Oh God.
This was not good. He had me figured out.
“Let me go,” I begged.
His arm tightened even further and his lips stayed at my ear.
“You give it good, darlin’, that attitude. So good, I thought that was you. That isn’t you. Not all of you. I got on my hands the girl at the party who looked at me like I was the only man on the planet even when she was in a sea of people, took my hand with all the trust in the world that I was gonna make things good for her and followed me to my bed. You fucked up making the wrong decision Friday night. But I fucked up forgetting about that girl.”
I closed my eyes. I liked that. I liked that he saw that. And I liked that he admitted he fucked up. I didn’t think he had it in him but I liked it that he did.
Oh hell.
“Please, let me go,” I pleaded.
“So much to you, never had a woman who has so much that makes her. Every day, more comes out and all of it is a surprise.”
Ohmigod!
If I wasn’t wrong, that was a compliment. A good one.
I opened my eyes on the word, “Tack –”
“Day in, day out, you peel the layers back for me. Smart mouth, funny, sweet, wild in bed. Chattin’ with bikers like they were insurance brokers. Holdin’ my girl’s hand, givin’ her strength when her Mom’s bein’ a bitch. Keepin’ your chin up when your people show in the middle of a full blown drama. But so fuckin’ vulnerable, you’re scared shitless of livin’ life.”
“You don’t know me, Tack.”
His head came up and his eyes pierced mine. “I know you, Tyra.”
“You don’t.”
“Life’s a roller coaster. Best damn ride in the park. You don’t close your eyes, hold on and wait for it to be over, babe. You keep your eyes open, lift your hands straight up in the air and enjoy the ride for as long as it lasts.”
Seriously?
When did he become a sage?
He was beginning to piss me off mostly because he was making sense.
“Some people aren’t roller coaster people, Tack.”
“And you’re tellin’ me you’re one of them?” he asked.
“Damn straight,” I answered.
“Bullshit,” he replied.
I glared.
He grinned his sexy grin.
I pushed at him with my hands but this only made both of us rock two inches then Tack pushed back and he was stronger so I ended up not only plastered to him, I was also plastered to the wall.
“Let me go!” I snapped.
“No,” he shook his head, still grinning. “No fuckin’ way. Did it once, not doin’ it again.”
“You did it twice,” I reminded him and his brows shot up.
“Twice?”
“That first night. Though it wasn’t letting me go. It was kicking me out of your bed.”
He grinned again, the jerk!
“See that stung,” he said softly.
See? Total. Jerk!
“Truthfully?” I asked then didn’t wait for an answer. “Yes. I’ll let you in, handsome, just a little bit. Jumping into bed with a man I don’t know is not my style. Getting kicked out of a bed I’d jumped into was something that never happened to me. So yes, that stung. But you know what else has never happened to me?”
“Tell me,” he ordered, still… freaking… grinning.
“Seeing him just a day later in a clinch with a brunette.”
“You knew me, you’d know she didn’t have staying power and you’d know you do.”
“And how’s that?” I snapped.
“She’s dark, you’re red. I’ll fuck dark, I’ll fuck sun but only red has staying power. Considered sun once. Lost her. Now it’s you.”
He was still kind of grinning and I was still definitely glaring. “I suppose I’m supposed to take that as a compliment.”
“Just laying it out, babe.”
“I see this isn’t sinking in, handsome, but I don’t want you to lay it out. I don’t want anything from you except for you to let me go.”
“Right back at you, Red, seein’ as it’s not sinking in that I’m not gonna let you go. We’re talkin’ this shit out.”
“There’s nothing to talk out!” I cried. “We’re done.”
Suddenly his face dipped close, the room filled with his badass biker vibe and he was all I could see.
“Truthfully,” he shot my word back at me, “you were funny, you were sweet, you’re gorgeous, you have great fuckin’ hair and a great fuckin’ body and I had fun with you, darlin’, in bed and out. But you didn’t show me all that’s you so all I knew was the parts of it I wanted and I know that shit stung and this is gonna sting too, there were only parts. And I’ll warn you, babe, this is gonna sting as well but you were too easy. A man like me can get easy, easily. So that’s not what a man like me wants.” He paused, I kept glaring though I suspected my glare was more heated then he went on, “Until you squared off against me. That first night, I didn’t have it all. And I still don’t have it all but every piece you give me, baby, I like. So now I want it all and I’m gonna fuckin’ get it, Tyra. You aren’t gonna hold back, you aren’t gonna retreat, you aren’t gonna push me away and I sure as fuck am not gonna let go.”
“You’re unbelievable,” I hissed.
“You said that before, babe, what you need to get is you like exactly that about me. You’re just too fuckin’ scared to admit it.”
“Oh,” I started sarcastically, “so now you’re in my head and you know what I’m thinking?”
“Yeah, I do. You may not have lived your life suckin’ it dry but I have. I’ve jumped into bed with more than my fair share of women and I’ve spent time outta bed with more than my fair share of women and I know that a woman does not go wild for me in bed and that woman is not wild in life. You want wild, babe, because you are wild. You’re just too fuckin’ scared of it to embrace it.”
“Wrong. You just happen to be an excellent lover, Tack. The problem is, outside of bed, you’re mostly a jerk.”
“You like that too, all of it,” he shot back.
“God!” I yelled. “Seriously?”
He was losing patience. I knew this when he growled, “Seriously.”
“News flash, Kane Allen, women do not go ga-ga over men who brag about their exploits and replace them within a day.”
“Tyra, do not shit me or yourself. There was nothing to replace, not back then. You came to a party, got drunk and got laid. Same as me. The minute you gave me more of you, I took it, wanted even more and I didn’t keep that a secret, babe, and you fuckin’ know it. And you kept givin’ it. You coulda walked away and you didn’t. And along the way as we’ve been playin’ our game, you got your hooks in me and I got mine in you and you know that too.”
I definitely did if the heartache I’d experienced the last two days was anything to go by.
But I wasn’t going to tell him that.
“Your hooks aren’t in me.”
“Then why’d you drop that shit at the office instead of droppin’ it in a mailbox?” he asked, jerking his head back to indicate the desk.
Fuck.
He totally had me figured out. Even I didn’t know until that moment that was my play.
Fuck!
I gritted my teeth and glared at him.
He grinned again and gave me a squeeze.
Total jerk!
“You wanted this,” he said quietly.
“I want closure,” I returned, at this point mostly lying in order to save face.
“You want me.”
Whoosh.
There went my breath.
Tack waited but I didn’t reply.
Then Tack stopped waiting.
“You know how I got my name?”
“Does it matter that I don’t want to know?”
There it was. Another lie. I totally wanted to know. I’d been curious since he gave it to me.
“No,” he answered.
Figur
ed.
I glared at him.
“Sharp as a tack,” he stated.
I blinked.
Then I found my mouth asking, “Pardon?”
“That’s what my Dad said about me. Sharp as a tack. Said it so much, they started callin’ me that. Tack.”
“Fascinating,” I muttered sarcastically though the sarcasm was all for show. It actually was fascinating. And it was also true, regrettably.
“Clue in, Red. What I’m tellin’ you is that you are not pullin’ shit over on me. I’m a biker but I’m not an idiot. You entered this game, you knew it was a game and you made the decision, conscious or unconscious, to play it with me. And you’re playin’ it with me. I won’t allow you to throw in the towel, babe. We’re seein’ where this goes because we both want that. And we want that because what we got is hot and parts of it are sweet and parts of it are wild and parts of it are frustrating as all fuckin’ hell but all of it is alive.”
God, he was so annoying when he was right.
“You hurt me,” I reminded him and damn, his face got soft, his eyes flashed with remorse and both looked really good.
“Yeah,” he whispered.
“I’d had a really bad day and you hurt me.”
His hand at my jaw tensed and he kept whispering when he said, “I’ll probably do it again, Red, because I’m a man and any man can be a dick. But I won’t do it like that, not again. I know you got soft under that attitude and I’ll have a mind to that.”
“I don’t trust that to be true.”
“Then you’ll have to wait it out while I prove it to you.”
“I don’t have to do anything, Tack.”
The pads of his fingers pressed into my skin, his eyes changed and the way they changed, I could do nothing but stare.
Not remorse.
Not intensity.
Determination.
Steely determination.
Crap.
“Tyra, get me right now. You are not gonna slip in a movie about love and redemption and cry by my side because, even though you’ve seen it before, it still moves you and then rip that shit away from me. You are not gonna ride my fingers, whisper to me to fuck you and take my cock the way I wanna give it to you, panting for more and then rip that shit away from me too. You are not gonna clash with me, toss your attitude my way when most every other woman shies away when I’m me then rip that away. And you are not gonna expose that soft spot you got that I like and I wanna protect and take that away from me either. Babe, I told you, you didn’t get it and you need to get it.” His fingers pressed deeper into my skin. “You are Chaos now. I am Chaos. You think you got the option but you don’t. There is no goin’ back. I’ve claimed you.”
He wanted to protect my soft spot.
And he’d claimed me.
Oh boy.
“You let me go,” I whispered.
“Does it feel like I let you go?”
No, one could say it absolutely did not since he had me in his arms pinned to a wall.
Still.
“It doesn’t work that way, Tack.”
“Try me and see.”
I was right.
Determination. Steely.
“I don’t want to live in your world,” I informed him.
“You took my hand and walked with me to my bed.”
“A bed you kicked me out of.”
“And a day later, you walked right back into my world and demanded to stay there. You knew the risks, babe. And you took them. And here we are, here you are and this is where you’re stayin’.”
“You’re scaring me again,” I said softly.
His palm slid to below my ear, fingers in my hair, thumb pressed to the side of my face and his face dipped closer. “No, baby, I’m not scaring you. You’re just scared. You give me a little more, you’ll see I’ll protect it. More, I’ll protect that too. More, I got that too. When you give it all to me, if it works with us in a way that lasts, you’ll never be scared. You’ll feel safe enough to have your eyes open, your arms up and you’ll enjoy the fuck outta the ride. I’ll see to that, Red, and that’s a promise.”
God. Seriously. Totally annoying when he was right. And, I decided just then, when he was being sweet. And reassuring. And protective.
Damn.
I kept at it.
“Your whole world scares me,” I admitted. “In fact, your entire life scares me.”
“Like I said, baby, you give a little, you take my hand again like you did that night, I’ll guide you through the nightmare. We’ll make it to the other side and I promise, along the way, you’ll enjoy the ride.”
Oh hell. He was getting to me.
“I need to think about this,” I told him.
“That’s exactly what you don’t need to do. But still, I’ll give that to you.”
I felt my back straighten as the words came out of my mouth sharply. “Well, thanks. Big of you.”
Tack grinned.
“You know,” I started, “it’s annoying when you grin all know-it-all.”
“This isn’t my know-it-all grin, Red. This is my I’m gonna get me some later grin.”
I felt a couple of quivers that were on the high end of pleasant scale.
Still, I shared, “That’s even more annoying.”
“Don’t know why since me gettin’ some means you’re gonna get some.”
More quivers that were climbing the scale of pleasant but that didn’t mean I didn’t roll my eyes. I rolled them back when I heard and felt Tack chuckle.
“I told you I needed to think about this,” I reminded him then went on, “What I decide isn’t a foregone conclusion.”
“Uh, yeah it is.”
I had a strong feeling he was right partly because he wanted to protect my soft spot, a spot he liked. Partly because he was hot. Partly because he looked good grinning and he felt better chuckling. And partly because, even as he was annoying, he was kind of amusing.
But mostly because he was treating me like I mattered and he was making it clear he was not going to let me go.
Uncle Marsh said I should expect that and there it was, holding me tightly in his arms.
I didn’t let Tack in on this information. Instead, I declared, “That’s annoying too.”
He grinned again.
“Tack! Stop grinning!” I demanded.
He didn’t stop grinning but said through it, “You got the day. I’m rippin’ that shit on the desk in half too. Tonight, I’m at your place. Tomorrow, your ass is back at your desk but it’s gettin’ there on the back of my bike. Now, you’re gonna kiss me so I can get back to work, you can go home and come to a foregone conclusion.”
Totally annoying but kind of amusing. Again.
I didn’t share that.
“Actually, I was thinking more that my day would include a visit with my best friend to ascertain she’s all right after being kidnapped and interrogated by the Russian mob.”
His grin died a quick death and he returned, “Actually, you are not gettin’ anywhere near your girl or her fuck up of a man. Phone communication only until I got that shit locked down in a way that makes me comfortable for you to pay a visit.”
That didn’t sound good and my heart clenched again but a different way this time.
“Lanie isn’t safe?” I asked.
“Lanie’s safe and so are you, you stay away from Lanie.”
I studied him closely, noting, “So, reading between the lines, Lanie is only kind of safe.”
“Lanie’s as safe as I can make her seein’ as she won’t leave him and he’s not safe. You’re nowhere near either of them and you’re gonna stay that way. You also don’t know where either of them are and you’re gonna stay that way too so you can stay completely safe.”
“This is not making me feel warm and fuzzy, Tack,” I said quietly, still studying him closely.
“You made your decision, sparrin’ with me, takin’ up the challenge and playin’ the game. She made hers reclaimin
g her man. Friday, she became intimately acquainted with the risks that involves. She still made that decision. She hooked herself a fuck up of a man. You did not. You hooked yourself to a man who will not, under any circumstances, allow you to be in harm’s way. It sucks you don’t feel warm and fuzzy but that’s not on me, babe. That’s your girl. Her choice. My choice is to keep you safe and I’m takin’ it. You get me?”
Okay, well that… that made me feel warm and fuzzy.
“Do I have a choice not to get you?” I asked and his lips twitched.
Then he answered, “No.”
My eyes slid to the side and I muttered, “I didn’t think so.”
“She’s learning,” Tack muttered back and my eyes slid back to him.
“FYI, that’s annoying too.”
His lip twitch turned into a big, white smile surrounded by a sexy, dark goatee.
Shit.
“FYI, baby, havin’ your attitude back is so far from annoying, it’s not fuckin’ funny.”
And he proved his point by pressing his hard body deeper into me, sliding his hand back into my hair and dropping his eyes to my mouth.
“I think it’s time for me to go home and come to a foregone conclusion,” I whispered as my stomach started to melt when his eyes didn’t leave my mouth.
“Wrong, it’s time for that kiss you’re gonna give me,” he whispered, his face getting closer, his lips a breath away, his eyes lifting to mine and they were again determined but a different way this time.
More pleasant quivers and they were way, way up the scale.
“How about you get that kiss when I come to my conclusion?” I suggested as my heart started beating faster.
“How about, seein’ as that conclusion is inevitable, you kiss me now.”
“Tack –”
“Red, quit fuckin’ around.”
“I’m not fucking around. I have a lot on my mind. I’m not in the mood to make out with a man who may or may not end the day being kind of my boyfriend.”
His head came up and his brows drew together. “Kind of your boyfriend?”
“The conclusion is only foregone to you, handsome,” I lied.
“Babe, I’m not anyone’s boyfriend.”
I blinked again but this was so I wouldn’t flinch.
“What?” I whispered.