A car horn has Dylan pocketing his phone. “That’s the guys.”
“And Micky and Amanda!” Lucy says, clapping.
“What are you pretty girls planning on doing tonight?” he asks me.
“So hot,” Lucy whispers.
I laugh. “Not much. Probably talking books.”
“No!” Heidi stomps her foot. “Let’s do girl stuff. Like… Oh my god! Makeovers!”
“We’re not twelve,” I tell her, the same time Mom says, “Yes!” She points to her. “I like your thinking, Heidi. I’ve been wanting to makeover Riley for years.”
“Don’t you change a thing about her,” Dylan says, blocking me from their view.
Lucy sighs. “So hot.”
He turns to me. “Walk me out?”
I take his hand and lead him to the bedroom, where he grabs his bag, and then out of the house, meeting Micky and Amanda on the driveway carrying sleeping bags.
If the guys get to go on a boys’ night out to some cabin in the woods, why couldn’t we have a girls’ night in?
“Hey, Riley,” Jake shouts, waving and grinning like an idiot as he pulls Cameron out of the trunk of his car. Logan and Jake are dressed in black, war paint smeared on their cheeks.
Cameron groans as he finds his feet, his hands tied behind his back, his mouth duct taped and his eyes blindfolded.
“What the hell?” I whisper.
“Quack quack!” Logan yells, ripping the tape from Cameron’s mouth.
Cameron curses and starts kicking Logan’s legs as soon as the blindfold is off him.
“Why are you quacking?” I yell walking down the path toward them.
“Hey Ry,” Dylan says, stopping on the sidewalk. I turn around in time to see him reveal a jar of sugar from behind his back.
“What is that?”
He smiles. “I wanted to give you some sugar.”
I take the jar off him. “Huh?”
Then his arms are around my waist, pulling me toward him. He smiles, right before he dips his head, his mouth warm and soft and wet against mine.
My body melts into his, one arm around his neck, the other too busy holding onto the jar. The force of his kiss has me bending backwards, gasping into his mouth. I smile against his lips as he slowly pulls away.
“Have a good night,” he says, releasing me completely.
“Wait.” I grab his hand. “Did you just tell me you wanted to give me some sugar and then kissed me?”
He laughs, his blue eyes bright against the evening sun. “Yes, Riley. I did.”
“Such a grandpa joke.”
“You love it.” He starts to walk backward, his smile getting wider. “And you love me.”
“I do.”
“And I’m madly in love with you, Riley Hudson.” He stops in his tracks, scans me from head to toe, before running back to me. His hands go to my face, cupping my cheeks and tilting my head up. “Hey, when I get back, maybe we can go away for the night? It’ll be all romantic and stuff. Hearts, flowers, the works.” He presses his lips to mine again. Just once.
I flatten my palms on his chest and look up at him. “I don’t want hearts and flowers, Dylan.”
“No?”
“I want your heart and soul.”
“Well, you already own that.” He smiles before turning around, leaving me standing in my front yard, my smile wide, my heart full and my future walking away from me.
I go to speak, but Cam beats me to it. “Hey everyone! Dylan’s got a boner!”
* * *
Dylan: How’s it going?
Riley: Good. You there yet?
It’s a dumb question. They only left a half hour ago. Still, it hasn’t stopped me checking the phone, checking the time, waiting to see which one of us would crack first. Luckily, it was him. And lucky for me, his texting has gotten a lot better since he started talking more with Mikey.
Dylan: Nope. Another hour or so.
Riley: Are you having fun?
Dylan: Not as much fun as I would with you.
Riley: You left me hanging, Banks.
Dylan: That was the plan. Keep you wanting more.
Riley: Your plan worked.
Dylan: Oh yeah?
Riley: Yep. Text me when you get there, okay? Be safe. The girls are yelling at me to get off the phone.
Dylan: Okay. I miss you.
Riley: Me too.
Dylan: I love you.
Riley: I love you, too.
Dylan: Riley?
Riley: Dylan?
Dylan: Nothing. I just love you.
* * *
Dylan: We just got to the cabin.
Riley: Thanks for letting me know.
Dylan: You’re welcome. Riley, you know I love the way you are, right?
Riley: Yes. Why?
Dylan: I just don’t want you thinking you need to change the way you look. I think you’re real pretty but if you want to do something then I don’t mind. I was just kidding with what I said.
Riley: You own my heart, Banks.
Dylan: And the rest? I like that spot right behind your ear. The one that makes you squirm. And your ass too. And your tits.
Riley: Lol! You were doing so well! This taking it slow thing must be hard for you.
Dylan: I’m always hard for you.
Riley: I’ll fix that when you get back. Maybe on that overnight trip you mentioned?
Dylan: I’ll steal Jake’s fucking car and come back right now. I’ll book it online. You can do that, right?
Riley: Omg. Such a guy.
Dylan: I have to go set Logan’s dick on fire. I’ll call you later.
Riley: WHAT!
I look up from my phone to see five sets of eyes watching me. We’re sitting in a circle on the floor. I have no idea why. “What?” I ask, shrugging. “I miss him.”
Amanda shakes her head. “It’s one night, Ry.”
“By the way, Dylan’s about to set Logan’s dick on fire.”
“What?” Mom says, spitting her wine out of her mouth. She was going to make it an alcohol free night but I told her about the book clubs I’d hosted and the drinking that went on. I didn’t have an issue with it. She shouldn’t either. Besides, it’s one night.
One night. Five friends. One mom. Pajamas. Food. Candy. And, apparently, one Drunk Lucy. “Ms. Hudson, if I ever have children and look like you at your age I’ll be one happy fucking whore.”
Kayla giggles. “Sorry, Ms. Hudson. Lucy curses like a sailor when she’s drunk.”
“Call me Holly…” Mom says, “…and bitch can say whatever the fuck she wants.”
“Mom!”
“Let me be young and careless, Riley. Just one night.” She pours another glass of wine. “Besides, you can’t talk to me about being inappropriate, sweetheart. I’m in the bedroom next door and the walls are thin.”
“Mom!”
“Oh yeah,” Lucy says. “I bet you guys have been going at it like rabbits since his cast came off.”
I shake my head. “No.”
“Bullshit,” Mom says. “I hear everything.”
“We haven’t had sex,” I tell them, like I’m on the stand and pleading innocence.
Mom rolls her eyes. “No woman makes the noises you make on foreplay alone.”
I scoff. “That’s because you don’t know Dylan.”
“Gross,” Mom says, her nose in the air.
“Seriously?” Amanda asks. “You guys haven’t since…”
“Nope. We mess around and do other stuff but not sex.”
“Why not?” Heidi says.
“Because we kind of rushed it at the beginning. I mean, we had sex before we were even together and—”
“You did?” Mom cuts in.
I smirk. “Right on that kitchen counter.”
“Riley!” she squeals.
And we crack up laughing.
“So Dylan didn’t want to wait at the start?” Heidi asks.
“Uh oh,” Mikayla murmurs, chugging her wi
ne like she’s preparing for a showdown.
“No.”
“Huh,” Heidi says. “It took forever to get him to want to have sex with me.”
I gag.
She laughs. “Sorry. It’s just strange.”
Lucy chimes in. “Dylan was a virgin when you guys were dating so…”
“You weren’t a virgin?” I ask.
Heidi shakes her head.
I ask, “How many guys were you with before D?”
“One.”
“Who?”
The girls look at Amanda.
“Gross,” she says.
“So wait!” Mom throws her hand in the air. “Riley, you had sex on my counter?”
I nod.
Now she gags. “Gross.” Then she looks at Heidi. “And you’ve slept with two of the boys in the group?”
Heidi raises her hand. “Yes, Ma’am. But Logan and I never really dated, we just… you know. Besides, now I’m dating a guy who asked Riley out.”
Mom shakes her head and points between us. “And you’re amicable?”
I shrug. “As long as she keeps her hands off D, I’m good.”
“Wow.” Mom’s eyes widen. “Riley, you’re a lot nicer than I am. If my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend was even around, let alone in the same room, I’d be ripping out her hair and slapping the shit out of her.”
Lucy cackles. “You’re a woman of my own heart, Holly.”
“Right on,” Mom says, high fiving her.
My phone sounds and the girls moan. “Leave it, Ry,” Amanda pleads.
I laugh. “It’s Skype, though. No one’s messaged me on Skype since Dylan’s been back.”
I open the app, my breath catching when I see who it’s from. “Dave?” I whisper.
“O’Brien?” Mom asks.
I nod slowly, focused on the screen. “He sent a video.”
“How?” Lucy asks.
I read the message out loud. “Hey Riley. It’s Mike. I just turned on Davey’s phone and saw that he never sent this to you. Thought you’d like it.”
“Play it,” Mom says.
“Okay.”
They gather around as I stare at the phone, wondering what it could possibly be. I’d spoken to Dave a little while he was there, but he’d never sent a video before.
“Hey, Banks,” Dave says behind the camera.
Dylan’s lying on a bed, his hands behind his head. It looks like they’re in a tent but there doesn’t seem to be anyone else in the room.
“What?” Dylan answers.
“What are you thinking about?
Dylan doesn’t respond.
Dave laughs. “Stupid question. Riley, right?”
“Always Riley.”
“You miss her?”
He moves one hand and rests it on his chest, never once looking over at Dave. “That’s another stupid question.”
“What do you miss most?”
For a long time, Dylan doesn’t answer. Finally, “Are you comfortable, Dave?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, with who you are… around your family and friends. Are you comfortable?”
Dave chuckles. “Have you fucking met me, man? If I wasn’t comfortable with myself, you think I’d be this much of an idiot? I don’t give a fuck what people think. I am who I am.”
“You are who you are,” Dylan mumbles.
“So what’s up? Why are you thinking about it?”
“I don’t know,” Dylan breathes out. “I was just thinking that I wasn’t, you know? My entire life I don’t think I really fit in anywhere. Even growing up I felt distant from my dad and brother… I think because of what happened to my mom. Not that I carried guilt because of it. I didn’t blame myself for her death or anything but I kind of felt like they were privy to something that I wasn’t. When I was a kid I found it hard to make friends, and when I did I still kind of felt like an outsider, you know? All through school, it was the same, until I changed high schools and it got a little better, but still. I was never really comfortable enough to be myself.”
“I’ve never heard Dylan say so much,” Lucy whispers and we all shush her.
“And then?” Dave asks.
Dylan shrugs. “And then I met Riley.”
I gasp, my hand covering my mouth as my heart skips a beat. Mom places her hand on my shoulder, comforting me.
“Riley,” Dave repeats, like my name has so much more meaning that just my name.
“I don’t know, man,” Dylan says, “I don’t know if it’s because I met her at my lowest point and she was accepting of that or…”
“Or what?”
Dylan exhales loudly, both hands on his chest now. “Sometimes she gives me these looks that terrify me.”
“Like she’s going to stab you in your sleep?” Dave asks.
Dylan laughs. “No. Like her world begins and ends with me and I’m scared that I’m going to do something one day and she won’t look at me the same.”
“Oh my god,” I whisper, a sob caught in my throat.
“But… you’re just being yourself around her, right? Like, who you really are,” Dave says.
Dylan nods. “I guess.”
“So why are you scared?”
“Because I never want that feeling to go away.”
“How do you think you look at her?” Dave asks.
“I don’t know,” Dylan mumbles, deep in thought.
“Well, how do you hope she sees you?”
“I hope she knows I love her.”
“Given.”
Dylan sighs. “I hope she sees that she changed me, you know? That it wasn’t just me who helped her get through struggles. I hope she knows that there isn’t a single second I’m away from her when she’s not on my mind. Even when I’m with her, I’m always thinking about her. I think about our future and everything we’re still yet to do. I want her by my side for all of it. She’s…” He chuckles lightly, “…she’s so feisty and fierce and so damn cute. She gets this line on the bridge of her nose when she’s mad and sometimes I purposely annoy her just so I can see that line because it’s the way she was when I first met her, properly you know? And I like remembering that because I’m pretty sure I knew, even then, that there was something about her that I wouldn’t be able to let go of. And I’m fucking lucky, Dave. I’m so fucking lucky that she felt the same because I don’t know what I’d be doing right now if she wasn’t at home waiting for me.” Dylan pauses for a beat, a smile on his lips when he faces Dave. His eyebrows quirk when he sees the camera in his hand but he doesn’t seem to care. “I’m in so fucking deep, man. And I love it. I love her. And I fucking miss her.”
Dave’s heavy breath distorts the speakers.
“You’ll find her one day,” Dylan says.
“Who?”
“Your Riley.”
“I fucking hope so,” Dave says through a chuckle. “You gonna marry her?”
“Isn’t that the plan? I mean, at the base of any relationship, isn’t that the end goal?”
“I guess.”
“Hey,” Dylan says, shifting to his side. “You gonna come to my wedding?”
“Fuck that, Banks. I’m going to be in your wedding.”
Fifty-Eight
Dylan
Logan returns to the living room of the log cabin one of Cameron’s clients had loaned us for the night, wearing a different pair of sweats and a scowl stronger than the whiskey we’re drinking. “Fucking burned my nutsack, assholes!”
Jake holds his stomach, trying to ease the ache from laughing so hard.
“Your face was fucking priceless man,” Cam says. “And the best part…” he breaks off in a fit of laughter. When he’s calm enough, he adds, “We fucking lit it and you moaned Amanda’s name!”
“I was confused!” Logan shouts, slumping down on the couch next to me. “It was so fucking warm, just like her mouth.”
Jake shakes his head. “That’s so wrong, dude.”
I get up from my
seat and walk over to the table where my bag holding my supplies is.
“How are things with Riley?” Jake asks.
I shrug. “It’s going well. A little too well.” I grab what I need and pocket it before turning around. “I fucked up pretty bad,” I say, leaning back on the table. “I made a lot of mistakes… just waiting for it to catch up to me.”
Cam shrugs. “We all make mistakes, dude. We all hurt the people we love. It makes us human.”
I sit back down in my chair. “Not as bad as I have.”
“Hello,” Cam points to Logan, “I ran away for the year under the pretense of saving lives.”
“Fuck off,” Logan says, but he’s laughing.
“And me?” Cam points to himself. “Do I need to remind you of Slut-of-a-whore-gate? I fucking drew a picture of another girl, bro. I get stabby just thinking about it… and him.” He points to Jake now, then scowls. “Fuck you, Mr. Perfect.”
“Shut up,” Jake snaps, then pauses a moment. “I got drunk and made out with a girl at a party on an away game once.”
We stare at him. “Shut the fuck up,” Logan says. We don’t believe him. Not for a second.
“I just want to fit in,” Jake whines.
“You’d cry if you so much as looked at another girl. Micky would be the one talking you off the ledge,” Cam tells him, then looks over at me. “Truth? You messed up, Dylan. You had every right to. We deal with pain differently.”
“Maybe.” I shrug.
Cam yawns, loud and long and so damn perfect. “I’m fucking fading.”
“Pussy,” Jake says.
“Fuck you! Unlike the fucking rest of you fucking assholes, I fucking have a fucking job. I’m not just fucking cruising through the summer for the fuck of it. I’ve fucking been up since fucking five.”
“Holy shit.” Jake laughs. “Swear much?”
“Sorry. I’m always at work all professional and shit…” He loosens his tie. “…or Lucy’s little brother is always at the cabin and I have to tone down the cursing and it just feels good to fucking swear sometimes.”