Read Moron's Guide to Surviving the Space Race Page 19
I was staring at the nav screen when Gabby walked onto the bridge. I’d been alone so long aboard the ship that her presence shocked me out of my contemplation.
“Uh, Martha, why is Gabby walking around?” I asked. Immediately after I asked the question, Gabby spun around looking for who I was speaking with.
Martha’s voice came over the announcing system. “It would be pointless to detain her further. She shouldn’t be a threat.”
“Okay.” I stated and turned back to look at the nav screen.
Gabby made her way slowly over to where I was and sat down in a chair near me. After a few minutes, she asked. “What are you working on?”
I wanted to scream at the woman. I still didn’t know why I had ever brought her onboard in the first place. “Working.” I made sure I clipped the response so she understood I was looking for no further communication.
Gabby sat there quietly for another few minutes, staring at the screen I was focusing my attention on. “I’m sorry John.” I heard her say in a quiet yet completely sincere voice.
I inhaled deep and blew out a long sigh. “Okay, look. I don’t want to hear it. If it wasn’t for the fact I would never be able to look Dave in the eye again I would have left you on Earth and forgot about this entire mess. Don’t come here looking for forgiveness. My tank ran a little dry when someone sold me into slavery for a few hits of stupid-dust.
“God, didn’t you remember Allen? How screwed up that guy got until he wound up in a mental institution because of that crap? You know what? Don’t answer that. I should have just kept my damn mouth shut. Just go away, Gabby. I’ll figure out somewhere for you to go soon enough. Just kind of busy trying to not get my ass killed.” I shook my head and returned my gaze to the nav screen.
“Allen was my boyfriend.” Gabby commented. I snorted and shook my head. “Don’t judge me! You ran after the straight up most drama queen girl at the orphanage so you have no room to talk!”
“She wasn’t a drama queen! She was just having a hard time getting through things.” I shot back.
“John, I hate to break it to you but she did that on purpose just for attention. I was her roommate remember? And as long as we are being brutally honest, you were her plaything. That was even how she talked about you, as just another guy that wanted her. That guy she took off with was just her spring board until she hooked up with someone that was rich or whatever.” Gabby explained to me. I tried my hardest to shut out what she was saying but my mind refused to let it go because it made a distinct kind of sense.
“I don’t care. About any of you. The lot of you can go rot in hell for all I care anymore about high school and the orphanage.” I shook my head and refused to look at Gabby. “Besides, she was better than you and the way you basically milked Dave for everything he was worth.”
“Oh hell no. Don’t put that on me. You know what, no, I didn’t hook up with Dave. But what I did do was convince him to take that damn scholarship. He got accepted into MIT John. I didn’t drag him down with my bullshit, and now look at him. He’s even more brilliant!” Gabby explained. “He tried to tell me he wanted to stay and I knew it was about me. That’s why I told him to get the hell out of Las Vegas. Away from me and all of us. He was the one that actually had a shot. The rest of us were just lined up to be statistics.”
“Oh? Then why the hell were you trying to hook him up with Steve or whatever? He would have been on the next cargo ship off Earth if he would have come back there for a visit.” I saw that my remark had the desired effect of driving a knife deep into the woman. What can I say, a part of me wanted her to hurt for what she had done. That was until another look came over her face. Acceptance.
“But he didn’t. And he isn’t. And now you have a ship and he’s on his way to graduating. I made a lot of mistakes, but I’m not going to torture myself for the ones that I would have made but didn’t. Screw that.” Gabby argued. “Whatever success you guys have, I’m a part of it. Whether you like it or not.”
Rage bubbled up inside me. I wanted so badly to wipe that look of sublime peace off her face! That’s when it hit me. “You really are in love with Dave aren’t you?”
Gabby’s eyes widened, but she didn’t turn away. Whatever Martha and her had been doing, it had obviously had some affect. “Maybe. Yes. No. Who the hell knows. I don’t have an answer for you. Besides it isn’t like it matters.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell him?” I asked, trying to understand. “I know he must have told you a million times in a lot of different ways.”
“He did. And it killed me. Every time he said it, it hurt. The guy that made me feel perfect would have happily followed me into the cesspit of my life for the past two years. John, I was screwed up. I still am screwed up.” Gabby was staring at her feet.
“He wouldn’t feel that way about you or think that way about you.” I told her, hoping against my better judgment that something good would come of this.
She chuckled. “Doesn’t matter what he would have thought, that’s how I would have been. I wish I could be the woman he saw me as but I couldn’t be. And I can’t be. The reality isn’t anywhere close to the fiction.”
“Then become that. Actually that gives me an idea. Martha, how far out of our way would it take us to head over to Beta colony?” I asked, knowing I could do the calculations but it would take me forever versus the split second Martha could do it in.
“Three point four days.” She informed me.
“Gabriella, how would you like to start over?” I asked.
“Huh? I thought I was going to have to start over, basically in hiding.”
“Oh no. Beta colony was established by a group of former intelligence operatives as a place that allowed them a fresh start in some other line of work just in case they wanted out. About five hundred colonists. Life there is hard, that’s no joke, but they will wipe away any remnants of your former life. You got to Beta for a while, learn a trade or whatever, and when you are ready to move on they have completely removed everything about your former life.” I explained. “You just have to bust your ass building the colony while they do their magic.”
“Not that I don’t like the idea, but how do you know about this place?” She asked me.
“It was actually an obscure part of a memory set that the docs downloaded. I don’t even think it was supposed to really be there but the information is there and they don’t really ask any questions as long as you know who to talk to. I know who to talk to. Martha, reroute to Beta.” I swelled with pride in my accomplishment of figuring out a simple method to straighten out this situation.