The psychologist, Dr. Natalie Townson, was based in the UK, so she’d made an Internet appointment.
It’s time. Sign in.
Oh God, was she really going to do this?
I’m not ready. I’m not ready.
She didn’t know if she could talk to a woman she didn’t know at all about her very personal life with James.
Then, she pictured Gabe’s face, the way he’d touched her two nights ago. She thought about Lara and her look of genuine horror as Chloe had described some of the things that bothered her about James. Both of them had reached out to her in different ways to try to help her. She might be irritated and embarrassed about her reaction to Gabe, but his white-hot kiss had been a learning experience.
There’s no harm in trying, Chloe. Do it.
Before she could change her mind, she brought up her computer and followed the instructions to be connected with Dr. Townson. The woman’s face appeared almost immediately, as though she had been waiting for her.
“Hello, Chloe. Are you ready to begin the session? I’m hoping I can help make things better for you.”
The woman was beautiful with shoulder-length brown hair and the kindest eyes Chloe had ever seen. She had a lovely, melodious English accent that was soothing to Chloe’s ears. “I’m nervous, Dr. Townson,” she said in a rush.
“That’s normal. But you’re very brave. Please call me Natalie. Is it okay that I’m using your first name, Chloe?”
She wasn’t sure if Natalie suggested first names because they were both doctors in their respective fields, but she was relieved to be able to address the woman less formally.
“Yes.” Chloe nodded slowly.
“Good.” Natalie smiled wider.
“I’m not sure I need this, and I’m not sure if I’m ready, but I do want to try.” Chloe looked into the computer screen and met the other woman’s compassionate gaze. She sensed that Natalie knew exactly how she felt.
“Well then, wanting to try is the most important part. We’ll figure out everything else as we go along, shall we?” Natalie suggested earnestly.
Chloe sat up straighter in her chair, giving Natalie a weak smile in return. “Okay.”
Maybe she wasn’t ready, but maybe nobody ever was. Something was wrong, and Chloe was determined to figure out exactly what it was, and how she could heal the damaged places in her soul.
Her body slowly relaxed as she opened up and let the first session begin.
Chapter 1
The Present…
“Chloe, please tell me you aren’t seriously still considering marriage to James,” Lara Colter begged her sister-in-law as they both brushed their wet hair in the shower room of the Rocky Springs Resort. Lara had been teaching Chloe self-defense every morning for months, and working out and cleaning up at the resort had become their morning routine.
Chloe looked at her, a woman who had become both mentor and friend since she’d married Tate. “I pushed the wedding back because Ellie disappeared.”
Though Chloe had been counseling with Natalie for months, since right after the New Year had started, and she knew she wasn’t going to marry James, she’d been taking her time canceling the wedding for good.
“Cancel it. You know you can’t marry him. He doesn’t love you, Chloe, and you don’t love him,” Lara said in a pleading voice full of concern.
What Lara said was true. Chloe had known the truth since Gabe had kissed her months ago. Natalie had forced her to see the truth. Chloe had spent a short time in denial, but deep inside she did know the truth. James had become more and more cruel, but he was still determined to see them become man and wife. If he hurt her, he’d come back contrite, claiming he was stressed out. They’d have a brief period of harmony and then it would happen all over again. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could stay on the roller coaster without falling off.
She’d needed time to straighten out her head, so she’d avoided as much conflict as possible with him. Unfortunately, he still pushed for a wedding—nuptials that Chloe knew were never going to happen. She just hadn’t found the strength to tell him…until recently. It had taken her months to finally understand that things with James were never going to change.
“I didn’t know what to do,” she admitted for the first time. “Things are okay for a while, and then he just…changes.” Not that it was ever great, but there were occasionally periods of peace. However, those moments were happening less and less often. She knew she needed to sever her connection to him completely. James was trying harder and harder to control her.
“It’s the cycle of abuse, Chloe. It’s classic. I’m sure Natalie explained that to you. Do you really want to spend your entire life with this man?” Lara asked bluntly as she jerked a brush roughly through her hair.
“He’s all I’ve ever known,” Chloe replied as she stuffed her brush back into her workout bag. “It’s not like I have much to compare our relationship with.”
Her lack of experience had been one of the reasons it had taken her so long to get her head straight. It was difficult to understand “normal” when she’d never really experienced it before in an intimate relationship.
Lara’s eyes softened. “I know. You have nothing to compare him to. But take my word that your relationship isn’t normal or healthy. You need someone who adores you. You deserve that.”
Since her sister-in-law had gone back for her master’s degree in psychology and gotten heavily involved in the charity for abused women that their family supported, she’d been talking to Chloe every day about the signs of abuse in her relationship with James. In turn, Chloe talked about them with Natalie, trying to make sense out of James’s unnatural behavior.
At first, she had made excuses for James, but she was starting to understand that even doing that was part of the cycle. The truth was, she didn’t want to marry James, and she was getting tired of making excuses. Her continued therapy had been productive in making Chloe believe that James’s behavior wasn’t her fault, but she had other concerns.
“I know,” Chloe conceded sadly. “But I’m worried about the bad press. Blake is up for re-election soon. I don’t want there to be a bunch of gossip.”
“Your brother will survive. He’s heavily favored, and I don’t think his sister’s broken engagement is going to make a damn bit of difference,” Lara answered adamantly. “Ask Blake,” she suggested as she zipped up her bag. “I can guarantee you he’d be in favor of you getting James out of your life.”
He would. Chloe knew that. Family was important to Blake and she was still his little sister, even though she was all grown up. “He’ll want me to do it.” She’d never questioned what her brother’s answer would be. She was more worried about the consequences he might face.
Lara rolled her eyes. “Everybody wants you to do it. I’ve kept your confidences about some of the things happening with James, but I feel guilty keeping things like this from Tate. He’d be livid if he knew about how bad it really is for you, and I’m nervous because you haven’t completely broken it off with him. Tate would want you to be safe, and so do I.”
“I’m sorry,” Chloe responded immediately.
Lara shrugged. “My relationship with Tate will survive. I’m more worried about you.”
Chloe wondered what it would be like to be that confident about the man she married, knowing that he’d love her no matter what happened. She’d put Lara in an awkward situation when she’d shared some of her concerns about her relationship with James, and it wasn’t fair to her.
“I’ll break it off. When Ellie disappeared, I postponed the wedding rather than breaking it off completely because I was worried about her, but James has been pushing recently. I have to tell him.” Chloe knew it would be the biggest relief of her life after she finally broke things off for good, but it would be awkward. They were bound to meet in a small town like Rocky Springs, and she’d learned that James’s temper could be fierce.
The final straw had happened just a few
weeks ago, and she hadn’t met with him alone since then.
With Natalie’s help, she’d been working up the courage to break the engagement when Ellie had disappeared. Deep down, Chloe knew she couldn’t marry James, and she’d been planning on breaking off the wedding and her engagement even before her friend had gone missing.
“Any word on her?” Lara asked kindly.
Chloe shook her head, still devastated that Ellie had vanished one day without a trace, just a few weeks before the wedding.
Much to James’s displeasure, Chloe had dropped any thoughts of her wedding, and joined in the intensive search for her best friend. Now it was time to cancel it altogether, especially since she understood abusive relationships much better than she had before, because of Natalie’s patience and counseling. Her “relationship” with James was anything but healthy, and it was time to end it for good.
“I haven’t heard anything. Marcus has a private investigator working on it now, and Zane is actually helping me look for Ellie himself. The case is still open, but the police say there’s every reason to believe she may have just left. There’s no evidence that a crime has been committed. She just…disappeared.” The empty hole in her heart got a little wider as she thought about Ellie, worried that she was out there somewhere, in trouble and unable to communicate. Or even worse…
Chloe didn’t want to think about the worst-case scenario. She still connected with Zane every day, hoping together they could find her best friend.
“Do you really believe that?” Lara queried softly as she picked up her bag.
“No,” Chloe answered instantly. “She wouldn’t do that. Ellie has always been responsible, and she had no reason to leave. We’ve been best friends since grade school. She would have contacted me if she could.” Ellie hadn’t connected with Chloe in any way, a fact that was making her frantic.
“Do you think it has anything to do with James?”
Months ago, she would have leapt to proclaim James’s innocence. Now, she wasn’t sure she’d ever known him at all.
“Because she worked for him? I’m not certain.” Chloe didn’t want to believe James could be involved in Ellie’s disappearance, and he swore he didn’t know why she just hadn’t shown up for work one day.
The only thing her friend had ever mentioned to Chloe was that James could be a jerk to work for, but she’d only worked in his office a short time before she disappeared.
Honestly, James having anything to do with Ellie’s disappearance made no sense. They hardly knew each other. She couldn’t think of any scenario that would make him responsible for Ellie’s sudden disappearance.
“And you’re sure she didn’t have a man in her life?” Lara questioned, suddenly sounding like the former FBI agent that she’d been before she married Tate.
Chloe shook her head. She and Ellie had always been the geeks in school, both of them overweight and awkward from grade school and all the way through high school. They’d bonded and become incredibly close because they both felt uncomfortable, finding out they actually had much more in common with each other than they did with the popular girls. After they’d become friends, they’d had each other, and that had made all the difference to Chloe in school.
“No. No boyfriends,” Chloe finally answered glumly. “I would have known.”
“How does a woman just disappear without a clue as to why it happened?” Lara said thoughtfully. “It doesn’t make any sense. I didn’t know her well, but she doesn’t seem like the type of woman to invite trouble.”
“She wasn’t. She grew up in a good family, just like I did. Her dad passed away several years ago, and her mother remarried and moved to Montana, but they were still close. Ellie never wanted to make waves or bring attention to herself. She led a quiet life as far as I know.” Granted, Chloe hadn’t seen her best friend much after she went away to college to become a vet, but they talked to each other on the phone almost every day. There was very little of their lives that they didn’t share.
“Did she like James? Did she know about the problems you were having?” Lara asked in a quiet voice.
Chloe shrugged. “I didn’t share much about him with anybody except you and Natalie. I guess I was ashamed of how he treated me sometimes. Ellie really never got to know him well until she went to work for him, and that didn’t last long before she disappeared.”
“Break it off and keep your distance, Chloe. Please.” Lara gave Chloe a beseeching look.
Chloe nodded slowly as she swung her workout bag over her shoulder. “I will.” She knew it was time. Her friend had been gone for almost six months. Chloe would never stop looking for Ellie, and a piece of her heart would always be missing unless she found her. But she had to break things off with James. She’d played avoidance long enough. She had enough information and counseling now to be strong enough to sever all ties with him.
“Don’t let him guilt you or talk you out of it,” Lara cautioned.
Chloe knew how James could be when he decided to be contrite. He was convincing, but she wasn’t going to let him lead her back into the cycle again.
Never again, no matter how difficult things might get once I tell him.
She simply nodded at Lara. “Thank you,” she called over her shoulder as she walked toward the exit door.
“For what?” Lara asked, confused, as she followed Chloe.
“For helping me, for connecting me with Natalie, for being there for me, and for loving my brother so much.” Tate was so happy, and Chloe knew it had everything to do with Lara. The love that shimmered between them when she saw them together was so strong it was almost palpable.
“He’s not always an easy man to love, but he’s the one for me,” Lara said with a happy sigh.
Thinking about it, Chloe imagined none of her brothers were easy men to love, but she loved them anyway. They might be stubborn, proud, and demanding, but every one of their hearts was good. “Is Tate coming for breakfast again?” Chloe asked curiously.
Lara laughed. “Of course. He’s getting a breakfast he doesn’t have to cook. I don’t have time to cook for us in the morning.”
“Should we head over and see if there are any waffles left?” Chloe teased.
“He’ll save us one, and your mom is getting wise to him and stocking more waffles at breakfast now. She knows he’s coming to the resort to eat almost every morning.”
Chloe’s mother ran the Rocky Springs Resort, a plush getaway for people who wanted to escape their busy lives for a short time.
Not wanting to discuss James anymore, Chloe headed toward the dining room. “I’m starving,” she admitted, no longer quite as concerned about her weight anymore. She was curvy and that was that. Besides, she needed some comfort food.
“Lead the way,” Lara said eagerly.
Chloe wasn’t certain if Lara was eager for her breakfast or anxious to see her husband. As she led Lara toward the food, she imagined it was a little bit of both.
“I’m breaking off my engagement with James. I don’t want to marry him,” Chloe admitted to her mother, Aileen Colter, as she sat sipping coffee with her in the breakfast area before she left for the animal clinic. Tate and Lara had eaten and left quickly since Lara had work to do at school. As usual, Tate was flying his wife to the university, and then he’d bring her back home later in the day.
Aileen had taken a break from her office at the resort to join her daughter for coffee.
“Thank God,” Aileen whispered, relief evident in her voice.
Chloe sighed as she blew on the hot beverage and eyed her mother over the rim of her cup. “You, too? I thought you wanted me married.”
Aileen looked at her only daughter with a loving gaze. “I do. But your happiness is more important than me wanting grandchildren. I don’t think you’d be happy with James.”
“Why?” Chloe questioned curiously. Her mother knew very little about her relationship with her fiancé.
Aileen gave Chloe a knowing look. “A mother know
s,” she answered vaguely. “Things have never been right with him. He’s the only man you’ve ever dated. I think you were willing to accept much less than you deserve, Chloe.”
Baffled, she answered, “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“There comes a time when a mother needs to let go. Do you think I liked seeing you torture yourself when you didn’t need to? Do you think I wasn’t terrified when Tate was in Special Forces? Do you think I don’t worry now because I know that Marcus does some dangerous things?” Aileen paused to sip her coffee before continuing. “All of you are adults, and you need to make your own decisions regardless of whether I like it or not. I raised remarkable children, and I have faith that they are going to do what they have to do to be happy. But that doesn’t mean I always like it,” she finished in an unhappy voice.
“So you think I’m doing the right thing?” Chloe asked anxiously.
Aileen nodded. “Definitely, baby girl. You need a man who really loves you. James isn’t that man. You just never had a chance to find one who does.”
Chloe’s heart squeezed with love for her only parent. Her mother had obviously been confident that she’d eventually make the right choice. “Would you have said something if I actually was going to marry him?”
“I might have,” Aileen replied thoughtfully. “But I was pretty sure I wouldn’t need to. I knew you’d figure everything out eventually. You’re a smart woman. But you were making me a little nervous.”
Her mother knew nothing about James’s temper, but Chloe had inklings that she knew more than she let on. Maybe it was motherly instinct, but Chloe wondered how her mom just seemed to know most everything that was going on with her kids, even when they hadn’t told her.
“We’re having dinner tomorrow. I’ll tell him then,” Chloe reassured her softly.