Ambulance. Tish said she had ordered afast one, because it was often necessary to run between shells, as itwere. She then shoved on the gas as far as it would go, and we were off.After a time, finding it impossible to sit on the folding seats inside,we all sat on the floor, and I believe Mr. Culver held Myrtle's hand allof the way.
He said little, beyond observing once that he felt a trifle queer aboutleaving the policeman, who had been on duty when he picked him up atthe Court House, and who was now lost some forty-five miles from home,in a strange land.
I am glad, in this public manner, to correct the report that on theevening of June fifth a German Zeppelin made a raid over our country,and that the wounded were hurried to the city in a Red Cross Ambulance,traveling at break-neck speed.
At nine o'clock Mr. Culver was registered at Engine House number eleven,fourteenth ward, third precinct.
At nine-fifteen Mr. Culver and Myrtle were married at the same addressby Mr. Ostermaier, standing in front of the fire truck.
But this should be related in detail. So bitter was Charlie Sands, souneasy about the license, and so on, that I feel in fairness to Tishthat I should relate exactly what happened.
At ten o'clock that night everything was over, and we had gathered inTish's apartment while Hannah broiled a steak, for Tish felt that theoccasion permitted a certain extravagance, when Charlie Sands came in.Behind him was a dishevelled young man, with wild eyes and a suitcase.Charlie Sands stood and glared at us.
"Well!" he said. And then: "Where's the young lady?"
"What young lady?" asked Tish, coldly.
The young man stepped forward, with his fists clenched.
"Mine!" he bellowed. "Mine! Don't deny it. I recognize you. I sawyou--the lot of you. I saw you drag her into a car and kidnap her. I sawthat ass Culver and a policeman chasing you in another car. Oh, I knowyou, all right. Didn't I pay twenty-two dollars for a taxicab that gotthree punctures all at once thirty miles from the city? _Now where isshe?_"
"Just a moment," said Tish's nephew, holding him back by an arm acrosshis chest. "Just remember that whatever my aunt has done was done withthe best intentions."
"D---- her intentions! I want Myrtle."
The dreadful truth must have come to Tish at that moment, as it did tothe rest of us. I know that she turned pale. But she rose and pointedmagnificently to the door.
"Leave my apartment," she said majestically. And to Charlie Sands: "Takethat madman away and lock him up. Then, if you have anything to say tome, come back alone."
"Not a step," said the young man. "Where's my marriage license?Where's----"
But Charlie Sands pushed him out into the hallway and closed the dooron him. Then, with folded arms he surveyed us.
"That's right!" he said. "Knot! I believe most pirates knit on off days.Now, Aunt Letitia, I want the whole story."
"Story?"
"About the license. He says the girl had the license."
"What license?"
"Don't evade!" he said sternly. "Where were you this afternoon?"
"If you want the truth," said Tish, "although it's none of yourbusiness, Charlie Sands, and you can unfold your arms, because the posehas no effect on me,--I was out rounding up a young man who had notregistered. I got him and brought him in to my precinct at five minutesto nine."
"And that's the truth?"
"Go and ask Mr. Ostermaier," said Tish, in a bored tone.
"But this boy outside----"
"Look here," Tish said suddenly, "go and ask that noisy young idiot forhis blue card. It's my belief he hasn't registered and more than likelyhe's been making all this fuss so he'll have an excuse if he's foundout. How do we know," she went on, gaining force with each word, "thatthere _is_ a Myrtle?"
"By George!" said Charlie Sands, and disappeared.
It was then, for the first time in her valiant life, that I saw our Tishweaken.
"Lizzie!" she groaned, leaning back in her chair. "That Culver wasmarried with another man's name on the license. What's more, I marriedhim to that flibbertygibbet who had just jilted him. What have I done?Oh, what have I done?"
"They both seemed happy, Tish," I tried to soothe her. But she refusedall consolation, and merely called Hannah and asked for some blackberrycordial. She drank fully half a tumbler full and she recovered her poiseby the time Charlie Sands stuck his head through the door again.
"You're right, most shrewd of aunts," he said. "He's been playing me fora sucker all right. Not a blue card on him! And he belongs out of town,so it's too late."
"It's a jail matter," said Tish, knitting calmly, although we afterwardsdiscovered that she had put a heel on the wristlet she was making."You'd better get his name, and I'll notify the sheriff of his county inthe morning."
Charlie Sands came over to her and stood looking down at her.
"Aunt Tish," he said. "I believe you. I believe you firmly. I shall noteven ask about a young man named Culver, who went to get our marriagelicense list at the Court House this afternoon and has not been seensince. But I want to bring a small matter to your attention. Thatpoliceman had not registered."
He then turned and went toward the door.
"But I did, dear Aunt Letitia," he said and was gone.
* * * * *
Tish came to see me the next afternoon, bringing the paper, whichcontained a glowing account of her gift to the local Red Cross of a fineambulance. An editorial comment spoke of her public spirit, which for somany years had made her a conspicuous figure in all civic work.
"The city," it finished, "can do with many like our Miss 'Tish'Carberry."
But Tish showed no exultation. She sat in a rocking chair and rockedslowly.
"Read the next editorial, Lizzie," she said, in a low voice.
I have it before me now, cut out rather raggedly, for I confess I wasfar from calm when I did it.
* * * * *
"A SHAMEFUL INCIDENT.
"Perhaps nothing has so exposed this city to criticism as the conduct ofOfficer Flinn, as shown in a news item in our columns exclusively.Officer Flinn has been five years on the police force of this city. Hehas until now borne an excellent record. But he did not registeryesterday, and on limping into the Central Station this morning told astory manifestly intended to indicate temporary insanity and thus stillfurther disqualify him for the service of his country. His statement ofseeing three elderly women kidnap a young girl from in front of theCourt House, his further statement of following the kidnappers far intothe country, with a young man he cannot now produce, is sufficientlyoutrageous.
"But, not satisfied with this, the inventive ex-officer went further andadded a night in a pigpen, constantly threatened by a savage bull, and ajourney of forty-five miles on foot when, early this morning, the animalretired for a belated sleep!
"Representatives of this paper, investigating this curious situation,found the farmhouse which Officer Flinn described as being the den ofthe kidnappers and which he stated he had left in a state of siege, thebandits and their victim within and the young man who had accompaniedthe officer, without. Needless to say, nothing bore out his story. Ayoung married couple, named Culver, who are spending their honeymoonthere, knew nothing of the circumstances, although stating that theybelieved that a neighboring family possessed a belligerent bull.
"It is a regrettable fact that the only scandal which marred a fine andpatriotic outburst of national feeling yesterday should have involvedthe city organization. Is it not time that loyal citizens demand aninvestigation into----"
* * * * *
"Never mind the rest, Lizzie," Tish said wearily. "I suppose I'll haveto get him something to do, but I don't know what, unless I employ himto follow me around and arrest me when I act like a dratted fool."
She sighed, and rocked slowly.
"Another thing, Lizzie," she said. "I don't know but what Aggie wasright about Charlie Sands. I've been thinking it over, and I guess
itwas evening, for I remember seeing a new moon just before he came, andwishing he would be a girl. But I guess I was too late. If I'd knownabout this war, I'd have wished it sooner. I'm a broken woman, Lizzie,"she finished.
She put on her hat wrong side before, but I had not the heart to tellher, and went away.
However, late that evening she called me up, and her voice was not thevoice of a broken creature.
"I thought you might like to come over, Lizzie," she said. "That womanbelow has told the janitor she is going to pour ammonia water down on mytomato plants tonight, and I am making a