“I’m not that much of a jerk, Cris. I never told her not to cry, but it kills me inside to see it, I’ll admit that. I’m the reason she cries and that makes it even worse for me,” Seth said. “I don’t think I’m gonna play football up there, I’m gonna do the same thing she’s doing, going to school and then work a whole lot, to save money. She wants me to try for a scholarship to a four year college, but that would mean a year longer without her. I don’t know what to do.”
“She’s right, play, try for the scholarship, then see where it goes. Maybe one of the colleges around here will want you and you guys won’t be that far away. Some of the state colleges have good football programs and their not that far away from here, there’s East Stroudsburg, Kutztown,” Cris said.
“I don’t even know if I’m good enough for a scholarship,” Seth replied.
“You won’t know till you try. Just play Seth; it’ll take your mind off of her for a while too. She’s not stopping cheerleading so why should you stop football? Just try it. If you don’t like the team or coaches then quit,” Cris said.
Thinking about it for a moment, “I guess I’ll try it,” he said vaguely. “Oh tomorrow, I’m not leaving until after the game, I want to see you guys play one last time. Too bad I can’t play, but I’m all ready dis-enrolled. At least I get to finally watch her tomorrow, never get to do that while playing,” Seth said getting choked up. “I’m gonna lay her down here so she can sleep better. I’ll go sit on the chair so your Dad doesn’t have a fit.”
“You know the minute you move away from her she’s gonna wake up, just lay down with her. What the hell are you two gonna do in the middle of the living room. Besides I’m awake here, I should get some sleep, but not really tired,” Cris said. “Look Seth if it gets to be too much for you to be up there, you let us know too. We’ll figure something out, some place for you to stay. This just really sucks my best friend and sister are both going to be basket cases tomorrow right along with me.”
“Yeah I’ll remember that, but no one’s going to let me live with them for months, and I can’t stay here. It’ll all work out in the end somehow,” Seth said laying down with Lia and holding her tight. “Damn how am I going to do this, Cris? I don’t want to leave her! I’m afraid for my Mom to be up there with my Dad, don’t know if he’ll start drinking again. If something happened to her I’ll feel like shit, but I don’t want anything to happen to Lia either.”
“Now I have to work and save more money than I thought because Lia wants to pay for the wedding herself.”
“Yeah I know the pressures on, Bro, but I don’t think Lia meant for you guys to pay for it all on your own, I think she just wants to help pay for it. You know it hasn’t been easy for any of us the past couple of years with your Dad being out of work, and my Dad losing his overtime for so long, he’s just started back doing that, and it’s not as much as it used to be only a few hours a week instead of every night and weekends. He might not have lost his job, but it’s like he lost a good paying part time job. She doesn’t want to be a burden on them. Don’t worry about the wedding yet, when you both have time to sit down and talk about it, find out what she wants to pay for, maybe it might be the flowers and dj or something,” Cris said.
“Yeah I’ll talk to her later about it once everything gets settled.”
“And Bro, if she wants to pay for too much tell her straight out you can’t. Keep her on a budget, in fact figure one out before you talk to her about it, then you can tell her look you got so much towards it. You just got engaged, bask in it for awhile, then get stressed out how you’re gonna pay for it later.”
“Yeah you’re right with everything going on it’s just too much to think about something that far away.”
“Look, get some sleep. You have to drive up to New York tomorrow night and you don’t need to be tired,’ Cris said.
Seth laid back and held Lia tight. He couldn’t sleep, his mind kept racing round and round with everything they had to face in the coming months. He honestly couldn’t figure out how they were gonna do all they had to.
Not having the support of his parents bugged him more than he would let anyone know. He was tired of all the fighting, but he was losing all respect for his Dad and it had nothing to with his drinking problem. If he wouldn’t accept their engagement, he’d lose his only son.
~~*~~
“Mom we’re going over to Mr. Grayson’s before the game. We’ll probably go right from there to the school,” Lia yelled up the stairs.
“Ok make sure you take everything you need. We’ll see you at the game,” Mrs. Lombardi yelled back.
“Ready to go, Lia? It’s almost one and I don’t want him to think we forgot,” Seth asked.
“Yep, I’m ready.” she said running back in for her purse.
“Sorry, forgot my purse,” she said getting in the car.
They were quiet on the ride over, neither of them knowing what to say to each other. Lia tried, “I’m glad you’ll finally get to watch me cheer tonight, but it must be hard not being able to play, I’m sorry about that.”
“I’m there for you tonight. I want to see you cheer,” Seth said as he grasped her hand and held on to it, a little too tight. She didn’t say anything to him though she knew what he was going through. This is one of the worse days of her life, but she vowed to herself she was not crying in front of him.
They got out of the car at Mr. Grayson’s, Seth opening the door for her. As they walked up the sidewalk they saw him looking out the window. When they reached the front door he opened it before they even knocked.
“Seth, Lia, please come in, so good of you to come. Have a seat,” he said when they walked into the living room. “Tonight’s a big game for you isn’t it?”
“I can’t play. I was disenrolled as of Friday so I can be enrolled up in New York for Monday,” Seth said.
“Oh, sorry to hear that, I thought they’d let you play tonight.”
“I think the coach would, but that would put them in trouble with the league. Now if the game would have been schedule for last night I could have. It’s really no big deal; I get to watch Lia cheer. Something I couldn’t do while playing, so that’s the upside to it.”
“Will you be able to play up in New York?” Mr. Grayson asked.
“Yeah, I’m going to try it out, but if I don’t like it I’ll quit,” Seth said.
“No you won’t. You need to get a scholarship Seth. I know it might take you away from me for a year longer, but you have to think about college.”
“Lia, I don’t even know if I’m good enough for a scholarship. I have to like the team and the coaches, if not, no matter how good I am won’t make a difference.”
“That’s true, Seth,” Mr. Grayson said. “But sometimes in life you have to put up with people you don’t like, just finish out the year, try your best that’s all people can ask of you. What are you gonna do if you get a job, but don’t like someone there, quit just because someone ticks you off, or reports you for doing something wrong? No you can’t. So let this be a learning experience for you. How to put up with people you don’t like. Just stick it out; in the long run it’ll be better for you. Either you’ll get that scholarship, or you’ll learn how to deal with people you despise,” Mr. Grayson laughed.
“That’s so true,” Lia said.
“To change the subject a moment,” Mr. Grayson said. “How are the folks handling the engagement?”
“Well my Dad told me the real reason why he didn’t like Seth anymore. It had nothing to do with him and everything to do with me. He was upset that I was so intense about Seth, and wouldn’t date anyone else when we were broken up. So he took it out on Seth, but he did apologize somewhat last night. He gave us his blessing for a wedding after I graduate. Why do you ask?” Lia explained.
“Oh I happened to run into him at the store on my way home last night and congratulated him on getting such a fine son-in-la
w. That life was too short, and you two are so lucky to find the love you have for each other so young,” Mr. Grayson said with a mischievous look on his face.
“Thank you, Mr. Grayson for doing that for us. It took a big weight off my shoulders last night,” Lia confessed.
“Too bad you couldn’t do that for my Dad,” Seth said.
“You won’t be living around your Dad much longer Seth, so what he thinks doesn’t really matter. If he loves you he’ll come around. Don’t back down from what you really want out of life, but keep him involved even if he pisses you off. That’s one mistake I made, I pushed my son away from me, expecting him to do things the way I would have and by not being there for him. Now I only see him and his family around the holidays, since my wife died. They used to come around to see her more often, but she’s not here now and he doesn’t want to see his crotchety old man more than he has to.”
“I’m sure that’s not true,” Lia said trying to lighten the mood a little.
“It is, but enough of that. What are your plans for the future?” he asked.
“Once I get out of high school I want to come back here to go to college and be here for Lia’s senior year, if I can afford a place to stay. Then when she graduates we want to get married and then go away to school together somewhere.” Seth said.
“Probably a state university since it will be cheaper and we’ll be able to afford both of us going at the same time,” Lia said. “Were both going to work a lot to be able to save our money for it all.”
“Seth when you come back you can stay right here, rent free if it’ll help you out, and you don’t mind living with an old man,” Mr. Grayson said.
“That’s very kind of you and I will definitely keep that in mind,” Seth said deeply touched by the offer.
They talked about the town and the people in for another hour when Lia said, “I have to go, Mr. Grayson it’s been a real pleasure to visit with you, but I have to get up to the high school soon, the buses are leaving at 3:30 for the game.”
“Where’s the game tonight?” he asked.
“Phillipsburg, NJ and they like for us to be there early to practice,” Lia said.
“You have a fun time at that game tonight. Don’t worry about the immediate future, I feel it’ll work itself out for you two,” Mr. Grayson said.
“Thank you,” Lia said.
Once they were out in the car Seth asked, “Lia can you check up on him from time to time? Just to make sure he’s not lonely.”
“Yeah, not a problem at all, I like the old man,” Lia said.
Chapter 18
At the game Seth sat with Lia’s parents, it was bitter sweet for him to be able to watch Lia cheer, but it was hard to sit on the sidelines and watch his team play. The more the night went on, the more depressed he got. He tried not to show it, and he wanted to leave in an upbeat way. He knew his final few minutes with Lia were going to be hard, but with everyone else he didn’t want them to see his pain.
At halftime Lia sat with him they didn’t talk much they just sat in the bleachers holding hands till she had to go back. “I’ll meet you back at the high school, Lia. I don’t want to be here at the end of the game,” he said.
“Ok,” she said gloomily.
“I’ll stay till the middle of the fourth quarter, but not the end of the game,” he said. “The people I really want to say good bye to will be at the school. I just don’t want a bunch of people saying good bye.”
“I have to get back,” she said giving him a kiss.
“You’re in uniform you know no pda,” he teased. No pda was public display of affection and once you in any school uniform you could not display it.
“I don’t care right now. If I could I would leave right now with you,” she stated.
“I know, but you have to stay and I’m only leaving a few minutes before you anyway. It’s selfish I know, but I can’t be here,” he said.
“I understand, really I do. I’m not mad or anything,” she explained. “Why don’t you go now? Wait for me at the high school.”
“I’ll wait a little,” he said.
She went back to her squad to cheer the rest of the game. Seth left when her attention was preoccupied with a touchdown for them. While her back was turned toward the field he walked down the bleachers and to his car. He thought at least he won’t have to see her face when he left the game.
He felt like a coward, but it’s what he had to do to for his own sanity. He vowed to himself someway, somehow he’ll make it up to her.
After the touchdown she turned to look in the bleachers for him, but he was gone. She felt a stab right through her heart, at the same time tears rolled down her face. For the rest of the game she was listless.
The rest of the game took only fifteen minutes, so he stayed longer than he said, but to Lia it felt like hours, as did the ride back to the school. The minute the bus pulled into the parking lot she looked for his car, it was there, but he wasn’t inside. When the bus pulled up to the locker room doors he was there waiting for her.
Pushing her way to the front of the bus, she was the first one off and ran into his arms. Tears were running down her face and before anyone else came up he walked her to his car, got it and drove away.
He drove for a few minutes not knowing where to go when he ended up at the look out. He parked the car and pulled her to him, “Babe, I’m so sorry, I don’t want to go. I don’t want to leave you,” he cried.
“I don’t want you to go either. I’m sorry I busted into tears back there. I didn’t want to do that, but when you left the game that’s all I’ve been doing. The last few minutes of the game seemed like hours and the ride home was torture, then I saw your car, but you weren’t there and I thought I would have to wait till I found you. I didn’t think you would be there waiting for me.”
“Why not? Why wouldn’t I be waiting for you?” he asked.
“I don’t know, I’m all mixed up and I can’t think straight right now,” she stated. “I thought since we are engaged now this wouldn’t be so hard, but it is. I feel sick to my stomach right now, knowing I won’t see you for a while.”
“I feel the same way, Babe. I’ll call you every night and every chance I get. I’m trying out for the football team so I don’t really know what the schedule is for that, but I’ll call you right after, before I have to go to work, and before I go to sleep at night.”
“Seth we’ll make this work somehow. I promise you I’ll be here waiting for you to come back. With or without this ring I was going to be waiting here till you came back. You’re my whole life, my whole world, I can’t see my life without you in it. Please make sure you come back to me,” she begged.
“I will come back. I made you a promise, and I intend on keeping it.”
He pulled her to him and kissed her, putting her head on his shoulder he held her while she cried. He cried too. After about twenty minutes of them holding onto each other and crying he said, “I have to take you home, Babe it’s getting late and I have to drive up there.”
“Can’t you leave in the morning?” she asked pleading in her voice.
“I could, but it’s just making it harder on the both of us. I’ll call you the minute I get there, hell I’ll probably call you on the way there,” he said turning on the car.
They arrived at her place way too fast. He pulled up out front and put the car in park, he didn’t turn it off. “Aren’t you coming in?” she asked.
“No I’ll walk you to the door, but this is hard enough on us. I love you, Lia. Don’t ever forget that,” he said.
“I won’t it’s the only thing that will get me through all of this,” she cried. “I love you, Seth and I’m going to miss you so much.”
He walked around the car and opened her door. She got out and clung to him she couldn’t let go, sobs tore through her shaking her violently. He walked back around to his side of the car; he turned off the car, picked her up an
d carried her to the door, “Lia I need your key to get in.”
She reached in her purse for the keys and handed them to him. Setting her down on the porch he unlocked the door, picked her back up and walked into the living room setting her down on the couch. He sat down next to her holding her tight as she continued to cry. Suddenly she shot up and ran for the bathroom with Seth right behind her. She threw up in the toilet and sagged on the floor.
“Babe, are you alright?” he asked as he picked her up from the floor.
“Yeah, sorry I haven’t felt right all day, and I guess with everything going on it made me sick,” she said.
“Don’t be sorry. I’m the one who should be sorry, not you,” Seth groaned, feeling like a piece of crap.
“I feel so sick; let me lay down on the couch.”
He picked her back up in his arms and carried her to the couch. “Do you want me to get you anything?” he asked.
“Some soda, maybe,” she replied weakly.
He went into the kitchen got her the soda. She took a little sip and laid back down. “This is not how I envisioned our last night together. Just give a few minutes I should feel better.”
“This is… all my fault, if I wasn’t moving… you wouldn’t be so upset,” Seth said.
“We’ve been over it, it’s no one’s fault I just have myself all worked up and I got sick. If I lay here it’ll pass in a few minutes, I’m starting to feel better all ready,” she said trying to sit up.
“Lay there; don’t try to sit up yet.”
“I have too; I want you to sit here by me.”
When she sat up he sat next to her, but he made her lay back down again against his chest, “Just relax Babe, I’ll wait till your brother comes home and then I have to leave.”
“Don’t tell my parents I got sick, it’ll just worry them, making my Dad more mad at me,” Lia begged.
“Don’t worry I’m not telling anyone,” Seth replied. He sat there in silence worrying about her, something nagging at the back of his brain, but he just couldn’t put a finger on it. After a little bit she sat up and drank more soda her stomach felt better, and she was a little hungry.
“I’m hungry, you know I don’t think I ate much at all today, that’s probably why I got so sick. I’m gonna make some toast, be right back,” she said.