieve a glass from the cabinet. “I didn’t know you were coming home for lunch today.” He heard Paul step into the kitchen.
“I guess we’re even – I didn’t know you were inviting your mistress over.”
“She’s not my mistress,” Moody said.
“Oh…she’s not?”
“I don’t have a mistress, Paul.” Moody mustered the nerve to spin around. “Jessica and I only talk. She’s helping me with the situation with Saundra.”
Paul dropped his fast-food bag on the kitchen table. “I wish I invested in cell phones, because I swear, Moody, if I could get through to Kellie, she would tear you apart right now.” Paul folded his arms. “How long have these lunches been going on?”
“Paul--”
“How long have you been talking to her?” Paul pressed.
Moody placed his unfilled glass on the counter beside him. “We’ve been talking after my shift and before her shift for a few months now, but the lunches only started recently.” Moody felt horrible being caught doing something he knew Paul thought was improper. “Paul, she’s only a friend.”
“Can I take a guess and say that you started talking to her not long after Saundra started giving you attitude?”
Moody considered the timeline. “I guess… But, Paul, I only wanted female conversation. It’s normal. And since Saundra--”
“Saundra was turned away by you first. Remember that. And since you chose not to go back to her, you found Jessica.” Paul rubbed his forehead and groaned. “I have to ask. When this little friendship started, was she giving you pecks on the cheek?”
M
oody put his hands in his pockets. “No.”
“Tell me what you think now that she is,” Paul said, his eyes unwavering.
“It’s not romantic!” Moody swiped his glass from the counter and walked to the water cooler. “She’s just being friendly.”
“Then, please, tell me why she waited until you were out of your house to show this friendliness. Moody, this woman is playing you for a sucker.”
“You don’t know her,” Moody said, filling his glass with water.
“I don’t think you know her,” Paul said. “No decent woman gives a married man pecks on the cheek and goes to secret rendezvous just meters away from a bedroom.”
“It was my idea to meet here.”
“Don’t defend her,” Paul spat. “And what’s the deal with throwing your garbage away someplace else?” He motioned to the bag of empty salad containers Moody had set on the counter. “Afraid I’d see two containers in the trash and assume something?”
“I figured you’d make a big deal out of it, yes.”
“Well, my brother-in-law is engaging in foreplay!”
“It’s not foreplay.”
“It is!”
Moody knew the peck on the cheek looked bad, but no one who wanted to break up a marriage would offer advice as Jessica had. The truth was that she confided in him just as much as he confided in her. She often expressed her desire to settle down and start a family with a good man, but her years of searching had never turned up anyone.
Paul dropped burgers and fries on the table. “You and Saundra both have this screwy mentality that ‘if you don’t talk to me here, I won’t talk to you there,’ and that cycle will continue until one of you stops it.” Paul abruptly took a seat. “I can’t control what you do outside of this apartment, Moody, but I’m kicking you out if you bring that jezebel around here again.”
~~~~
Tuesday, the 6th
When Saundra had grasped that Barbara was sincere in not wanting to see her make the same mistake, she had given up trying to contact Kellie. She also gave up expecting a call from Moody. She knew he loved her; she loved him. But maybe he was afraid to admit he was no longer in love with her. Barbara had told her that if Moody didn’t call in a week, all bets were probably off, whether Moody had lost interest in Saundra due to another woman or not.
Saundra walked into the kitchen and placed her purse on the island. She glanced at the clock to make sure she had plenty of time to eat before leaving to meet with the divorce lawyer.
Saundra refused to be Barbara’s duplicate – married with kids but both partners having another significant other. As much as it pained her, she preferred to end the marriage as soon as possible. She toyed with the idea of letting Moody know what she was doing, but figured it best to grant his wishes and let him have as much space as possible.
Saundra pulled out a frozen lasagna entrée and popped it in the microwave. Her shoes clacked on the wooden floor as she walked back to her purse and pulled out her collection of photographs. She paused to stare at a wedding picture that showcased her and Moody’s smiles.
How did they turn out this way? Was it his ignoring her? Was it her outbursts of anger toward him? Was it neither? Both?
The phone rang, and Saundra put the photos away. A part of her hoped it was Moody; another part of her hoped it wasn’t because she didn’t know if she could bear his confession.
Saundra sighed and lifted the phone. “Hello?”
“Hey, Saundra.”
“Kellie! Are you okay? I tried to call you!”
“We’re fine. The storm knocked out the power and phone lines,” Kellie said.
“How’re Mom and Dad?”
“They’re good. Everyone’s fine.”
Saundra thought it likely Paul had told Kellie what he knew of the situation, but Saundra wasn’t going to be the one to bring it up.
“You do realize you’re not spotless in this situation, correct?”
Saundra was caught off guard. “What?”
“I just got off the phone with Paul. He told me everything. In a nutshell since he’s at work, but I understood the gist.”
Saundra glanced at the microwave. “Kellie, please, not now.”
“That’s your problem, Saundra. You don’t ever want to talk about your marriage, not even to Moody.”
Saundra huffed. “Moody ran away – that’s my problem.”
“You both ran away. He ran physically, you emotionally. You never told Moody your feelings about him watching the games, did you?”
“That isn’t what bothered me, Kellie--”
“It was him ignoring you while watching them. I know.”
“You don’t know how it feels to be shrugged off,” Saundra said. “I tolerated it for years, and I’m expected to not be upset?”
“Upset or not, you should’ve talked to him as opposed to ignoring him in return.”
“Are you blaming me for Moody leaving?” Saundra crossed her arm over her chest.
“You don’t think your actions contributed to his departure a little?”
Saundra’s eyes darted around the room. “You’re defending him.”
“He never should’ve left,” Kellie said quickly and hesitated before she went on. “Years as a marriage counselor teach you a lot about what makes a relationship successful and what makes one fall apart. Communication is a huge factor.”
“That obviously isn’t on Moody’s list of priorities, Kellie, or else I think he would’ve called. Especially after I accused him of cheating, which I really don’t know if he did or not, but… I just don’t think he wants this marriage.”
“By your own logic, you don’t want the marriage either.”
Saundra paused. “I do if he does. I’m not going to be in a relationship where I’m not wanted.”
“You realize that your argument could very well be Moody’s argument, correct?” Kellie asked. “By your not calling him, you don’t seem to want him. But I know that’s not the case.”
Saundra looked down and placed her free hand on the counter. When she looked at the situation that way, she couldn’t help but agree.
“Saundra,” Kellie added, “your relationship should not rest solely on Moody’s shoulders. That’s too big a burden. This is your marriage too. After ten years, don’t let it just end.”
The microwave dinged. “My lunch is done.”
“Lunch is more important to you than talking with me, Saundra? You shut me out of your marriage for a long time and look where it’s gotten you. You’re currently in a bind, and you’re being reckless.”
“I’m not being reckless. I’m being cautious.”
“You are actually thinking about leaving Moody without even talking to him! You don’t consider that reckless?”
“I don’t…Kellie…” Saundra combed her fingers through her hair and gripped the back of her neck.
“I understand your concern, Saundra, I do. But you need to find out from Moody what he’s thinking.”
Saundra was frazzled. On one hand, she had Barbara – someone who was living with an uninterested husband – telling her to leave or she’d be unhappy. On the other hand, she had Kellie – the one person who exercised rationality and impartiality in all her advice – telling her to talk with Moody.
But what if Saundra asked Moody if he was losing interest in her and he lied? How would she know if he still wanted to be with her?
“Kellie?” Saundra asked, hearing nothing but her nephews chattering in the background.
“I’m still here,” Kellie answered.
“I’m scared.” Saundra blinked a few times. “I don’t think I know my husband anymore.”
~~~~
Tuesday, the 6th
(Part Two)
Moody hunched over the table with his arms folded and eyes drawn to the window of the Chinese restaurant.
“You really do miss her.” Jessica set her empty glass of water on the table and bit her lip.
“I do,” he affirmed
, gliding his eyes toward Jessica. What if Paul was right and spending time with her was only hurting his relationship with Saundra? He couldn’t see Jessica hoping his marriage would fail though.
Jessica glanced at both of their empty plates and grabbed her purse. “I have to go use the ladies’ room before we leave.” She swung her legs from beneath the table.
Once he saw her turn the corner, Moody dropped his face into his palms. How could he completely dismiss Paul’s opinion? Moody uncovered his face and stared back out the window.
Had he fooled himself into believing his lunches with Jessica were only for female interaction, when it was something more? He couldn’t understand why he was so loyal to Jessica and so willing to ignore Paul’s warnings. Paul was always a fair guy, and for him to threaten to throw him out…
How bad was Moody screwing things up? Hugely, according to Paul. But what Paul didn’t understand was that every time Moody had tried talking to Saundra he always got nothing in return.
Moody’s eyebrows perked up. That’s probably how Saundra felt when she tried talking to him.
“Ready?”
Moody looked up and saw Jessica approaching the table. He placed his fingertips on the table and stood. “I have to talk to Saundra.”
Her eyes widened and she spoke quickly. “Moody, I know this is hard on you, but I told you this worked for my uncle.”
Moody stared at her. “Your uncle?”
“Yes,” she said.
Moody looked down and took a deep breath. “You told me it was your cousin before.”
Her gaze wavered. “Did I?”
“Jessica, I’ve been following your advice for the past week. I remember what you told me.”
“I’m not perfect. It was a mistake.”
“Okay.” Moody brushed past her and walked to the register, wondering if that was an honest slip of the tongue or proof of dishonesty. He pulled out his wallet and thumbed out the correct amount of cash. He watched Jessica step outside the restaurant and onto the sidewalk, her shoulders slowly rising and falling.
When Moody joined Jessica outside, she froze mid-breath and looked at him with an apologetic smile.
“Sorry about that.” Moody stuck his hands in his pockets.