III
THREE MONTHS IN A BALLOON
Mr. Munchausen was not handsome, but the Imps liked him very much, hewas so full of wonderful reminiscences, and was always willing to tellanybody that would listen, all about himself. To the Heavenly Twins hewas the greatest hero that had ever lived. Napoleon Bonaparte, on Mr.Munchausen's own authority, was not half the warrior that he, the lateBaron had been, nor was Caesar in his palmiest days, one-quarter sowise or so brave. How old the Baron was no one ever knew, but he hadcertainly lived long enough to travel the world over, and stare everykind of death squarely in the face without flinching. He had foughtZulus, Indians, tigers, elephants--in fact, everything that fights,the Baron had encountered, and in every contest he had come outvictorious. He was the only man the children had ever seen that hadlost three legs in battle and then had recovered them after the fightwas over; he was the only visitor to their house that had been lost inthe African jungle and wandered about for three months without food orshelter, and best of all he was, on his own confession, the mosttruthful narrator of extraordinary tales living. The youngsters had toask the Baron a question only, any one, it mattered not what itwas--to start him off on a story of adventure, and as he called uponthe Twins' father once a month regularly, the children were not longin getting together a collection of tales beside which the mostexciting episodes in history paled into insignificant commonplaces.
"Uncle Munch," said the Twins one day, as they climbed up into thevisitor's lap and disarranged his necktie, "was you ever up in aballoon?"
"Only once," said the Baron calmly. "But I had enough of it that timeto last me for a lifetime."
"Was you in it for long?" queried the Twins, taking the Baron's watchout of his pocket and flinging it at Cerberus, who was barking outsideof the window.
"Well, it seemed long enough," the Baron answered, putting hispocket-book in the inside pocket of his vest where the Twins could notreach it. "Three months off in the country sleeping all day long andplaying tricks all night seems a very short time, but three months ina balloon and the constant centre of attack from every source is toolong for comfort."
"Were you up in the air for three whole months?" asked the Twins,their eyes wide open with astonishment.
"All but two days," said the Baron. "For two of those days we restedin the top of a tree in India. The way of it was this: I was always,as you know, a great favourite with the Emperor Napoleon, of France,and when he found himself involved in a war with all Europe, hereplied to one of his courtiers who warned him that his army was notin condition: 'Any army is prepared for war whose commander-in-chiefnumbers Baron Munchausen among his advisers. Let me have Munchausen atmy right hand and I will fight the world.' So they sent for me and asI was not very busy I concluded to go and assist the French, althoughthe allies and I were also very good friends. I reasoned it out thisway: In this fight the allies are the stronger. They do not need me.Napoleon does. Fight for the weak, Munchausen, I said to myself, andso I went. Of course, when I reached Paris I went at once to theEmperor's palace and remained at his side until he took the field,after which I remained behind for a few days to put things to rightsfor the Imperial family. Unfortunately for the French, the King ofPrussia heard of my delay in going to the front, and he sent word tohis forces to intercept me on my way to join Napoleon at all hazards,and this they tried to do. When I was within ten miles of theEmperor's headquarters, I was stopped by the Prussians, and had it notbeen that I had provided myself with a balloon for just such anemergency, I should have been captured and confined in the King'spalace at Berlin, until the war was over.
"Foreseeing all this, I had brought with me a large balloon packedaway in a secret section of my trunk, and while my body-guard wasfighting with the Prussian troops sent to capture me, I and my valetinflated the balloon, jumped into the car and were soon high up out ofthe enemy's reach. They fired several shots at us, and one of themwould have pierced the balloon had I not, by a rare good shot, firedmy own rifle at the bullet, and hitting it squarely in the middle, asis my custom, diverted it from its course, and so saved our lives.
"It had been my intention to sail directly over the heads of theattacking party and drop down into Napoleon's camp the next morning,but unfortunately for my calculations, a heavy wind came up in thenight and the balloon was caught by a northerly blast, and blown intoAfrica, where, poised in the air directly over the desert of Sahara,we encountered a dead calm, which kept us stalled up for two miserableweeks."
"Why didn't you come down?" asked the Twins, "wasn't the elevatorrunning?"
"We didn't dare," explained the Baron, ignoring the latter part of thequestion. "If we had we'd have wasted a great deal of our gas, and ourcondition would have been worse than ever. As I told you we weredirectly over the centre of the desert. There was no way of gettingout of it except by long and wearisome marches over the hot, burningsands with the chances largely in favour of our never getting outalive. The only thing to do was to stay just where we were and waitfor a favouring breeze. This we did, having to wait four mortal weeksbefore the air was stirred."
"You said two weeks a minute ago, Uncle Munch," said the Twinscritically.
"Two? Hem! Well, yes it was two, now that I think of it. It's anatural mistake," said the Baron stroking his mustache a littlenervously. "You see two weeks in a balloon over a vast desert of sand,with nothing to do but whistle for a breeze, is equal to four weeksanywhere else. That is, it seems so. Anyhow, two weeks or four,whichever it was, the breeze came finally, and along about midnightleft us stranded again directly over an Arab encampment near WadyHalfa. It was a more perilous position really, than the first, becausethe moment the Arabs caught sight of us they began to make franticefforts to get us down. At first we simply laughed them to scorn andmade faces at them, because as far as we could see, we were safely outof reach. This enraged them and they apparently made up their minds tokill us if they could. At first their idea was to get us down aliveand sell us as slaves, but our jeers changed all that, and what shouldthey do but whip out a lot of guns and begin to pepper us.
"'I'll settle them in a minute,' I said to myself, and set aboutloading my own gun. Would you believe it, I found that my last bulletwas the one with which I had saved the balloon from the Prussianshot?"
"Mercy, how careless of you, Uncle Munch!" said one of the Twins."What did you do?"
"I threw out a bag of sand ballast so that the balloon would rise justout of range of their guns, and then, as their bullets got to theirhighest point and began to drop back, I reached out and caught them ina dipper. Rather neat idea, eh? With these I loaded my own rifle andshot every one of the hostile party with their own ammunition, andwhen the last of the attacking Arabs dropped I found there were enoughbullets left to fill the empty sand bag again, so that the lostballast was not missed. In fact, there were enough of them in weightto bring the balloon down so near to the earth that our anchor ropedangled directly over the encampment, so that my valet and I, withoutwasting any of our gas, could climb down and secure all themagnificent treasures in rugs and silks and rare jewels these robbersof the desert had managed to get together in the course of theirdepredations. When these were placed in the car another breeze cameup, and for the rest of the time we drifted idly about in the heavenswaiting for a convenient place to land. In this manner we were blownhither and yon for three months over land and sea, and finally we werewrecked upon a tall tree in India, whence we escaped by means of aconvenient elephant that happened to come our way, upon which we rodetriumphantly into Calcutta. The treasures we had secured from theArabs, unfortunately, we had to leave behind us in the tree, where Isuppose they still are. I hope some day to go back and find them."
Here Mr. Munchausen paused for a moment to catch his breath. Then headded with a sigh. "Of course, I went back to France immediately, butby the time I reached Paris the war was over, and the Emperor was inexile. I was too late to save him--though I think if he had lived somesixty or seventy years longer I should h
ave managed to restore histhrone, and Imperial splendour to him."
The Twins gazed into the fire in silence for a minute or two. Then oneof them asked:
"But what did you live on all that time, Uncle Munch?"
"Eggs," said the Baron. "Eggs and occasionally fish. My servant hadhad the foresight when getting the balloon ready to include, among thethings put into the car, a small coop in which were six pet chickens Iowned, and without which I never went anywhere. These laid enough eggsevery day to keep us alive. The fish we caught when our balloon stoodover the sea, baiting our anchor with pieces of rubber gas pipe usedto inflate the balloon, and which looked very much like worms."
"As their bullets got to their highest point and beganto drop back, I reached out and caught them." _Chapter III._]
"But the chickens?" said the Twins. "What did they live on?"
The Baron blushed.
"I am sorry you asked that question," he said, his voice tremblingsomewhat. "But I'll answer it if you promise never to tell anyone. Itwas the only time in my life that I ever practised an intentionaldeception upon any living thing, and I have always regretted it,although our very lives depended upon it."
"What was it, Uncle Munch?" asked the Twins, awed to think that theold warrior had ever deceived anyone.
"I took the egg shells and ground them into powder, and fed them tothe chickens. The poor creatures supposed it was corn-meal they weregetting," confessed the Baron. "I know it was mean, but what could Ido?"
"Nothing," said the Twins softly. "And we don't think it was so bad ofyou after all. Many another person would have kept them laying eggsuntil they starved, and then he'd have killed them and eaten them up.You let them live."
"That may be so," said the Baron, with a smile that showed howrelieved his conscience was by the Twins' suggestion. "But I couldn'tdo that you know, because they were pets. I had been brought up fromchildhood with those chickens."
Then the Twins, jamming the Baron's hat down over his eyes, climbeddown from his lap and went to their play, strongly of the opinionthat, though a bold warrior, the Baron was a singularly kind,soft-hearted man after all.