listening. She had lifted three shovels out of the car,and we could see her dauntless figure outlined against the darkness.
"The Germans," she said at last, "are over there behind that chickenhouse. The machine is stalled in a shell hole and contains a woundedsoldier. We are being shelled and there are those what-you-call-'emlights overhead. We must escape or be killed. There is only one thing todo. Lizzie, what is your idea of the next step?"
"Anybody but a lunatic would know that," I said tartly. "The thing to dois to go home and make an affidavit that we never saw that car, and thatthe hole in this road is where it was struck by lighting."
"Aggie," Tish said without paying any attention to me, "here is a shovelfor you."
But Aggie sniffed.
"Not at all, Tish Carberry," she observed. "I am the wounded soldier,and I don't stir a foot."
In the end, however, we all went to work to dig the car out of the hole,and at three o'clock in the morning Tish climbed in and started theengine. It climbed out slowly, but as Tish observed it gave an excellentaccount of itself.
"And I must say," she said, "I believe we have all shown that we canmeet emergency in the proper spirit. As for the hole, that drivelingidiot who dug it can fill it up tomorrow morning and no one be thewiser."
I have made this explanation because of the ugly reports spread by theboatman himself. It is necessary, because it appears that he becameintoxicated on the money Tish had so generously given him, and the milkwagon which supplied us going into the hole an hour or so after we hadleft he shamelessly told his own part and ours in the catastrophe. Theresult was that waking the next morning with a severe attack of lumbagoI heard our splendid Tish being attacked verbally by the milkman andforced to pay an outrageous sum in damages.
By September Tish had had the old body removed from her automobile andan ambulance body built on. She made the drawings for it herself, and itcontained many improvements over the standard makes. It contained, forinstance, a cigarette lighter--not that Tish smokes, but because woundedmen always do, and we knew that matches were scarce in France. It alsocontained an ice-water tank, a reading lamp, with a small portablelibrary of improving books selected by our clergyman, Mr. Ostermaier,and a false bottom. This last Tish was rather mysterious about, merelyremarking that it might be a good place for Aggie to retire to if shetook a sneezing spell within earshot of the enemy.
When I look back and recall how foresighted Letitia Carberry was I amfilled with admiration of those sterling qualities which have so manytimes brought us safely out of terrible danger.
We were, however, doomed at first to real disappointment. Witheverything arranged, with the ambulance ready and our costumes made, wecould not get to France. Tish made a special trip to Washington to seethe Secretary of War, and he remembered very well her recommendations asto the camps, and so forth, and said that he had referred the matter ofpyjamas, for instance, to the Chief of Staff. He himself felt that thepoint was well taken. He believed in pyjamas, and wore them, but that hehad an impression, though he did not care to go on record about it, thatthe chief of staff advocated nightshirts. He also said that he had aletter from General Pershing asking that no relatives of soldiers go toFrance, as he was afraid that the gentle and restraining influence oftheir loved ones would impair their taste for war.
Aggie and I began to have a little hope at that time, and Aggie tore upa will she had made leaving her property to the Red Cross, on conditionthat it kept up Mr. Wiggins' lot in the cemetery. But just as we werefeeling more cheerful Aggie had a warning. She had been readingeverywhere of the revival in spiritualism, and once before when she wasin doubt she had been most successful with a woman who told the futurewith the paste letters that are used in soup. She went to a clairvoyantand he told her to be very careful of high places, and that the warningcame from some one who had passed over from a high place. He thought itwas an aviator, but we knew better, and Aggie looked at me with agonizedeyes.
Aggie has said since that when she was in her terrible position at V----she remembered that warning, but of course it was too late then.
It was when we had gone back to the city that we realized that Tish wasstill determined to get to France. Only two days after our return shecame in with a book called "Military Codes and Signals," and gave it toAggie. She had it marked at a place which told how to signal at nightwith an electric flashlight, and from that time on for several weeks shewould sit in her window at night, with Aggie on the pavement across thestreet, also with a pocket flash, both of them signaling anything thatcame into their heads. It was rather hard on Aggie on cold evenings, andI remember very well that one night she came in and threw her flashlighton the floor, and then burst into tears.
"I'm through, Tish," she said, "and that's all there is to it! I'vestood being frozen until my feet are so cold I can't tell one from theother, but I draw the line at being insulted."
"Insulted?" Tish said. "If you are going to mind trifles when yourcountry's safety is in question you'd better stay at home. Who insultedyou?"
Well, it seems that by way of conversation Aggie had flashed that thewretch with the cornet who rooms above Tish's apartment was at thewindow watching and she wished he'd fall out and break his neck.
He had then put out his own light and had appeared in the window again,and had flashed in the same code: "Come, birdie, fly with me."
For certain reasons I have decided not to reveal how Tish finallyarranged that we should get to France. As the Secretary of War says, itmight make him very unpopular with the many women he had been obliged torefuse. It is enough to say that the wonderful day finally came when wefound ourselves on the very ocean which had carried Tish's nephew on hisglorious mission. Aggie was particularly exalted as we went down thebay, escorted by encircling aeroplanes.
"I'm not a brave woman, Tish," she said softly, "but as I look back onthat glorious sky line I feel that no sacrifice is too great to make forit. I am ready to do or die."
"Humph," said Tish. "Well, as far as I'm concerned, after the pricesthey charged me at that hotel the Germans are welcome to New York. I'dgive it to them and say 'Thank you' when they took it."
We then went below and tried on our life-preserving suits, which theclerk at the steamship office had rented to us at fifteen dollars each.
He said they were most essential, and that when properly inflated onecould float about in them for a week. Indeed, as Tish said, with acompass and a small sail one could probably make the nearest land, suchas the Azores, supporting life in the meantime with ship's biscuits, andso on, in waterproof packages, carried in the pockets provided for thepurpose. She did indeed go so far as to place a bottle of blackberrycordial in the pocket of each suit, and also a small tin of preservedginger, which we have always found highly sustaining. But we weresomewhat uneasy to discover that it required a considerable length oftime to get into the suits.
We had barely got into them when we heard a bugle blowing and menrunning. Just after that an alarm bell began to ring, and Aggie said "Ithas come!" and as usual commenced to sneeze violently. We ran out ondeck, dear Tish saying to be calm, as more lives were lost throughexcitement than anything else; though she herself was none too calm,for when we found afterward that it was only a lifeboat drill Idiscovered that she was carrying her silver-handled umbrella.
Every one was on the deck, and I must say that we were followed byenvious glances. As we had inflated the suits they were not immodest,effectually concealing the lines of the figure, but making it difficultto pass through doorways.
There was a very nice young man on deck, in a Red Cross uniform, and hesaid that as he was the only male in our lifeboat he was pleased to seethat three of the eighteen ladies in it were prepared to take care ofthemselves. He said that he felt he would probably have his hands fullsaving the fifteen others.
"Not," he added, "that I should feel comfortable until you were safelyin the boat anyhow. I should not like to think of you floating about,perhaps for weeks, and possibly dodging sharks a
nd so on."
Tish liked him at once, and said that in case of trouble if the boatwere crowded we would only ask for a towing line.
It was while this conversation was going on that Aggie suddenly said:"I've changed my mind, Tish, I'm not going."
Well, we looked at her. She was a green color, and she said she'd thankus to put her off in something or other and let her go back. She wasn'tseasick, but she just didn't care for the sea. She never had and shenever would. And then she said "Ugh!" and the Red Cross man put his armaround her as far as it would go in the rubber suit, and said thatcertainly she was not seasick, but that some people found the sea airtoo stimulating, and she'd better go below and not get too much of it atfirst.
He helped us get Aggie down to her cabin, but unluckily he put her downon Tish's knitting. We had the misfortune to hear a slow hissing sound,and her inflated suit began to wilt immediately, where a steel needlehad penetrated it.
Even then both Tish and I noticed that he had a sad face, and later on,when we had put Aggie to bed in her life suit, for she refused to haveit taken off, we sat in Tish's cabin across, listening to Aggie's moansand to his story.
Tish had immediately demanded to know why he was not in the uniform of afighting man, and he said at once: "I'm glad you asked me that. I'vebeen wanting to tell the whole ship about it, but it's so darnedridiculous. I've tried every branch and they've all turned me down, fora--for a physical infirmity."
"Flat feet?" Tish asked.
"No. The truth is, I've had a milk leg. Fact. I know itis--er--generally limited to the other sex at--er--certain periods. ButI've had it. Can't hike any distance. Can't run. Couldn't even kick aHun," he added bitterly. "And what's more, there's a girl on this shipwho thinks I'm a slacker, and I can't tell her about it. She wouldn'tbelieve me if I did--though why a fellow would make up a milk leg Idon't know. And she'd laugh. Everybody laughs. I've made a lot of peoplehappy."
"Why don't you tell her you have heart disease?" Tish inquired in agentler tone. Though not young herself she has preserved a fine interestin the love affairs of youth.
"Oh, I've got that all right," he said gloomily. "But it's not the sortthat keeps a fellow out of the Army. It's--well, that doesn't matter.But suppose I told her that? She wouldn't marry me with heart disease."
"Tish!" Aggie called faintly.
In the end we were obliged to cut the rubber suit off with the scissors,as she not only refused to get up but wanted to drown if we weretorpedoed. We therefore did not see the young man again until evening,and then he was with a very pretty girl in a Y. M. C. A. uniform. We hadgone up on deck for air, and Tish was looking for the captain. She hada theory that if we could put Aggie in a hammock she would feel better,as the hammock would remain stationary while the ship rocked. Just as wepassed them, the girl said: "He's the best-looking man on the shipanyhow. And he's a captain in the infantry. He says it is the mostdangerous branch of the service."
"Oh, he does, does he?" said the Red Cross young man. "Well, you'dbetter wait six months before you fall too hard for him. He may get hisface changed, and there isn't much behind it."
He spoke quite savagely, and both Tish and I felt that he was making amistake, and that gentleness, with just a suggestion of the cavemanbeneath, would have been more efficacious. Indeed when we knew Mr.Burton better--that was his name--we ventured the suggestion, but heonly shook his head.
"You don't know her," he said. "She is the sort of girl who likes totake the soft-spoken fellow and make him savage. And when she gets thecave type she wants to tame him. I've tried being both, so I know. I'mdamned--I beg your pardon--I'm cursed if I know why I care for her. Isuppose it's because she has about as much use for me as she has for adose of Paris green. But if you hear of that Weber who hangs round hergoing overboard some night, I hope you'll understand. That's all."
That conversation, however, was later on in the voyage. That first nightout Tish saw the captain and he finally agreed, if we said nothing aboutit, to have a sailor's hammock hung in Aggie's cabin.
"It wouldn't do to have it get about, madam," he said. "You know how itis--I'd have all the passengers in hammocks in twenty-four hours, andthe crew sleeping on the decks. And you know crews are touchy thesedays, what with submarines and chaplains and young shave-tails ofofficers who expect to be kissed every time they're asked to get off acoil of rope."
We promised secrecy, and that evening a hammock was hung in Aggie'scabin. It was not much like a hammock, however, and it was so high thatTish said it looked more like a chandelier than anything else. GettingAggie into it required the steward, the stewardess, Mr. Burton andourselves, but it was finally done, and we all felt easier at once,except that I was obliged to stand on a chair to feed her her beef tea.
However, just after midnight Tish and I in our cabin across heard aterrible thud, followed by silence and then by low, dreadful moans.Aggie had fallen out. She did not speak at all for some time, and whenshe did it was to horrify Tish. For she said: "Damnation!"
Tish immediately turned and left the cabin, leaving me to press a coldknife against the lump on Aggie's head and to put her back into herberth. She refused the hammock absolutely. She said she had forgottenwhere she was, and had merely reached out for her bedroom slippers,which were six feet below, when the whole thing had turned over andthrown her out.
She insisted that she did not remember saying anything improper, butthat the time Tish's horse had thrown her in the cemetery she hadcertainly used strong language, to say the least.
I remember telling Tish this, and she justified herself by thesubconscious mind, which she was studying at the time. She said that thesubconscious mind stored up all the wicked words and impulses which theconscious mind puts virtuously from it. And she recalled the fact thatMr. Ostermaier, our clergyman, taking laughing gas to have a toothdrawn, tried to kiss the dentist on coming out, and called him a sweetlittle thing--though Mrs. Ostermaier is quite a large woman.
We became quite friendly with Mr. Burton during the remainder of thevoyage. He formed the habit of coming down every evening before dinnerto our cabin and having a dose of blackberry cordial to preventseasickness.
"I've had it before," he said on one occasion, "but never withsuch--er--medicinal qualities. You don't put anything in it butblackberries, do you?"
"Only a little alcohol to preserve it," I told him with some pride. Igenerally make it myself.
"I will say this for it: It's extremely well preserved," he said, andfilled up the tooth mug again. It was after that that he told us thatHilda had refused to marry him, and was flirting outrageously withCaptain Weber.
"I only say this," he added gloomily: "He's right when he says hebelongs in the infantry. He's got the photographs of five youngsters inhis cabin; or he did have. He's probably hidden them now."
"Why don't you tell her?" Tish demanded.
"Why should I? Let her make a fool of herself if she wants to," he saiddespondently. "What chance have I against a shipload of 'em, anyhow? Ifit wasn't this one it would be another. She's got her eye on a tank now,and she's only waiting for that aviator to forget his stomach to sit athis feet and worship. God only knows what would happen if we had aCroix de Guerre on board."
He sat for some time, sipping the blackberry cordial and looking intospace.
"I've got it figured out this way," he said at last. "I've got to pulloff something over there. That's all. Got to get in the papers and get amedal and a wooden leg. She'd stand for a wooden leg better than a milkone," he added viciously.
Both Aggie and I noticed that Tish regarded him with a contemplativeeye, and from, that time on she spent at least a part of every day withhim. He paid no attention at all to Hilda from that time on, and onemorning while Tish and Mr. Burton were walking by her chair she droppeda book. But he did not seem to see it, and that evening the captainmoved over to her table, and Mr. Burton was very gay, but ate hardly anydinner.
We all went in the same train to Paris, and he had a sort of rev
engethen. For the captain could not speak French, and she had to ask Mr.Burton to order her dinner for her. But he ordered only one, and thecaptain was furious, naturally.
"Look here, Burton," he said, "I'm here, you know."
"Why, so you are," said Mr. Burton coldly. "I hadn't noticed you."
"How the devil can I make that woman understand that I'm hungry?"
Mr. Burton reflected.
"I'll tell you," he said. "You might open your mouth and point down yourthroat. Most of these French know the sign language."
He turned away then, and I saw a gleam of triumph in Tish's eye. Sheleaned over to him.
"She's furious that he can't speak French," she said. "Talk to me inFrench, and don't mind what I say. The only thing I can remember is alist of a hundred nouns. I'll string them together somehow."
There was a French officer near us, and I saw him watching Tishcarefully as the conversation went on. She said afterward that as nearas she could make out, Mr. Burton was telling the history of the countrywe went through, and that when he paused she would say in French:"Handkerchief, fish, trunk, pencil, book, soup," or some such list.
But it impressed