At Rob's house, I followed him around while he did chores, washing dishes, starting laundry. He made a frozen pizza for dinner. As a wolf, the only part of the pizza that looked any good was the sausage. When Rob finally settled on the couch, I sat awkwardly on the floor until he smiled at me with a look of welcome in his eyes.
“You can come up if you want. You’re in animal form anyway, so you know…” Okay, what did he mean by that? On the full moon he might like me well enough, but for the rest of the time, I would just be his pet. But I did understand. We could just be us this way.
I hesitated. Still, he looked so comfortable on the couch. I jumped to the spot where he made room and curled up against him, my head on his chest, thinking that usually animals only got the ends where the feet go.
We watched television together and I felt his heart beating strongly against my ear. Rob had fallen asleep, and the moment felt so good to me. Maybe wolves don’t cry, but I felt my eyes tear up. How long have I wanted to be right here in Rob’s arms, and here he was, available and affectionate, but only because I was an animal. It was like a bad joke. For years I longed to be a wolf and now I only wanted to be return to my normal self again.
I fell asleep with all of that longing bottled up inside me, murmuring of my desire to be human again.