I had to give Logan his due. He didn’t flinch at the word. “Maryanne.” He stepped toward her, and she jerked back, her eyes wide and glazed. She was agitated. Her skin looked clammy, and she was scratching at her arm constantly.
I didn’t know much about drugs, but I had a suspicion she was in withdrawal.
“Fucking bastard,” she snapped, stumbling away from him. “Logan. Logan. Oh my God, what did you bring him here for?” She glowered at Maia and then moved toward her.
As I shoved Maia behind me, Logan stepped in front of us. “Maryanne… when was your last hit?”
“Too fucking long. Too fucking long. I told that wee bitch to go and get Kells for Dom and me. Where’s my fucking money? Eh? Where is it, you wee cunt?”
“Watch it,” Logan warned, his tone dangerous, and Maia cowered against my shoulder.
“Who is Kells?” I asked Maia softly.
“Her dealer,” she whispered, and there was a rustling before I felt her press something into my hand.
I looked down at a wad of cash. “Logan,” I muttered. The idea of a mother sending her fifteen-year-old daughter to a drug dealer settled like oil in my stomach.
Logan glanced over his shoulder, and I held the money out to him. He took it, understanding what it was without my having to tell him. When he turned back to Maryanne, he said, “Is she mine? Did you lie to me?”
“I want my money!” Maryanne screeched.
“Is she mine?”
“Money!”
Logan threw it at her feet and grunted in disgust as she scrambled to pick it up.
“Give me your phone,” she begged as she stood up. “Mine needs to be charged and I can’t find my charger. Give me your phone.”
“So you can call your dealer? No way. Now, answer me.” He took a menacing step toward her, and she blinked up at him blankly. “Is Maia mine?”
“Give me your phone.” She pleaded again, scratching at her head. “Please. I’m fucked.” She stumbled over the coffee table, reaching for a bottle of vodka. “Kells said he would be here yesterday, but he never fucking came. He never fucking came.”
Logan turned to us, drawing my distraught gaze to his haggard face. “We’ll never get a straight answer out of her when she’s like this.” He looked over my shoulder to Maia. “I don’t know what to do. I can’t leave you here, but I can’t let you stay with me until we work out this paternity stuff. The only option is Social Services.”
“No.” Maia pushed away from me, backing up from us. “I’ve heard stories about it. Worse than this. Please. At least I know what to expect here.”
“Maia, it’s not all bad in foster care. It would just be temporary,” Logan tried to rationalize with her.
“No!” She covered her face, her shoulders shaking as she started to sob.
I don’t know what possessed me to speak up. Perhaps it was seeing Maia’s mother treat her as badly as my mother had treated me, but in a much worse environment. Or perhaps it was the carefully controlled mask Logan was wearing that slipped every now and then to show his fear. Or maybe it was just I was a decent person who couldn’t bear the thought of leaving a child to this. Or maybe I hadn’t slept in seventy-two hours and wasn’t thinking straight.
Maybe it was all of the above.
“I have a suggestion. Why —”
“My, where’s your phone?” Maryanne suddenly stumbled into the middle of us, reaching for Maia. She tugged at Maia’s wrists and then slapped her head before Logan could pull her off. He shoved her none-too-gently onto the sofa.
“And stay down,” he warned.
“Where’s your phone?” Maryanne screeched.
Maia wiped at her tearstained face. “I told you,” she whispered. “You smashed it a few weeks ago.”
It was time to move this along. “As I was saying, Maia, although it would seem Logan is your dad, we’re not one hundred percent sure about that. Surely you can see how inappropriate it would be for a grown man to live with a fifteen-year-old girl who isn’t family? However, I’d be happy to let you stay in my guest room until Logan can confirm the paternity.” I was shaking badly as I looked up at Logan, not sure I even really comprehended how much responsibility I was offering to take on here. “That way she’s close by but not living with you until you have the paternity results.”
He nodded slowly. “Aye, that might be… But what about school?”
“You’ll have to get Maryanne’s permission to enroll her at school in Edinburgh until you have legal claim.”
“She won’t even know I’m gone,” Maia murmured.
We heard a groan from the nearby bedroom, and at the widening of Maia’s eyes, I said, “Look, let’s iron this all out in the car. We should get out of here.”
Seeing sense in that, a subdued Logan led us out of the flat, and we all did our best to ignore the sound of retching coming from the sitting room as we left.
CHAPTER 6
I
f the silence had been awkward in the car, it was painful as we stood outside on our landing with Maia. Both she and Logan had been pensive the entire drive, internalizing whatever was going on in their heads. Me? I was trying not to have a panic attack.
“Maia, why don’t you go on inside.” I handed her my key. “Logan and I are just going to have a quick word, and then we’ll be right in.”
She glanced at Logan and then back to me, clearly worried.
“Go on. It’ll be fine,” I reassured her.
Nodding reluctantly, she turned and put the key in my door.
I looked at Logan, who was staring at me like I was a car coming toward him at a hundred miles per hour with my full-beam headlights on. I gestured to his door. “Let’s go in.”
Without a word he did as I asked, and I followed his heavy footsteps into his sitting room. He turned and faced me, hands on his narrow hips. “What the fuck am I going to do?”
“Logan —”
“I can’t take care of a teenager.”
“Logan —”
“No, Grace, you don’t understand.” He swallowed hard, and I found myself struck dumb by the fear in him. All this time I thought Logan MacLeod feared nothing, was intimidated by no one, was somehow untouchable. It was unnerving to see him vulnerable. I didn’t like it. For some absurd reason, it made me want to fix his situation. Which was probably why I was in this position. He glanced away, running a hand over his short hair. “A few years ago, aye, maybe I could have done this. But I’m not that man anymore.”
That’s when I think I understood.
Logan MacLeod had been in prison. So who was he before that? And how much had it really changed him?
“It must have been difficult,” I said. “Being punished, treated like a criminal for merely protecting your family.”
His eyes hardened. “Don’t. Don’t you do that. Don’t you do what she’s doing.” He pointed to the wall that adjoined my flat. “Don’t glorify the situation.”
He wanted my bad opinion? Well, that didn’t make sense. I remembered how he jumped down my throat when we first met, and I knew now that he thought I was aware of his time in prison. Back then he misunderstood and he was pissed off at me for judging him and thinking badly of him. Now he wanted me to think badly of him?
Confused, I shrugged. “I guess I really don’t know what the situation was. But I do know what Maia’s situation is, and I’m fairly certain she’s your daughter, Logan. She deserves better than what she’s got. Right now better is you.”
He squeezed his eyes closed and kind of collapsed on his armchair. After taking a minute, he looked up at me. “I could call my parents and ask them to take her in.”
“No, you bloody will not!”
I jumped, startled as Shannon stormed into the sitting room, her eyes sparking with anger. My eyes rounded slightly at the sight of the man following her into the room. I almost blushed, he was that good-looking. No one should be that good-looking. Although much like Logan in the scruffy, tattooed department,
his masculine beauty was bordering on perfection. He was the kind of man I usually got tongue-tied around. He gave me a nod of acknowledgment before settling behind a very unamused Shannon. He put his hands on her shoulders and squeezed lightly, silently offering her support.
“Shannon, what the hell?” Logan said.
“If you didn’t want me here, you shouldn’t have called me to tell me about your long-lost daughter.”
I shot Logan a questioning look.
He sighed. “When I stopped for petrol, I phoned her.”
Shannon’s eyes softened when our gazes met. “Hi, Grace. Thanks for being here. This” – she patted the arm of the supermodel behind her – “is my fiancé, Cole.”
“Nice to meet you.” He held out his hand and I noted the leather bracelets and aviator watch he was wearing, along with the chunky silver ring on his middle finger. He was that guy. Cool, tattooed, can-pull-off-man-jewelry guy. I tried not to blush and failed as I shook his hand.
“Nice to meet you too.” I smiled shyly and turned quickly back to Logan.
His eyes were narrowed on me.
“Back to what you just said,” Shannon snapped, dragging her brother’s intimidating gaze off me to her. “Like hell are you sending your own kid to our parents. You’d do a much better job yourself and you know it.”
Logan got to his feet. “Since when are you anti-parents again? First you ask me to walk you down the aisle; now you think I’m better parenting material than them? I thought we were over this.”
“Over this?” Shannon whispered, and something in her voice, in her eyes, made me tense. Cole heard it too and pulled her back against him protectively. “They abandoned me when I needed them the most. They blamed me for what happened. I may play nice to keep this family together, but I will never forget what they did. And neither should you. Is that really what you want for your own daughter, Logan?”
Suddenly I found myself finding kinship with another MacLeod girl in less than twenty-four hours. I didn’t know the details, but I was smart. I could put it together. It sounded like their parents blamed her for her own assault, for whatever asinine reason. But I’d been there. I got it.
I wanted to reach out a hand and tell her so.
Luckily for Shannon, she had the gorgeous Cole at her back, and the fierceness in his eyes as he held her told me he would take down anyone who tried to hurt her. I felt an ache in my chest and realized sadly that it was envy. I slapped my conscience for the unjust feeling. If anyone deserved happiness with a good man, it was someone who had gone through what she had.
“I’m not saying they’re perfect,” Logan said, appeasement in his tone. “But they did raise us. I’m not ready for this, sweetheart. I’m just trying to get my life back together. I’m not set up to be a dad to a teenage girl.”
“Then you need to get ready,” Shannon advised, her chin jutting out stubbornly.
Logan scowled. “That’s easy for you to fucking say.”
“Hey.” Cole’s voice held warning, as did his eyes.
Logan wasn’t fazed. “Don’t ‘hey’ me. You both waltz in here and it’s obvious you’ve got grand plans for me as a dad, but I’m trying to tell you I can’t do it.”
“Who are you?” Shannon jerked away from Cole to get in her brother’s face. “Because I don’t recognize this guy.”
“Don’t come into my house and start,” Logan warned softly. “You’ve known about this five seconds and you’ve clearly not given it proper thought.”
Shannon didn’t even flinch as her brother towered over her, all bristling and angry. I was so impressed by her. “I know what you told me on the phone. I know that there’s a ninety-nine-point-nine-percent chance that this girl is yours, that she looks like me, that she’s my niece, and that we’ve missed out on being there for her for fifteen years. I know she’s been stuck living with a junkie of a mother, and I know there’s a possibility that she’s been through hell.” She touched his arm, pleading. “She deserves a chance. You both do. And we deserve a chance to have a say in where she stays. She’s my family too.”
Logan jerked away. “You’re not even listening to me.”
“Logan —”
Before I could stop myself, I stepped in, cutting her off. “There’s a greater issue here.”
All three of them stared at me as if I had all the answers. I tried not to turn red with embarrassment under such expectation. “The greater issue for Maia is being with her father.” I locked eyes with a resistant Logan. “Maia chose you, Logan. If you abandon her when she needs you… Believe me” – I blinked back tears, remembering my own abandonment – “she’ll never get over the rejection.”
The room was still as my words sank in, and while I was unsure of Shannon’s and Cole’s thoughts, I felt like I knew where Logan’s had gone. The questions in his eyes.
He was wondering if I’d been abandoned.
And it was almost like he cared.
I was confused by the overwhelming sense of connection that passed between us. For a moment it was like we were the only two people in the room.
Shannon cleared her throat, and I shrugged off Logan’s intense scrutiny as he turned to his sister. She nodded at him. Logan glanced over at Cole. He nodded too. “You know she’s right.”
Logan took a deep breath. “Right. Well, looks like a lifestyle change is in order.” He looked around his sitting room. “I’ll need to do something with this place, turn the second room into an actual bedroom. And fuck… I’ll need to talk to Braden. I can’t work those hours anymore.”
“You know he’ll do anything he can to help you out,” Cole assured him.
“I know.” Logan looked at me. “I also know you offered to let Maia stay with you until I have the paternity and the legal stuff sorted out, but you don’t have to do that. I get that we were all caught up in the moment, but it’s too much to ask.”
“She could stay with us,” Shannon piped up, looking excited by the prospect. Cole nodded his agreement, a small, tender smile curling the corner of his mouth.
It occurred to me then that they were giving me an out. What did I know about looking after a teenage girl, anyway? And one who was connected to Logan MacLeod? Did I really want to get any more involved with my neighbor?
No. I did not.
I stared at the wall, thinking of the girl on the other side of it.
“I really don’t mind.” The words just poured out of me before I could stop them. “It means Maia is right next door to you, so you can see her anytime you want while you get it worked out. And I think…” I offered him a confused shrug. “I don’t know. It sounds presumptuous, but…” I trailed off, not knowing how to explain what I was feeling.
Logan did. “Maia’s attached herself to Grace.” His gaze was soft on me, and I found myself flushing. He’d never looked at me like that before. “She’s comfortable with her. I think she feels safe with her.”
Although Shannon looked disappointed, she smiled through it. “Then Maia should stay with Grace for now. I’d still like to meet her though.”
“Maybe tomorrow, sweetheart. Let’s give her some time to adjust.” Logan reached for his sister and pulled her in for a hug. “Thanks for being here.”
Shannon hugged him back. “That… Knowing that’s the right thing for Maia right now… That’s how I know you can do this. You have been there for me more than Dad ever was, Logan. You can do this. It’s who you are.”
His arms tightened around her and I felt tears prick my eyes. I brushed them away quickly, but Cole caught me. He grinned cheekily at me.
“What?” I huffed, drawing Logan’s gaze as I wiped at the tears. “I’m really bloody tired, okay? It makes me emotional.”
They all grinned at me now, and I rolled my eyes, turning away from them. I looked at them again only to say good-bye as they were leaving. Cole was almost out the door and Shannon had just passed me when she abruptly turned around and came at me.
I tensed, relaxing only whe
n she put her arms around me.
“Thank you.”
I hugged her back. “You’re very welcome.”
She pulled away and smiled. Hope glimmered in her beautiful eyes. “This is exactly where he was meant to be,” she whispered, and walked away before I could ask her to explain.
The door shut behind her and Cole.
“What did she say?” Logan said.
I shook my head. “Just thank you.”
He didn’t look convinced, but he dropped it. “What now?”
“Come over.” I gestured to the door. “I’ll make you and Maia dinner.”
He did that staring-at-me-intently thing again. “Why are you doing this? Is it for Maia, or for me?”
Blame it on my exhaustion or temporary insanity, but I found myself confessing a little of my story to him. “Because to a certain extent I’ve been where Maia is. I know what she’s going through. There was no parental figure there for me, trying. You’re going to try, and I admire that. I’d like to help you both, I guess.”
Logan was quiet so long I was starting to feel stupid for revealing that about myself.
“We better go next doo—”
“You’re a good woman, Grace Farquhar,” Logan interrupted solemnly. “I won’t forget this.”
Not sure how to respond to his words or the way they pressed down on my chest in painful pleasure, I smirked. “Um… you might not think that once you taste my cooking.”
Maia was standing in my sitting room before the bookshelves that lined the full length of one wall.
She was so still and tense that Logan and I could tell something wasn’t quite right even with her back to us.
“Maia, are you okay?” Logan said gruffly.
“Maia?”
She looked over her shoulder at us, tears in her eyes. “You have so many books.”
Confused, I nodded. “I do like to read.”
“But it’s like a library. You own all these books.”
“Yes, I do.”
“And you have really nice furniture.” She gestured to the room.
I looked around at my place, drinking it in as if from her perspective. I took pride in my home, not just because it was who I was, but because I worked from home and so I liked to be surrounded by nice things. My style was shabby chic. Everything was pretty but comfortable. Lots of cushions and throws and books and artwork.