“Don’t mind if we do.” Logan brushed past me and began searching cupboards for plates. He pulled out a couple and pushed one toward Maia. They both began loading snacks onto them.
I chuckled. “Was that cheeseburger not very filling?”
Logan threw me a look out of the corner of his eyes that simply said, “I’m a man.”
Maia giggled and bit into a sausage roll. I caught her eye and she shrugged. “I’m just really hungry.”
“That’s because you’re my —” Logan cut off abruptly, suddenly looking very uncomfortable.
We were silent, all knowing he was about to say “daughter.”
“Hey, stop hogging the food,” Aidan said loudly, breaking the awkward silence. “I’ve just come from training, you know. I’m starving.”
Logan jumped on Aidan’s offer of a save and started asking questions about rugby. Aidan even managed to get Maia asking him questions.
When Aidan was leaving a little while later, I threw my arms around him and hugged him tight. He’d reminded me today why I adored him. “I love you to bits.” I squeezed him.
“Love you, too, Grace,” he said gruffly, squeezing me back. Reluctantly, I let him go, and he slipped quietly out of the flat.
“He an ex?”
I spun around, startled by Logan’s appearance in the hallway.
I shook my head, because technically he wasn’t really. One time didn’t count. “No. Aidan’s like family. And he’s engaged to a woman he’s madly in love with.”
Logan processed this and then shrugged. “Nice guy. Glad to know there’s someone looking out for you.”
“Thank you,” I said, surprised by his comment.
He cleared his throat. “Aye, anyway… I wanted your opinion on something.”
“Shoot?”
“Shannon wants to meet Maia tonight, but I’m not sure it’s a good idea yet.”
I loved that he was so concerned for her feelings. I walked toward him and patted his arm reassuringly. “Trust your instincts, Logan.”
“I’m thinking we should wait until the paternity results come in.”
“I would agree.”
He nodded. “I’ll call her.” I walked away, but he said my name, stopping me in my tracks. I glanced over my shoulder in question. “Thanks for everything.”
Once more the gratitude in his eyes affected me. In fact, I was hit with a wave of attraction so big I could only mumble “you’re welcome” before I had to walk away from him. I closed my eyes and prayed to God Aidan’s concerns were unfounded.
This thing with Logan and Maia… Would I end up getting hurt?
What on earth had I let myself in for?
CHAPTER 8
L
ogan stood on my doorstep the next morning holding a padded envelope. His features were tight with anxiety. “The paternity kit arrived.”
I stepped aside to let him past. “It will all be okay,” I promised.
He didn’t respond. He was too focused on getting to Maia. I followed him into the kitchen, where we both stopped at the sight of Maia sitting in her new pajamas, scooping up spoonfuls of cereal with one hand while she held a book from my collection with the other. Her nose was practically pressed to the pages.
I’d discovered that Maia was like me in more ways than one. If I got engrossed in a book, the world around me ceased to exist. This morning, as Maia wandered into the kitchen with a young-adult novel in her hand, she’d barely grunted a “good morning” to me while I poured her a bowl of cereal and a glass of fresh orange juice.
“Maia,” Logan said. When Maia didn’t respond, he looked at me, his eyebrows raised.
“She’s reading,” I said, as if that explained everything. Logan stared blankly at me. I sighed and wandered over to Maia and gently plucked the book out of her hand.
She gazed up at me in confusion.
“Logan’s here,” I said.
“Oh.” She whipped around on the stool and smiled at him. “Mornin’.”
Logan gave her a bemused smile in return. “Good book, is it?”
“Hmm?” She frowned before understanding cleared her expression. “Oh, yeah. I borrowed it from Grace. It’s cool.”
“Well, I’m sorry to disturb your reading, sweetheart.” Logan slid onto the stool next to her, and I set about making him a coffee to help bolster him through this huge moment. “But the paternity kit arrived. I need you to take a swab of the inside of your cheek so I can send it off for the test.”
Maia’s spoon fell into her bowl with a clatter. “Okay. So… how long will it take? You know, for the results?”
“I’ll send it off today. The company I’m using has a forty-eight-hour turnaround, so we’ll know really soon.”
I watched her closely as I slid Logan his coffee. She had paled considerably.
“Maia, it’s going to be okay,” I said.
She looked up at me with tears in her eyes. “I should probably brush my teeth first.” She took the plastic packet Logan was holding out to her with the swab inside it. As soon as she disappeared out of the room, Logan took a deep gulp of coffee.
“Thanks,” he murmured, setting the mug down. “This is…” He glanced back at the door. “She looked terrified. She was practically crying. I… What’s going on? I thought she wanted this.”
“Exactly.” I slid onto the stool Maia had just vacated. “Logan, she’s not scared that you’re her dad. She’s scared you’re not.”
He thought about this, and slowly the muscles in his clenched jaw relaxed.
“What about you?” I said. “How are you feeling?”
“Whatever happens happens.” He shrugged.
“Logan,” I warned. “Macho bullshit does not fly in this flat.”
He raised an eyebrow at me. “Macho bullshit?”
“Yes, macho bullshit. I can smell it a mile away.”
He looked into his mug of coffee like it had all the answers. “There have been a lot of ups and downs for me these last few years. I’ve learned to deal with those. I can learn to deal with this. It’s a lifestyle change.” He shot me a wry look. “I had to break things off with the American.”
Ignoring the weird sense of satisfaction I felt at his announcement, I tried to be nonchalant. “Why?”
“It wasn’t serious between us, and right now it’s a distraction. I have to focus on Maia.” The violet in his eyes darkened. “C’mon, Grace. We both know this paternity test is going to tell us this kid is mine. My life as it was is over. I make this commitment to that wee girl in there, then I better mean business. What kind of arsehole would subject their kid to the fucking carousel of women I’ve had in and out of my life these past few months?”
I didn’t know what to say to make him feel better, because the truth was that life as he knew it was over. I got up to refill his coffee, and as I passed him, I squeezed his shoulder. “You’re one of the good ones, Logan MacLeod.”
All those moments would be lost in time… like tears in rain.
That sentence was still bugging me. I chewed my lip, wondering what the hell my fascination was with the damn sentence. While Maia seemed perfectly content to curl up in my guest room reading her book for the day, I was able to get on with my work. This manuscript was due back to the author in a few days, and I was going over all the bits I’d highlighted to return to before sending the edits back to her.
The sound of my front door slamming shut jerked me out of the manuscript.
“It’s just me!” Logan called from the front of the flat.
“Back here!”
My eyes darted around my bedroom. Thankfully, I didn’t have any embarrassing pieces of underwear on show. Which was good, because Logan sauntered right in and came to stand behind me with his hands on the back of my computer chair.
“How did it go?” I said, craning my neck to look up at him.
He was too busy frowning at my computer screen to answer me. “‘All those moments would be lost in time… like tears
in rain.’ Why do you have that highlighted?”
I shut my laptop. “I have it highlighted because something about it bugs me.”
“Did you Google it?”
“No.” I frowned. “Why?”
“Because it’s a quote from Blade Runner.”
Recognition jolted through me. “Oh my God, it bloody well is.” I stared up at him, annoyed. “Ugh. The last thing I need to deal with right now is an author trying to plagiarize cult classic films.” He smirked and then stepped back, taking a seat on the end of my bed. I pushed away thoughts of my author and what I was going to do to deal with it – after all, it could be accidental. Hopefully. “Logan, what happened at New Register House?”
He heaved a sigh and reached into his jacket. He pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to me. It was a copy of Maia’s birth certificate. I scanned it. “Logan. This… You are named as the father here.” I looked up at him, thrilled for him. “You realize this means you have legal rights now – don’t you?”
“It does?”
We turned to find Maia leaning in my doorway unsurely.
Logan nodded at her. “It does.”
“That’s good, right?”
“It’s good, sweetheart.” He shot a look at me, and I had a feeling he’d come in here to talk it out with me, to vent perhaps, but he definitely was not going to do that with Maia here. From what I’d already witnessed of his thoughtfulness around her, he wouldn’t want her to think he was troubled. He clapped his hands on his knees and stood up. “Why don’t you and I go out for a bit before my shift tonight? Catch a movie or something? We can let Grace get on with her work.”
Maia’s eyes lit up. “Yeah, okay. That sounds good.” She gave me a little wave and hurried off to get her shoes and jacket.
I looked over at Logan, who hovered in my doorway, gazing back at me. “This will all be okay.”
His mouth turned down at the corners before he said, “If you say it enough times maybe you’ll make it true.”
I managed to get only a couple of hours of work in and did not get much done in that time. I kept forcing myself to focus on the work, but Logan’s face flashed across my eyes more times than I could count. He was swimming against a stormy tide, and all I wanted to do was reach out and help him to shore. But my reassurances didn’t seem to be helping. They just felt empty.
I was jolted from my musings and my work by my phone ringing. It was Chloe. Calling to berate me.
Aidan had told her everything.
“Are you nuts?”
Yesterday I would have said no. Today… “I might be.”
Chloe tutted on the other end of the line. “I knew you had feelings for this guy.”
I went straight into denial mode. “Feelings. Pfft. I barely know him. I’m doing this for Maia.”
“Who you also barely know. I need to meet this Maia.”
“No,” I snapped, my mother bear instincts kicking in. I attempted to reel in those instincts, softening my voice when I continued. “You want to meet, Maia. There’s a difference. I can’t let you meet her right now, Chloe. Not just yet. That kid is going through a complete life change. I don’t want to overwhelm her any more than she already is, especially not with my overly suspicious but well-meaning family members.”
“Precisely,” Chloe said. “I am your family. It is my duty to make sure you’re not being taken for a ride.”
“Yes, Aidan said the same thing.”
“Speaking of… he got to meet Maia.”
“We were practically ambushed. Plus, no offense, sweetie, but Aidan is much more diplomatic than you.”
She sniffed haughtily. “I’ll try not to let that hurt my feelings.”
“Chloe.” I fought to find the words to explain. “You have this big personality, and Maia… well… doesn’t. And she’s scared and —”
“I get it,” she interrupted with an exaggerated sigh. “But if you get hurt in this, I’m cracking some heads.”
I chuckled. “I will warn all involved parties.”
“You think I’m joking, but I’m not, Grace. You, more than anyone I know, deserve kindness and respect. If I get even a whiff of ‘user’ off these people, I’m stepping in.”
“Do you think I’d help them if they were those kind of people?”
“I guess not, but —”
“Chloe.” I stopped her from arguing further. “I love you.”
She sighed again. “Love you, too. Call me when it’s safe for me to intrude.”
I laughed, feeling more grateful for her than ever. “I will do that.”
We hung up and I stared at my phone, wishing I could find a better way to reassure my friends that I was okay and that I wasn’t making a mistake helping Maia and Logan out.
“Your friends are worried.”
I jumped, startled. I whirled around and found Maia standing in my bedroom doorway, wearing her jacket and shoes. She’d obviously returned from the movies with Logan. There was no sound of him, so I assumed he was in his flat, getting ready for work.
“Maia.” I held a hand to my chest, willing my heart rate to slow. “Sweetie, it’s rude to eavesdrop.”
She threw her shoulders back defiantly. “I heard my name.” And just as quickly as she displayed it, that defiance wilted right out of her. “Your friends don’t want me here, do they?”
This was a girl who’d felt wanted by no one for so long. This was not a small issue to her. I gestured to my chair, and she slowly made her way to it. Once she was sitting down, I sat across from her on the end of my bed.
Maia stared up at me with those sad violet eyes of hers, and I wanted nothing more than to take away all the shadows from them. “My friends are just looking out for me, just like I’m trying to look out for you. They’ll understand why I’m doing all this as soon as they get to know you.”
She frowned. “But you don’t really know me.”
“True.” I grinned at her bluntness. “But sometimes we meet people and we just click with them. There’s a connection and you can’t explain it. It’s just there.”
“And we’ve clicked?” Maia said, eyes now lightening a little with obvious hope.
I felt this painful little ache in my chest for her. “Yes, we have.” Something unsettling occurred to me. “Haven’t you clicked with a friend – friends – before? You haven’t spoken about anyone you might be leaving behind.”
Maia suddenly looked very weary. “Friends want to know everything about you, and I couldn’t tell them about Maryanne or bring them back to the flat to hang out. It was just easier to be a loner than to deal with the questions. It did me no good trying to hide it, though, because kids from the area know about Maryanne and they told everyone. There are very few people who want to hang out with the daughter of a junkie.”
The depth of Maia’s loneliness hit me.
It choked me.
It made me want to shake some bloody sense into her wretched mother.
More than anything, however, I was in awe of Maia. She’d had no support, no encouragement, from anyone, as far as I could tell, and yet somehow she had dug deep and found the courage to come here and confront Logan. She was only fifteen and she’d taken the reins of her destiny in hand. I didn’t have that courage at her age.
I felt tears prick my eyes, proud of her in a way I couldn’t explain. “You are a remarkable and very special person, Maia MacLeod. Do not let anyone tell you different. And whatever happens next, never ever be ashamed to let anyone know you. You are worth knowing.”
Maia gazed at me, eyes round with surprise. And just like that she burst into tears.
I got up and pulled her out of the chair, and I held her tight as she sobbed against me. It took everything within me not to cry along with her.
That’s when I realized that this kid had gotten deep under my skin in a very short time. My life had changed too. Because I knew that no matter what happened with Logan, I wouldn’t let my connection with Maia break. If she needed family,
I wanted to be that for her, just like Chloe and Aidan had stepped up to be mine.
CHAPTER 9
“M
aia, I’m your dad.” Logan stood in my sitting room, holding up a single piece of paper, staring down at Maia with a careful expression as he imparted his life-altering news.
It was the morning after Maia had cried in my arms, and I’d just made her a cup of tea after our breakfast together. Logan had let himself into my flat and without further ado announced the results of the paternity test.
Maia’s cup trembled in her hand, and I reached over to gently take it away from her. “What does this mean now?” she said. The color had risen in her cheeks, her whole face bright with expectation.
Logan didn’t keep her waiting. “It means that between this and the birth certificate, I have legal rights as your father. I’m going to enforce those rights. I’m going to your mum’s today to tell her you’re moving in with me. If she wants to discuss it, we will. If she wants to fight it, she can, but she will have a fight on her hands.”
“Really?” Maia whispered, almost as if she didn’t quite believe it.
“Maia, she kept you from me for fifteen years.” His eyes were hard with determination. “And as far as I can see, she’s not done right by you. It’s my turn to look after you. I can’t promise you I’ll be very good at it, but I can promise I’ll try my very best to make the next fifteen, thirty, fifty years better than the last fifteen.”
As I tried to blink back my tears at his speech, Maia launched herself out of her chair and straight at Logan. He stood stunned for a moment as she wrapped her arms around his waist and burrowed her face against his chest. Seconds later he slid his arms around her and held her tight.
I had to look away so I wouldn’t turn into a blubbering mess.
“Grace.”
I glanced up at them again to find Maia had stepped away from her dad, looking almost embarrassed by her outburst of affection. Logan noticed and put his arm around her shoulders and drew her in to his side. She smiled shyly up at him, but he’d turned to me so he didn’t notice the adoration he was receiving. “Are you okay to let Maia stay with you while I turn the second room into Maia’s room?”