This was a weird experience for me. My publicist, Ruth, hired a stylist, and they'd flown dresses in for me from New York, Paris and London, as well as shoes and accessories.
Okay, seriously? They are making way too much out of this; especially since most of the fans would be clamoring to get a glimpse of Cade, and they wouldn't give a rat's ass what I'd be wearing.
Frankly, the only reason it mattered to me was because Cade would be looking at me so I always wanted to be as beautiful as possible.
Ruth and I picked out a midnight blue, strapless gown in silk chiffon that was fitted through the bodice with a flowing skirt that had been tailored so the hem fell perfectly to the floor to brush the top of the strappy high heels. I knew that a little skin would tantalize and tease Cade, so I'd give him a little taste. There would be women throwing themselves at him throughout the evening and I wanted to look my best.
For the past month, he'd been getting thousands of letters from fans begging to meet him, stating their undying love. He'd teased me, mocking that he didn't find even one love letter from me within the many piles. I just laughed it off.
"Even if I did send one, how would you find it in there? That's Mount Everest!" I'd shoved him down amongst the piles, and he pulled me with him and we'd ended up making out in the middle of them all. Take that, fan girls. I laughed to myself at the memory.
What worried me more were the half a dozen or so personal notes sent to him through his manager from actresses asking to meet him up with them at the after party at the Armand Hammer Museum. Pinnacle made it plain that Cade was to socialize at that damn thing, and make sure he appeared unattached. Well, he damn well was attached.
For the first time, David wasn't going with me, but as far as the world was concerned, he and I were still together. This wasn't going to be so much fun watching Cade talk and flirt with a lot of the women there, even though I knew it was part of the job.
His job. That's what he called it. To me it was more.
The only consolation was Cade had a radio interview pretty early the following morning, so hopefully, he'd have an excuse to leave early before too much socializing with actresses like Roxanne Mason.
She'd sent him two notes. Please. I couldn’t help huffing and rolling my eyes at the thought. Could she be more obvious?
They particularly pushed Roxanne at Cade because she had a movie coming out from the studio shortly after our movie released. What a mega-media machine; to have the two leads from two of their movies hook up? There were plans to have Cade meet her out for coffee and a couple of other ‘dates’ as well.
I wanted to throw up, and it wasn't nerves over the premiere either. It was particularly grating because the studio was working the “relationship” angle for Roxanne’s movie, but Cade and I had to lie about ours.
Ruth had the hair stylist put my hair up which was unusual for me but I liked it. There were little wisps trailing down on either side of my face and my jewelry was simple. That was me; simple, easy, no bullshit and no pretenses.
After this premiere we'd have the Western European circuit, which would include Munich, France, Berlin, and London, all the first week of December. That was going to kill us, but at least I'd get some alone time with him then.
Ruth was fiddling with my hair and shoving a black clutch in my hand as she went over the designers I was wearing. I rolled my eyes as I checked my make-up one last time.
"What is that? What who do you have on?" Her face was stern, insistent as she looked at me.
"Ruth, come on. Is this really necessary? These girls care more about what brand of hair gel Cade uses than whom or what I'm wearing."
"Brook," she said; her irritation clear. I sighed.
"Okay, the dress is Balenciaga, the shoes and purse, are Christiana... Er, somebody or other, and the necklace is Chanel."
"Don't be flippant. This shit is important, especially if we think this movie is going to explode as projected. Your career could take off and you could be the next Angelina Jolie! We don't need these gossip shows dumping on you before you even get out of the gate. So who did your shoes?"
I laughed out loud. "Why would I want to be the next Angelina Jolie? She’s strange. First she's wearing some dude's blood around her neck, then she's a home wrecker and she's adopting and popping out so many kids, she can't even remember all of their names. Not to mention all those tattoos. What a nightmare. Jesus." I shook my head. "Cade would flip if I got any tattoos, or you know, wore a vial of his blood around my neck," I said and smirked at her. Really, I didn’t think the actress was weird at all, I mean, to each their own, but playing with Ruth was fun.
I was making fun of her and she was getting frustrated. I bit my lip to keep from smiling as I peered at her reflection in the mirror. She was getting hot.
"Brook! Your shoes?" Her eyes widened and her mouth set as she glared at me.
"Ugh! Ruth!" I stood up and picked up the shoes to put them on, glancing at the label in the bottom as I did so.
"Um... Christian La-boo-tin, okay?" I read it off and looked at her with a shrug.
"No. Not okay. That's pronounced loo-bow-tawn! Got it?"
I was laughing again as I shoved my bare feet into the shoes.
"What the fuck am I doing here if you're just going to make fun of me, huh?" she huffed at me.
I sobered up and went to give her a hug. "I'm sorry, Ruth. You're right. I'm just nervous and am trying to have a little fun. I knew the shoes and purse were Louboutin.” I made sure to pronounce it correctly this time. “I was only playing with you, okay?"
Ruth cocked her head to one side and I could see her tongue in her cheek.
"You know you love me." I was smiling at her again.
She let out a huge sigh and relaxed. "Yeah, I love you, all right."
"I know." I moved toward the door when my mother called from downstairs to tell me the limo was outside. Cade would already be in the car.
"Relax, Ruth. I got this, I promise. I won't embarrass you."
Downstairs, I hugged my parents and brother goodbye as Cade’s driver, Shane, waited in the foyer. They were all dressed to kill and looked very stylish.
"Wow, you guys look amazing."
"We're very proud of you, Brooklyn. Tonight is your night and you look beautiful." My dad hugged me again, and my mom handed me my wrap as the driver waited for me in the hall. The fans camped outside my house prevented Cade from coming in.
"Good evening.” The driver said, nodding at my parents and then my brother and me. “Mr. Carlisle offers his regrets at not being able to come inside to collect Miss Brooklyn, and begs your pardon. He said he would like to spend some time with you at the after party so he can introduce you all to his family. Would that be acceptable?"
My mom's face glowed at the English formality and respect Cade was exhibiting, even if he couldn’t do as he wished. My heart thumped in my chest at the look on her face. My father’s lips lifted in a smile and I breathed a sigh of relief. Cade had met my mother, but had yet to spend any time with my father.
"Why, yes, thank you. Tell Cade that’s just fine, Shane."
He bowed his head to her, and then ushered me to the door. "Shall we go, miss?"
"Yes, thank you," I answered and preceded him through, as he held the door open for me.
This was it; the big U.S. premiere. It was finally here, and I was nervous. From our phone conversations earlier in the day, it was clear Cade was a little out of sorts as well. Neither one of us knew what to expect. If Rome had given us a taste, this would be madness.
Shane opened the door for me and I slid in next to Cade. He was impeccable in all black, his shirt, suit and tie all the same tone. His hair was perfectly messy as usual, and his eyes were bright as he looked at me, with a beautiful smile on his face.
The minute Shane closed the door; he took me in his arms and placed a hot kiss on my mouth.
"You look gorgeous, love. I missed you." His blue eyes devoured me.
"You
just saw me this morning." I poked him in the ribs with my index finger.
"Yeah. I missed you." He reached out to cup my face as our eyes met.
"Are you ready for this?"
We both leaned back in the seats and faced each other. "As ready as I'll ever be, I guess." I searched his face for reassurance. He had done this numerous times. "Can you believe it's been an entire year? It's weird, isn't it?" I didn't really know how to put my thoughts into words.
"Yes. Only a year since we met, and this all started, but so much has happened in that year. The best part is us, Brook. Kahlen writing the books; the movie being made… I see all of it as fate's way of making sure you and I find each other. We were meant to be."
Thud. My heart was beating so fast at his words. How in the hell did he do that all of the time? His words melted me and lifted my heart right out of my chest.
My eyes began to sting and well with tears as I looked at the beautiful man who had changed my life.
"You're amazing. Thank you for being in my life, and for loving me so much."
His eyes and smile softened. "Like I have a choice in the matter. You’re everything to me," he said words that echoed Ryan's, but I realized they were his words and he meant them.
He pulled me into his arms and his mouth brushed mine. "I'd like to make love to you right here, but I know Ruth would kill me. Literally." The corners of his mouth quirked in the adorable way I loved.
"Yeah, I already yanked her chain enough tonight."
"What?" He took my hand between both of his and laughed.
"Oh, I teased her about not knowing the designers I'm wearing. She thinks that crap is so important."
We arrived at Mann's where the u-shaped red carpet awaited us with the thousands of screaming fans. I could hear the din from several blocks away through the closed windows of the limousine. The skylights sweeping back and forth across the sky guided us to our destination. This was really happening. With the rest of the cast already there, we'd be the last to go into the theater, where our families would be ushered through a back door to meet up with us.
"Did your sister and brother come with your parents?" I'd met his younger sister Layla, but had yet to meet his older brother, Oliver or his parents. I was a little nervous at the thought of meeting them. Cade read my mind.
"They'll love you, Brook. We won't have much time to talk with them tonight, but I'd like to arrange something for tomorrow evening, okay?"
"Jeanne told me that we can't have our parents socializing beyond the premiere because it screams that you and I have a relationship outside of the film, but maybe I can sneak over there and have breakfast or something while you're at your radio thing."
"Yeah, I'd like to be there with all of you, but I guess that would work. Are you sure?"
"Sure. I want to know them, Cade. Don't worry, I won't ask any embarrassing things about you, I promise." I grinned at him and he smiled in return.
The screams got louder as we inched closer to where we'd disembark from the limo. He brought my hand to his mouth and placed a soft, open-mouthed kiss on the top.
"Here we go. I won't be able to kiss you all night, so I need one for the road." He smiled as he tilted my chin up with his hand and covered my mouth with his. I opened to him and put my hands at the back of his head, pulling him closer, but careful not to make a mess of it. Our tongues slid deliciously into each other's mouths as we sucked and pulled on each other's lips in what turned into several kisses.
"Ugh!" He pulled his mouth from mine for the last time, and I clung to his lips, not wanting to let him go.
"You make it hard to stop. I love you, Brook. Tonight while we're talking to all these other people, my mind will only be on you. Remember, this is my fucking job, and that's it."
I knew what he was saying, but my heart fell slightly, despite my conviction to steel myself against it. "I know." I placed another small kiss on his mouth and inhaled deeply. "I know."
"Are you scared?"
"A little, I guess."
"We're going to do this together, just like we've done all along, right?"
I nodded. Cade squeezed my hand one last time before letting go as the driver opened the door. The screams flooded our senses as they increased in volume. Cade got out first, paused, and then offered me his hand.
We waved at the crowd, and each of us went to opposite sides of the carpet to begin signing autographs and talking to fans. It seemed like hours later when we stepped off to our individual photo calls and were able to talk to some of the other cast members.
Wendy and Jennifer were there along with Martin, our director. We had photos taken with all of them. Wendy and I weren't hanging out as much, so when she came over and hugged me to her for a photo, I was surprised.
"Hi, Brook! It's great to see you. Love your dress!"
"You look good too, Wendy. Let's catch up at the party, huh?" I smiled warmly at her and hoped the strain between us would be in the past.
"Sure thing. See you later!" She walked off into the theater, but I still had some photos to do.
When they called for Cade and I to pose together, I was thankful to have his arm around me again as he pressed his fingers into the side of my waist. His hand went around my body so naturally and as I gazed up at him, I felt calmed by his presence next to me. Peace within the madness. I watched him talk to his fans and do the interviews with me, and when his hand ran through his gorgeous mane again and again, I figured he was a little flustered, too.
I felt like we were shouting our answers to the television hosts and news media, and I could barely hear myself talk above the roar of the crowds.
"I think I'm going deaf!" Cade murmured down to me at one point. "But I'm not going blind. You're so beautiful; I can't keep my eyes off of you, Brook. I'll be watching you all night, babe. I love you."
"Me too." I smiled as the cameras flashed again and again.
CADE AND I sat next to each other in the middle of the theater with our families on both sides. He'd introduced me to his parents, and his brother, Oliver, briefly, but I hadn't really had a chance to speak to them. Oliver had Cade’s coloring and was very handsome, though, my biased mind argued, not as handsome as his brother. Layla, who I'd met during the filming, was slender and elegant, dressed head to toe in Versace, her dress glimmering softly as the cameras flashed. Cade's parents were a lot like him, down-to-earth and normal people. It was apparent that they were extremely proud of his success by the way his mom couldn't stop smiling and touching his hair, and his dad's chest was all puffed up.
Rightfully so, I thought. He's amazing. I took a deep breath as the movie started and my voiceover came over the speakers. Cade grabbed my hand and held on tight. I glanced up at him and smiled to myself.
The looks on the faces of our mothers were priceless. There were times during the movie when I felt Cade tense and sensed he wanted to flee the theater. He was especially uneasy during the scene when his character, Ryan, touched Julia as a lover for the first time.
It was so emotional, and he played it so realistically. I did too, but I’d been in such awe of him, and I was secretly living it in real life. I could watch him for hours on end. I of all people knew it was acting, but it seemed so real. I watched the reaction of some of the people around us, and people were completely drawn in.
I scratched the inside of his palm and he glanced at me with a secret smile, and then rubbed the top of my hand with his thumb.
Hopefully, everyone was so caught up in the movie that they didn't notice our entwined hands, but somehow, we just had to touch each other.
Memories flooded my mind as the movie played, of times that we shared during the shoot; so many memories. Being in the car mock-up against the green screen for hours and hours while we did the scenes of the drive from San Francisco to Boston, the closeness we felt while we worked on Ryan's bedroom scene, totally lost in each other as we rehearsed, and the full day of filming that first make-out scene.
I felt my
pulse speed up as his hand moved on mine again.
Wow, that was quite a day. Reality was so intense, it made the film that much hotter.
I'd allowed myself to give in to all of the want I'd been feeling; the longing caused by being near him and not being able to touch him. He had too. I'd felt his arousal pressing against me several times during that day, and I wanted him so badly, I ached with it. He wanted me to feel it as he moved against me, needed me to know that he really did want me. There had been many times when we'd been alone that I'd wanted him to touch me like that, but we both held back, so when we finally had the chance to get our hands on each other, we really let ourselves fall in to it. The thoughts made my blood flush my skin as my body quickened.
Martin used the close up shots instead of the full screen ones. He'd said the full body shots were too hot. That was an understatement. In interviews, he continually made fun of Cade because he fell off the bed during one of the takes. Hell, I would have too, if he hadn't caught me. We'd forgotten anyone was on the set with us and had gotten so lost in each other. I was shaken when it was over. Obviously, the studio hadn’t reined Martin in the way they had Cade and me.
Remembering, I’d been stunned as Cade picked himself up and sat down next to me on the bed sheepishly, running his hand through his hair. He'd taken my hand in his other one and looked into my face as we waited for the crew to reset the cameras and the set for the next take. Something passed between us in that moment that changed our relationship. Any time we spent alone after that lost the light, carefree feeling and something unspoken hung between us from that moment on; the sexual tension thick.
I sometimes wondered at Martin’s mental maturity. I was young, but he was so completely juvenile, always ramming that slip up in Cade’s face.
I could feel the sweat starting between our palms and his breathing increase, sensing he was sharing the same thoughts as the scene played out in front of us. Oh, God.
I wanted so badly to lay my head on his shoulder, to communicate with him how this was affecting me. He leaned his head closer to me and whispered in my ear.